Your Anxiety Toolkit

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast. This week’s podcast was recorded from an RV on Pacific Coast Highway.  It was the last day of my birthday celebration and I rented and drove a 35-foot RV to the beach so I could celebrate my new year with my dear friends and dear family.  As I sat back, I reflected on what my biggest goal was for my 38th year.  My goal for the upcoming year is NO MORE RUSHING. That’s right!  I have made a deal with myself.  NO MORE RUSHING.  No more rushing my kids.  No more rushing my family.  No more rushing my joy. No more rushing my anxiety.  My hope for my 38th year is to slow down and really drop down into the present moment. My hope is to be present and absorb the joy that exists all around me. Since I made the goal of no more rushing, I have found that I am more aware of all of the beauty in my life and I am more present to really see the amazing people and places around me.  On this birthday weekend, we sat on the beach and just absorbed the lov

Do you ever wonder how to live in the present? Is this a question you ask yourself often? Or, have you already got a good mindfulness practice, but you wonder how to live in the present when it comes to intrusive thoughts, intrusive images and strong emotions and urges? If this sounds true for you, you are not alone. I, too, am constantly on a mission to figure out how to live in the present in a more authentic and mindful way. In this week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we take a CBT SCHOOL listener’s question. A wonderful member of our CBT School community reached out and asked a very important question and instead of replying personally, I thought it would benefit everyone by addressing this question with you all. Considering that I am always on a mission to solve the question of how to live in the present, I thought we could all take a look at this issue together! The listener’s question is:  "I work hard to implement mindfulness in my life, and in many ways it makes sense and helps me. But s

In today’s episode, we are talking all about how to manage Perfectionism. I am so honored to have Monica Packer on the podcast as this week’s guest, as she has such an inspirational story about how she was impacted by perfectionism and what steps she is taking each day to take her life back from Perfectionism.  This episode is jam packed with tools and strategies to demonstrate how to manage perfectionism in your life.   In this episode, Monica answered the below questions and delivered some incredible insight into how to manage perfectionism in areas I myself had never considered.   What is perfectionism and how has it impacted your life? What did perfectionism look like for you personally?  We often praise people who are “perfect."  What are your thoughts on this?  At what point in your life did you realize you were a perfectionist?  What did perfectionism look like for you personally?  How long had you experienced perfectionism?  What was your experience with overcoming perfectionism?  What advic

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is called “Watch your mouth” and I mean that in the kindest possible way. I know we usually hear the phrase “Watch your mouth” as a phrase of discipline and can often be shocked or intimidated by such a statement. In this episode, we talk all about the words we use in daily life.  We address how we often say things that simply are not true, or are quite unkind. Because we often unconsciously believe what we tell ourselves, we have be careful not to address ourselves in ways that are unhelpful. Take a quick look at the below examples: • “I NEVER do anything right” • “I am so BAD for having this thought” • “You ALWAYS make me anxious”  Here are a few examples of ways in which we say things that are untrue and unhelpful. When we do this, we not only feed ourselves stories that are unhelpful but we also create an environment where negativity exists. I can make the assumption that these negative statements are not helpful for you. In this episode, we hope to i

I am honored to have Steven C. Hayes, author of A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Towards What Matters, back on the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. He was on Ep. 83 and is joining us again! There is nothing that makes me happier than to chat with Steven Hayes about the unbelievable work he is doing and I cannot tell you how much I adored his most recent book. In this week's podcast episode, Steven Hayes addressed how we can reach a liberated mind by improving psychological flexibility and moving away from psychological rigidity.  Not only does Hayes address these important topics using a combination of science and reason, but he also discussed how we can access a liberated mind by practicing compassion and kindness, and by seeking out our own set of values. During this conversation, we touched on some really difficult topics including suicidal ideation, immigration, global warming and other issues that impact the state of the world. Steven Hayes does such a beautiful job teaching us how we can reach be more

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   Today we are talking all about Accepting our Common Humanity.  You may remember that Kristin Neff was on the podcast (Ep. 87) and she spoke about how Common Humanity is a core component of Mindful Self-Compassion.  In that interview, Kristin Neff spoke about how we must notice that we are all in this together.  Her description of Common Humanity is that we are never alone because all humans suffer and all humans feel emotions similar to what you are feeling, although it might not have the same content and be experienced from the same source of stress. Kristen Neff also addressed how we should not compare our suffering to that of another.  When we do that, we minimize our own suffering and we reject the common humanity that we all experience. In this episode, my goal was to share with you some of the struggles I have had in accepting my own human-ness.  As I have battled multiple medical issues this year, I have had to face my common humanity ov

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today we are thrilled to introduce Dr. Laura Wetherill who will be talking about school anxiety.  Dr Laura Wetherill is a Formal Research Scientist, turned full-time mom, who has a gift for doodling and supporting students with their studies and their mental health.  Dr. Laura Wetherill now considers herself an online educator and has so much to share with us about managing school anxiety. During the interview, we address the below questions:  What advice to you have for those who afraid of how stressful the year will be?  How can students manage comparisons (with students who are “smarter” or “more popular” etc.)? Any tips for managing time during the school year?  How can one manage the fear of failing a test or a class?  How can one manage strong feelings of dread and hate towards school?  Dr. Wetherill gathered information on how students are feeling about going back to school and learned a lot about school anxiety and fears: When as

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I was reflecting on what you might need to hear and it dawned on me that you might need a solid dose of compassion.  So, today we are talking about finding your compassionate voice.  In this podcast, I will lead you through a “Finding your compassionate voice” meditation, created originally by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer.  The script is below, but please note that I did change a few components to match the style of my voice and my ideas for what you needed to hear.   Finding your compassionate voice involves us bringing what we need to hear to our awareness. Examples of finding your compassionate voice might sound like:  “I love you”  “I am here for you”  “You are enough”  “You are loved”  “Everything is going to be ok”  Finding your compassionate voice is an exercise or tool that might be able to offer you a skill to increase self-compassion, self-kindness, and self-respect. Finding your Compassionate Voice Meditation

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  We are talking all about our bodies and addressing a very important topic called Health At Every Size in this episode.   Today, I am honored to talk to Emily Cooper, a therapist who specializes and is so knowledgeable about health at every size, body positivity, body neutrality, and privilege. In this episode, we talk about whether there is a “right type of body” or a “wrong type of body” and how society and diet culture impact us and how we see our bodies. Emily Cooper addressed why Health At Every Size is an important concept that improves self-respect and self-love. Health At Every Size (HAES) is an inclusive movement that supports people of all sizes, weights, and body types in addressing health directly by adopting healthy behaviors.  Health At Every Size does not focus on weight as the sole indicator of health.  Being thinner does not necessarily make a person healthier or happier.  A “healthy body” aligns with more than one body type a

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.   Today we are talking about a concept that I get asked about so often.  Today we are talking all about how to manage intrusive thoughts.  So often I am asked by clients and the CBT School community questions like, “What is an intrusive thought?” and, “How do I manage intrusive thoughts from becoming mental compulsions?” and, “Why is it so hard to manage intrusive thoughts?” These are all such good questions and I can totally resonate with why it is such a difficult and confusing topic.  In today's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I talk about why thought suppression doesn’t work and why distraction is a tool that only works for a short period of time.  In this episode, we review the practice of mindfulness in an attempt to manage intrusive thoughts and create an environment in your brain where fear and uncertainty doesn’t run the show.   A wonderful follower sent me the below question: “I have heard you talk about distraction and thought suppression. Does t

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast will really change the way you look at and relate to Self-care. In this episode, we aren’t talking about luxurious, expensive and unsustainable self-care.  We are talking about affordable self-care.  And, we are talking about self-care that costs NOTHING!  If you struggle with self-care, this is the episode for you.  If you struggle to even be aware of when you need self-care, this is the episode for you.  In this episode, we talk with Psychologist Dr. Jenn Hardy about how marketing and media have made self-care into something that should look perfect, cost a lot of money and be luxurious.  Dr. Jenn Hardy brings up the wonderful point that a self-care plan that is expensive and indulgent is not sustainable and won’t fit into most people’s daily lives.  Dr. Jenn Hardy addresses a concept she coined, affordable self-care, which is taking care of your basic needs and making time each day to give your body and mind what it needs.   Here are a few exampl

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today I am sharing my takeaways from the 2019 International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) Conference. I just got back and it was possibly one of the most wonderful experiences.  This year, the conference was in Austin, Texas, and I won't lie…it was HOT.  I was super impressed with the people from Texas, as they were so kind, cheerful and helpful. In today’s episode, I wanted to give you guys a quick peek at what I took away from the 2019 IOCDF conference this year.  The 2019 IOCDF Conference is a conference that is held annually to help provide education, support, and advocacy for those who struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Health Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, Tic Disorder or Tourette's Disorder and general anxiety.  It is a wonderful opportunity for those who need extra support or want to learn the gold-standard treatment for OCD.  Not only is it an educational weekend, but it is also a weekend filled with

In today's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, we are discussing a compassion practice that will change your life.  Today, we are talking about the Buddhist practice, Tonglen Meditation for anxiety. The ancient meditation practice of Tonglen is known as a practice of “taking and sending”. Tonglen Meditation for anxiety is a practice that is similar to everything we talk about here on Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Tonglen Meditation for anxiety reverses our usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. Commonly, people with anxiety want to learn how to eliminate their own suffering and pronouns such as “I”, “Me” and “Mine” is the focus of their attention.   The use of Tonglen is a practice of compassion for all humans, including ourselves, that allows us to visualize taking in the pain of others with every in-breath and sending out whatever will benefit them on the out-breath.  In the process of Tonglen Meditation for anxiety, we let go of patterns of selfishness and we bring love to both ours

This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit was not an easy one to record.  No one likes to have a conversation about suicide, but we need to.   We need to have a conversation about suicide more than ever and we need to keep having these conversations until we break the stigma of suicide.   Recently, one of our dear CBT School members died by suicide and our community was heartbroken.  My heart was broken.  Even as a therapist, I cannot prepare myself enough for the conversation about suicide.   Thankfully, as we all grieve this sad loss, we are joined today by Joe Dennis to help us work through this difficult topic.  Joe Dennis is the Clinical Director of Mindful Counseling in Utah with such a wonderful kind heart.  In a flash, Joe agreed to join me for a conversation about suicide where he educated us about suicide and gave us some wonderful tools and resources for those who are struggling with thoughts of suicide.  We also discussed tools and resources for those with a loved one who has died by suicide. 

