Live From Love

Silence can be good, if it’s a comfortable silence. But when we are uncomfortably silent with our partner, especially in the bedroom, we lose the intimacy that is so important in our relationship. In this episode, I talk about the good and bad of silent sex. I share with you some real life examples of uncomfortable silence during sex and what it does to our relationships. Intimacy issues are one of the biggest reasons women come to me for coaching. Are you lacking intimacy in your relationship? The Archer and His Rosebud by Mindy Michele Michele G. Miller Mindy Hayes Silent Sex Queen - We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle Orgasm: Pleasure in the Final Frontier -  We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle This is Why Silent Sex is Awesome

Has your partner ever asked what you wanted in bed, or what felt good, or what you wanted to do next, but you had no idea what to tell him? You are not alone. Many of the women I talk to have no idea what they want in the bedroom, or outside the bedroom for that matter, because most of us were raised to put everyone else’s needs first. In this podcast episode, let’s talk about how to find out what you want in bed. It may just help you in all aspects of your life. Sources:  Lifehacker Verilymag.com

In this podcast episode, I talk with Andrea Giles. Andrea helps women heal from infidelity in her coaching program. We talked about how to build trust with yourself again after finding out you’ve been lied to. We talked about how to decide if you should stay or go in your marriage. This is an impactful conversation that I know will help so many of you. Andrea Giles is a Certified Life Coach who is dedicated to helping women use the trial of marital infidelity to change their lives for the better. She is host of the podcast, “Heal from Infidelity” and  encourages listeners from all over the globe to get up from off the floor and get moving toward the life they most desire.   She coaches from personal experience and is driven to show her clients that infidelity can be a springboard for massive internal growth and a marriage of peace and joy.  When Andrea's not coaching, you'll find her enjoying the simple things in life. She loves to read, kayak on the river in her backyard in Montana, play games with her husba

Do you fear pleasure? You might be saying ‘no’ but many of my clients do. Think about it. Do you take compliments well? Do you look at others who are pursuing their pleasure and think it’s frivolous or inappropriate? It seems paradoxical because we spend so much of our life in the pursuit of happiness. Where does the fear of pleasure come from? For many of us, it comes from our childhood. Children are the epitome of pleasure! But then we’re told to not be so loud, or not do that. And our brain begins to subconsciously equate pleasure with danger or even death. Listen to this week’s episode to see what you can do about your fear of pleasure.    Source:  Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. Wikipedia - Hedonophobia

When we get married, we often think that if we married the “right person,” then everything will be easy. This is simply not true. Every relationship takes work. In this episode, we’re talking about conscious partnerships. Let’s go through the 10 attitudes/behaviors that characterize a conscious partnership. Any relationship worth having is worth working for!   Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.

Do you think that your own desires are selfish? Most of us women do. We’ve been taught this by well meaning people either explicitly or implicitly. While our desires are not more important than anyone else's, they are AS IMPORTANT as anyone else’s, including our husband’s, our children’s, or anyone else in our lives. Listen to this episode to see how life changing it can be when we start to look at how being selfish sometimes is actually a good thing.

Do you remember what it was like when you were dating your husband? Every touch was electric. You felt alive, maybe for the first time. That was eros energy. The life-giving energy. The erotic energy. But now, after a few years and a few kids, do you still feel that way? For most of my clients, the answer is no. They have given up too much of themselves to their marriage and children that they don’t even know who they are anymore. Sound familiar? In this episode, let’s talk about how you can regain that eros energy. That energy that makes you feel alive!  The State of Affairs by Esther Perel

There is a Come, Follow Me lesson coming up in the youth program about the Law of Chastity. I feel that we need to be careful when we’re teaching our kids about sex to not use the fear or shame-based language that was used when we were taught about the Law of Chastity, because I see the results of that every day when I work with my clients. I know that we as parents and leaders are doing the best we can so I created a lesson plan for the youth leaders to know what to say and what to teach and how to say it in order to break that cycle of shame. I’ve also created a parent’s guide to help you talk about this upcoming lesson beforehand. Sex is great! It’s fun! And we want our kids to have that great sexual relationship when they’re married. But we also want to give them the information they need to make an empowered choice. To download the lesson plan and parent guide, go to: www.amandalouder.com/podcast/216/

According to a survey, about 2% of marriages are completely sexless. Or, according to another study, couples are only having sex 10 times a year. Now, if 10 times a year is agreed upon by both parties, then that’s great. But what happens when you don’t agree on the frequency of sex? In this episode, we’re going to take a look at 5 steps to create that intimacy in your marriage again. Passionate marriages take work but it is so worth it!   Sexless Marriage State of Affairs by Esther Perel What is a sexless marriage and are you in one? 5 Ways to start fixing your sexless marriage today

My clients often say that they don’t communicate well with their husbands, but actually, we as humans are really good at communicating. In fact, only about 7% of communication is verbal. We pick up on the non-verbal cues that our spouses are giving us, and sometimes we don’t like what we “hear.” So in this podcast, I’m talking to you pursuers out there. (I’m talking directly to the men today, but there are also women who do this too.) The pursuers are the ones who feel like when their wife says no, that just means try harder. You’ve already caught her since you’re married. Are you actually causing her to run when you chase her?

