The Terri Cole Show

Are there particular people at family, work, or friend gatherings you would rather avoid? Is it painful to interact with them because they ask intrusive questions or love to complain? Or do you simply find social gatherings tricky to navigate? Whether you are attending family gatherings, friend celebrations, or holiday work parties, in this episode I am giving you a few ways to get out of seemingly impossible social situations.  If you feel stuck between not wanting to answer a deeply personal question and not wanting to seem ‘rude,’ I have scripts for you. And if you are tired of people who tell inappropriate jokes or make rude comments, I have you covered there, too.  Ultimately, this is about your right to be selective about whom you share information with and focus on how you want to feel in these situations. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/566

**Trigger Warning** This episode contains a story about gun violence and narcissistic abuse. If this is distressing for you, please skip it! Katre has a phenomenal story of escaping a toxic, narcissistic abusive relationship that highlights the resiliency of the human spirit. She shares how she escaped, what brought her to the moment of needing to get out, and how she healed afterward.  Those of you who have experienced narcissistic abuse may see yourself in Katre's journey. She shares it to help others feel less alone because when you go through something like this, as Katre shared, people in your life may not understand the extent of the abuse. Many of her friends waved off her ex's behavior as emotionally immature.  But Katre was able to leave this relationship in 2018 and has worked on healing in the years since, even becoming a mentor and coach to others. If you can relate to her story, consider joining her Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1917430661795072/ Read the show notes for toda

What are the stories you tell yourself about the things you want in life? Do you have limiting beliefs, ideas, or thoughts about your capabilities and worthiness? Does it feel safer to long for something than to have it? Many of you have written to me wanting to understand, on a deeper level, what stops you from taking action toward the things you say you want. If any of this rings true for you, read on because I am talking about why many of us find wanting more comfortable than having, and how we can get unstuck and take actions aligned with our desires. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/564

I am thrilled to welcome back my pal Dr. Perpetua Neo. She is an expert in high-functioning, overachieving women, as well as trauma bonding and abusive relationships.  In this conversation, we talk about the realities of trauma bonds, mainstream misunderstandings around therapy speak, and the pitfalls Dr. P sees in her high-functioning clients and what they can do to regulate their brains.  We end with a discussion about respecting our hormones, my experience with perimenopause and menopause, what Dr. P learned about her own cycle, fasting, and more. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/563

Are there people in your life who don’t respect your boundaries? People you can’t talk true around, who use your words against you later? People who don’t support what is best for you? People who take and take, leaving you drained? If you are nodding your head, you might need more discernment when it comes to who has access to you, and how much. In this episode, I am covering what discernment is, why being discerning with the people in our life is important, how to practice discernment, and how discernment can improve the quality of your life and your relationships. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/562

I had so much fun interviewing my pal Dale Moss. You might know Dale from The Bachelorette in 2020, where he got engaged after a few episodes and shook up the season. Dale is also a former NFL wide receiver and is currently exploring his love of storytelling and film by executive producing three docu-series, which he talks about near the end.  We cover his childhood, how the unconditional love he received from his parents influenced how he continued to show up in the world despite being the repeated target of racism, his experience on The Bachelorette, his current relationship, his love for his sister and the Special Olympics, and so much more. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/561

Do you feel frustrated or unsatisfied with life? Do you want more success? More abundance? Are there situations or relationships you wish would change? To be in a better (or different) relationship? Then this episode is for you. I am walking you through the six-step process I personally use to intentionally create what I want in my life on an ongoing basis. These are the same six steps I teach my therapy clients and students. Anyone can follow this process because it is all about harnessing the mind-blowing power of your own intention to create what you want in life with mindfulness (and action!). Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/560

I am so happy to have Rae McDaniel (they/them) on the show. Rae is a non-binary Speaker, Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, Coach, and Transgender Diversity and Inclusion Educator. They are also the author of Gender Magic, which came out earlier this year. Rae's style of teaching is so accessible and inviting, and we cover their backstory, setting boundaries while staying true to yourself, moving from fear into empowerment, finding chosen family, intimacy and friendships, and so much more. I love following Rae on Instagram because I always learn something from them, and I think you will, too. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/559

Do you have a difficult relationship with your maternal impactor or your mother? Do you suspect your mother is a narcissist?  Then this episode is for you.  One of the most-watched videos on my YouTube channel is about how daughters of narcissistic mothers can survive and thrive. I thought it might be time to update this for those of you just discovering the term ‘narcissist’ and what it might mean to have a narcissistic mother.  We cover the common signs of narcissistic personality disorder and what it is, how having a narcissistic mother may impact your life and your relationships, and ways you can begin to heal. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/558

I am so excited to have love coach Shaun Galanos on the show. I love following Shaun on Instagram and had the pleasure of meeting him at a Real Love Ready event we both did in Vancouver earlier this year.  We dive deep into how Shaun became a love expert, how he is navigating his father's passing along with a breakup, and he recounts the story of how he was robbed and what happened between him and the robber. We also talk about the reality of not being okay, how to be there for people in difficult times, and Shaun's thoughts on polyamory.  I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at http://terricole.com/557

