No Guarantees Show -

Do I really need to keep writing these? I mean really, does anybody read these? Well just incase you do, i'll write a description. As always we cover the previous weekend. I'm sure you can already guess. Drinking. We did two (thats right!) two buzzed quizzes this week! You're welcome. I don't know about you, but for me, a sporting event brings out my inner American. Personally, we think events can be kicked up a notch. We end this week (as we will end most of the time now) with Jesses Stupid Stories. You know the drill, he gets stories, we make fun of them. Thanks for tuning in guys, see you all next week!  Black Keys - Strange Times / An Evening With Morning Star (Act II) -  I, Omega/ Close Your Eyes (And Count to Fuck) - Run The Jewels (Ft. Zack de la Rocha) / St. Patrick - Pvris/ Snake Eyes - Mumford & Sons  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Hey guys!   Thought we'd release a little behind the scenes action and give you all a taste of what our pre-show bar sessions are like! As shocking as it may be, we get drunk and talk about dicks...a lot. Our favorite bartender Brett makes an appearance on mic to talk about beers and I tell a story about pissing the bed. No shame ladies and gentlemen...no shame.  Enjoy! -Paul

Happy 4/20! We smoked no weed today! We did however drink, per usual. I'm gonna be completely honest with you, I have no idea what we talked about at the beginning of the show. I do know at some point we talked about Zacks dad hanging out with us at Johnnys Other side and telling Paul an interesting little story. Look, I'm gonna level with you (Zack here) I don't remember what we talked about on the show. You're just going to have to listen. You knew what this was. #NoGuaranteesGod, If You Are Above - Falling In Reverse / The Leaving Song (Part II) -  AFI/ Because I Got High - Afroman / Leader of the Titans - Mors Principium Est/ Something’s Gotta Give - All Time Low  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Show number 40, wow, Can't believe you guys have stuck around this long. As it was last week it was just the original 3 this week. Shoutout this week to Brett from Celery City who always does a good job getting us buzzed before the show. Over the last couple weeks we discussed the Large Hadron Collider and its possible affects on the universe, so this week we tell you how in the future we go back to the past to save time now. #TheOwlLives. Megacon was this weekend, anybody go? We didn't but we'll still talk about our favorite parts. Tits. To wrap things up we discuss how we're getting older and things like healthcare is more revenant. Wouldn't it be better though if we could just get the ol' Bohemian healthcare? listen and you'll understand. Thanks again for listening guys, see you guys next week and as always #NoGuaranteesLudaversal Intro - Ludacris / Choices (Yup) -  E-40/ Iddy Biddy - The Used / It’s My Life - No Doubt / Cath... - Death Cab for Cutie  / Call the show

Hello, hello, Show number 39. This week its just the boys, no guests. It's good to have that every once in a while. There is a lot of alcohol talk this week. Not that we don't do that every week but more so this tonight. We discuss business ventures in the Amazon or maybe Africa. After skipping one last week, we bring back the BuzzFeed quiz and it's probably one of the best yet. To finish the show off we talk a little bit about how boring sports can be now a days and the way we can improve them. Thanks again for tuning in guys, see you next week! #NoGuaranteesMusic Featured in the Show:   City of Angels - The Distillers / Hollow Moon (Bad Wolf) -  AWOLNATION/ Dead Inside - Muse / Nothing Left - As I Lay Dying / A Decade Under The Influence - Taking Back Sunday  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

BLALALALALALALALALALALA BAAAHHHHHH!!!! I'll keep this short and sweet, 22 minutes of the A Mediocre Time crew. Thanks again to Dan, Tom, Ross, and Samantha.

It was a bit of a slow week around the No Guarantees headquarters. Zack was down in Tampa most of the week, luckily he brought a couple stories back with him. One of which involved a gathering of steam punk folk. From there we jump into the Lagunitas Smokeout event that happened on Sunday, where maybe one member of the show lost his soul and then some. If you watched live you witnessed Armwrestlemania 4. For those that missed it, the audio will have to do. Thanks again to Joey and Theron for sitting in on the show tonight. Make sure to check out the bonus content featuring Tom and Dan from A Mediocre Time, right above this post.Music Featured in the Show:   Shake It Out - Manchester Orchestra / King Kunta -  Kendrick Lamar/ All Day - Kanye West / The Business of Emotion - Big Data / Prayer Of The The Refugee - Rise Against  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Another Monday another show. Tonight we started with the usual ramblings before we got into our St. Paddys Day stories. Jesse definitely let loose the most. It seems over the past week we've frequented the bars a bit more, and oddly enough, there was a high number of goth girls at each one. We discuss the goth girl a bit and try and breakdown her story. Going along with the bar theme we talk a bit about what is proper bar etiquette. To finish things off we talk about how the Swiss are opening a portal for the Lizard people to come back and claim all our asses as their own. Thanks for listening guys! See you next week! #NoGuarantees #LizardPeopleMusic Featured in the Show:   Next Girl - The Black Keys / Got It -  Marian Hill/ For The Workforce, Drowning - Thursday / How You Like Me Now - The Heavy / If So - Atlas Genius  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

