Dr Karin Love & Life

When we’ve been on the dating scene for a while and endured so much heartache, how can we believe good men still exist? It’s so easy to give up hope, but we don’t want to become bitter or demoralized! In this Q&A episode, Elliott and I answer your questions: “Valerie” wants to know how she can possibly trust men again after her boyfriend of 6 months broke up with her right after her miscarriage of their baby. “Sarah” has been in 3 long term relationships and each time she caught her partner lying about debt, infidelity, and drugs. She worries she’ll never be able to meet a man of integrity. “Maggie” recently got back together with her ex who used drugs recreationally when they dated before—which is why she broke up with him. He says he’s left that lifestyle behind but she still wonders if she’ll ever be able to fully trust him. Join us to hear strategies for healing and rebuilding hope and trust. Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook:

How often do you ask yourself, “How am I doing?” If you're like most of us, the answer may be–not often enough! Detroit Pistons psychotherapist, Dr. Corey Yeager, invites us to ask ourselves this very question. His new book, “How Am I Doing? 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself” provides thought provoking prompts for deeper self knowledge–of who you’ve been and who you intend to become! I highlighted some of my favorite quotes from Dr. Yeager’s book and asked him to elaborate on them. Specifically, we explore: The importance of being sure you’re the one writing your story! Listening to your inner voice and monitoring your self talk. Growing up, Dr. Yeager heard things like, “Don’t become someone your family wouldn’t recognize!” How do we honor our family of origin while still resonating with our authentic selves? The tension between “Making the right choice” vs. “Making the choice right!” The impact of untruths we tell ourselves! Dr. Yeager’s definition of True Freedom and the heavy responsibility in

We're wrapping up our series on Dr. Chapman's 5 Love Languages with a couple more I've developed over my 30+ years working with couples—challenge and presentation!  1. Challenge: How we challenge each other in a committed romantic relationship—to be the best version of ourselves, in relationships, career, family, and faith—is critical mortar solidifying or weakening, your love language wall. Research shows one of the main reasons marriages break down is boredom! But couples who commit to challenging one another via encouragement and exhortation toward growth and development, strengthen their intimacy and keep their connection exciting!  2. Presentation: How we present our partner to others displays how we view him/her. Furthermore, when we’re married, our spouse is a representation of us at all times. How partners present each other to family, friends, and community is another enormously important language that allows the other five love languages to thrive or be denied. Listen to learn ho

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott & I discuss the following: Fascinating research behind the power of touch. Don’t all men have physical touch as their top love language? The importance of pacing physical touch as your intimacy develops and how this relates to hookup culture.   How men and women experience touch differently based on our differing physicalities.  Repairing physical touch after infidelity.  Attachment styles as they relate to physical touch.  Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott & I discuss the following: Why acts of service in partnership may feel harder to receive for people who were single for a long time.  How acts of service are critical to couples in crisis recovery.  The vulnerability inherent to giving and receiving acts of service.  How to communicate which acts of service you desire and why it’s important you do so! Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life! Q

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott and I explore the following: How to give gifts in the early days of a relationship.  Values which lay at the root of gift giving. If your love language is gifts, are you inherently materialistic? How our family of origin influences our feelings about giving and receiving gifts.  Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life! Quizzes, Resources, & more: Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/ Chapman, G. (

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott and I explore the following: How to negotiate time—even in the early stages of your relationship. I share an example from when Dan and I were first dating and I was late to pick him up from the airport! Why couples need to understand the values beneath their conception of time and how sometimes, you share the same values, but express them differently. How to approach your partner with a request for more time. Spoiler alert—words of affirmation come in handy! How the family life cycle impacts your navigating of quality time. Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships. Elliott and I explore the following: Why Words of Affirmation may be the most important love language! How to express Words of Affirmation even if you’re not someone who feels comfortable sharing your emotions. The difficulty of receiving Words of Affirmation when we don’t feel confident or self-assured—and how to learn to receive them despite our insecurities and woundedness. How to give Words of Affirmation to ourselves—and why doing so is a gift to our current or future partner! Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and through

