The Terri Cole Show

Does finding the right therapist feel overwhelming? Are you worried you might end up with the wrong therapist or a therapist you don’t click with? Or have you had bad experiences with therapists in the past? If you want to try therapy but don’t know how to find a good fit, this episode is for you. I am sharing a four-step process to find the right therapist because you deserve to get the help you need. ❤️  (If you are in urgent need of help, please refer to this page for free mental health resources, hotlines, and online chats.) Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/626

I am so excited to welcome world-renowned health expert on female-centric healthcare, Dr. Stephanie Estima, to the show! We're talking all about optimal health and hormones, discussing the changes we typically see as we move into perimenopause and menopause, and finding out how we can navigate them.  Dr. Stephanie also shares her philosophy on health and wellness as a healthcare provider, how we might want to think about second opinions, and why perimenopause is something to be celebrated.  I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/625

What does living your best life look like for you? How would you spend your time? What habits would you have or not have? What's stopping you from living this version of yourself? There are many reasons, conscious and unconscious, that we stay stuck in unhealthy, limiting, or unsatisfying behaviors.  In this episode, I break down some of those reasons and share questions you can use to identify where you might be self-sabotaging and why. With this awareness, you can make different choices and begin living your ideal life. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/624

I am so happy to welcome author and wellness expert, Yasmine Cheyenne, back on the show to talk about her new book, Wisdom of the Path: The Beautiful and Bumpy Ride to Healing and Trusting Our Inner Guide. Yasmine shares her inspiration for writing this book (something I think many of you will relate to!), and we also talk about our creative practices, self-care (as recovering perfectionists), and so much more.  What I love about Yasmine's teachings is that she's focused on making healing easily accessible. I hope you enjoy this conversation with her as much as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/623

How do you feel about aging? Are you afraid of getting older, or are you embracing it? Do you struggle with how your body is changing? I’ve spent the last ten years exploring my feelings and thoughts on aging both in and out of therapy, and in this episode, I’m sharing those thoughts and reflections with you. I’ll talk about how I practice self-acceptance and compassion and share my best tips on how you can take care of your future self. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/622

Do you ever feel like at some point, you lost your sense of self? That’s what my pal, acclaimed grief educator and bestselling author, Christina Rasmussen, is back on the show to talk about. She just published her newest book, Invisible Loss: Recognizing and Healing the Unacknowledged Heartbreak of Everyday Grief. Christina describes invisible loss as unacknowledged and unvalidated. She says it comes from "a moment of impact, an emotional punch, when we feel rejected, disregarded, thrown away, isolated." It is a phantom loss, one we cannot even see within ourselves.  In this conversation, Christina takes us through the process of identifying these losses and how to work through them, because almost everyone struggles with invisible loss at least once in their lives.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Read the show notes at terricole.com/621

Are you the go-to person for your friends, colleagues, and family? Do you over-give, over-function, over-feel, or put other people’s needs above your own? Do you sometimes say “yes” when you want to say “no” to avoid conflict? Or are you in the healing arts? I know many of you are natural-born healers who struggle to balance it all without burning out. I’ve been there, too. In this episode, I share how being a healer impacts our ability to have healthy boundaries and how to identify if you’re a high-functioning codependent (many healers are!). Raising your awareness around these behaviors will help you avoid burning out. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/620

I am so happy to welcome back a frequent guest of the show, Ross Rosenberg. Ross is an expert on narcissism and codependency, and he's here to tell us about his amazing new book, Codependency Revolution: Fixing What Was Already Broken, which also helps raise awareness around what codependency actually is, why codependents tend to end up with narcissists, and what you can do about it.  One brilliant takeaway: codependency is an addiction.  I always enjoy talking with Ross because he speaks from personal and professional experience, and he brings new observations and thoughts from the field into the fold.  What he offers is hope, something many of those in these toxic relationships need, so I hope you enjoy what Ross shares with us as much as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/619

Do you ever stand in the card aisle around Father’s Day, endlessly searching for a card that doesn’t exist because none of the cards on the shelf accurately describe your relationship with your father? This used to be me.  Growing up, all the cards I saw said, You’re the most amazing father ever! You were always there for me! You did everything right! None of these messages felt right. They didn’t capture my feelings toward or my reality with my father. If Father’s Day is painful for you, you’re not alone. There are ways you can grieve, mourn, and honor the complex emotions this day evokes, which I share in this episode. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/618

I am so excited to have fellow therapist Todd Baratz on the show to talk about his new book, How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind: Forget the Fairy Tale and Get Real. You might know Todd on Instagram as @yourdiagnonsense, which is how I came across his amazing work.  Todd wrote this book for anyone feeling stuck in their relationship, and it was inspired by his own relationship struggles. As we mention in the interview, just because we're therapists doesn't mean we have it all figured out! We cover a range of topics, from what inspired Todd to write this book and become a therapist specializing in sex, to the importance of differentiation in long-term relationships and intergenerational trauma.  I hope you enjoy this therapist jam as much as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/617

