Your Anxiety Toolkit

Happy Halloween everyone!  It's one of my favorite months and I LOVE that everyone is so willing to be afraid on this special day.   Let's all commit to being willing to be scared/afraid/anxious every day, shall we? This episode is a little different to the normal format.  Today, I answer questions from Your Anxiety Toolkit listeners about anxiety, OCD, Mindfulness and appropriate treatment for certain disorders. Questions include: How to manage Postpartum OCD (including thoughts of hurting our children) How to help someone with Scrupulocity or Moral Obsessions (including fear of offending God or sinning) How to help a son with OCD and Tic Disorder How to manage thoughts about Death GREAT, GREAT QUESTIONS!  I hope my answers were helpful Have a wonderful day everyone!

  Hi there guys!  I couldn't finish the day without checking in with you and sending you my support after such a difficult day.   This podcast was not planned and I kind of threw it together at the last minute.  I hope it is helpful. For anyone in Las Vegas or Puerto Rico or any other place where there is destruction and pain, please know that I am praying for you and I hold you in my heart. These scary events can trigger our already high anxiety, so please listen for some tips and tools to manage your anxiety about the current events and affairs in the news. A couple of important points: Anger Sadness and Anxiety/Fear are all very human responses to these horrific events. Obsessions to look out for: "Will this happen to me, or a loved one?" Intrusive Imagery (Mental images of people suffering from traumatic events, shootings, hurricanes, earthquakes etc) Intrusive sounds (Gun shots, people crying, sobbing, screaming, sirens etc) For those with Harm OCD:  "Am I capable of doing such an act?" Compulsions to

  If you are anything like me, the days go by too fast and you find yourself running through the day without stopping to take in the beauty of nature.   Is it just me? Today, I was lucky enough to interview Zoe Gillis, who I consider to be the MASTER of combining mindfulness with a wilderness practice. She combines hiking, backpacking and camping with Mindfulness and Meditation as a way to get a deeper understanding of our self and each other.  It is BRILLIANT stuff and it makes me want to pack my bags and go camp in the dessert right now! Zoe is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a wilderness guide who is the founder of Z Adventures.   Z Adventures thrives on the belief that we need to disconnect before we can connect and step out into the wilderness more often. During this podcast, Zoe and I discuss: Ways to introduce nature into your mindfulness practice. How being in nature can help us identify how we see ourselves How being in nature can help us identify our strengths and weaknesses. The benef

How to Heal Self-Blame with Self-Forgiveness using Ho'oponopono Meditation If you are anything like me, you are quick to blame yourself for any of the below reasons: You have not achieved some level or expectation. You tried to better yourself and you "failed." You made a mistake (unintentional) or had an accident (I call this, “You Did a human” AKA Making a human mistake) Especially for you, if you have OCD; You have “bad” thoughts, intrusive thoughts, thoughts you deem "unacceptable." You feel like you are a BAD person who doesn't EVER deserve to be forgiven. You are attempting to work through your mental health issues. You struggle to do exposures or follow some treatment goal. You experience self-disgust (for having pimples, cellulite, intrusive thoughts etc. My main message in this podcast is this: HUMANS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECT! HUMANS ARE ALWAYS AND FOREVER GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES! This podcast details a practice called Ho’oponopono.  Ho-oponopon is a spiritual practice of harmony between peopl

What You Say To Yourself Matters. More importantly, what you say to yourself about anxiety matters! In this podcast, I delve into the importance of accurate and mindful language, specifically related to how to experience and manage anxiety.   Believe it or not, the story you tell yourself can greatly change the way you see yourself and the world around you. The way we talk to ourselves about our experience of anxiety can greatly affect the management of our anxiety, and can create a platform for whether we thrive or merely survive our anxiety. To help us conceptualize this subject, I use a fictional example, Mary.  My hope is that Mary can help us understand the complexity of our negative thinking and help us to find new ways to talk to ourselves about our anxiety. Example: Mary has anxiety and wakes up and feeling anxious. She immediately thinks, “I am so anxious”, “Something bad is going to happen”, “It isn’t fair that this is happening”, and “Why me?”    She goes off to work, repeating in her head, “I can

GUILT, SHAME and being “SO OCD” with Shala Nicely I am honored to share with you a recent interview I did with OCD ROCKSTAR and dear friend, Shala Nicely. Shala is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta and treats OCD and OCD Spectrum Disorders using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I briefly outlined the conversation and left all the links discussed during the podcast. Enjoy! Shala recently wrote an awesome blog post article about a top women’s magazine that posted an article encouraging readers to “be a little OCD!” Shala declared enough was enough and got writing. Shala and her ROCKSTAR mom are doing so much to advocate for the OCD community. See the below link to check it out. http://www.shalanicely.com/misc/aha-moments-magazine-encouraging-us-little-ocd/ How do you respond when people say, “I am SO OCD?” Shala reports that she always aims to never shame anyone. For this reason, she talked about polite and non-shaming ways to educate others on what OCD and how painful and debilitating it can be. How

Hello everyone! I am excited to share this months podcast, as we are joined by what I call a CBT SUPERSTAR, Sara Vicendese.  Sara is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) in addition to traditional PsychoDynamic therapy. This podcast is based on the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child".   This phrase is used often to explain the importance of community when raising a thriving and successful child.  We believe that you can create your own "micro-village" to help you along with your recovery. Today we talk about ways to create YOUR "Village" (in whatever form you think is helpful) to help you with your on personal recovery.  We discuss how to find the correct treatment, access the most helpful resources and how to include your family members, friends or partners in your recovery, in a healthy and helpful way. Below is a basic layout of our conversation.  Enjoy!!!  Today we talk about ways to create YOUR

The Skill of Being Patient There is an urgency that is ruining us in today’s culture. We must have everything right away and we get upset when we don’t get our way. When I catch myself in these behaviors, and I am mindful enough, I ask, “Why am I behaving this way?” The answer is always FEAR!   We are afraid of being late. We are afraid someone will judge us or be upset at us for being late.   We are afraid of not checking off everything on our list of things to do, which will make us feel unsatisfactory. We are afraid if we don’t do it fast enough, we won’t get home early enough to have a moment to ourselves, where we can breathe and find some peace. So, we clench our teeth, take the corners too fast and we fail to take in any of the joy of that moment. We keep forgetting is that peace lies in this moment.   The problem here is that rushing and insisting things go to our expected timeline is setting us up to have discomfort. Patience requires us to accept and tolerate difficulties and delays, without getting

This is a message to you, for those times when you feel like you are failing. This is a little bit of a verbal manifesto for you, if you feel like you are not winning the fight against anxiety and you are lost on where to go next. Maybe you feel like you can’t seem to get relief from your anxiety. Or you are unable to do something that is super scary for you. Possibly you have mastered one struggle and then you have found that a new anxiety or struggle has risen. In this moment, you may feel like you cannot seem to get “control” over whatever it is that you are dealing with.   Because of this, your emotions might be raging, despite your attempts to calm them. Below are my favorite FIVE points to remember when you think that you are failing, or not winning.   I hope they find you some peace and give you some ideas to help you keep moving forward. FIVE things for you to remeber when you think you are “failing” Thing #1 You cannot “fail” if you are trying. If you are trying, you are being willing Failing is if y

Let’s talk about your Brain and Anxiety When your physical symptoms of anxiety are high, you may feel like nothing works.   You may have moments when you feel like you can’t come back to your rational brain.  When we are all wound up on anxiety, fear can run the show.   You know what I am talking about, right? Despite there being some great tools out there, but one of the most difficult parts of having severe anxiety or panic is the comprehending what IS real danger and what IS NOT. Last month we talked about R.A.I.N, which is an acronym that helps us use some of the most important mindfulness tools.   There is also non-judgment, acceptance, willingness, bringing our attention to the present moment.   These are all wonderful tools. For me personally, if I can understand the mechanism behind what is happening, I can handle it better. That is why understanding what was happening in my brain was SO helpful. Today we are going to delve deeper into understanding our brain and what happens when we experience high a

RAIN: A four step Mindfulness tool Welcome back and Happy New Year everyone! Today we are discussing a very valuable mindfulness tool called RAIN. It can be a super helpful way to manage strong emotions and sensations.   RAIN can help manage anger, shame, guilt, sadness, depression and pain.   I have found this tool to be a particularly helpful tool for those experiencing anxiety or panic, but is also a very helpful tool for strong hair pulling or skin picking urges. RAIN is an acronym. Each letter represents one step and is a part of a 4-step mindfulness tool. R is for RECOGNIZE: The first step is to recognize what is going on in this present moment. Recognizing gets us to slow down, or stop. Often, we are so reactive that we don’t stop to notice if there might be another solution or another was to respond. An example of this might be “Oh, I am feeling hurt right now” or “Oh, I am having a thought about the possibility of me panicking very soon” We stop to recognize things for how they really are. A is for

  YOUR MINDSET MATTERS: How being in "Yes Mind" can be a game changer for you! My main goal for this podcast is to create a new approach for handling Anxiety and other difficult emotions and sensations. During today’s podcast I am talking about being in YES mind, NO mind and MAYBE mind and what that all means in relation to how we approach anxiety and other emotions. We will conclude with a short mindfulness meditation to help you take on some of the mindfulness skills discussed today. Some may have heard me speak about this idea of YES NO and MAYBE, but during this podcast I am going into greater detail and discuss why this concept is so important when you live with anxiety, depression or other similar struggles such as eating disorders and BFRB’s. In order to make this easy to understand, lets pretend you have been asked to present at the annual conference for the industry you work in and you are terrified of public speaking. You can insert your own story into this story (Contamination OCD and you have to g

Hi there everyone! This months podcast is a guided relaxation meditation.  I ADORE this meditation and is one that I have adapted from several meditations that I love.  It is super easy and doesn't require a lot of effort, except just staying with me. It is particularly easy to use before, during or after doing exposure for OCD or other anxiety disorders.  I also encourage this when practicing mindful eating or intuitive eating.  It is a great way to direct your attention back to your body and into the moment. Try it and let me know what you think. And Happy Belated Thanksgiving! Warmly, Kimberley

