Dr Karin Love & Life

Elliott sent me this Key and Peele clip the other day: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wOBNm_8zw4I I immediately texted back, “We need to record an episode about this!” The bit starts with Key sharing an unpopular opinion about a movie.  Peele responds with a phrase we hear all the time these days, “That’s awkward!” Key is confused. What’s awkward about an opinion? He protests but Peele continues to shut him down with dismissive phrases like, “Okay . . . ” and “All right . . .” It’s a funny sketch that reveals a great deal about our current social environment. The terms and phrases we use are powerful—they reflect current norms while also framing how we experience our interactions and relationships. Meaning, when we perceive common day-to-day conversations as “awkward,” we respond accordingly i.e. we tell ourselves to be uncomfortable and hence increase the likelihood we’ll feel anxious. Think about it. We could just as easily label common day-to-day conversations as “normal—maybe surprising, maybe confusing,

Last week, Producer Tim and I discussed the joys of an easy marriage.  But we know, of course, this isn’t everyone’s experience! We definitely wanted Elliott to share how he helps couples in difficult marriages improve their connection so they can enjoy each other more—and maybe even find that ease and fluidity they’ve been lacking! Specifically, we discuss: Semantics around the word, “easy.” Why Elliott thinks it’s often more about a secure connection, as opposed to an “easy” one. The fact that couples with avoidant attachment styles might have what seems to be an easier marriage, but how this could reflect a lack of depth in their connection. When an easy marriage might actually be in trouble! Strategies for couples struggling with a difficult marriage—your marriage CAN get easier! No matter the dynamics of your relationship, please join us! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Web

The Love & Life family is a diverse bunch—from singles, to those exclusively dating, to engaged couples, to marrieds, to divorced folks back on the scene again. We’re all at different places in our love journey. As we thought about what we wanted to share for Valentine’s Day, Producer Tim suggested we grapple with the following:  Are relationships doomed to be a constant struggle? Do they have to be SO hard? Could marriage actually be easy? Since it was Tim’s idea, I asked him to share his thoughts and experience with the topic.  Specifically, we delve into the following: What makes a relationship easy? Do opposites attract and if so, won’t this eventually lead to strife? If we marry someone similar to us, won’t things get boring? How do conflict styles factor in? What role does attachment style play in terms of relationship ease? We then take a look at the psych research, of course! We also weave in clips from a song I wrote for Dan called Breathing—“It’s like breathing, so easy, lo

We interrupt our series on engagement to bring you Elliott’s presentation on trauma, which he shared recently at his church. How do we define trauma? What experiences leave a trauma wound? How do these wounds impact our relationships? What does the Bible have to say about trauma? Is there hope for healing? If so, how do we heal? We’ve all experienced some level of trauma—Big T or Little t. Perhaps you never fought in a war zone or were the victim of a violent attack, but we all recently endured a global pandemic and, as Elliott explains, COVID response measures certainly traumatized us individually and collectively. Join us for a word of hope and strategies for healing! P.S. Elliott wanted us to include the hymn I sang at the end of the service.

As anyone who’s experienced depression can tell you, it’s brutal. And, with almost 1 in 4 American women taking antidepressants, it’s clear many of us are suffering. What’s going on? What’s to be done? In this latest episode of our “Love & Life:  Let’s Talk About It” series, Miriam Conner and I explore depression in America—especially as it relates to women. Specifically, we consider: How depression is conceptualized.  The evidence that debunks the “chemical imbalance” explanation. Why antidepressants don’t work. Lifestyle factors that contribute to depression. Spoiler alert:  pretty much everything in the standard American lifestyle contributes to it! Research based strategies to liberate us from the clutches of depression! Join us to learn how to break free from the grip of depression! N.B. Please DO NOT quit taking antidepressants without the consultation and guidance of a professional trained in how to taper off SSRIs safely. Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome can result when abrup

We continue our series on engagement with the next segment of Elliott’s premarital counseling curriculum. Today’s episode delves into Session 1, Part 2. Elliott discusses the themes couples should address when they’re engaged—along with the exercises and activities he employs to help generate conversations around these important topics. If you’re engaged—or expect to be someday—this episode is for you! And actually, even if you’re married, you’ll find much value in this conversation. Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

You’re engaged! Time for wedding planning! But, what about marriage planning? Because a strong, fulfilling marriage starts long before your wedding day! In fact, our engagement serves as a crucial time for us to address key concerns and establish healthy patterns which will set us up for a strong, fulfilling marriage. With over 30 years counseling engaged and married couples, Elliott has a wealth of recommendations to help you utilize this important time in your relationship. Join us to explore 5 key concerns to address when you’re engaged to optimize your future marriage!  Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

