No Guarantees Show -

Happy Labor Day! Whatever the hell that means now. Anyway, we have a packed house tonight! Some old guests, some new guests and everything in between (idk whats in between). We're 0-60 in like 2 seconds tonight. To start off we talk about the best of 90s kids game show prizes. From that we move onto beans in a bag. Yes thats right, beans in a bag. Just listen. In the second segment we move into cobra talk. Have you heard the good news?! $50,000 bounty for the capture of the Orlando King Cobra! In the third segment we talk a bit about the Kim Davis controversy. To round it out we discuss proper neighbor etiquette. Tonight was a great time and thanks to everyone that came in! See you guys next week for show number 59! Music Featured in the Show:Midtown - Give It Up / Simple Plan - Boom / Dance Gavin Dance - We Own The Night / Ludacris - Money  /Nothing But Thieves  - Itch  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Zacks not here now so I'm gonna give this a go! Tonight was off the rails from the beginning. We started off with yelling at Jesse for getting us sick and missing last week's show. Who else get's high off cold pills? We do...get down with the sickness. The show then takes a turn into our deepest and darkest dreams. Are ghosts real? Probably...we won't risk it. Second segment goes back into some standard No Guarantees topics, how we would pick up dudes at a bar. Jeopardy...it's the question first. Jesse is back with his stupid stories and they're better than ever. (Maybe not...you can be the judge) Anyway Show #57 is in the books, take a listen and don't let us know what you think. See you next week!Music Featured in the Show:Jme - Man Don’t Care / Slaves - Drowning In My Addiction / Drag - Day Wave / The Struts - Could Have Been Me  /The Wombats  - Give Me A Try  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Unfortunately, Jesse was out sick this week. We wish him a big "get well soon". That being said, the show must go on! This week we have the one and only Pizza Piesenberg in studio with us! We recap the weekend of Lagunitas events and how Chris blew it a couple Stetson hotties. To counter his total debauchery we discuss the woman in Indiana who "married god". Then to completely counter that we talk a little bit about the Ashley Madison hack going on and how dumb you have to be to actually get caught. From there we keep the sexual talk going with the man with the six million dollar penis. Which if you're wondering will buy you 8 inches. We finish it out with a couple news stories, one being that Japan is sending hard liquor to their people in the ISS (which we fully support). To end it out we talk about Spain and their odd obsession with festivals involving animals. Which if you're an activist of any sort you won't want to hear. As always guys its been fun and we will see you next week for show #57! M

Tonights show was completely off the rails. No organization to it whatsoever. The first segment was literally just masturbation talk. 30 minutes of it, so enjoy! After the first break we reveal what TacoBell item each one of us we are as decided by BuzzFeed. After that its just a shit show of tangents. In the final segment we discuss our weekend. Not much different than any other, drink a lot, pass out, get up, drink more. We did attend an event at a certain piano bar in Orlando though so we discuss that a bit. Anybody that's interested in grabbing some beers with the No Guarantees guys, we will be at cafe DaVincis in DeLand for the Lagunitas "Keep the Jar" night. Buy an IPA you keep the mason jar. Pretty simple. Saturday the 22nd we will be at World of Beer Lake Mary for Lagunitas keg tapping of Citrusenensis and Chicago Fusion XXX. Come hang with us, get a coozie, some Lagunitas schwag and a beer with us! After that we'll be heading to Tomoka Brewery to end the night on a high note!Music Featured in the Sho

Feels like it's been a another year already but alas it has only been 2 shows since the 1 year. Only 50 more to go! Recently we've noticed a direct correlation between "art" and homeless people. We dive into what gives value to "art" and how there really is no true "ones own perception" anymore. Also we found out if making money as an artist doesn't pan out you could make a cool $51,000 as a Taco Bell manager. Coming back from break Paul gets excited over some Republican talk. He still has a boner. Tonight we come up with, what we think is, a million dollar idea. Death Row Hunger Games. Pretty much is exactly what it sounds like. To finish off the night we talk about another one of our new ideas, beer insurance. Sounds pretty foolproof to us. As always we end it with some of Jesses Stories. Thanks for hanging with us again guys and make sure to tell your friends about us! The more listeners, the more cool things we can do with you guys! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show:Happy Song - Bring Me

I'm trying to type a summary but I'm way too interested in the new porno that Jesse has supplied me with, which in this show you'll find out how Zack is in a bit of a porno rut. To start off though we recap Fridays ! year anniversary event. Thank you to everyone that made it out! We had a great time and plan to do more events like this in the future! After recap the drunken shenanigans we get into some more discussion type topics like Cecil the Lion. After the "serious" talk, we get into our fratboy douche neighbors at the Orlando City match this past weekend. To end the show Jesse gives us a couple stories including some girls scamming ISIS and UFO's flying over Wisconsin and Japan, which branches off into alien talk. Thanks for listening guys and we hope to make it another year with all of you! #NoGuaranteesMusic Featured in the Show:No Diggity - Chet Faker / Long Live - Atreyu / Got To My Head - WATERS / In Fate's Hands - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus  / Breathing Underwater - Metric

Show #52! One whole year! First off thank you to all that have tuned in every week and joined us in our drunkin ramblings. To start things off we talk about our experience at a local Japanese sushi restaurant. From Japanese restaurant we go into  Japanese porno. (Wouldn't be a show if we didn't do some sort of porno talk). To be honest, I'm pretty drunk and don't remember what the rest of the show consisted of. What else do you expect from a one year show? Anyway, we hope to see you ll this Friday, July 31st at Celery City for our 1 year meet up! 2 free beers and a shot just for showing up! Can't beat that! See you guys there!Music Featured in the Show:Born For This - Paramore / Trip Switch - Nothing But Thieves / Homeless Jazz - Letlive / In the Belly of a Shark - Gallows / The Flood - Escape The Fate  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Show #51! 1 away from the big 1 year! We start this week with wet dreams. Have you ever had one? From there we go into Paul's 10 year reunion. Apparently not much has changed. After the first break we get into a little bit of a more serious subject. When should people just mind their own business and when should they get involved? We actually had a great call from our buddy Owen on the subject and it felt good to have a bit of a discussion that wasn't about dicks. In the final segment we talk about how we feel the Special Olympics and Olympics should be a bit more intertwined. Theres nothing i can really say here to explain this so you'll just have to listen. Make sure everyone checks out our event Friday July 31st at Celery City in downtown Sanford! 2 free beers and a shot! If thats not incentive, i don't know what is.Music Featured in the Show:Outta My Mind - The Arcs / Leave a Trace - Chvrches / Ride Wit Me - T.I. / Burning Our Morals Away - Slaves/ Heavy is the Heart - Zac Brown B

Show number 50, we are officially over the hill! Sorry, dad joke. I'm gonna cut to the chase, we had absolutely nothing planned for this show. It was 100% off the cuff. So enjoy the ramblings of three drunken idiot friends. After all, that's what this show is based off right? Make sure you check out our 1 year event on Facebook! It's going to be at Celery City in downtown sanford on July 31st. We can already guarantee you 1 free beer and 1 free shot! Make sure to keep track to see what else we have in the works for you. See you guys next week for show number 51! Oh so close to that 1 year mark of 52 shows!Music Featured in the Show:Monsters - Matchbook Romance / I Told Her I Invented Times New Roman - Dance Gavin Dance / Martyrs - August Burns Red / Got Money - Lil Wayne / The Future Freaks Me Out - Motion City Soundtrack  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Welcome back! It feels good to be back in studio and have the guys back together! As you may know (or don't) Paul was on vacation last week, which was why there was no live show. Obviously the first thing we dive into is Paul's trip. Only Paul would pay for a hotel and then not stay in it. Not only does he choose to sleep in his car, he also gets blackout drunk and meets a new friend! After vacation talk we fall back into the usual Monday night discussions. don't you think palm readers would make a good front for a happy ending business. I mean, sounds like there's money to be made! To close out we get a few stories from Jesse, some stupid, some we're really excited about. It's always a bit rough to get back in the swing of things after a week off but we had a good time tonight and appreciate all who joined us! We'll be back next week ready to go with all the innapropriate things we always have to talk about, see you then! Music Featured in the Show:High - Zella Day / Take Back the Power -

With Paul being on a trip to Tennessee, it's up to Zack and Jesse to hold the show together with our limited knowledge on how to actually record audio. We head Downtown to some of our favorite bars and give you another mobile cast. We talk about how old people are like lizards, as well as Hope Solo's uhhh "problems", and the legalization of Gay marriage, finally! We had an interview with a Canadian band, Autopilot, but were asked to redact it for some ridiculous reason. In true No Guarantees style we kept the audio and will save it for a rainy day.  Thanks again for listening to the show and we will be back next week with a regular in studio show. 

Show number 48! Man does time fly. Almost 1 year! We start this week with another one of Zacks medium experiences. It's about time he's honed his skills in. After our first break we bring it back with some of Jesses Stupid Stories. This weeks are just, muah! Also on the board tonight we talk about how hell can't be all that bad. I mean it has to be pretty much just a party life right? We dive into some cruise talk after that and Zack gets a liiitle ranty (To be fair, he has a bit of a point). We end this week with some vintage video game talk. Whats the best console and games to go along with it? Tonight was super fun and thanks to all that joined us. We won't be here next week but Zack and Jesse are planning on putting a mini show together so look for that! See you guys in a couple weeks! #NoGuaranteesMusic Featured in the Show:Head First In The River - Envy On The Coast / Supernova - The Devil Wears Prada / Welcome - Fort Minor / Cosmopolitan Blood Loss - Glass Jaw / Let It Ble

The show started like any other, dicks. At least thats what everyone in the room is telling me right now. I can't remember (by I, I mean Zack). Did anyone see the biggest movie in the world right now? Of course i mean Jurassic World. Paul did, which got us talking about our new favorite character, Dinosaur Consultant. Who here likes the internet? Well it looks like as soon as 2018 it will be available to everyone, everywhere in the world! What could possibly go wrong, right? Any ladies out there wear tube tops? Well maybe you shouldn't. for your own safety. Listen to the show and you'll learn why. This week was tangent crazy so I'm sure I'm missing quite a few topics in here, but if i told you everything now you'd have no reason to listen! So get to it! See you guys next week! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show:We All Float Down Here - Four Year Strong / Bad Habit - The Kooks / The Could Be Anywhere In The World - Alexisonfire / Image Of The Invisible - Thrice / Gone -

Mondays am I right?! Good thing it we're back with a brand new show! Does anyone have trouble drinking at the beach? Well Paul seemed to have a bit of an issue. Any tips feel free to email us at noguaranteesshow@gmail.com. Speaking of the beach and the sun, who buys good sunglasses? Literally all of Jesses are promo/free sunglasses. After the first break we discuss tattoos and when is it too much? Of course we mean on women and when they're naked. We had no direction this week so from that we went directly into Jurassic Park. To end the show we discuss how women periods sync and what the equivalent to men would be. which of course leads to more dick talk. What else did you expect? Well on that note, we will see you guys next week! Thanks for listening!Music Featured in the Show:Defector - Muse  / Right Now - SR-71 / Renegades - X-Ambassadors / Devil In Jersey City - Coheed & Cambria / The Ghosts of Beverly Drive - Death Cab For Cutie  / Call the show LIVE! - (4

Hey guys! This show is the 3 of us over at our favorite watering hole Celery City Craft over in Downtown Sanford. They were celebrating their 1 year anniversary and we figured we'd crash the party! Pretty sure we reached all time lows on this one, but it was a fun time as always. Thanks to our buddy Pizza Piesenberg for stopping by and joining us for the 3rd segment and providing us some nourishment from the gods (aka pizza...what else would it be?). Anyway, check it out and let us know what you think. As always, thanks for listening and supporting the show!-Paul

You know what they say right?...better late than never! No Guarantees proudly (and finally)  presents our mobile podcast straight from the deck of the Royal Caribbean Enchantment of the Seas. 28 minutes of utter chaos, but what would you really expect from this group?Enjoy! 

Hello, hello! Another week and another brand new No Guarantees! We dive into a bit of nostalgia this week with old school fast food toys. Who was your favorite? After the first break we come back hard with our go to subject, dicks. Zacks in particular. For the final segment we get all over the place. We discuss Fake Taxi (yooouu know), from there we jump into Jesse's Stories. It's as disappointing as ever. Thanks for tuning in guys, see you in 5-8 days!!! #NoGuarantees  Music Featured in the Show:Reapers - Muse  / Ex’s & Oh’s - Elle King / A Midwestern State Of Emergency - Silverstein / Lost in the Crowd - Bassnecter / Wild for the Night - A$AP Rocky  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Welcome back friends! I'm gonna keep this one short and sweet this week. Tonight was all about the cruise. We recap what was probably one of our most alcohol filled weekends. Look forward to a bonus mobile cruise cast also coming later this week. Plus, we will have a ton of video to help you relive the memories with us. Thanks for everyone that joined us in the chat room on Mixlr, if you haven't joined yet, get on it! See you guys next week with a brand new No Guarantees!Music Featured in the Show: Nightlife - Off With Their Heads  / Pigs Is Pigs -  Every Time I Die / Bitches & Marajuana - Chris Brown / Best Friend - Foster The People / Magnolia - The Early November  / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069  Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

After a week off we are back! We again apologize about no show last week but we did do a mobile show to make up for it, so make sure you check that out as well. It was a bit of a rough week for Zack, his house was broken into! Luckily we can still talk and joke about it enough to share with you guys. Once we get the serious stuff out of the way, it's right back into where we left off. We discuss our Cinco De Mayo holiday and get into cruise talk after. Honestly, I don't think any of us are prepared. It will probably be the most debauchery filled weekend we will ever have. Don't worry though, we'll do our best to record it. As per usual now, we finish up with some of "Jesse's stupid stories". Apparently this week though it should have been "Paul's stupid stories". Thanks to all those that joined in on Mixlr this week. We look forward to chatting with you all when we get back! Until then #NoGuarantees State Champs - Elevated / Straight Up -  Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies / Can’t Deny My Lo

Hey guys!Since there was no live show last week, we went ahead and recorded you guys a little bonus content. Enjoy it...or don't...I'm your fucking dad.