Red State Update

Jackie and Dunlap discuss April Fool's Day, Russell Crowe movies, and their PTL Clip of the Week, Mickey Rooney on the PTL Club:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7UmP_5xfwg (Go to 35 minutes in for the angel busboy story).  Sponsored (again) by Hosewater ("One Sip Keeps It Simple") and Master of Disguise Dom Podge's Tax Whiz.  

Jackie & Dunlap on Fred Phelps' death, Col. Sanders' 1979 PTL Club appearance, and Fred Thompson's Twitter, which causes them to have a laughing fit/mental breakdown and end the podcast early. Thanks, Fred Thompson's Twitter! Here's Col. Sanders on the PTL Club with Jim Bakker in 1979, talking about enemas: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttdTGPQer-o Sponsored by Hosewater ("One Sip Keeps It Simple") and Dom Podge's Tax Whiz ("Fly Your American Flag Upside Down In Your Yard and He Will Contact You Somehow").  

Jackie and Dunlap never really get to the Malaysian plane or any other news this week. Talking about the San Francisco radio station playing "YMCA" for days straight sets them down a path that includes the Johnny Carson sex tape, video store porn rooms, Hank Snow, goats, going to the bathroom, Urban Cowboy, church, the internet, and John Wayne. Brought to you by The Cobbler Gobbler, but not the cobbler place run by that mean SOB that has the best cobbler in the world but we don't want to mention his name on here. Also brought to you by Longhorns Dance Parlour.

Jackie and Dunlap speak at the Southern White Male Outreach panel at CPAC 2014. Topics: Putin, Palin, Rand Paul, Paul Ryan, Rick Perry, Fred Thompson, Ann Coulter, Newt & Callista Gingrich, Dr. Ben Carson, Bachmann, Ted Cruz, Mitch McConnell, Tom Coburn, Chris Christie, Bobby Jindal, Rubio, guns, straw polls, the Rock, Coley's Snack Foods, and Dr. Birdman and Hurt Bird. Sponsored by Skunky's (formerly Little Helen's) ("Can You Smell What Skunky's Is Doing?") and Pre-Greeters.

Sarah Palin Was Right! Russia Rolls Eyes At Obama As Putin Crushes Democracy! Also, somebody tell us who the fascists are, because there are so many of them? Also, we don't really start talking about the news until 50 minues in. Sponsored by Dr. Birdman (Hurt Bird okay, some of Hurt Birds 3-11 doing all right, monkey's better too) and Wet Breads (Juicy Pizza coming soon!) Also there's a lot of talk about the mean guy who runs the cobbler place, and Moonshine by MooPaul From Down In The Holler. Plus more sirens courtesy of Longhornz Dance Parlour or Dancin Parlour or Dance Is Parlour. You should probably listen to Tullahoma Dancing Pizza Man by Eddie Rabbitt to get you in the mood: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_jp75P0Wjk  

Bonus episode for ya this week-- the second edition of our Sponsors All Sponsors series.  Contains the sponsors from Episodes 25 - 34, all collected in one podcast so you can refresh your memory re: Tee Tee Slott lore, impress new listeners with the beginnings of the Little Helen's saga, or just settle in for two and a half hours of yelling about prostitutes and wet bread.  Episode 25: Coley's Cat Food, Mirabella Gennessey Episode 26: Dom Podge's Tax Whiz, Little Helen's Episode 27: Dom Podge's Tax Whiz Episode 28: Wizardbeard's,  Wet Breads Episode 29: Coley's Christian Cinemas, Wet Breads Episode 30: Wet Breads' Lunch Tank, Tee Tee Slott Episode 31: Coley's Christian Cinemas, The Glory Shelf (plus Jickie's and Jockie's) Episode 32: Little Helen's, The Big House Episode 33: Coley's Christian Cinemas ("Rascal the Praying Mule"), Miz Mary's Butter Dump Episode 34: Coley's Christian Cinemas ("A Full Heart"), Dom Podge's Tax Whiz   Check out Episode 23 for the first edition of Sponsors All Sponsors, and check ba

Why do Arizona bakers hate Gays so much? Why do we demand apologies from people who don't mean them? Why do we not understand the Ukraine stuff yet? Who makes the best cobbler in Murfreesboro and why are they so mean? And who was the forgotten Whistling Cowboy of Jackie's youth? These are all good questions, and we answer some of them. Sponsored by Dr. Birdman ("Hurt Bird 2 RIP, but come see Original Hurt Bird and Hurt Birds 3-11") and Pregreeters ("Greeters, We Callin' You Out.")

Listeners like YOU call the shots on this week's podcast, as Jackie and Dunlap turn to Facebook and Twitter fans to tell 'em what to talk about. They wind up musin' on leprechauns, the Olympics, Hilary, NASCAR, Petty vs. Danica, snake handlers, the weather, Bill Nye, Marsha Blackburn, Climate Change, bow ties, Republicans, Democrats, Krakens, Funny Donkey, Jackie Chamoun, Lindsey Vonn, Russians, Costas, eyeballs, Obamacare, Jesus, Green Lantern, fish, snow cream, Michael Dunn, loud music, Charlie Sheen, porn stars, Stalin, pulled pork, Trading Places, Huckabee, Romney, tree-climbing crocodiles, racism, sexism, murder, mustaches, hot Russian curlers, and Funny Face.  Plus a brief appearance via telephone by Mr. Slaw. Sponsored by Dr. Birdman's Hurt Bird and Hurt Bird II, and Pre-Greeters. Sirens brought to you by Longhornz Dance Parlour. 

