Dr Karin Love & Life

In this second part of our recent Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I continue our conversation on how to cultivate deep, authentic, emotionally healthy intimacy. Specifically, we tackle the following: 10 Warning Signs in Relationships. 10 Environmental Contexts and Concerns. 10 Family of Origin Dynamics to Observe and Discuss. 4 Non-negotiable Dealbreakers! Yes, love is a mystery, but we can take some of the confusion out of it by keeping our head in the game! Elliott—along with his over 30 years of experience working with couples—is here to help! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

It’s time for another Love & Life Live! Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson invited me to join him at Judson University last week in his Interpersonal Relationships class. In part 1 of the live, we delve into: The characteristics of authentic intimate relationships. The characteristics of intimate conversations. Healthy, appropriate pacing in friendship development. The characteristics of long-term romantic relationships. The weaknesses in connection that create relationship uncertainty. Find out if your relationship has what it takes to go the distance in part 1 of our latest Love & Life Live!  Elliott Anderson  Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson  Dr. Karin  Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/  Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook  Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black:  Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible  iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Kara and I are back with an Instagram Live to talk about how to date empowered! In today’s live we cover these realities and MORE! Why you shouldn’t ask a man, “What are we? Where is this going?” Why the men you don’t like seem to always pursue you! The difference between red flags and deal breakers. Why emotional maturity is the goal—we bring it to the table when we’re dating and we have every right to expect it! How traditional masculine/feminine dynamics empower WOMEN! Join us to learn how to stop giving away your power in dating and relationships! Kara Adams Website: https://www.thefabkara.com/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

If you’ve ever wondered if you have “daddy issues” or been curious as to how your relationship with your father influences the men you choose and the dynamics you experience in relationships, this episode is for you!  Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into how father wounds show up in our romantic relationships—and most importantly, how we can heal these wounds so as to avoid repeating painful patterns.  Elliott and I discuss: The two main ways father wounds play out with the couples Elliott counsels. How psychotherapy can heal a father wound in unique and profound ways. The importance of forgiving our fathers. The tension between being drawn to someone who’s good for us vs. feeling like we’re settling. Why dating a “fixer upper” never works! Elliott also talks about his new book, Simon Says: Principles and Perspectives from Dr. Simon V. Anderson.  Simon Says shares the abundant wisdom of our father and the profound and enduring impact he had on his children and co

Elliott is back to answer your questions about cultivating healthy, happy relationships! We address the following questions you posed on Instagram: 1.     Which is more important—personality or looks? 2.     You two make me happy. What are your signs? 3.     Are you twins? 4.     I just started a new relationship. What are some of the things we can do to know if this is it? Neither of us has been in a relationship this healthy before. Join us to hear our thoughts on these questions. Also, Elliott goes into depth regarding our sibling bond—including the contentious years! https://www.loveandlifemedia.com/podcast/episode/25f6a348/how-to-build-deep-romantic-intimacy-love-and-life-live-at-judson-university-with-elliott-anderson-ma-ep-186 Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, Instagram, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Sing

Unpopular opinion:  Relationships shouldn’t be all that hard. It’s an unpopular opinion because the rhetoric around relationships is that they’re so incredibly difficult; you just gotta dig in and not give up. And yes, once we’ve committed—when we’re married, and we’ve taken vows, and there might be children involved, of course I believe in persevering and sticking with it. As we move through struggles we can—and do—deepen our intimacy. We can emerge stronger after a period of difficulty. So, this isn’t about bailing out the moment things get tough. Rather, I’m talking about the relationship phase of dating—when, as we talk about a lot on Love & Life—we’re gathering information about our partner and determining if we’re a fit. And, what often happens, and what I ended up doing myself at times—we make the mistake of committing too much in the exclusive phase. i.e. we act like we’re married when we’re not married. We keep sticking with a relationship that’s not working and try soooooo hard to make it w

We’ve all heard, “You are what you eat.” But what about, “You FEEL what you eat”? Put another way, how much of Americans’ struggle with depression and anxiety is due to our diet? To tackle this question, I’ve invited Functional Medicine Health Coach Amanda Jones to the program. In our conversation, Amanda and I take issue with the Standard American Diet and Western Medicine’s conventional approach. Specifically, we ask: Is minimizing symptoms and slowing down disease progression the best we can do? Why do we look for sustainability and root causes in various social and environmental domains, but when it comes to healthcare, we still just treat symptoms instead of discovering the origins of a problem? Why don’t we pay enough attention to drugs’ side effects? Are uncomfortable and painful symptoms actually a gift? What if a runny nose and high fever are an indication our body is healing itself and our immune system is working well? Can we really expect to heal if we make no changes to our diet and li

