Tennessexee Podcast

In this bite I talk about revisiting House of Cards on Netflix. It seemed quite tame compared to real life when Season 4 came out last year, so I finally caught up on that and the new Season 5.  Ohhhhhhh mahhhhh Gawwwwwd. Amazing. The absolute underhanded shenanigans all over the place were insanely good, and Kevin Spacey's scene in the Oval Office with Kathy is absolutely incredible. 

In this bite, I talk about working out and how much it helps to actually eat properly! I always under-ate when I worked out thinking that was the way to do it - Nope! Gotta fuel your body and noticing big results.  Also protein coffee is awesome!

In this bite, I talk about disaster striking my 2 recent auditions to open for Tig Notaro, and to feature on Kevin Harts TV show.  1 involved a moron walking up to me 3 seconds into my set, the other someone screaming 2 seconds in. Disaster!   Safe to say, I didn't get either spot. 

I talk about: - Recent auditions for Tig Notaro and Kevin Harts TV show - Jay Jacksons AWESOME Comedy Cage Match show in Little Rock, AR, the beautiful bastard - Lisa Michaels and her wonderful Outloud show in Memphis, and how Michael Brown made me feel like a fraud Englishman - Nissan GTR covered in decals for an Orthopedic surgeon - Working out and eating properly - House of Cards on Netflix, and the utter lunacy of the show   Thanks! @SimmotheSimba

In this bite, I talk about finally learning how to eat a buffet correctly, eating a bit of everything instead of crawling out the door, and my relief when the kid in front of me didn't cough or sneeze into the food! Props to Pacific Fusion in Cordova, TN

Hey! I talk about a recent stand up show and compare my buddy Edison Hagan to a younger Kevin Hart.  Royal Bloods new album "How Did We Get So Dark" released, and I discuss a few of my favorite tracks, and talk about the Glastonbury Festival where Liam Gallaghers performance of Don't Look Back in Anger was incredible in the wake of the Manchester attacks.  The Foo Fighters performance of Under Pressure led me onto a mass Youtube escapade thru Freddy Mercury's career, from headlining Wembley Stadium to his untimely death in the early 90s. Absolutely in awe of that mans charisma.  And finally, I talk about going to a Buffet and finally learning how to do it properly!    Thanks for listening! @simmothesimba

In this bite, I talk about a story stemming from the recent blackouts in Memphis, TN.   It involves getting caught robbing a liquor store, in perhaps the worst attempt at criminality I have heard, where Americas Dumbest Criminals meets Hansel and Gretel

TennEssexee #8, is a real short one!!! There was a 30 minute nonsensical rant about politics amidst the British election and the Comey hearings which I cut when I realized "I have no f**king idea what I'm talking about"!  I do talk about playing mini golf commando, Gym Etiquette that felt more like being in Wal-Mart than the gym, where I somewhat got chased off of 1 of the 25+ ellipticals by a lady who did 5 mins and left, before a guy faced the wrong way on the bench and effectively had a stare down with me whilst I strained thru my last set!    And finally, a story from Memphis, TN, during the recent blackouts in quite possibly the greatest Americas Dumbest Criminals meets Hansel & Gretel story I've heard, which is the most #MemphisAF thing I've heard   Thanks for listening! ***Hugs, Fist Bumps and High 5's***   Simmothesimba@gmail.com IG: @Simmothesimba

I talk about the Netflix documentary  "Ruby Ridge" - a family of separatists who ended up being involved in a long FBI standoff, which is one of the most compelling things I've ever seen, some of the most f***ed up things I've heard of as the FBI yells for "Vickie", which is broken up with the Super Trooper looking cop who steals the show with his half a second of screen time.    ***Hugs, fist bumps and high 5's*** Contact: SimmotheSimba@gmail.com IG, FB, Snap @SimmotheSimba

Talking about going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled out, and wondering if the doc learned his craft in Guantanamo, the array of medieval tools at his disposal and the surprise drill/burning smell I wasn't prepared for! Also, I talk about the drugs they gave me and my previous experiences with Oxycontin, which is synthetic heroin, making me realize exactly why people get addicted. I still can't hear the Futurama theme song without feeling warm and fuzzy

Tenne7xee! This week I talk about: - Going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled out, and wondering if the doc learned his craft in Guantanamo - Drugs they gave me and my previous experiences with Oxycontin making me realize exactly why people get addicted - Netflix documentary Ruby Ridge, about a family of separatists in Idaho who were involved in an FBI standoff, which included one of the most messed up events as well as one of the most unintentionally hilarious things I've ever seen with a Super Trooper cop - Champions League final and Ronaldo's obscene scoring record - Me losing my temper without swearing, and the stupid "ask a dumb question" game that resulted in one of my best friends hurling abuse at me after talking about "Abraham Washington" Love to everyone in London after Saturday nights terror attacks. Massive respect to the emergency services.  ***Hugs, fist bumps and high 5's***     Contact: SimmotheSimba@gmail.com IG, Facebook, Snapchat @SimmotheSimba

In this bite, I talk about being bitten when my lovely dogs Gareth and Theo got into a fight a few months ago. Which means everyone all of a sudden becomes a nonsensical Cesar Milian, Dog Whispering expert. Plus I talk about Theo being a punky coward when he tries to cause trouble, barking and then hiding behind Gareth.    Thanks for listening! Contact: SimmotheSimba@gmail.com IG: SimmotheSimba

This one turned into a bit of a heart felt confessional!   I start talking about unsolicited Dog advice after being bitten when breaking up my dogs when they got into a kerfuffle, and move onto one of my best friends Danny being in town, I reflect on similar struggles we both had getting back into shape after leg breaks/ligament tears all but ended our soccer playing days, having a "purpose" and motivation to do things, both fitness wise and stand up, the Netflix documentary "Barkley Marathons" about an insane Ultra Marathon held near Knoxville, Tennessee, my polarizing week in standup that had a high followed by a dizzying low, and my music of the week is Canadian band the Flatliners (@theFlatliners) with an awesome rock sound and the rasping rock voice of the lead singer - "Hang My Head" was the song I couldn't remember! I wish I could make a note like that, let alone hold it!    Thanks for listening, please send questions, articles to read thru, comments etc to  Simmothesimba@gmail.com&

Bite from TennEssexee #5 - After hearing non-stop for a week about "Romphims" (Man rompers), I unintentionally launched into a rant about "Quirky" dressers with zero personality who will undoubtedly rush to buy the new unorthodox thing, compare it to the new Poprock Oreos, and how companies use wildly negative press to push their product - aka Ghostbusters. Plus I think my legs would look good in one of these things if I gave them a shave!  contact - SimmotheSimba@gmail.com IG: @SimmotheSimba

Bite from TennEssexee #5 - I talk about the absolute hell that is retail in the USA - both as an employee and as a consumer. Late night flashbacks to working in a phone store. Learning ninja moves to walk into a store without being attacked with greetings, and my utter disdain with the out of touch people higher in the food chain ordering the greeting attacks. Plus a few stories from back in the day. contact: SimmotheSimba@gmail.com IG: SimmotheSimba

Bite from TennEssexee #5 - I talk about walking thru the mall and being lured into a shoe cleaning on my brand new shoes, the confidence of the lies by the guy trying to sell me a product, and walking around with 1 soaking wet foot!    Contact SimmotheSimba@gmail.com IG @SimmotheSimba

In this bite from TennEssexee #5, I talk about the bewilderment at Youtube teaching me the proper way to do what I thought were easy tasks like scrambling an egg, peeling a banana (and how @Montarded ridicules me for eating them before shows, asif I'm shooting up heroin in the corner) and tying your shoelaces.  1,000 island goes on everything!!! Contact SimmotheSimba@gmail.com IG: @SimmotheSimba

I talk about eating a Baconator from Wendys which made me question my own mortality, feeling like an idiot when learning the proper ways to make scrambled eggs, peel a banana and tie a shoelace, being given a wet foot by someone at the mall kiosk, the hell that is retail shopping in America and how it has half taught me to be a ninja, a rant about Rompers/Romphims and how they are basically Pop-rock Oreos, and watching King Arthur at the cinema.    Thanks for listening!   contact: SimmotheSimba@gmail.com IG: @SimmotheSimba

A mini rant about baseball fans critiquing soccer players for avoiding knee-snapping tackles, no matter how unsexy the knee is   Thanks for listening!

I talk about the hilarious Freaky Friday comedy show (@Tommyoler) and switching jokes with the wonderful Basial (@Basialbasial) and what ensued.    "Any of you motherf***ers been to JAIL?!" is carved into my brain at this point!