Welcome to Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It! So, what exactly are we talking about? All the hot topics we’re not supposed to touch—the subjects that get you censored, shadow-banned, and canceled when you broach them. Censorship, shadow-banning, cancelation . . . How could this happen? This is America, the “land of the free!” Or, so we thought . . . Are we actually free if we’re not permitted to challenge assertions and dissent from dictates? How is it we now live in a society in which social media platforms—which essentially serve as our “public square”—can determine what discourse may be discussed and which topics are considered unacceptable? Maybe you’re okay with the censorship. After all, there’s a lot of disinformation and hate speech out there! But, who establishes what is and what isn’t “disinformation”? And who decides when speech is nasty enough to constitute “hate”? If censorship enrages you and the questions above infuriate you, Love & Life “Let’s Talk About It” episodes are for you

Building a strong marriage starts long before the wedding day and with 30+ years of working with couples, Elliott has plenty of solid advice for anyone newly engaged or contemplating engagement! But, first things first—it’s thrilling to accept a proposal and begin wedding planning, but we need to be sure we’re doing all this with the right person for us! Too often, premarital counseling focuses on household chores and budget, extended family relationships, etc. And yes, these are important, of course.  But, all these will be exponentially more difficult to manage if you marry the wrong person in the first place. As a former runaway bride, I see engagement a little differently. I know what it’s like to try to make it work with someone who wasn’t the best fit for me.  It was a good relationship. But, is “good enough” good enough?  I remember being so confused throughout my first engagement. I looked all over for resources to help me sort through my conflicting emotions. A conversation like this one would

You’re engaged! So in love! It’s exhilarating!  Except, when you have cold feet. Are these just wedding jitters? Or, do you need to rethink your decision? As a former runaway bride, this topic hits home to me. Elliott and I decided to kick off our series on premarital counseling by asking a very important first question, “What if you’re engaged, but you’re feeling uncertain and unsure?” In this episode, I share the confusion and angst I experienced when engaged to my first fiancé. Elliott and I discuss the difficulty of sorting through complex cold feet emotions—especially when your fiancé is a wonderful person and you can’t really pinpoint what feels “off.” We provide concrete recommendations for figuring out if your engagement is meant to go the distance, or if calling things off would be the better choice for you and your fiancé.  Join us—whether you’re feeling jittery or not, our conversation highlighting the important elements of engagement will help you build your marriage on a firm foundation! Sp

We wrap up this year with some personal reflections regarding Love & Life’s themes of mind, body, and spirit! Elliott and I discuss some revelations we’ve had via the books and articles we’ve read including: Brain Energy by Christopher Palmer, M.D. Joanna Moncrieff’s challenge of the serotonin theory of depression The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk The work of Dr. Caroline Leaf We share some intentions for aligning our minds, body, and spirit in 2024 and invite you to join us in this journey! Happy New Year from Love & Life! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson Sources cited in today’s episode: https://www.chrispalmermd.com/ The Serotonin Theory of Depression a Systematic Umbrella Review of the Evidence (https://www.natur

In part 2 of our conversation about family roles, Elliott and I share specific roles we may play when interacting with our family of origin—and others in our lives!  Are you the “family hero?” The black sheep? The lost child?  Join us to determine your role and how to rewrite the script should you feel your role constrains you or proves unhealthy for your adult growth and development. Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

Whether we’re aware of it or not, we each play various roles within our families. And, even if we’ve grown and changed, we often step right back into our role during family gatherings! Do you know your family role? Do you understand how it impacts you during the holidays and throughout the year? Some of us have a sense of our family role. Maybe you’re the instigator or the peacemaker. The caretaker or the rebel. The leader or the clown. But oftentimes we play a role and we’re not even aware we’re doing so! Join Elliott and me for part 1 of our conversation about family roles. As we identify our roles, we gain deeper understanding of ourselves and our family’s dynamics. Plus, learn how to alter your role if you’ve grown out of it and it doesn’t fit you anymore! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Elliott and I continue our series on how to best engage with family members over the holidays with this episode devoted to family rules. All families have a “code of conduct.” Some of these expectations are well known by all members. Others operate just beneath the surface.  How do we manage family rules now that we’re adults? How do we navigate the expectations of our family and then adjust to those of our spouse’s family—especially when these rules are so very different? And furthermore, what if our family’s rules violate the values we now hold as adults? Can we interact with respect for our loved ones while maintaining our integrity and authenticity? Join us to learn how to identify your family of origin’s covert rules to ascertain how they may be impacting you and your relationships.  You CAN remain true to your values and ethics while simultaneously enjoying your family this holiday season!   Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your ord