Visit https://boundarybossworkbook.com/ to order the brand new boundary workbook that I mentioned in today's episode! When you say “no” to someone, do you often feel immense guilt afterward? Or do you second-guess your boundaries after setting them? I have seen a lot of my therapy clients sacrifice their boundaries due to guilt. But letting guilt sabotage our efforts to have healthy boundaries is a one-way ticket to Bitter Town. Boundaries are meant to protect ourselves and our relationships. They deepen our connections. Yet, many of us still feel guilty for having and enforcing boundaries. This episode is about deepening our understanding of post-boundary setting guilt. I talk about what you can do to combat it, how to tell if it is actually guilt you are feeling, and when feeling guilty may be appropriate. Read the show notes for today's episode at http://terricole.com/556

Jen Gottlieb is an expert in how to be authentically seen. Not just seen as in getting lots of publicity, but being seen as who you want to be in the world and pushing back on everyone's "shoulds."  After an acting gig that was so not her, Jen realized the price of not being aligned with who she truly was was too high to pay. She made it her mission to be authentically seen in the world, and in this conversation and her new book, Be Seen: Find Your Voice. Build Your Brand. Live Your Dream, that's exactly what she teaches.  We talk about navigating imposter syndrome, getting really clear about what you want in all aspects of life, how Jen "manifested" her husband and her apartment, why you need to create a badass list, how to slowly (but surely) gain confidence, and so much more. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/555

How often do you feel misunderstood when communicating, whether it be by email, in person, or text? Do you often feel like your messages are not received how you intended them to be? If you are nodding your head, then you know how unsatisfying it is when the person you are talking to does not get what you are saying. The good news is that you can learn to be a better communicator.  In this episode, I lay out a seven-step formula to ensure your side of the street is clean when it comes to communicating effectively and powerfully. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/554

I had the pleasure of interviewing best-selling author and talented interviewer, Kelly Corrigan.  We covered so much:  - Kelly's childhood dream of becoming a writer  - How her dad's unwavering support bolstered her - Her experience with chemo and cancer  - Kelly's reflections on her mom's parenting style and how she may have benefitted from it - Kelly's favorite interview questions and techniques. If you ever wanted to know more about her or simply want to tune into a thought-provoking conversation (thanks to Kelly's astute self-awareness), this episode is one you must watch! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/553

Have you ever wondered how to set boundaries without guilt? Do you second-guess yourself when setting boundaries? Or are you unsure of what boundaries you even need? Then read on, my friend, because in this episode, I am answering the eight most common questions I get asked about boundaries. Visit boundarybossworkbook.com to pre-order the Boundary Boss Workbook! By pre-ordering, you will get exclusive bonuses and send bookstores the message that boundaries matter! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/552

I am thrilled to welcome my favorite menopause doctor to the show: Dr. Mary Claire Haver.  I have been obsessed with following her on Instagram because she shares so much helpful information for free. I know menopause is a topic you wanted to see more of and I couldn't be more excited to have Dr. Mary Claire here to set the record straight.  For those who don't know, Dr. Mary Claire is a board-certified OBGYN who, after experiencing menopause and not being able to lose weight, went back to school at Tulane University to become a Certified Culinary Medicine Specialist. She went on to create The Galveston Diet, a three-pronged lifestyle plan that encourages fuel refocusing, intermittent fasting, and anti-inflammatory nutrition to manage hormonal symptoms, stabilize weight, and revitalize the body as it ages to provide benefits that will last a lifetime. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/551

Have you ever said, “I’ll start working out/meditating/eating better/going to bed earlier…” and didn’t follow through? Where next week comes, and you’ve either forgotten about it or no longer feel like making the change? If you experience this type of resistance and struggle to keep your word (to yourself and others), you are not alone. I was there in my 20s.  But it is a sign of disordered internal boundaries, which could be robbing you of potential.  In this episode, I break down the symptoms of having crappy internal boundaries and give you a 7-step process to kick resistance to the curb. Follow this process, and in time, you will reach your goals, feel better about yourself, and follow through on what you say you will do. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/550

I am psyched to welcome one of my nearest and dearest, master coach Josselyne Herman-Saccio. I met Josselyne during my talent agent days, and she has had a profound impact on my life.  Growing up, Josselyn's parents separated. After attending transformational workshops, they got back together. Josselyn noticed they were completely changed by the experience, and attended her first transformational workshop at age 11. It was at her nudging that I attended mine, which led to me leaving my talent agent career behind to become a psychotherapist.  Josselyn has taken the principles she learned in those transformational workshops to change people's lives. Her focus is on living the life you want NOW rather than a mysterious "someday" in the future.  I hope you find our conversation as fascinating as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/549

When someone comes to you with negative feedback, do you get defensive?  Do you automatically come up with reasons why you did something, building a case for the way you did it? Do you shift the blame onto someone else?  Or does your heart start racing? If this resonates, you are not alone. It is human to want to defend your choices, actions, and beliefs.  But defensiveness damages our relationships, which is why this episode is all about becoming more aware of defensive behavior and what you can do instead. I am covering the signs and symptoms of defensiveness, why we get defensive in the first place, and strategies you can use to become less defensive. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/548

I am so excited to welcome my pal, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, on the show to talk about her new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow and Thrive. This conversation is all about love: how we can keep our love strong, what to do if it's not going so well, daily practices you can start doing today, and so much more. Dr. Alexandra Solomon and I discuss relational self-awareness, family of origin issues, and the difficulties of dating in a modern world. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/547