All of us face loneliness. We need to acknowledge and move through loneliness to be empowered and encouraged in our relationships. Last week I gave a message on loneliness at Judson University and we wanted to share it with you. There are three universal circumstances that automatically generate loneliness. I used the acronym TFL (tackle for loss for you football fans) for these 3 life conditions: Transitions Fear Loss Loneliness is inherent to these 3 conditions and therefore, it's an unavoidable aspect of life; but we can abate it and even make peace with it. Loneliness is especially challenging during Valentine's week—whether we're single and wishing we weren't or we're feeling lonely in the context of our romantic relationship. Our team at Love and Life and the Love & Life community are here to help you throughout Valentine’s and beyond! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowe

For this week’s episode I wanted to share my recent appearance on “Perspective of the Mind or how to get unstuck when you feel stuck with Diyana Dimitrova”. In this episode we cover: What does it mean healthy and unhealthy relationship? Why so many people are in unhealthy relationships? How to recognize a deal breaker from the normal ups and downs in a relationship? How can we cope with fear of loneliness?  Please considering checking out Diyana’s podcast here: https://anchor.fm/diyana-dimitrova Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials remember a world without social media and cell phones but for Gen Z, technology has always been a ubiquitous part of their existence. So, I was curious as to how Gen Z would respond to our series on technology and relationships. Do they have any similar frustrations? What do they make of the modern dating landscape as it relates to technology? How are their friendships impacted? Do they feel technology’s influence on their mental health? Former Love & Life guest and my BFF, Miriam Conner, said her daughter, Callie, had listened to our series and had some thoughts she was willing to share. Join us for a Gen Zer’s response to phones, technology, and relationships. Callie and I cover the questions above and more! https://www.therobinreport.com/a-growing-segment-of-gen-z-is-so-over-social-media/ https://flatheadbeacon.com/2022/12/23/the-luddite-club/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @d

When did you last spend time with someone without a phone in your hand or on the table? It’s probably been a while . . . And while phones absolutely enhance our lives and provide the ability to connect with people across the globe, they can also detract from our IRL relationships. In today’s episode, Elliott and I continue our conversation on phones and relationships by considering the following question:  Does social media make you happy? We explore the following and much more! Does “technopherence” create barriers in your relationships? Are you having an emotional affair with your phone? Are you guilty of phubbing? How “intimate” are social media connections? How do attachment styles intersect with social media usage? When do you pull out your phone—and more importantly, why? Elliott’s ABCs of relationships and phones. PLUS learn Elliott’s step-by-step plan for enhancing intimacy by creating the necessary structure around social media/phone usage! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books,

When you’re with your friends, how long can you make it before one of you pulls out your phone? You’re just responding to texts, of course, or, maybe checking the likes from your last post. Most of us do it all day every day. But research shows jumping onto social media when you’re with friends IRL may have a detrimental impact on your connection. There’s even a newish term for this,“technopherence”– technology based interference. And specifically, when “technopherence” disrupts your time with friends, it’s called “phubbing” – “snubbing [friends] in order to focus your attention on your phone” (Degges-White, 2022). To continue our series on Phones and Relationships, my BFF and Love & Life alum, Miriam Conner, joins me to discuss how we can remain present with our friends and cultivate deep intimacy despite the ubiquity of technology. Join us to hear the research and learn 3 key tips for managing phones and friendships! Citation: https://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/jennifer-aniston-friends-bust-than

“It’s like there are four people in your relationship—you, your partner, and your two phones.” – Elliott Anderson, M.A. Is your phone impacting your ability to cultivate deep, authentic intimacy? Probably so! Thanks to the phones in our pockets, we’re able to distract ourselves 24/7—from boredom, loneliness, or any uncomfortable emotion. But what about when our relationship with our phone trumps our relationship with our significant other? Join us for a discussion around the very real difficulties couples face when trying to balance relationships with technology and their relationship with their partner. Spending hours on your phone may absolutely be sabotaging your efforts to cultivate authentic and lasting intimacy. Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Aud

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! At least, that’s the fantasy . . . We imagine warm, loving family gatherings—breaking bread, sharing hopes and dreams. Grandparents regaling us with tales of Christmas past. Toddlers and teens giving us a glimpse into Christmas future. But all too often the warm, loving gathering is neither—it’s cold and combative. Breaking bread breaks hearts as we war over politics, religion, and COVID policies. Grandparents’ stories can’t compete with TikTok. Toddlers throw tantrums while teens remain glued too screens. Elliott and I discuss common struggles families face when gathering for the holidays. Join us for practical strategies grounded in Family Systems Theory to manage family conflict at Christmas—or any time! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible

Is your relationship plagued by constant frustrations and arguments? If so, it’s possible power struggles are at the root of your disagreements. In today’s episode, psychotherapist and pastor, Elliott Anderson, M.A., and I continue our conversation on conflict styles by examining power struggles. If you haven’t had the chance to listen to parts 1 and 2 of this discussion, please jump back to episodes 220 and 221 of Love & Life so you’ll understand all these animals we’re talking about! During his 30 years of counseling couples, Elliott has used the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Style model, which compares the way we negotiate conflict to the ways animals behave and respond. Take the assessment in the link below to find out which animal you are! As we delved into conflict, the theme of power kept emerging because, of course, so much of the dissension we experience in relationships is due to power struggles. Join us to learn how to negotiate power—and conflict!—in your relationships! Conflict Style Framework Lin

If you have siblings, you likely fought with them about anything and everything! They were your first sparring partners. And, through them—and interactions with parents and friends, too—you developed your conflict style. (For more on conflict styles, check out part 1 of this series, ep. 220 of Love & Life.) Elliott and I continue our discussion on conflict negotiations in romantic partnership by examining the influence of our temperament, birth order, and our family of origin’s (unwritten) rules regarding conflict resolution. I ask Elliott to share examples from his over 30 years of counseling couples—which he does. But he also analyzes Dan and me! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Send in a voice message: htt

Conflict is inherent to every relationship. And though many of us regard conflict as problematic and prefer to avoid it, we don’t actually have to perceive it as negative. In fact, when we negotiate conflict, we deepen intimacy and authentic connection. That being said, it’s MUCH easier to negotiate conflict if we have a solid understanding of how we tend to respond when dealing with it. Join Elliott and me as we discuss Thomas–Kilmann’s conflict style framework—a model Elliott has used with couples for over 30 years. Discover your conflict style and learn how to move through disputations with your partner! Spoiler alert:  Elliott and I get personal in this episode—sharing our own conflict styles and how we respond when disagreeing with our spouses. Conflict Style Framework Link: Thomas-Kilmann Assessment Test Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDat

Do you feel judged for your financial choices?  If you’re single, you’ve likely experienced single shaming.  And, you probably have also experienced shaming around your financial situation. Single shaming and finances are a thing.  Emily Burnett should know.  In her twenties, she was $50,000 in debt.  She felt the shame.  Then, she pulled herself out of debt and she now helps others create a plan to move from financial shackles to financial freedom!  We delve into the following:  The freedom inherent to financial discipline.  The fact that you’re on a budget—whether or not you’re aware of it.  How to ditch the guilt around spending!  How women can validate our own financial choices.  The importance of creating boundaries around finances.  How to get support!  Emily is offering a free masterclass—Budgeting That Doesn’t Feel Like a Chore: Make 2023 Your Best Year Yet. 3 Simple Steps for Changing Your Money and Your Life—For Good. Si

We wrapped up our recent Love & Life Live by answering questions from both our Instagram viewers and in-person audience. Elliott and I shared our thoughts on the following questions: What is an appropriate pacing for a relationship? Butterflies—are we looking for them? Or, is it better to go for that calm feeling? How can I know his or her intentions? How do I know if my attraction is healthy or if I’m attracted to people who aren’t good for me due to a trauma bond? How can we deal with conflict in our relationship when we both try to avoid confrontation at all costs? These are very common and important questions; we hope our discussion will help you on your journey to deep, authentic intimacy! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smartu