New Life Live With Steve Arterburn

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses steps toward radical acceptance. While we often want to avoid sitting with difficult emotions or thinking about painful situations, doing so can be an important path toward achieving radical acceptance and emotional healing. I’ve had one session with a therapist, and she used a subconscious imprinting technique in our work. Have you heard of this approach? How do I talk to my 37-year-old son, who becomes defensive when I discuss his bills? My husband has also tried stepping in by paying his rent at times. What advice do you have for my 57-year-old husband who has ADHD and does not like taking his medications? He says his mind never stops racing. You had a caller on Tuesday whose experience with a man in her small group at church giving unwanted hugs reminded me of how men in my life have also behaved inappropriately.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim explains that when confronting someone—especially an adult child or a family member—we need to remain the calmest person in the room to have healthy, productive conversations. What can I do about my sister, who has guardianship of a child and two seniors, including my mom, but is excluding them from the rest of the family? Should I move my sister back in with me? She was in a car accident and placed in a residential home, but someone may be trying to scam her out of money. This is my second marriage. My wife recently accused me of having something going on with a former employee after looking her up on social media and saying she was attractive—how should I respond? My counselor and husband don’t want me to have a relationship with my family because I have bipolar disorder and they say my family tears me down. How should I handle seeing my brother after I gave him money to keep him out of jail, but he didn’t use it and kept asking for more?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui reminds us that so many people are living stressful lives because they’re confining themselves to a box that God never intended for them to stay in. Live in the space of freedom that Jesus came to allow for us. I have complex PTSD and I’m an introvert; do I need a coach or counselor as we head into retirement and move to another state? When you give it over to God, how do you make peace last? I am the dad of twin adult daughters, and I feel peace momentarily but then it’s gone. My 36-year-old son is an attorney and is considering suicide; this is his third attempt and I am on my way to see him. What can I do?

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ discusses that if you are experiencing loneliness and isolation, you should ask yourself: “Am I making the effort to reach beyond my comfort circle?” How do I detach—but still support—my 45-year-old daughter and my 2-year-old grandson who may be on the autism spectrum? My daughter and her husband are demanding support, including asking us to let them stay with my brother or give them my house. There is a man in my small group who keeps trying to hug me, and I am not okay with it. I am the youngest in the group, and he seems to target me. How do I love my 25-year-old daughter who struggles with mental health and has drained us financially? My two adult daughters argue, and it is interfering with our family get-togethers. How involved should I be in their ongoing conflict?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc shares five practical ways parents can stay connected and set healthy boundaries with their adult children—even when those children are making unhealthy or destructive choices. I have a family member who has no filter, and I feel constantly disrespected and judged. Should I confront them? My husband’s niece stopped talking to him two years ago and is now critically ill. If he’s already tried reaching out, what else can he do to restore the relationship? Should I say anything about my friend being paid under the table? She’s been doing it for 12 years—what’s the right response?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice explains how you can choose today to start divorce-proofing your marriage and shares practical tips to strengthen your relationship. Is it acceptable for me to move forward with a divorced woman who is the mother of my kids? I’m a new Christian, reading through the Bible, and wondering what it says about divorce and remarriage. I was an alcoholic, but now I find myself struggling with food addiction, which feels safer than risking harm to others through a DUI. I’m 53 and my husband is 71. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and has ongoing cognitive issues, but he refuses to seek help. How can I face betrayal from extended family I see every day? I feel mentally absent, yet I want to be present for my kids. My brother is dying due to poor choices, and my family is making me feel guilty for not caring. How should I handle this family grief and guilt?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares the promise that “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6).  If you struggle with loneliness or being a people-pleaser, remember to HALT: don’t get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. I’ve been a pastor’s wife for 32 years, and my gift is hosting events. Some people say I’m too much. How can I clear this hurdle? My extended family does everything together, but they gaslight me and often leave me out. How do I cope? My husband and I have three teens, and he always argues with our middle teen daughter. How do I balance being a supportive wife and mom? I have a 58-year-old son who sent me hurtful texts demanding I repent and go to his church, even though I live far away. My therapist thinks he struggles with mental illness. How should I respond?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui discusses the importance of developing a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. She shares how she used to say, “I don’t play sports because I’m not good at it,” but now approaches challenges with a growth mindset: “Let’s see what went wrong so I can learn from it and try something different.” Why have I replaced drugs and alcohol with emotional eating? Since getting sober, I’ve gained 70 pounds from turning to food for comfort. I discovered my husband was unfaithful. We’ve been in marriage counseling and tried an in-home separation, but not living apart. How do I begin living separately? In the past five years, I’ve experienced significant losses. Am I convincing myself that something is wrong physically? I’ve noticed memory issues and forgetfulness that concern me.