After a 2 week hiatus we're back! We cover a lot in this weeks show so i'll keep it short and sweet here to let you get to it. We went to the inaugural Orlando City match last weekend and ran into a bit of a bathroom issue. During the week we finished some of our studio upgrades, hence no show this week. Over this past weekend we went to an event at Ember and lost our souls. I'm not gonna tell you anymore than that, i'm gonna make you listen to the show. Thanks for tuning in guys and make sure to tune in next week for an all new No Guarantees! Music Featured in the Show:   Psycho - Muse / Up 2 U -  Walk The Moon/ Narrow Mouth - The Early November / Sense & Sensibility - Millencolin / Bone Digger - Bear Hands  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

This week we were completely unprepared. Whoops! Every once in a while though you have a down week where not much happens. Maybe we started this too early? You know, maybe should have waited another 10 years to let the stories build up. Once we finally get the ball rolling , we discuss what the equivalent to a woman cupping a guys junk is. Of course it wouldn't be a show if we didn't slip into porn talk. That led us into the topic of how cool would it be to have all the attributes of being gay, yet still be straight when it comes to your sex life. We finish tonight off remembering the cereals of the 90's. Yes, we went from porn to cereal. Welcome to the show. Thanks again to all that tuned in this week. Make sure to tell all your friends about the show and don't feel shy to reach out to us on social media. Until next week guys, no guarantees. Music Featured in the Show:   Red Flag - Billy Talent / Lifted Up (1985) -  Passion Pit/ Aliens Exist - Blink 182 / Given Up - Li

Where to start, where to start? How about Paul's Friday night, which I'm sure is one he won't forget for a long time. We kept the weekend pretty low key after that. Before todays show, Paul and myself (Zack) fell into a Monster Quest marathon. If you've never seen this show, you're in for a treat. Im about to go on a tangent so I'll move on and you can just listen to the show to get our thoughts. Have you ever wondered what wizards actually do? We ponder it a bit and give our take. From wizards we move to aliens. Where are they? I mean c'mon its 2015, its time we've seen some damn aliens. Before we get out of her we want to thank A Mediocre Time for having us in last week. Make sure to check them out at www.tomanddan.com to catch all their latest shows and merch. See you guys next week! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show:   All You Need Is Already Within You - Senses Fail / A-List -  Sisqo (feat. Waka Flocka Flame)/ Back to Oblivion - Finch / Money - Ludacris / My

We are back in the studio this week at our brand new date and time! (Mondays at 8:30 if you didn't hear). This week our buddies Nick and Theron sit in with us to continue the ever constant ridicule of each other. It was quite the long weekend and a couple of us we're definitely feeling it tonight. Jesse and Theron had a gentleman's bet on Valentines day as to who could find love first. Spoiler, nobody wins but its a great story none the less. Meanwhile, Zacks life seems to be falling apart. (It's a bit weird writing that about yourself). We actually didn't use the famous white board this week and todays show was made up on the fly, which is usually when we have the most fun. Thanks again to our buddies for coming in and we look forward to seeing all you guys next Monday at 8:30! #NoGuaranteesMusic Featured in the Show:   Hunting the Hunter - Hidden in Plain View / The Best Room -  Modest Mouse/ Absolution Calling - Incubus / The Wolfpack - Angels & Airwaves / P

Well we did it, we went mobile. I have to tell you, it'll probably never get better than this one either. We decided to break in our new equipment at the unofficial Tom and Dan breakfast meet up at Johnnys filling station this past Sunday. We spared no expense this show, gathering all the big names in Orlando. Well, at least three of them. We start off with local beer connoisseur, Big Rick. Anything you need to know about beer, this is your man. Make sure to follow him on social media to find all the cool drinking events happening near you. Second to step up to the plate was someone we all are familiar with, Daniel Dennis. You'll know him from A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan. What a cool guy, seriously, couldn't be more down to earth. We wrap up our first mobile cast with Angel Rivera from The Monsters in the Morning. You can also catch Angel Saturday nights DJ'ing at Frank'n'Steins in Winter Park and Johnnys Filling Station Sunday mornings for brunch. This was the first of many mobile ca

No Description - No Regrets - Just Listen....Music Featured in the Show:   Burn This City - Cartel / Call It Karma - Silverstein / Black Sun - Death Cab For Cutie / My Time - Minus The Bear / Get Out - Circa Survive  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  TUESDAYS @ 9:30 PM!