Do you think father wounds are obvious? That you can only have a father wound if you had a ‘difficult’ father? Or do you think successful women can’t have father wounds? There is a lot of misinformation about the father wound online, from what causes one to how it impacts us.  In this episode, I set the record straight by sharing the top six father wound myths I’ve encountered and the truth behind each. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/616

I am so excited to welcome my new pal and expert on narcissism, Dr. Les Carter (known as Dr. C) to the show to talk about the traits of narcissists.  Dr. C walks us through the 8 questions narcissists can't answer and why, and it is incredibly illuminating. We talk about the inability of narcissists to be vulnerable, respect differences, manage conflict healthily, consider other opinions, and their need to be in control.  Dr. C also shares his definition of narcissism and the most common misconceptions he sees about it.  I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at http://terricole.com/615

What drives your ambition?  Are you passionate about creating something, or are you out to prove something? Or are you out to prove someone wrong?  I fell into the latter category in my twenties, unaware of how my father wound drove my career ambitions.  I was also unaware of how much my father wound was influencing the romantic partners I chose.  In this episode, I am covering how an unhealed father wound impacts our relationships, careers, and health to raise your awareness and hopefully save you years of pain, heartache, and dissatisfaction. Signup for the upcoming Father Wound course at terricole.com/fatherwound! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/614

Are you intolerant of how you actually feel? Or are you intolerant of what others believe?  My amazing guest and pal, Africa Brooke, is here to tell us how to get curious and be in the middle with her new book, The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in The Age of Intolerance, which I think is a much-needed antidote right now.  Africa shares why she believes curiosity is a dying art, how to spark more of it (especially in ourselves), and how we can begin bravely expressing ourselves in the world, one step at a time, without censorship.  Toward the end, Africa also tells us about her own experience of self-sabotage and how this led her to her current body of work.  I hope you enjoy this enlightening conversation as much as I enjoyed having it. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/613

Growing up, my mother, my sisters, and I were all afraid of him.  I didn’t think either of these things was a “big deal” until I connected the dots in therapy and realized how much I was playing out my father wound in my romantic relationships.  Many of you say you think you have a father wound. By sharing my own story, I aim to illustrate a few of the different ways it can present and impact your life. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/612

My amazing guest this week is Kara Loewentheil, a feminist lawyer-turned-life coach. She’s here to tell us how a sexist society gets in our heads and how to get it out with her new book, Take Back Your Brain.  We talk about the messages we absorb from society at a young age, how they shape our thoughts, and how we can slowly replace those thoughts with less crappy ones. If you're a high-achieving woman who feels like you need to do it all and be everything to everyone, this episode is for you. As Kara says: You can't hate yourself into liking yourself!  If this episode resonates with you, don’t forget to preorder her book, Take Back Your Brain, releasing May 21! 

Have you ever wondered if your relationship with your father or father figure is normal? Or maybe you know it wasn’t normal, but you’re not sure how it impacted you and your adult relationships. If you suspect you have a father wound, this episode is for you. We’re starting with the basics: what a father wound is, the symptoms and causes of father wounds, and why it is painful.  Healing my own father wound has had a profound impact on my life, and I can’t wait to share more about this with you over the next few episodes. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/610

I am so excited to welcome Dr. Frank Anderson, renowned trauma expert, to the show to talk about his newest book, To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation.  It's both a memoir and a beautiful exploration of healing trauma. I absolutely loved what Frank had to share about the different types of trauma, the healing process, forgiving the perpetrator, forgiving ourselves, and reclaiming our own narratives.  If you've experienced childhood trauma of any type, I think you'll get a lot out of this conversation. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  Gentle TW: there is a mention of suicide at 21:15. If this is a tender topic for you, please skip forward 20 seconds Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/609

Does Mother’s Day bring up hard feelings for you or give you anxiety? Do you find it difficult or frustrating to find a Mother’s Day card that speaks to your relationship with your mother? Is it a day you’d rather pretend doesn’t exist? If you answered “yes” to any of these, you’re in the right place. I am sharing ideas for how to honor, grieve, mourn, and celebrate on Mother’s Day, no matter what kind of relationship you have with your mother. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/608

I am so thrilled to welcome my pal Lisa Bilyeu back to the show to celebrate the paperback launch of her book, Radical Confidence: 11 Lessons on How to Get the Relationship, Career, and Life You Want.  We talk about the practical steps you can take to build confidence over time, how toxic relationships erode our confidence, and boundaries and family (specifically, the moment Lisa found out her dad disapproved of her marriage plans).  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/607