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  This week we are joined by the amazing Dan Furlong.  Dan Furlong is the man behind @maleanxietydepression on Instagram and is an inspiration to many in the mental health field.   In this episode, Dan Furlong talks about his recent experience with running the Jungle Ultra in Peru through the Amazing Jungle.  Dan Furlong called it a “self-sufficient race” where he had to run for 5 days through the Amazon Jungle, 3 of which had torrential rain.   Dan Furlong talked about his struggle with anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and depression.  Dan also talked about his struggles with suicidal ideation.  Dan said many inspiring things throughout this episode, but here are a few inspirational quotes that really got me thinking.  When discussing his experiences with depression, Dan quoted, “You need to goal set your way out of depression. He talked about how he never lets himself give up and “only when you go through real pain do you

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, we are talking about finding a middle path in our recovery.  This is a very important topic to me, as it is what has helped me immensely in my own anxiety management.   Finding a Middle path (or middle way) is about us seeing beyond our dualistic or black-and-white ways of thinking, behaving and being.  Finding a middle path (or way) describes our journey of seeing the middle ground between attachment (where we cling and grasp onto things being a certain way) and aversion (where we run away from things that are not the way we want them to be).  Finding a Middle Path is about stepping away from “good” and “bad” and seeing that there is no good and bad, and there is only neutral.   In this episode, we talk about embracing the dialectics of change and stillness at the same time. We addressed how finding a middle path is being independent whilst also being a part of a larger community.  It is where we embrace tension, paradox and change and discover

Dr. Sarah Sarkis Talks About Anxiety Management and Your Relationship with Anxiety Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we have Dr. Sarah Sarkis on to talk about Your Relationship with Anxiety.   Dr. Sarah Sarkis is a psychologist, writer, and performance consultant with a private practice in Honolulu, Hawaii (though it won’t take you long to discover she’s a Boston girl at heart). Her integrated approach is big on science, low on bullshit, empowering us to achieve long-term change and growth through an eclectic blend of psychology, neurobiology, and functional medicine. Her blog, The Padded Room, is your virtual safe space to help you manage the jarring realities of life. There, you’ll find a soft landing for life’s harshest truths. You can find it at drsarahsarkis.com.  Addressing your relationship with anxiety might be one of the most important steps you take when it comes to your anxiety management.  Dr. Sarah Sarkis beautifully shares how she approaches fear

Do you remember podcast episode #92 where I talked about my new goal of Failing 100 times?  At the beginning of this year, I set the goal to fail 100 times in my business, personally and in my life.  The whole concept came from a podcast episode by Amy Porterfield (EP# 247) where she set the goal to fail 100 times this year, not because she wanted to drop everything and mess up, but because she wanted to set goals that were so high that she was destined to “fail.”   The whole premise of failing 100 times was to reach for the stars instead of setting goals that held us back and limited us. Well, I decided that I was going to fail 100 times this year, but I was hit by a rude awakening that has completely changed the way I think about failure.  As some of you may know, I have been struggling with some pretty serious medical and emotional issues this year.  It has been a very scary and uncertain journey for me, but I have learned so much about myself.  What ended up happening was that I ended up failing i

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today is a little different.  I was all ready to record a podcast and all of a sudden, I put that podcast episode on hold and just spoke from the heart.  I just wanted to talk directly to you and remind you to honor your hard things.  I know when things are hard and you are struggling, it feels like you have no choice but to give up, but again, always honor your hard thing. In this episode, I share about a recent “hard thing” I did with my daughter.  I shared how surprised I was by how hard it was and emphasized that we do not honor the hard things we do enough.  My goal was to address how we compare our struggles in mental health with others who do not have the same struggles.  Because of this, we don’t honor the hard things you are doing (which is a lot).   In addition, we judge ourselves for struggling and we make it hard on ourselves when things are already hard.  My hope with this episode is to help you along to honor every hard t

On today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, we are talking all about a journey of self-compassion.  Yep, that’s right!  This is one special episode. This week we are joined by previous guest, Ethan Smith, the national ambassador for the charity called the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF).  Ethan talks all about his new experiences and journey of self-compassion and how he has learned a lot about himself in the past year.  Consider this Chapter 2 of Ethan's story, as he shares his struggles with taking responsibility for what goes wrong in his life and not blaming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for his struggles.  Ethan also shares how he is learning how to cope with “bad” choices and making mistakes and how he was pushed into the practice of self-compassion when he realized he was still under the spell of internalized stigma of mental health.  This is such an important issue and one I want to focus on in the future of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   Ethan also shared his