The Terri Cole Show

Have you ever wondered why you attract the people you do romantically? Do you find yourself dating a version of the same person over and over again...only to eventually be disappointed and frustrated? Or maybe you are in a relationship and you are craving more- more intimacy, better communication, and a deeper connection? If you have ever thought amazing, epic love is for other people or the lucky few who happened to be in the right place at the right time, you are not alone. I used to think the same until I started diving deeper into therapy to understand my own attraction style.  In this episode, I'm teaching you how to identify your romantic attraction style, because it is an important aspect of understanding your romantic experiences which sets the stage for you to create and maintain healthy, vibrant love. Self-knowledge is power and I can attest that real love isn’t for the “lucky,” it is for the self-informed. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/367 Learn more about your ad choices

Recently, many people have been asking me to talk about addiction. During the pandemic there has been an increase in consumption of substances like alcohol, weed, and pills around the world as people use them to cope with difficult times we are going through. Today I invited a special guest, my friend Patty Powers, who is an amazing addiction recovery coach who I have referred my own clients to. We’re sharing our conversation about addiction, relapse, and psychoeducation, as well as Patty’s own incredible battle with addiction.   Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/366 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you feel about New Year’s resolutions? Did you know studies show that only 8% of people keep their New Year’s resolutions and that nearly 80% fail by February? Those aren’t great odds. Why is it so difficult to follow through with our New Year’s resolutions despite our best intentions? From a therapeutic perspective, resolution setting is missing an essential piece; honest self-reflection. For real, lasting change to stick, we need to look back, assess, and find evidence of what’s working and what’s not in our lives. It is only from a place of self-awareness and clarity that true transformation can happen.  That’s why in today’s episode, I’m offering you a therapeutic process to help you unpack 2021, honor your experiences and understand your own growth so you can clear the way for the changes you want to make!  It’s my favorite sacred ritual to start the year feeling energized, clear, and ready to take on 2022! Find the shows notes for today's episode at terricole.com/365 Learn more about your ad choi