Jackie and Dunlap on the George Zimmerman vs. DMX boxing match, the Bill Nye vs. Ken Ham creationism debate, newly recognized federal legal rights for gay married couples, and the Danish zoo giraffe killing.  Sponsored by Greeters and Coley's Christian Cinemas new Valentines Day film, 3 Kisses for Elizabeth, featuring a cameo by Rick Santorum as "Sneaky Preacher."

Do your part to make sure that Hurt Bird (aka Dr. Birdman's New Year's Eve Bird) makes it to another New Year's Eve by taking advantage of generous deals from sponsors Snakeheads, Coley's Christian Cinemas, Jim Beavers Who Works For Comcast Cable, Gun Sonic, Skunky's (formerly Little Helen's), Murfreesboro Museum, Johnny Greenstreet's Get Out, and Wet Breads. Some proceeds go to help Hurt Bird.Thanks to http://tabletcertified.com for sponsoring us this month. Check 'em out and tell 'em Jackie & Dunlap sent you.

Here's Jackie and Dunlap talking over Man of Steel for nearly three hours.  Sponsored by tabletcertified.com. Which apps are worth a durn? Visit tabletcertified.com and find out. Tell 'em Jackie & Dunlap sent ya.

Jackie and Dunlap on the 2014 Academy Award Nominations, Golden Globes, and poison water. Sponsored by Dr. Birdman and Hurt Bird, and Tee Tee Slott's SlottWater. Also sponsored by tabletcertified.com. Is this app worth a durn? Visit tabletcertified.com and find out. Tell 'em Jackie & Dunlap sent ya.

Jackie & Dunlap on Gates' book, Joe Biden Day at the White House, Chris Christie and the bridge scandal, the War on Poverty, Promise Zones, Satanist statues in Oklahoma, Texas millionaires hunting Rhinos, and Colorado pot shortages. Sponsored by tabletcertified.com. Is this app worth a durn? Visit tabletcertified.com and find out. Tell 'em Jackie & Dunlap sent ya. Also sponsored by Wilma's Daddy's Pop-Up Shop Aluminum Foil Edition. Also also sponsored by Dr. Birdman's New Year's Eve Bird Hurt Real Bad Tour 2014.

Jackie and Dunlap on pot in Colorado, Obama losing Iraq, Melissa Harris Perry apologizing, and the Year of the Bible in Flower Mound, Texas. Also a little on flags, Duck Dynasty, Franklin Graham, and McMinnville. Brought to you by Dr. Bird Man ($200 reward for recapture of New Year's Bird) and Wizardbeard's (Enter To Win A Trip To Colorado in Runro's van.)

Remember 2013? Neither do Jackie and Dunlap. But that won't stop them from taking a look back at what united us, what divided us, and what we forgot happened in the year of our Lord 2013. Brought to you by Dr. Birdman's New Year's Bird and The Murfreesboro Museum.

Unfortunately Jackie Broyles no longer works for Red State Update Inc. because of his recent bigoted, ignorant statements. So please buy up all our Red State Update merchandise to put us in our place! Support freedom of speech! And/or bigotry and ignorance. Whatever. I WANT YOUR MONEY! Merry Christmas, Dunlap Sponsored by Jim Beavers and Sleepy Hollow, and Dollar Cart ("Everybody Has Fun At Dollar Cart")

Join us this holiday season for a special gift: Merry Twismas Part Twoo, Red State Update's unauthorized sequel to Conway Twitty and Twitty Bird's classic 1983 Christmas album, Merry Twismas. Join Jackie and Original Twitty Bird as they journey to the North Pole for adventure and special guest appearances! Includes the songs Christmas Cake, I Got To Give Up Bird Things This Christmas, Forget Santa Claus For A Second, Snow Sliding Sleigh Riding Day,  and  Silent Night.  Produced by William Sherry Jr. In the second, more podcasty part of the podcast, Jackie and Dunlap reflect on funerals, selfies, Bush painitngs, handshakes, interpreters, White Santa Claus, Black Santa Claus, Megyn Kelly, and penguins. Sponsored by Santatown and Slott Nog.

Sponsored by Jackie's love of Conway Twitty's classic Christmas album, "Merry Twismas". Jackie and Dunlap on Twitty Bird, Conway Twitty, the Snow Witch, and other beloved Christmas traditions. Get the updated version, called "A Twismas Story", here-- https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/a-twismas-story/id298754993 -- but Jackie likes the old one better.

Jackie and Dunlap got on Facebook and asked listeners what they should talk about. This is what they said: College costs, the knockout game, Joe Biden's Asia trip, Black Friday, Bama vs. Auburn, duck hunting, Charles Manson's wife, Jickey, Jockie, hunger strikes, Chattanooga, World AIDS Day, Hillary, Tee Tee Slott, Rob Ford, Kleargear, Alzheimer's shooting, Walking Dead, Dr. Who, Paul Walker, Little Helen's, Jackie's Christmas present from Dunlap, upcoming government shutdown, Sydney Leathers' labia, disrespect of musicians, Jackie's truck, Michael Durham, mullets, Rosa parks, Paul Crouch, Come ISON, BIg Helen's, poor work ethic for people under 30, George Jones, and weed. Sponsored by Miss Phillips' Kitty Pillows and Sam Craisin's Good Neighbor.

Jackie & Dunlap on Sarah Palin, Martin Bashir, Iran, Thanksgiving, Christmas, the Kennedy assassination, and the riveting story of Mr. Horsepants the Horse. Sponsored by Wet Bread's and Miss Phillips' Kitty Pillows.