Dr Karin Love & Life

After 21 years of dating, serial monogamy, breakups, and periods of feeling miserably alone, Leslie Kaz was over it! Tired of what she calls “The Endless Search” for a man, Leslie decided to take a 6 month break from dating. During those 6 months, Leslie completely redefined herself and her life—so much so, that she abandoned “The Endless Search” and stepped into a brand new way of living! She shares her philosophy in her book, Single Girl Bliss: How to Stop Feeling Alone and Start Feeling Alive. In our conversation, Leslie and I talk about: · The lies we tell ourselves that make us miserable—and how to tackle them! · What it means to be alone—and how to manage it emotionally. · How to choose a partner (should you decide to choose one) from a position of strength! · What saved her in her darkest hour (I promise, you’ll never guess what it was!) · The power of how we present ourselves—and our single life—to others. · How to create new, empowering—and TRUE—beliefs about being single. When I came across Leslie’s

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week and to celebrate, I’m sharing the first chapter of my book, Single is the New Black:  Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right! One of the main myths singles hear is that they’re somehow fundamentally flawed and that’s why they haven’t met their person—if they’d just “fix themselves” already, true love would finally come their way. Yeah, right. I take issue with this bogus assumption and much more in my book and I share the first chapter with you here as a way to kick off a week devoted to singles. Let’s thrive during our single season! My book is here to help! Stay tuned throughout the week for more bonus episodes and giveaways! Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

Women without children walk the road less traveled—and for the vast majority of them, this path was not of their choosing. In fact, of the women who reach midlife without children, only 10% planned to be  “child free”, while 10% are childless due to infertility, and a full 80% are childless not by choice but rather, due to circumstances. Jody Day of Gateway Women shares her personal journey and discusses the many layers of disenfranchised grief surrounding childlessness. Specifically, we cover: ·        Second wave feminism and the unintended consequence of circumstantial childlessness. ·        The emotional, physical, and financial complexities of IVF—the real stats. ·        Jody’s thoughts on how to respond to the, “Oh, you would have made such a great mom!” comments. ·        When the term “biological clock” first appeared in the discourse. ·    &

In this Love & Life Q&A episode, I answer the following questions: 1. “Jessica” really wants to remain friends with her ex. This breakup is even harder than most because they trauma bonded throughout 2020 when she turned 40 and also lost her father. Is it possible they could actually remain friends? 2. “Danielle” hasn’t spoken to her ex for over a year but she still thinks about him. She knows she needs to move on but like most of us, she absolutely HATES dating apps. Is there anything she can do? I share therapeutic strategies for how to get over heartbreak by moving through and moving on. Dr. Karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes -------------------------------------------------------- Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

“We’ll be besties forever!” “No matter what happens, we’ll stay close.” “You’re my BFF and nothing will change that!” We said it. We meant it. But life happens, and it gets in the way of even the closest friendship. And sometimes it hurts—a lot. But we CAN remain close—as we talked about in last week’s episode—by examining our expectations. My BFF, Miriam Conner, joins me to share her philosophy on friendship—the “No Pressure” friendship. Specifically, we delve into: How to maintain strong friendships while also adjusting our expectations as our priorities shift. What developmental psych research on preschoolers and empathy can teach us about adult friendships! Three options for how to respond when a friend disappoints us. Personal stories of when we both found ourselves needing to cut friends out of our lives. How to handle it when a friend cancels plans at the last minute. What to do when a friend changes dramatically. How to politely disengage from a friend who has unreasonable expectations. The parallels

When asked what we treasure most, people readily respond with one word—relationships. Our friends, family, and romantic partners enrich our lives in myriad ways, providing encouragement, support, affection, and joy. Except when they don’t. When our relationships are in crisis, our life is in crisis and when they’re thriving, we thrive. As Tony Robbins puts it, “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” So, why is it such a struggle to maintain healthy and fulfilling intimacy in our lives? Great question! And, today’s episode provides answers! Join me to learn three research-based hacks to improve EVERY relationship in your life—your connection to friends, family, and significant others! Citations: Hawkley, L.C., Thisted, R.A., Masi, C.M., & Cacioppo, J.T. (2010). Loneliness predicts increased blood pressure:  5-year cross-lagged analyses in middle-aged and older adults. Psychology and Aging, 25(1), 132-141. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T., & Layton, B. (2010). Social relationsh

It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A episode! We have three questions to tackle today. 1. One listener wants to know how to ask a guy out. She lives in Ireland and finds Irish men are often hesitant to take the lead. Can she ask him out while still dating empowered? 2. A second listener struggles to find the motivation to date after a year of lockdowns and Covid malaise. But she’s in her late 30s and worries about her biological clock. Why is it such a struggle? What can she do to motivate herself? 3. A third listener wonders how to let guys know she’s interested—she’s been told she’s too closed off and appears aloof in the early stages of dating. So in her last relationship, she tried to be open, honest, and vulnerable, but she got ghosted anyway! She now regrets it because looking back she felt much “schmoopier” with this guy—which wasn’t comfortable for her. How can she express interest while still dating empowered? Join us for a deep dive into these common—and frustrating—dating dilemmas! Citati

