Queen City Poly

On episode 45, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kay discuss polyamorous folx who have sexual orientation "preferences" for their partners, gender "preferences" for their potential metas, and the bi-phobia and bi-erasure that happens even within so-called, open-minded polyamorous communities.  Tune in to listen to us get real about this nonsense.  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay discuss the general consensus among the polyamorous community (ha!) about one-night stands. They answer questions such as: Would you be upset if your partner had one and told you about it afterwards? Do you expect to be able to have one without any drama from your partner(s)? What even qualifies as a one night stand? Have you ever had one? Can you enjoy casual sex and/or one night stands within polyamorous relationships? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

On episode 43, Coach Kay and Brian O'Neil discuss prescriptive versus descriptive hierarchy, relationship anarchy, and a special form of hierarchy, SNEAKARCHY.  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

In episode 42, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk nesting partnerships and the assumptions that come having or not having partners who you cohabitate with. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

You arrive to a bar and see your polyam partner in an embrace with a stranger. Their arms around this person's neck. This person's arms around your polyam partner’s waist. Just a couple of inches between their faces. Clearly they are in a flirtatious moment. The question is, is this acceptable because you are polyamorous? Check out Episode 41 - PDA and Polyamory to hear @iamcoachkay and @iambrianoneil discuss the nuances of flirting, showing affection, and dating when you have other partners that may have feelings seeing you doing any of these things in front of them. #polyamorous #charlotte #podcast #polyamory #nonmonogamy #communication #flirting #unconventionalrelationships #healthyrelationships #selfdevelopment #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships #relationshipstatus #health #dating #loveislove #queencitypoly --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

In episode 40, Brian O'Neil talks openly about being touched non-consensually following a recent standup gig after he talked about his polyamorous relationship style on stage. We sat down to talk about this experience as well as his experience sharing his story on Facebook.  Women are not immune to being the aggressor and perpetrator of sexual assault. Explicit, enthusiastic consent should be sought after throughout every interaction by the initiator of any and all sexual advances. But when that doesn’t happen, what can we do to communicate we do not consent in a way that feels comfortable in the moment?  #polyamorous #charlotte #podcast #consent #metoo #malesexualassault #standup #comedy #polyamory #nonmonogamy #communication #unconventionalrelationships #healthyrelationships #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships #relationshipstatus #dating #loveislove #queencitypoly  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/supp

In episode 39 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss examples of “seasoned” polyamorous people accommodating newly polyamorous partners with rules and agreements that threaten their own autonomy and do not serve their or their new partners needs. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

In Episode 38, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk about Brian's internet friend who is exploring the idea of polyamory but does not know how to get through to her husband, who is not having any of it. But before they dive into responding to that difficult situation, they discuss the popular mantra, Growth Happens Outside Your Comfort Zone. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

In Episode 37, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss Mark Manson’s blog article titled, Fuck Yes or No. The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them. Check out Mar Manson’s blog for the full article and then tune into this week’s episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

In Episode 36, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk about how communications preferences impact compatibility, including: requiring daily communication, feelings regarding small talk, preferred communication modes (face-to-face, text, phone), needs for intellectually stimulating conversations, sense of humor, passive versus direct communicators, and people who are either “too talkative” or “too quiet.” How does a partner’s communication style and/or their communication preferences factor into y’alls compatibility? Let us know! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

The unconventional path is windy one. Polyamory is a valid relationship style that is more than just having multiple sex partners. Monogamy is a valid option but not the only way to go. You can craft your own non-monogamous relationships and create the life you want, one step at a time. You may get lost, but the journey is more important than the destination.On episode 35 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil & Coach Kay talk about Red Table Talk’s recent episode on unconventional relationships. Did you get a chance to catch that RTT episode? What did you love or hate about it? Listen in to what we loved about this episode of RTT and what we thought of the conversation.Watch the Red Table Talk episode: ‘Unconventional Relationships: Can Multiple Partners Work?’ on Facebook Watch. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

On episode 33 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil & Coach Kay talk about the latest episode of Red Table Talk with Esther Perel. Watch the episode yourself on Facebook Watch and then listen in to what we loved about this episode and what we thought of the conversation. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

A viral tweet from late last year that continues to recirculate states, “The honeymoon phase doesn’t exist when you fall for someone who is dedicated to making you feel loved and admired the ENTIRE time you’re theirs. Stop normalizing the loss of affection in relationships, that is a choice, not a phase.” Check out episode 32 of Queen City Poly and listen in as we discuss this problematic pseudo advice for people seeking loving relationships. Find out what we think this quote gets right and what it gets wrong. What do you think? Does the honeymoon phase exist? Do we normalize the loss of affection in relationships? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

There are many reasons why we need more (and better) polyamorous representation. In episode 31, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss 17 of them! Do you have any to add? What do you think of the list so far? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

It’s hard to stay out of the way and watch a person you love navigate the perilous dating scene, making decisions differently than you would. It can be tempting to offer up all kinds of unsolicited advice and encouragement. You may believe you are just trying to protect them with helpful suggestions or suggesting new rules of engagement. In episode 30 of Queen City Poly, Coach Kay and Brian O'Neil discuss a scenario where a husband’s input on his wife’s dating life sets a dangerous tone towards codependency and inadvertent couple’s privilege, and how he might approach his feelings a different way. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

In episode 29, Coach Kaey and Brian O’Neil discuss how one manages their ethically non-monogamous identities while balancing all of their other goals and struggles of everyday life. When you are not actively dating (and have less than two partners) do you feel less polyamorous? Where does dating rank on your list of priorities? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

In episode 28 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey share some news about finger guns in the Charlotte comedy scene as well as Brian’s latest attempt at talking to a pretty lady. Then the duo discuss the recent controversy about B. Smith and Dan Gasby’s marriage. B. Smith and Dan Gasby have been public about their struggles following B’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis in 2013 and have even co-authored a book, titled, ‘Before I Forget: Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer's’. Dan’s latest declaration of happiness in his new relationship with Alex Lerner is sparking quite a heated debate from those who do not condone any sort of non-monogamous relations, Alzheimer’s or no Alzheimer’s. Read more about the controversial Twitter and Facebook backlash on Blavity. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

Is it possible to love more than one person? What roles do jealousy and attraction play in relationships? What makes a relationship work? Jubilee Media brought polyamorous and monogamous people together to discuss their beliefs on love in season two, episode five of their show, Middle Ground. In episode 27 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey talk about their experience watching the episode and discuss the conversations and topics in the video. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support