With the new year right around the corner, you may be thinking about resolutions. Many of us want to level up our health and fitness, but oftentimes we feel daunted because we’ve tried a hundred times before, yet never reached our goals. Help is here! Justin Savich, creator of The Pure Fat Loss Challenge, brings over 20 years of nutrition, strength training, and fitness knowledge to his proven program which has helped thousands of people lose fat–not muscle! Join us for Justin’s expertise about food, exercise, and weight. His inside info helps us sort out fact from fiction in the health and wellness domain–a space that so often feels incredibly confusing with contradictory messages from various factions and agendas. Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to kick off 2024 by participating in Justin’s Pure Fat Loss Challenge beginning on December 27th! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Justin Savich The Pure Fat Loss Challenge: https:/

Triangulation. It’s so easy. We all do it. But, it’s SO unhealthy.  What’s triangulation? Here’s a common example: We get angry, but instead of talking to the person who upset us, we gripe about it with someone else. We loop in a third party. It diffuses the tension, but does it move us toward solving the dispute/problem?  Not at all. As we continue our series on how to connect with our families in a healthy manner throughout the holidays—and always!—Elliott and I discuss the perils of triangulated relationships in families. We provide examples of triangulation and explain the myriad ways it negatively impacts relationships. We leave you with three takeaways for figuring out if you’re involved in a family triangle and more importantly, how to extricate yourself if (when!) you realize you’re in the midst of one. Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Emp

Last week we talked about the importance of maintaining boundaries with our family during holiday gatherings. But what if boundaries aren’t enough? What if we simply can’t get along with our family? We no longer agree on anything and we can’t find common ground. Should we completely cut them off? Or, is there a better way? Today, Elliott and I discuss the Family Systems construct of Individuation and explain why it’s an incredibly important process to move through in young adulthood—whether you’re single or married. We provide concrete steps for healthy individuating and explain how your levels of closeness and separateness to your family of origin directly impact every other relationship in your life—even in adulthood! We leave you with 3 takeaways to help you interact with your family authentically, maturely, and in an individuated manner throughout the holidays. Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott

Holiday family gatherings should bring us closer, but sometimes they do the exact opposite! All too often, we get together only to grow apart. Help is here! Implementing principles from Family Systems Therapy allows us to cultivate true intimacy while reducing family drama. In today’s episode, Elliott and I delve into boundaries. We share concrete strategies for establishing boundaries with family members—even those who pry into your business with questions like: “Are you seeing anyone special?” “When are two going to make me a grandma?” “You’re not voting for _____________ next year, are you???” We provide examples of how to: respond to invasive interrogation you don’t care to address.  remain committed to your values and principles without alienating family members whose beliefs differ from yours. mindfully move through difficult conversations.  Join us for a timely conversation designed to prepare you for upcoming family gatherings. Spoiler alert: you CAN maintain boundaries while growing cl

The holidays are upon us and in efforts to make the season as bright as possible, Elliott and I want to share principles from one of our favorite therapeutic orientations—Family Systems Theory and Therapy. And yes, siblings can get under our skin in ways no one else can. And sure, in-law interactions may be strained. And of course, blended families present us with unique challenges, but still—we CAN remain joyful at parties and gatherings and we CAN minimize the drama by keeping 3 key principles in mind. Join us for this first episode in our series on how to dial down family drama this holiday season! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

In fact, we’re taught to avoid talking about finances because it’s considered a bit gauche—especially when you don’t know someone very well. Furthermore, what if you’re not all that proud of your relationship with money? Maybe your bank account refuses to grow and “retail therapy” is your go-to coping mechanism! Or, it seems you just can’t get ahead no matter how much you save! Emily Burnett can relate. She’s a self-proclaimed “money mess” and “budget loather” who was thousands of dollars in debt. But then, she dramatically changed her relationship with money and found freedom in fiscal responsibility!  She shares her journey in her new book, Dear Fellow Spender:  Enjoy Using Your Money to Get Out of Debt, Build Savings, and Create a Life You Love.  And no, we don’t need to have our finances completely sorted out in order to have healthy partnerships, but we do need to have an understanding of our relationship with money—because, research shows it’s a factor that greatly influences marriages. Elliott and