If you’ve been on the dating scene for a while, you’re probably weary of online and app dating. I hear the same thing when I interact with singles in my community. I get it. I wasn’t a fan myself. It was incredibly time intensive and I didn’t like the feelings that came up for me. For this reason, I devoted an entire chapter of my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, to online and app dating i.e. it’s okay—and actually, healthy!—to take a break from it from time to time. But if we hop offline, how will we ever meet people? This is exactly why Melissa New started IYKYK Dating—for those who are sick of swiping, and specifically for Christians who want to meet others who share their faith and values. Join us to learn how IYKYK Dating can come to YOUR town! Sources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201707/sick-online-dating Melissa New of IYKYK Dating Website: https://iykykdatingmixers.com/ Instagram: @iykyk.dating Dr. Karin Website:

As a scientist, physician, and attorney with over 50 years researching and publishing in top tier academic journals and presenting at conferences and conventions, Dr. Richard Fleming is uniquely positioned to critically examine the last 2 ½ years. In our conversation Dr. Richard Fleming addresses the following: The misinformation from both “sides.” Is asymptomatic transmission a thing? Vaccine efficacy—it’s likely NOT what you think! What’s the origin story of the virus? Do we have receipts? How the mass campaign put pressure on the virus which drove the variants. The science behind why those who took the shot, are now MORE likely to get sick. Research proposals and grant funding—how the NIH actually distributes funding. Dr. Fleming provides us with an enormous amount of insider information, but many, many questions remain unanswered. And, as citizens whose tax dollars pay for these government agencies, we have the right to know what actually happened with this pandemic. Please join us by headin

I wanted to wrap up our celebration of National Unmarried & Single Americans week with a fan favorite and my favorite guest, of course, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson. When I was considering what I wanted Elliott to share, I thought about all the couples he’s worked with over the years. He’s seen it all—from those who just needed some tools to get through a rough patch, to couples who could barely stand to be in the same room together, to those who’ve become violent and abusive. I wondered, What would Elliott want to say to singles to help them avoid the pain he witnesses in his office every day? What do we need to know NOW as singles, to prepare ourselves for a solid lifelong partnership> What do we need to know NOW to prevent ourselves from marrying the wrong person?” Elliott answers this question and shares 5 relationship aspects you need to know to step into a great marriage! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson  Dr. Karin Web

Have you ever wondered if fear is keeping you from love? Are you afraid of getting hurt? Afraid of being smothered? Afraid of both? Today’s episode is part 2 of my conversation with Katherine Baldwin, author of, How to Fall in Love:  A 10 Step Journey to the Heart. If you haven’t listened to part 1, please jump back to episode 205 to hear Katherine share how her anxious/avoidant attachment style caused her struggle as she tried to cultivate an intimate romantic partnership. In part 2 we discuss: How to date with courage, clarity, and confidence. The hurt that happens in relationships—and also, the healing that happens in relationships. The influence of our childlessness on our approach too dating. How our family of origin issues show up in our present-day relationships. How to discern if what we’re feeling is our fear or our intuition. We CAN move through fear and trust our intuition. Join us to hear Katherine’s inspiring journey to love! Katherine Baldwin Website: https://www.katherinebaldwin

What if being single isn’t about “waiting for The One” but rather, it’s about loving the life right in front of us? Can we be alone, but not lonely? How do we make peace with our single season? In her book, Single Shouldn’t Suck, Esther Marie asserts we CAN live life to the fullest—even when we’re single and desiring partnership. Esther joins us to celebrate National Unmarried & Single Americans Week! We discuss her book and the lessons she’s learned through her single years. Join us for a discussion around: How to romanticize our single life! Ways to embrace the here and now—through the various periods of our lives, including the times we desire partnership, as well as the times when we’re happy on our own. Honoring our journey—who we are and who we’re becoming. Challenging ourselves to get uncomfortable, take risks, and grow! Whether you’re in a single season or any other phase of life, you’ll find Esther’s story to be both encouraging and inspiring! Esther Marie Website: https://www.esthermarie.

We’ve often spoken to Attachment Styles on the podcast, but in today’s episode we’ll hear a firsthand account from British author and coach, Katherine Baldwin. Katherine married in midlife and as she’s reflected on her dating history, she recognizes her attachment style—a mix of avoidant and anxious—caused her to repeatedly sabotage relationships and walk away from them. But most importantly, in this two part series, Katherine shares how she found healing AND found her person—despite wrestling with unhealthy attachment dynamics from childhood wounds. Learn from Katherine’s vulnerable account of her many years on the dating scene. She was certainly impacted by her attachment style, but she ultimately moved through the anxiety and toward love! Katherine Baldwin Website: https://www.katherinebaldwin.com/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: sma

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week, and to kick things off, we’re bringing back Love & Life fan favorite, Dr. Duana Welch, to talk about the revised version of her classic book, Love Factually:  10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do. From the very first time I read Love Factually, it became my go-to “how to date smarter, not harder” resource, because every recommendation Dr. Welch provides is grounded in psych research. Other authors share their opinions. Dr. Welch shares the data! In this episode, Dr. Welch gets personal and recounts how she recently followed her own advice and met her fiancé online in a matter of weeks! She lets us in on the key elements of her coaching practice and discusses how she’s helped hundreds of clients find their person. Join us to learn how to date smarter with science! And, be sure to take advantage of Dr. Welch’s offer for a FREE 15 minute mini session to determine if you’d like to work with her. Dr. Duana Welch Website: http://lovefactually.co/ Dr. Kari