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ shares about a critical email he recently received that left him feeling disappointed. Those who struggle with an avoidant attachment style must be careful not to let criticism draw them back into unhealthy patterns. What do I do about all the confusing things I’ve been through? My wife had bipolar disorder, and one day she was cleaning a gun and pointed it at me. I left my marriage, but I’ve also had people pass away and now feel very lonely. My husband has been unfaithful with both males and females; I’ve forgiven him but told him he had to stop or I’d leave. Now I find myself choosing not to care; I feel like my heart has hardened. What do I do? I have a lot of regret that I didn’t get married in 1978 after my girlfriend left. I’ve tried to meet someone and talked to four therapists, but I still haven’t met anyone. Any suggestions? I feel sad and only have a couple of friends left who haven’t died. Is it right for me to use cannabis to manage my PTSD and chronic pain?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc shares how, during a counseling session, he suddenly experienced intense pain and had to be rushed to the emergency room. In the same way, real growth in life often comes when we’re willing to face painful or difficult situations head-on. I’m 70 and have been struggling with major depression for months after multiple surgeries. I’m in my third marriage and afraid I might lose it. What are my next steps? After 45 years of marriage, I am still a virgin because my wife doesn’t want any sexual intimacy. How do I deal with this unmet need? I’m blind and recently suffered a concussion. I have support, but I’m grieving the loss of my dad and feeling disconnected from my mom. How do I cope? My daughter, a single mom of five, recently married a woman. How do I show her love without condoning?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill reflects on the meaning of Good Friday and why it’s called “good.” Our sin is deeper than we often realize, but God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness are greater than we could ever imagine. My fiancée has asked for more time before we get married—how do I navigate relationship uncertainty and emotional stress? Our son and daughter-in-law have cut off all communication with us. I have many of their belongings and want to return them—should I hire a lawyer or handle this family conflict personally? We have legal guardianship of our 12-year-old granddaughter and 8-year-old grandson after she was sexually assaulted. What should I do after my grandson shared what happened with the neighbors? It upset my granddaughter and the neighbors.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri explains how the process of healing after trauma can feel like a lobster in the ocean—protected by a thick shell we develop after being hurt. I lost my husband in February after he suffered for years following a car accident, and I’m struggling to cope with grief. Should I consider surgery for ongoing issues with my eyes? I’ve had surgery before, but it didn’t improve my vision. I have ADHD and have been taking Lexapro and Adderall, which used to work well for me. But now, I feel disconnected from God’s voice. Do I need to adjust my medication?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses “Spy Wednesday” when Judas sold out Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. We have betrayed Jesus by going our own way. During Holy Week, let us dismantle everything that isn’t about eternal things. My husband of 39 years left me and gave me the responsibility of selling our home. How do I deal with the anger and resentment? I was put out of the house due to aggression toward my 17-year-old stepdaughter and was charged. Is there any way to reconcile my marriage? I’m 20 and have a child with a woman who also has a child with another man. I’ve tolerated a lot of disrespect—how do I set healthier boundaries?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses the Garden of Gethsemane and how Christ knew the suffering that was ahead of Him. In this world, you will face struggles. But as Christ prayed for the cup of suffering to be taken from Him, He said, “Not my will, but yours be done.” If pastors made themselves more vulnerable, would it help with church attendance? I brought someone to church, and he felt uncomfortable. I don’t fly anymore because I was on a plane that almost crashed. But my daughter moved 1,200 miles away and is upset with me for not coming to see her, along with other issues from the past. How do I know if Jesus has taken me through a healing process from trauma, or if I’m becoming depressed? I’ve been in therapy for a long time dealing with PTSD from my parents and am a new believer.