The Skill of Awareness   Halloween is just around the corner and we are moving into the holiday season. You may notice that you can go the whole day without noticing. You are in what I call Autopilot. Much of the time we are so in our head, we forget to be aware When we experience stress, we assume that something fundamentally is wrong or that a disaster will happen. We become disconnected. We avoid situations. We stop taking care of ourselves. We get irritated. We mentally ruminate. We judge ourselves negatively. For those who have OCD, you have more obsessions and do more compulsions For those with an Eating Disorder, you might restrict more, or binge more, or purge more. If you have a Body Focused Repetitive Behavior (BFRB), you will spend more time in a “trance” state.   Awareness can be a VERY helpful tool to protect us against these behaviors.   What is Awareness?   Definition   knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or develop

Self-Compassion is a helpful tool for managing shame and blame and negative self-talk.   It is particularly, in my experience, helpful for those struggling with OCD, Panic Disorder, Phobias, Health Anxiety, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors,  Eating Disorders and Depression. The Center for Mindful Self Compassion (centerformsc.org) describes self-compassion in the following way- “Self-compassion involves responding in the same supportive and understanding way you would with a good friend when you have a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself.” Self-compassion is Kindness,  Warmth, Gentleness and Care. When I talk about the practice of self-compassion, I use the metaphor that self-compassion washes away shame and blame like the rain washes away the dirt on our cars. As the rain gently falls, the dirt slowly falls away. Once the rain has come and gone, there is less heaviness and dirt on the car.   It is easier to see out the windows and now you can see the beautiful fields and

This podcast discusses Uncertainty and how it exists on a spectrum, The Beginners Mind, Tools to manage anxiety and uncertainty, and the joys that curiosity provide.   A short meditation is offered at the end to help the listener practice these skills. 

Key Points from todays podcast!   What IS the difference between Fear and Bravery? Is someone who has social anxiety, who goes to the party, but is visibly anxious, fearful or brave? Is someone who has perfectionism, who finishes a text without going over and over the answers before turning it in? Is someone who is ashamed of his or her body and afraid of peoples rude comments, but goes to the party anyway in the dress or outfit they love fearful or brave?   My thoughts are….they are both.   Begin fearful is not a weakness.   Allowing there to be both allows for compassion and strength   Brene Brown “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen”   My definition of Bravery is the examples above. Having fear AND showing up.   Vulnerability is not a weakness. It is a measure of courage    Perfectionism is an attempt to avoid vulnerability with ourselves and others.   Go and be brave, while being afraid. Go and make friends with vulnerability   “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that

It's time for a parade!!!  Hello and welcome back!!! My name is Kimberley Quinlan and this is Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, speaking about anything and everything related to anxiety and mindfulness.  Today, in the spirit of the upcoming 4th of July, I wanted to talk about parades!! You know???? Floats and crowds and cheers and lollipops and picnic chairs.   For some, these are some of our greatest memories. I often use a parade as a metaphor for our thoughts. In fact, I have heard several different clinicians or teachers of eastern philosophy use a parade metaphor to discuss the experience of anxiety, pain, sadness or life, in general. As I said, for the purpose of this podcast, I am going to use the metaphor in relation to our thoughts.   Lets get straight to it, shall we???? First, I would like you to slowly take a deep breath. If you would like, you can close your eyes, but it is not entirely necessary for this activity.   Again, I would like you to take a breath and imagine yourself at the sidewalk of a s

5 SENSES PODCAST Hello and welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit.   My name is Kimberley Quinlan.   A big part of my work as a therapist is to help clients tolerate fear and anxiety (or other forms of discomfort such as urges and sometimes pain), instead of doing compulsive behaviors.   In effort to keep this podcast short, I wont go into detail about compulsions. But, if you are wanting more information on compulsive behaviors related to specific anxiety disorders, eating disorders, or Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors, please go to my website under “Areas of specialty”   The reason I decided on this specific topic today is because of the common question asked by clients “If I choose NOT to do these compulsive behaviors, what should I do instead?”.   Well, I like to think of our experience in this life like looking through the lens of a camera. When we are anxious, we often ZOOM in on what is making us anxious or we zoom in to our sensations of anxiety. We FOCUS on the problem. We stay zoomed in, thinking this wil

Lovingkindness is a great way to create more compassion and self care in your life.   I was recently lucky enough to attend and present at the Trichotillomania Learning Center Annual Conference in Dallas for those who suffer Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors. The conference was filled with a beautiful group people who struggle with hair pulling and skin picking, two disorders that are grossly misunderstood and stigmatized in our culture.   What struck me over the long weekend was the incredible love between the attendees. There were tears and laughter and hugs and love shared between so many people from all over the world. On the last day, I could see that most of the tears were coming from the fact that they most would leave their conference family, where they were accepted, and return back to their lives, where they feel so alone and were no longer fully understood. I share this meditation in hope to create or continue an experience of love that that I felt so strongly during such a beautiful gathering. It