Breakups are hardest when the relationship is almost right. I should know—I almost married the “wrong man” (for me) because there was absolutely nothing “wrong” with him.  He was almost right.  But, is “good enough” good enough for marriage? For me, it wasn’t.  I told my runaway bride story with Ané Auret and because I’d never shared the whole story with you, I wanted to post it on Love & Life.  We’ve all faced crossroads where we had to trust our gut or take the “safe” path. I took the risk of being along forever. But when faced with “good enough” vs. living solo, my gut told me what to do. And, after years of ignoring my intuition, I finally listened.  I had to let go of safe, in order to find epic.  Ané Auret Website:  https://aneauret.com/  Beauty Products: https://beautybyane.com/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.

As most of you know, I wrote my book because I found so many self-help books for singles to be utterly UNhelpful! That being said, over the years, I did come across—thankfully!—several supportive and empowering books. In a few weeks we’ll be celebrating National Unmarried & Single Americans week so I thought we’d kick off September with a review of some of my fav books for living single. They got me through the tough times and to this day, I recommend them to anyone who asks for advice about dating, dealing with single shaming, or recovering from a breakup. I hope these books will be as helpful to you as they were to me! Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

For the last year, people have been asking me, “Have you watched Dopesick? Karin, you have to see it!” So, I subscribed to Hulu and started the series and also read the book on which the series is based. The true story is incredibly disturbing and tragic and heartbreaking. Author Beth Macy exposes how Purdue Pharma, the makers of Oxycontin, convinced doctors their patients had virtually no chance of becoming addicted to their new “wonder drug.” But, it wasn’t true. I knew some parts of this horrific story from reading Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opioid Epidemic and interviewing Dreamland’s author, Sam Quinones in episode 95 of the podcast. He connects the dots between prescription medications and heroin addiction. In Dopesick, we witness this play out in graphic detail. Most of you know, I’m no fan of Big Pharma. Of course, I’m thankful for medical advances which have saved millions of lives. But, as we’ve talked about in prior episodes, pharmaceutical corporations exist to make profits for their sh

It’s our 200th episode—time to reflect on where we’ve been and where we’re headed! My first thought is how grateful I am for the opportunity to share with you and our community. Your comments, emails, and dms mean everything to me. They let me know you resonate with Love & Life’s mission:  “Conversations grounded in psych research to help us thrive in love and life.” On Love & Life, we’re all about the research–which is why we’re so dismayed by the degeneration of science we’ve recently witnessed. In this episode, we discuss 3 cases of faulty science which have just come to light, starting with an umbrella study by Joanna Moncrieff and colleagues which finds no connection between depression and serotonin levels. Although many psychiatrists have doubted the “chemical imbalance” explanation of depression for years, pharmaceutical companies continue to promulgate this unsubstantiated theory because it has, obviously, greatly boosted sales of antidepressants. We examine two other instances of manipul

As many of you know, my book, Single is the New Black:  Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, resulted from my experiences as a single woman who read all the other books for single women and found them, in my estimation, to be lacking. I resisted other books’ theses—that something must be inherently wrong with me and that’s why I was still single. Also, so many self-help books for single women morph into dating “how to’s.” Which, I was never a really big fan of dating do’s and don’ts because I believe we need to date as our authentic selves. Sure, we can—and should—present the very BEST version of our authentic selves. We absolutely want to date with confidence, emotional maturity, kindness, and mutual respect—for those we date and for ourselves. So, I wrote my own book about how to stay true to ourselves while dating, and how to manage the single shaming comments you likely hear from time to time. It’s a word of encouragement and empowerment and a reminder that you’re strong and courageous because–it’s easy

A little while ago, I received an email: “Hey there! My name is Jenny Mallard and I’m a Canadian singer-songwriter and also a huge fan of your podcast. I actually just released my debut single, partially inspired by the themes of some of your podcast episodes and your book. Basically, I’ve always wanted a man to write me a love song. Then one day, I realized, I’m a singer songwriter. I’ll just write one for myself. It’s called, “I Do: The Self Love Song.” This is a shot in the dark, however, I’m just a huge fan and I’d be honored for you to take a listen. Thanks!” As you can imagine, I was so touched to receive this email. So, I immediately replied telling Jenny how honored I was to know she felt inspired by my work. I knew the Love & Life family would resonate with Jenny’s journey, so I invited Jenny to share the themes of her song with all of us. Join us as Jenny discusses how clarifying her values brought her life into focus. She left a 3 year relationship, got serious about her music career, and wrote