Sometimes, if we’ve been single for a while—or longer than a while—we begin to doubt ourselves. We wonder why love seems so hard to find. Are we doing something wrong? Is there a particular quality we’re missing? What are men looking for anyway? Well, here’s the good news. You have exactly what your person is looking for! I promise. And, it’s not just my opinion, it’s what science says! Psychologist David Buss studied men and women in 37 different cultures/countries and found that both sexes desire the same four qualities in their spouses. Join me for an empowering and confidence boosting episode—you have everything you need to attract your person to you! References: Buss, D. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences:  Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 12, 1-14. Welch, D. (2015). Love factually:  10 proven steps from I wish to I do. Love Science Media. Sponsor: Therappy App Download the app here: https://therappy.onelink.me/mNmu/92326bf9 Dr. Kar

On Love & Life we talk about beliefs all the time—because they’re incredibly powerful and they impact every area of our lives—especially our love life. What we believe about ourselves and what we believe we have to offer a partner sets the tone we bring to our dating efforts and experiences. And sometimes, we hold beliefs that assert influence over us, but we don’t even know we hold these beliefs! On today’s episode, psychotherapist turned dating coach, Melanie Hersch, and I explore how we can harness our beliefs and level up our mindset for empowered dating! Join us to learn how to: reprogram limiting beliefs about our self-worth. identify the stories we tell ourselves—which may, in fact, be lies! be vulnerable without providing too much information too soon! recognize when we’re triggered so as not to blame and shame our partner. establish boundaries early on when dating—boundaries which establish precedents for how you desire to be treated throughout the relationship. Incorporating her psyc

Sexless in the city? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms? In our hyper-sexualized culture, it appears everyone is hooking up without concern—giving no thought whatsoever to the impact casual encounters have on our soul and psyche. But this perception may not be the reality—it certainly isn’t for blogger and author Kat Harris. Kat has thought deeply about sex—its place in her life as a Christian, single woman and its role in society in general. Kat talks about her new book, Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex. Specifically, we delve into: The vastly different expectations we have of men and women when it comes to managing our sex drive. The trending and controversial topic of “modest is hottest.” How casual sex “flattens” our humanity. The “friend zone” and what we sometimes do to get ourselves stuck there. Daddy issues and attraction to unavailable men. Join us for—as the book’s title promises—a sometimes sassy, sometimes painful, an

I’ve rolled out a few reels over the last couple months talking about cultivating an empowered mindset for empowered dating! But unfortunately, for some of you watching overseas, the audio won’t play when music is placed behind the vocal track (perhaps it’s a licensing issue in some countries?) When I learned some of you weren’t able to hear the audio, I figured the best way to work around this problem would be to share the reels via a podcast episode. So, here it is! Let me know your favorite reels and if you have any topics you’d like me to address—via reels or in a Love Smarter, Not Harder IGTV—please head over to my website to let me know how I can be of help! Sponsor: Millionaire Match Download the free app here: https://app.appsflyer.com/id1484587490?pid=af3236943 Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

Tausha Pearson would tell you, “It all started with a ‘crazy’ single mom tax return…” “Crazy” meaning—she had a chunk of money she didn’t need. So, she took that tax return and spent it on a trip to Haiti. While touring Haitian orphanages with 11 social work interns, Tausha learned 80% of the orphans had families who desperately wanted them home but couldn’t afford to feed and educate them. In addition to this sad reality, she discovered rampant sexual abuse occurring in every orphanage they visited. Tausha couldn’t unsee this devastation; she took action by creating Haiti Mama—an organization devoted to providing parents with services and employment to help families remain intact. Tausha is a disrupter—she disrupted ineffective (and abusive!) child welfare practices and implemented support to reunite Haitian families! Join us to hear Tausha’s inspiring story and learn how you can be a part of the Haiti Mama mission! Tausha Pearson Website: http://www.haitimama.org/  Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandli

Have you heard? You can now listen to my book, Single is the New Black:  Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right! It’s available on Audible and iTunes! To celebrate the release of the audio version, I wanted to provide a chapter as a podcast episode so you could get a feel for the book and what it’s all about. It’s essentially the book I wish had been available to me when I was still single and, as a matter of fact, I started writing it when I was still single. I was so tired of reading self-help books that made me feel worse about myself—books that tried to convince me I was doing something horribly wrong or I that I was fundamentally flawed and that’s why I was still single.  So, like I said, I wrote the book I couldn’t find but wanted to read! (I go into more depth and share the backstory of why I wrote the book in ep. 90 so if that interests you, please check out that episode.) I wasn’t sure which chapter to share and I considered chapter 3 because when I was single, people often told me I was too pick

If you’ve dated a passive man or TRIED to date a passive man—because he never got around to asking you out—this episode is for you! As empowered women, we’ve been raised to take charge and take action, but does that work for us when dating? Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson is back to share his thoughts on male passivity—what it’s about and how to handle it! Elliott and I discuss: Why women who’ve experienced mother wounds may be more likely to be attracted to passive men. The definition of interdependence and how it’s VERY different from codependence. Why most women would rather know their man’s heart and disagree with his thoughts than not know him and feel alienated from him. What Elliott has learned after working with hundreds of men. Spoiler alert:  NONE of these passive men have been okay with their passivity. They’ve always loathed that part of their personality. Why letting a man choose you helps us stop choosing passive men. How to be a cheerleader for your man without running things and t

Lisa Cleary went through a bad breakup at age 31. In addition to grieving the demise of her relationship, she lost her job and ended up homeless. She slept on friends’ sofas for months. She felt defeated and demoralized—this was not where she expected to be at 31. And while her life unraveled, her friends’ lives seemed to play out perfectly. Lisa got knocked down hard, but through her pain and struggle, she developed grit and perspective. She shares her experience in her book, How to Survive a Breakup:  When All of Your Friends Are Birthing Their Second Child, and she joins us to discuss the question, “Can anything good come from a bad breakup?” Specifically she delves into: Toxic Milestones:  the tendency for women to berate themselves if they’re “missing the mark” How she felt the need to “prove her worth” with the perfect relationship and high-powered job The problem with being a Type A personality when dating Trying to make a relationship something it isn’t meant to be The beauty in honori

In this Love & Life Q&A episode, I answer 3 questions: 1. How can I tell if the attraction I feel for someone is healthy?  What if the “sparks” are a result of a trauma bond or anxious attachment style? 2. How can I address the topic of a pre-nup with my fiancé? He has a son and I’m currently taking care of us financially because he’s in school. I just want to be sure I’m taking care of my finances as we move forward. 3. Do women need to “signal” to other women that they’re in a relationship? I see many women “flexing” to let others know their man is “off limits.” I’m personally not into this. But, if I’m with a guy, will he want to see me posture in this manner to let to other women know he belongs to me? Join us to hear my thoughts on these questions! Dr. Karin Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

We say it every week on Love & Life, “Take charge of your thoughts! Take charge of your life!” And what better way to do so than by taking a deep dive into female brain chemistry! Thanks to Dr. Tracy Alloway’s new book, Think Like a Girl: 10 Unique Strengths of a Woman’s Brain and How to Make Them Work for You, we now have a comprehensive resource for harnessing our female brain and appreciating its superpowers! Join us to discuss: What you need to know about your female brain if you’re in leadership—or hope to be someday! How a bucket of ice can help with rational decision making! The ONE main quality to look for in potential romantic partners (it predicts successful, happy, lasting relationships!) How to be attracted to people who are GOOD for us! Attachment styles in dating—you’ll be surprised what you’ll learn about attachment and men! Oxytocin and bonding—what you need to know to cultivate and nurture your partnership/marriage! The research on how to remain madly in love! The differences b

In last week’s episode Dan and I answered your questions—many of which surrounded the beginning of our relationship. We noted we started dating in late August and Dan asked me to be exclusive in early January—about 4 ½ months. Much to my surprise, I received a lot of feedback from you with comments like, “How did you wait so long?” “Wasn’t it hard knowing he was dating other people? I’d be so jealous!” “I have Anxious Attachment—I couldn’t handle a relationship being undefined for so long!” Obviously, I felt comfortable with the pace of our relationship but many of you (65% according to my Insta poll) felt differently. Your responses got me thinking—about my history of taking things slowly, the science substantiating this approach, and also, about how slowing our roll can serve as our best defense against love bombing! Dr. Karin Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

Recently, I posted a poll on Instagram asking if you had any questions or topics you wanted Dan and me to discuss on the program. You had a LOT to say and today we respond to you questions and concerns in an episode devoted to how to have a GREAT relationship. Specifically, we cover: What do men worry about when dating? What were Dan’s concerns? Do men really change for a woman if she’s The One? How dating in your late 30s/early 40s differs from dating earlier in life. How Dan and I met (for more on this, check out episode 46). How our relationship progressed—did we date other people while dating each other?  Did we know we were dating other people? Were we jealous about these other relationships? Why we decided to choose to be exclusive with each other (for more on this, check out episode 89). We received so many questions, we decided to make this a two-part series. Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com Instagram: @dr.karin

There’s still a bit of mystery—and sometimes, stigma—surrounding psychotherapy, so I’m starting an occasional series called, “Let’s Talk Therapy!”  In these episodes we’ll pull back the curtain and provide the inside scoop on what counseling is all about! Today, Eli Weinstein, LCSW, shares his professional and personal journey as a social worker and therapist. Join us as we discuss: The lingering stigma surrounding mental health. The “dream” of treating emotional health with the same frequency as our physical health. Why saying “I’m having a panic attack!” when you’re actually just nervous, is problematic for ourselves and others. The relationship between your health insurance provider and therapist. What therapists can do to see their clients more objectively. What YOU can do to be sure you pick the right counselor for you! We wrap up with Eli’s philosophy on dating, relationships, and marriage—some of our fav Love & Life topics! Eli Weinstein, LCSW Website: https://www.elivation.org/ Dr.