Are you disgusted by the bodily fluids of your partner? Maybe you’re disgusted by your own bodily fluids. If so, you are not alone. Many people feel this way. I used to. But did you know that it’s a learned response? And if it’s learned, that means it can be unlearned. In this podcast, we talk about why we feel bodily fluids are so disgusting and what we can do about that in our relationship. You won’t be able to go from “bodily fluids are disgusting” to “anything that comes from the body is good” overnight, but it is possible.    Sources: BBC News Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown Pubmed

Has sex become boring for you? Do you not want to have sex? Maybe you’re not having sex because there are so many other things that get in the way. So the question becomes, are you not having sex because you don’t like it or do you not like the sex you’re having? In this episode, we discuss how we can maintain that strong sexual connection throughout our marriage. Because life will get busy and you will be tired, but we’ll talk about some ways you can get back that connection again and sustain it this time.   Resources: Emily Nagoski TedTalk Ondina Wellness

In this episode, I’m talking with Jessica Farmer, a fellow life coach and friend, about how she went from being a peacekeeper to a peacemaker in her life and her marriage. She shared with us when she realized that what she had always been doing, what she thought she should be doing, was not letting her be completely herself. She was able to move from the peacekeeper that she had always been to a peacemaker that let her be who she was inside. Join us for this awesome discussion about how that change has improved everything in her life, including her sex life.   Find Jessica at: jessicafarmercoaching.com/ @jessicafarmercoaching on Instagram Podcast: When Marriage Gets Hard Go to https://jessicafarmercoaching.com/free-video/ to receive free training on  How To Stop Walking On Eggshells In Your Marriage

Are you reluctant to show any affection towards your husband because then he’ll want sex and you’ll have to give it to him? Maybe you’ve been told that when your husband has an erection but doesn’t have an orgasm, he is in actual pain. What if I told you that this is WRONG! Thinking like this makes women feel like we are just objects to relieve their desires. It doesn’t need to be that way. (And guys, women get this too.) Listen to this episode to find out the truth about blue balls and blue beans! RESOURCES: Medical News Today Daily Orange Priority Mens Medical

One of the questions I see the most in Facebook groups I follow is, “How do I know if my partner is turned on?” But I think that what they really want to know is the opposite. They want to know why their partner isn’t showing the outward signs of arousal like an erection or wetness. Let’s talk about what some studies have found about the difference between men and women when it comes to how our bodies react to stimuli and how our brain reacts. Because, as with most things, they are very different.    Sources: Come As You Are by Emily Nagasaki Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Happy Wife, Happy Life,” but my guest today, Glenn Lovelace, says that’s a lie. Listen to this episode to find out why he thinks it’s a lie and what we need to do in our marriages instead so that we can both be happy and fulfilled.  It’s great to have Glenn on to give us the men’s perspective on marriage. Both you and your husband will enjoy this one! You can find Glenn Lovelace at: Website: www.glennlovelace.com Instagram: @itsyourwingman

I recently watched a ‘horse whisper’ do a lay down with a horse. If you’ve never seen this process, it is amazing! But unlike horses, who constantly think, “Am I safe?” and look for things outside themselves to make them safe, we humans can find safety within. And when we feel that inner safety, then we can really open up to our partner and enjoy sex and our sexuality in a way that we haven’t before. Listen to this episode to see what it looks like when we don’t feel safe, what it looks like when we do, and what we can do to change it.

I get asked a lot about the rules of sex before marriage when you’re adult. Are they the same as when you’re a teenager? The answer is harder than a simple yes or no. As adults, it is more nuanced than that. Listen to this episode to find out how integrity should drive your decisions whether you are 16 or 46 and how that can make you more happy than if you just do what you “should.”

I get asked a lot about how to talk to kids and teens about sex. Unfortunately, I can’t make it less awkward for you, though if you’re comfortable with your own sexuality first, that can help, but I can give you some points to make so that you and your child know exactly what sex is and what to think about when they want to have it. My hope for you is that this discussion can bring you and your child closer together rather than farther apart when it comes to sex, even if they choose to follow a different value system than your own.   The Harvey Institute

In part 2 of my interview with Allen Turner, let’s talk about kink and BDSM. I know those can be scary words, even Allen admits to being put off by the terms at first, but when you get down to it, they really are quite freeing. If you’re ready to embrace something different in the bedroom, and find out why it’s ok, this is the episode for you. I know this one will spark a great discussion between you and your spouse! Latter Day Kink Facebook Group