Conversations With Cinthia

Cinthia's week-long exploration of fear continues.  Risk and value go together -- We take risks for what we value.  But what if we've already missed it?  What if we have neglected to take appropriate risks, or taken inappropriate ones, and suffered loss?  Cinthia answers that we remember, we learn, we share, and we use hindsight for its intended purposes only.

What constitutes a healthy risk?  Cinthia explores how to make sure the risks you take fit with your value system, beginning with the need to let go of our past successes and failures so that our current decisions aren't all about repeating the past.

What risk do you know you need to take, and what gets in the way? Cinthia asserts that God can handle our mistakes and wants us to live with courage, finding ourselves in Him and trusting Him out on the edge.

The word "values" can bring up all kinds of images, feelings, political and religious ideas, etc.  Are your values defined?  Growing?  Cinthia explains that our value systems are like psychological and spiritual structures for our psyches, much like the frameworks of houses.  What are the values that are part of you, and how do they affect your happiness?

Today, Cinthia continues looking at habits that can impact our happiness.  These include being unwilling to take risks, over-censoring ourselves to the point of inauthenticity, living not to fail, neglecting constructive action, filling time with busy-work, assuming that problems will not happen, and living on auto-pilot.  If these sound reasonable but also easier-acknowledged-than-changed, get Cinthia's always-helpful and unique perspective on each of these and find yourself a place to start.

If you've been listening to this series, you've probably already identified some habits you can address to improve your own happiness.  Keep listening, though, because today we have more to consider!  How can you deal with working a job you hate if your bills and responsibilities seem to require it, at least for now?  How can we be positively open-minded and discerning at the same time?  What about mainstream media: is it making you happier and healthier, or do you need some parameters around its influence over you?  Can you accept limitations, or are you living at a pace that outstrips your peace?

Today's show continues the look at habits that enhance our happiness.  With whom do you spend the bulk of your time?  How carefully do you evaluate your own thinking and self-talk?  What assumptions do you make about your own value?  Do you have a sense of your own calling?  Do you perform your occupation solely for the paycheck?  These things can powerfully influence our happiness levels.

A week was not enough to look at something as big as happiness, so this week continues the exploration.  Cinthia continues today by looking at happiness habits related to living in a body, balancing risk, assuming more time on earth than we have, grasping the past, and trying to be perfect.

Isn't it amazing how many ways humans have of sabotaging our own happiness?  Today we add some positive habits to the things we're letting go, like replacing endless complaining with two minutes of venting, followed by focusing on gratitude, or focusing on caring for our bodies instead of hating them.  Also, if you struggle with self-hatred, this episode includes some crucial thoughts on the topic.

Cinthia continues looking at things we may need to release in order to embrace happiness.  Today, Cinthia looks at releasing our rights to a critical spirit (not the same as critical thinking), resistance to change, unhelpful labels, excuses, and other hang-ups that can sabotage happiness.

How much would you pay to be truly happy?  Everything you have?  A portion?  What if what you had to give up for happiness wasn't money, but something less tangible... like being right or being in control?  Cinthia explores things we may need to release in order to embrace happiness.

Maybe you understand the facts in the last episode regarding smiling and the brain-body connection.  But how do we smile when we are genuinely distressed?  Does smiling really help?  Cinthia discusses how to begin integrating joy into our lives.

We all want to be happy, so why don't we experience more happiness?  Is happiness determined by circumstances, genetics, actions, choice?  Cinthia shares fascinating research and insights on the role we play in our happiness and who has the potential to be happy.  Anyone struggling with clinical depression will appreciate that Cinthia's approach offers hope but does not include the assumption that happiness is easy for everyone.  Also, did you know smiling affects your brain and body chemistry?  

An old hymn celebrates, "What a Friend we have in Jesus!"  Through Jesus, we enjoy the friendship of God, and we are called His friends.  Cinthia explains that this friendship with God is the fountain from which we learn to be a friend to ourselves and others.  Self-care is a good thing when it flows from our friendship with God, and it enables us to love others well.  But starting with efforts at self-love in hopes of then extending that love to God and others rarely has the outcome we desire.  Consider with Cinthia how to start with the Love that is perfect and model your relationships with self and others after His relationship style.

What is it like to have you for a friend?  Is it possible that you sometimes devalue your friends without meaning to do so or even being aware that it's happening?  Sometimes it's really not them; sometimes it's us.  Explore with Cinthia whether you could make life with you a better experience for the people you call your friends.

Did you know that just having your phone on the table can lower the level of intimacy you have with the person or people in the room?  Sometimes we are not aware of the ways we hinder our friendships, or ways we could make them stronger.  Friends are sometimes closer than family, but friendships like that require time, presence, participation, and courage.  Cinthia explores attitudes and behaviors that support or sabotage true friendship.  

It's healthy to have different levels of intimacy with different people in our lives, and we can be kind to others regardless of how they treat us.  But what do we give and expect to receive in close friendships, as with a "best friend?"  Different kinds of relationships require different boundaries and different kinds of love.  Cinthia explores the kind of Friend we have in God and the kind of friend he calls us to be to Him and to others.

How healthy are your friendships?  Cinthia explains that the first step to forming healthier friendships is to be a good friend.  If you haven't thought about that since your Sesame Street days, it's time to re-examine what defines friendship and whether you are a good friend.  If you, like so many of us, are grateful for Cinthia's wisdom regarding romantic and family relationships, don't miss Cinthia's exploration of the kind of love God intends us to have for our friends.  There's another implication to this, as well: God calls us His friends.  How can we be better friends to Him and to others?

You may have heard that Russia has recently passed very restrictive laws against evangelism.  But people there are still hungry for Jesus, and the Church is still alive!  Sergey Rakhuba discusses how Christians in Russia are now using church buildings as viewing centers for the World Cup, inviting friends, neighbors, and the general public to experience church buildings and the Church itself in a positive context.  As President of Mission Eurasia, Pastor Sergey describes the excitement many Russian Christians feel about the opportunity to cultivate relationships and "Kingdom conversations" in this context.  He reports plans to distribute 600,000 copies of Scripture and to reach 3,000,000 people with the Gospel.

Our culture tends toward tolerating negative behavior but not tolerating negative feelings.  Cinthia explains that emotional adulthood actually involves the opposite.  She explores the boundaries that make this possible.  Cinthia also explains that complaining, whether mentally or aloud, often seems as if it will make us feel better; in reality, though, it tends to make us feel worse, with negative thoughts seeming to reproduce themselves exponentially as we complain.  Cinthia encourages us to work on rephrasing our thoughts and comments in ways that help us express our feelings without creating more pain for ourselves.