Show number 30, its like we're adults now. Hahahaha. Unfortunately Jesse couldn't be here tonight so it was up to Zack and Paul this week. We start with a fan favorite, Buzzed quiz! This week we find out what type of booze we are, and i must say, its pretty spot on. Over the weekend Paul was in Tampa so he tells us about his Saturday night. Meanwhile Jesse and Zack went downtown and it went, uhhh, lets say a little downhill. Are we alcoholics? We don't think so but our moms beg to differ. Anyway guys, we had a blast this week and as always look forward to the next! see you then! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show:   No Games - Rick Ross / Blank Space - Our Last Night (Taylor Swift Cover) / Toxic - A Static Lullaby (Britney Spears Cover) / Uptown Funk - Mark Ronson Ft. Bruno Mars / Wrecking Ball - August Burns Red (Miley Cyrus Cover)  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  TUESDAYS @ 9:30 PM!

Another week, another show in the books. This weeks Buzzfeed quiz is right up our alley, what should your next pube style be? Ever been eaten out at a concert? Neither have we, but some lady at a Dead Kennedys show was and thanks to Reddit we can all enjoy it. Jesse, Zack and our friend Theron pull one over our favorite bartender this week and made her shitlist, oops. Whats hiding in your bedroom? We wanna know, no really email us, we want to know. To finish us off jesse tells a couple life experiences from the past week and how Chipotle is really missing a golden opportunity with their tea canisters. As always guys, thanks for listening and we'll see you next week!Music Featured in the Show:   Hollow Bodies - blessthefall / Re-Education (Through Labor) - Rise Against / Luckie St. - Cartel / Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys / What A Horrible Night to Have a Curse - The Black Dahlia Murder  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  TUESDAYS @ 9:30 PM!

What to write, what to write (By the way, little known fact, Zack writes all of these. Just had to let it be known). Jesse shaved his beard off this week, blasphemy! Our biggest fan and friend of ours (Nick) leaves us a voicemail to do with a couple topics from last week so we knock those out real quick. Then all hell breaks loose. Lucid dreams, ever had them? Well we have and we share them with you guys tonight. From lucid dreams we discuss our perfect scenario of heaven and hell, and to be honest hell seems like a way better deal. Anybody have a good dealer? noguaranteesshow@gmail.com strictly for research purposes of course. Boners. everyone gets them. So how do you handle them? Well lucky for you we have the answer. Tonight was a really fun show and we can't wait for next week, so now stop reading this and go listen! See you guys next time!Music Featured in the Show:   Starlight - Muse / Paper Tigers - Thrice / 99 Problems - Jay Z / All For You - Sister Hazel / 

Happy New Years!!! It's 2015 and we are back and as average as ever! We really jump right into this week, like what half of a centaur is better, or if you flipped the sides around. Anybody do anything fun for New years? Us either, but we'll tell you about it anyway. One of our new favorite things to do in 2015 is taking buzzed quizzes. This week we found out her our "ginger" soulmates are (and to be honest we didn't do too bad). We discuss Wheel of Fortune and why we should be on it. Paul has a new dad pouch, and Jesse won't let him live it down. Finally, and we know its what everybody has been waiting for, PROOF THAT MERMAIDS ARE REAL!!! Music Featured in the Show:   In The Morning - The Heavy / Face Everything And Rise - Papa Roach / Sensory Deprivation Adventure - From Autumn To Ashes / Suck My Kiss - Red Hot Chili Peppers / Gotta Get Away - The Black Keys  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  TUESDAYS @ 9:30 PM!

Happy Holidays! We hope all have a good one this year. This week we talk a little bit about our annual christmas party. No, party is complete without green juice, someone busting there ass, and everyone ending up hammered. We also discuss all the ways Paul could ruin the show by not letting Jesse and Zack know about plans made prior to doing the show. If you're anything like us then you probably have uncontrollable road rage. Why isn't there something to help fulfill the rage yet!? Anyway, once again we wish all the best on everyones holiday season and we will see ya next week!Music Featured in the Show:   Various Songs from August Burns Red’s Holiday Album Sleddin’ HillCall the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  TUESDAYS @ 9:30 PM!

25, the show is now as old as Zack (still the youngest, boom. Take that Jesse and Paul.) Look guys, I'm going to be honest, I can't remember at all what we talked about at the beginning of the show. Just listen. Once we come back from break, Paul tells us about his crazy lucid dreams. It wouldn't be a show if we didn't discuss our alcoholism. Look I'm really phoning this description in the week. Just listen to the show. As always, we appreciate all that tune in and we'll see ya next week! Music Featured in the Show:   Off The Corner - Meek Mill / Goon Squad - Deftones / Full Color Guilt - BoySetsFire / Money On My Mind - Hustle Gang / Holiday - The Get Up Kids  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  TUESDAYS @ 9:30 PM!