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill asks the question: How do we do end of life well? In the last few years, Dr. Jill has experienced close friends and family members who have passed away or are on the verge of passing away. She’s seen how there’s avoidance until you can no longer avoid. What then? You have to lean in and show up. When people finally face what’s happening, God shows up. My husband confessed that female coworkers have been flirting with him, and it hurts me that he didn’t tell me sooner. It reminds me of what happened 15 years ago when he was unfaithful. How do I move on? I know my sister is lying to me; should I cut off my relationship with her? How can I support my girlfriend who has OCD in the healthiest ways?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky challenges us with an important question: What work do you need to do on your own journey? You can’t control how others perceive you or the choices they make, but you can take responsibility for your own healing and growth. My life is a mess because of my gambling addiction. I’ve lost everything, and the only person I could talk to about it committed suicide this week. What should I do now? My dad recently passed away, and I discovered my sister had been taking money from him. I feel completely lost and don’t know where God is in all of this. How do I move forward?

Caller Questions & More: Dr. Alice shares the story of a woman that she’s counseling who had an abortion when she was a teen and had to learn how to forgive her family. God wants you to move to forgiveness; it will set you free from bitterness and resentment. Are we to forgive everyone or just other believers? I struggle to forgive myself for the abortions I’ve had and other things. How do I mend things with my 35-year-old daughter? She said she’s going to take a break from us. I’m 60 and was kicked out of nursing school because of my anxiety; I was able to go to another school and graduate. What can I do if anxiety makes it hard for me to work? How much should I intervene with my 22-year-old cousin? She’s lived with me since she was 10yo, but she’s now pregnant and living with her boyfriend. I’m married and don’t have any kids yet, but I believe that children are an inheritance from the Lord (Ps. 127:3-4). Is my faith lacking if I use IVF?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares a story about a high school cheerleader who became pregnant and had to leave school. Many teen girls and boys facing an unplanned pregnancy consider abortion and feel they can’t talk to their parents or church for support. I lost my beautiful 14-year-old daughter to a fentanyl overdose five years ago and regret selling my family estate years ago. How do I live with regret? I’m a minister. Is it wise to introduce people to the Holy Spirit and ask them if they’ve talked to the Holy Spirit? Brian tells of a man with alcohol and sex addiction whose pastor discouraged therapy. Should pastors advise against counseling?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris shares a powerful insight on anger and fear—two challenging emotions addressed in the Bible. Reflecting on James 1:19, we’re reminded to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. How do I navigate life after being divorced for 3 years? I was gaslit, and it still haunts me. I filed a restraining order against my husband and am disabled; where do I go from here? My friend said I shouldn’t get back into work too soon. How do I deal with my older brother in an inheritance dispute after my mom died? He feels it’s fair to hold back money from me. I was looking at sexually explicit material 15 years ago, but I’ve stopped. Do I have to follow through with everything my wife says I need to do to avoid divorce? How can I support my sister and my 32-year-old nephew on the autism spectrum? He has a job and is very outgoing but cannot drive and wants to go to New York City by himself.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim shares about the Shema, Deuteronomy 6:4-9, and how it is one of the most often quoted Bible Scriptures. Families can base the foundation of their relationships on this verse, especially Christian parents. My friend is 39 and just learned that her father is not her biological father! Should she keep her mother’s secret? My son’s wife and their 18-year-old daughter won’t go to church with them; they were deployed overseas, went through a house fire, and wonder where God is. How does a couple work through this faith and family challenge? My mother struggles with alcohol addiction and is in a care facility for dementia, but she still tries to seek out alcohol. How do I stay involved if I’ve resigned myself spiritually for my own sanity?