Physical and verbal abuse are not the only kinds of childhood trauma that can impact us in our adult lives. Though often overlooked, childhood emotional neglect from parents who were overbearing, overly lax, absent, or dismissive can lead to adult difficulties with self-esteem, emotional literacy, and boundaries. Today I am helping you determine whether you might have experienced childhood neglect and guiding you through some steps you can take to heal now that you are grown up.  Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/364 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m excited to share a chat with my friend Latham Thomas, who is a celebrity wellness and lifestyle guru, doula, and educator. She explains the role a doula can play in a client’s childbirth village. We also discuss the Black maternal health crisis, and Latham shares how she became a doula herself and later launched her doula training program so that more parents could experience childbirth the way she did. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/363 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you stressed out of your mind from anticipating all of the needs of all of the people, all of the time? Do you go out of your way to indulge a particularly difficult family member so that they don’t explode and ruin the family gathering? If you find that you are always anticipating the needs of others, I might be able to help. In this episode, I’m breaking down what I call codependent anticipation and giving you some steps that you can take to stick to your side of the street a little bit more and stress a little bit less. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/363 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m sharing a girlfriend jam with Jennifer Pastiloff. She shares her takeaways about her experiences with the traumatic loss of a parent and her deafness and shared her deafness: How it led her write her book, On Being Human, how to quiet your inner asshole voice with kindness, and how to reach outside your bubble to truly be of service to other humans and feel connected to the world. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/361 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How hard is it for you to apologize when you hurt someone? Do you find yourself starting the apology with “I’m sorry you feel…” “I’m sorry you think…” or “sorry, but I was tired?” Do people feel understood when you apologize, or does it make things worse? In today’s episode, I am going to outline some bad apology habits and then share some tips for how you can avoid them in your life to give satisfying, authentic apologies when you accidentally hurt the people you love. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/360 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m interviewing Lindsey Ellison, a breakup breakthrough coach, author of two books, and podcaster. She gives us some advice about all things narcissist and how to break up without being broken. Plus, she shares her personal experience with discovering her own higher power helped her stop treating a codependent relationship as one. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/359 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you have to say no to someone, do you feel compelled to give them a long explanation of why you are saying no, or do you find yourself defending your right to say no?  How often do you find yourself building a case to convince the people in your life that you’re doing the right thing? When you make a choice do you want everyone to approve of your decision? If you're nodding your head, then this episode is for you. There is an important difference between convincing and providing context when it comes to communicating our boundaries and preferences.  In this episode, I'm breaking it all down for you, because the bottom line is:  You don’t have to convince anyone of anything.  Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/358 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m sharing a chat with my friend Elizabeth Earnshaw, licensed marriage and family therapist and director of A Better Life Therapy, LLC. She shares her thoughts about how the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted different types of relationships, gives tips for starting difficult conversations with your partner, and explains the importance of rituals in building reliability in your relationship. Plus, I ask her about the inspiration behind her brand new book I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age. Find the show notes for today’s episode at terricole.com/357 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If something is really important to you, can you go to the mat for it? Do you know how to negotiate and stand up for what you want? Or do you avoid the conflict and potentially end up living with regrets? Knowing when and how to fight fair for what you want is part of being a boundary boss and essential to living your most satisfying, self-determined life!  That’s why in today's episode, I'm walking you through how to pick your battles wisely, how to stand your ground, and how to negotiate like a pro.  Find the show notes for today’s episode at terricole.com/356 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m sharing a chat with my friend Dr. Alexandra Solomon, who is a clinical psychologist at northwestern university and expert in relational self-awareness. We talk about love, self-reflection, monogamy, and how the field of relationship psychology has changed in the last 25 years, as well as sharing our own experiences with self-awareness in our intimate relationships. I hope you enjoy listening to this interview with Alexandra as much as I enjoyed interviewing her! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/355 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're upset with someone about something, do you: Say nothing, but silently keep score? Talk to other people about it? Ice the person out? Send them a passive-aggressive or sarcastic text?  If any of those rang a bell, you are not alone which is why in this week’s episode, I’m breaking down the top 10 indicators that you might be suppressing and/or unconsciously repressing your anger.  Raising your awareness around when you might be acting out feelings of frustration or anger is the first step to expressing yourself in a healthier way. I promise you, learning these skills will improve all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself.  Find the shownotes for today's episode at terricole.com/354 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I'm bringing back an old episode by popular demand, a girlfriend jam with Danielle LaPorte! Danielle is the creator of The Desire Map series, “A heart centered approach to finding your true power”. She’s also the author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path, and The Fire Starter Sessions: A guide to creating success on your own terms, which also spun off into a coaching curriculum. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, over 5 million people a month visit DanielleLaPorte.com for her regular #Truthbombs and poetry. Danielle's website has been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” Marianne Williamson refers to Danielle “as a bright light in the modern priestesshood.”On today's show, we talk about finding real love, getting honest about secondary gain, letting go of the past, and much more.Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/231 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you think epic love is random?  Is it just a twist of fate for people in the right place at the right time?  Is real love only for the lucky?  The short answer to all of these q’s is...nope.  In this episode, I am teaching you how you can build a rock-solid foundation and infrastructure for a lasting, vibrant, EPIC love relationship. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/352 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you like to be more self-assured? You aren’t alone: So many of us want to live our lives with more confidence and less fear. Today’s guest, my long-time friend Anna Goldstein, has some tips. Anna is a certified life and business coach who tells it like it is, and she is going to share steps you can take today to dial into the part of you that is already more confident. Plus, she shares her own lifelong journey building self-confidence and how it inspired her to write her book Be Bold: A Guide to Unbreakable Confidence. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/351 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you ever tempted to look at your partner’s phone? Or if you’re dating someone new… do you ever feel an urge to peruse social media for a glimpse of their ex? Jealousy is normal...but only to a degree. If you or your partner’s green-eyed monster is rearing its head a little too often, then this week’s episode is for you.  I’m going to break down the differences between normal and extreme jealousy and help you locate the origin of a jealous streak so you can decode it, deactivate it, and move into more healthy ways of relating. Learn more about today's episode at terricole.com/350 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you confused about what it means to be codependent? Do you ever wonder what codependency looks like in practice? If you’re nodding your head yes, that’s understandable. In my experience, there is often confusion around the topic of codependency, with a ton of misconceptions and a plethora of myths clouding up what it looks like in real life.  In today’s episode, I’m delivering rock-solid clarity about what codependency is by showing you what it’s not. Ready for some major myth-busting?! Let’s go! Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/349 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m sharing an interview with Gabrielle Stone. She’s an actress, podcaster, director, and best-selling author of two books: Eat, Pray, FML, and her newest book, The Ridiculous Misadventures of a Single Girl. We have a long conversation about love, loss, and self-love, and Gabrielle shares the compelling story of how she moved on from being cheated on by her husband of two years to arrive where she is today. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/348 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices