The Terri Cole Show

When something bad happens to someone you dislike, do you feel a little glee inside? Maybe a lot of glee?  Or do you cheer when the villain in a movie or TV show gets what’s coming to them?  There is a German word for the feeling of joy we get from the suffering or misfortune of others: schadenfreude.  The other day, I wondered: is there an opposite of schadenfreude? There is, and it’s called freudenfreude. This is when you find joy in the success and happiness of others. (It’s an English word created from a German word where “freuden” means “joy.”)  Today’s episode is all about why we experience schadenfreude, its high cost, and how to find real happiness in the joy of others. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/466 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m welcoming back frequent guest Andrea Owen to chat about the new edition of her book, How to Stop Feeling Like Shit: 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back from Happiness. We talk about aging well, not allowing shame to control us, and recognizing the importance of our own feelings. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/465 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you feel about New Year’s resolutions?  Do you like them? Do they work for you? Or… do you get to February and realize you’ve barely made progress on them?  If you aren’t a fan of New Year’s resolutions, you are not alone. Only 8% of people keep their New Year’s resolutions, and nearly 80% fail by February.  Not great odds.  That’s why today’s episode contains a therapeutically designed process to help you unpack 2022, honor your experiences, and understand your growth so you have clarity on the changes you want to make for 2023.  It’s my favorite sacred ritual to start the new year as it leaves me energized and clear about what’s ahead. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/464 This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. Cancel your unnecessary subscriptions right now at rocketmoney.com/terri. Seriously, it could save you hundreds of dollars. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you been wondering recently whether your substance use is normal? Do you find yourself drinking more than you would like, smoking every day, or taking gummies every night to help you sleep? How do you tell when using substances to cope with the circumstances of life becomes a problem?  If you have been asking these questions, you’re not alone. Recently, so many of my listeners have been writing to me with questions just like that.  I invited today’s guest, sober coach and friend Patty Powers, so that I can ask her all of the questions about substances that you have been asking me. Not only is she a friend who I have worked with professionally for many years, Patty was also the one who helped a very dear family member of mine when they relapsed.  Listen to today’s episode to get some clarity: When does substance use become substance abuse? And what can you do to support healing if you recognize problematic substance use in yourself or a loved one? Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/4

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who uses fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate you into doing what they want?  Or are you in that kind of relationship right now?  Then this episode on emotional blackmail is for you. I break down what emotional blackmail is and how to spot it so you can avoid being a victim of this painful, dysfunctional, abusive cycle. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/462 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is super special because I’m talking to my very own friend and strategist, Camper Bull. Back when I was promoting the Boundary Boss book, I was skeptical that working with a strategist would make a difference. When one of my team members recommended I meet with Camper, I was blown away by his expertise and ability to hold space and make it accessible.  Camper worked with my team for 6 months to help us understand what it takes to run a successful book launch. In our interview, he shares some of the secrets to his own success– Plus, we chat about some of the changes that have helped Team TC run so much more smoothly since I started working with Camper!  Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/461 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever confided in someone you wanted comfort from only to be told… “It could be worse.” “At least it wasn’t X, Y, or Z!” “Look on the bright side…” “I don’t know why you are making such a big deal…” These are all examples of emotional invalidation. Maybe you’ve even said these things to others, unintentionally invalidating them. This is common if we're high-functioning codependents and other people's distress causes us distress. But even if your heart is in the right place, emotional invalidation can damage your relationships. That’s why in today’s episode, I’m breaking down what emotional invalidation is, discussing why so many of us are emotional invalidators and offering ways to emotionally validate our loved ones so that we can strengthen our relationships. Read the show notes for this episode at terricole.com/460 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I am an empath and a highly sensitive person. That’s why I was so excited to speak with Alissa Boyer, a mentor who coaches highly sensitive people on their journeys to spiritual growth and greater self love. We chat about how HSPs can be kind to themselves even when the world is set up to overwhelm them and how to avoid people-pleasing when you are sensitive to others’ desires. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/459 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel mentally exhausted? Foggy-brained? Forgetful? Like even doing the smallest task feels like moving through mud?  If so, cognitive fatigue could be to blame.  In this episode, I break down what cognitive fatigue is and what it might feel like. I also give you some ideas on what might cause cognitive fatigue and what you can do to start healing. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/458 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I first met today’s guest about 15 years ago, when she was first considering leaving her job as a top Hollywood agent to begin a more fulfilling career. Now, Dr. Elisa Hallerman is a successful drug and alcohol counselor who uses her PhD in Depth Psychology and Somatic Studies to inform her work with clients. She recently wrote her first book, Soulbriety: A Plan to Heal Your Trauma, Overcome Addiction, and Reconnect with Your Soul to help people who she wouldn’t be able to reach through her traditional practice alone. In today’s episode, I chat with Dr. Hallerman about how soul-centered healing has the potential to help everyone overcome trauma and addiction. Plus, a guide to understanding your own soul journey. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/457 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you’re in the heat of a fight do you have a tendency to explode or say things you don’t mean? Or do you withdraw in anger and become silent? Both of these reactions to conflict are very common communication-blocking techniques. Effective communication is something we hear a lot about but often I think the meaning is unclear.  In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the top 4 communication blockers + giving you sentence starters and scripts to help. You’ll learn what you can do to break these unhelpful behavior patterns and work towards actually solving conflict with effective communication instead. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/456 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever wonder what self-love actually is, not just in theory or in a meme, but in real-life practice? Self-love isn’t a destination or just a feeling. It’s daily action steps and more of a way of life.  In this episode, I’ll cover how we can organize and break down our behaviors and practices in a way that is moving us into more real self-love. I’ll also break down five paths to curate more self-love into your daily routines. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/455 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself stuck in conversation hell at a family gathering? Maybe you have a nosy aunt who loves asking you super personal questions you don’t want to answer. Or a cousin who manages to dump all their problems on you at every party. Enough! Let’s get you some strategies and scripts to create better conversational boundaries! You can keep these in your back pocket for if and when these awkward situations arise, so you can enjoy your family gatherings and avoid conversation hell! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/454 This episode is sponsored by Zocdoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/TERRI and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, I’m chatting with my friend and relationship expert Silvy Khoucasian. We chat about holding firm boundaries to create nourishing, supportive relationships as you go through life– That includes understanding attachment theory, making your own choices about what aging successfully means to you, and setting compassionate boundaries with family even when it conflicts with their cultural expectations. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/453 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have people in your life who are so difficult and demanding that speaking your mind feels like it’s not even worth the hassle? If you’re nodding your head, then this episode is for you. I’m giving you proactive ways to approach impossible people and tips to verbally de-escalate situations so you can protect yourself from being harmed by future interactions! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/452 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, I’m interviewing author and well-being teacher Alex Elle. Her work, including her new book How we Heal: Uncover Your Power and Set Yourself Free, is all about helping others find their voice and create clarity in their lives. Alex invites us to rewrite our personal narratives to heal not only ourselves, but the generations that come after us.  Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/451 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you make a mistake, how do you talk to yourself? Is it the same way you would talk to a loved one or are you harsh and overly tough with yourself? How much is your worth connected to your productivity and what you can do for others? Do you feel worthy of love simply because you exist?  This episode is all about what self-love actually is and what it looks like in action, because there are a lot of myths out there (hint: it’s not just about getting a mani/pedi). You’ll learn some indications of having a deficit of self-love and ideas on how you can create more rock-solid self-love, because you deserve it, my friend! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/450 This episode was sponsored by Better Help. Visit https://betterhelp.com/terri today to get 10% off your first month! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, I'm sharing a fascinating conversation with Stefanos Sifandos. I met Stefanos through his wife Christine Hassler, a wonderful life coach and podcast host who I've known her for a really long time. After they got married and had a baby, I started to follow Stefanos as well. He has more than 20 years experience in the personal transformation space, and his work around love, sensuality, and sexuality is outstanding. He shares advice on how knowing yourself can help you become a better parent and partner and how willingness to surrender can open you to deeper intimacy. Plus, Stefanos shares his own story of healing from an unhealthy sex and romance addiction. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/449 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do signs of aging on your face or body concern you? Do you feel pressure to stay looking a particular way (as in, forever young)? If this is resonating, then you, my dear, are not alone.  In this episode, I’m breaking down different aspects of the aging process (it’s more hopeful than you think!) and giving you some ideas on how you can age gracefully and gratefully because when you really get down to it, it is a privilege to age! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/448 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m sharing a fascinating conversation with Rikki Cloos. Rikki is a writer and content creator with a captivatingly authentic passion for attachment healing. She shares insights and stories about anxious attachment from her own life: How anxious attachment behaviors can damage relationships, how you can stop those habits with work and understanding, and why it can make it so difficult to set healthy boundaries if you are prone to being anxiously attached. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/447 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices