Shot By Brock

If us humans are exceptionally good at anything, it’s overcomplicating life and our existence.  We are experts at thinking too much, adding meaning where there is none, taking offence where none was intended, becoming confused, befuddled and utterly discombobulated in the process. And the harder we try, the more we complicate things. The result is that we become misaligned with our values and our identity, and further away than ever from living a life of fulfilled potential. The French poet Guillaume Apollinaire famously stated that “now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” Could it really be that simple? Could the secret of being – and being well –  just be about letting go and stopping to simply be? In my latest podcast I spoke with author Jamie Catto, who was a founder member of the band Faithless, and who directed the Ram Dass documentary, Becoming Nobody. Jamie runs workshops, retreats and mentoring programs that aim to encourage us to lighten up and have

I have a favourite quote by the Swiss psychoanalyst, Carl Jung: “Beneath the threshold of consciousness, everything was seething with life.” This notion – that there is life beyond what we know in the physical world of systems and money and society and iPhones – is reflected in a drawing called Three Worlds by M.C. Escher. It depicts a lake with fallen leaves floating on it. Beneath the water you can see a beautiful carp swimming, and reflected on the surface of the water are the now leafless trees. What these two works, from Jung and Escher, toy with is the idea that at any one time, we are not simply inhabiting one world, but there are others that exist right alongside it. Indeed, with practice we can even tune in to other ways realities, by seeing past the superficial distractions up here on the surface of the water, and adjusting our own perspectives to recognise what lies above it or beneath it. In Polynesia there are fisherman who know the ocean so well they can navigate their canoes for thousand of mil

I stumbled across mindfulness pretty much by accident. In a typically low moment when I felt like there were no options left for me, I did the only thing I hadn’t done and turned my attention inwards. After a while I noticed things beginning to change – both in myself and in the world around me. It was a revelation, and I eventually learned that I had discovered – among other things – mindfulness. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change,” said Dr Wayne Dyer, and I had learned that by becoming aware of, and changing, my perspective I could not only affect the way I saw the world, but I could affect the world itself. If you smile at people, quite often, they smile back. Mindfulness is simple, but also powerful. I can be used to manage pain and stress. It can be used as a treatment for PTSD. And it is often seen as a near-panacea for a whole range of spiritual, mental and physical ills. It also offers the allure of other ways of being, and the exploration of other realms o

I am a middle-class white man, born and raised near London, England, and I have found life to be hard to navigate. I have found it hard to navigate, despite living in a system that has been created and established by people who look like me, for people who look me, over a period of many hundreds of years. So, if I’ve struggled to get by, and to make sense of it all, what must it be like for people who don’t look like me? What must it be like to navigate this life when the very structure of the society we live in is not only not designed by people who are different to you, but in almost every circumstance it has been designed to make things harder for you, and have even profited and exploited that difference? Furthermore, what if it has been built with the sweat, blood and broken bones of your ancestors? Ancestors who were brutally taken from their homelands against their will, and treated little better than cattle, and whose descendants have only been offered, at best, nothing more than a passing acknowledgem

Fear is a powerful thing. It can hobble us, preventing us from taking action and putting ourselves ‘out there’ when it manifests as “but what if I fail?” or “what will people think” or “what if I’m not good enough.” And it can cripple us in the form of phobias, anxiety or even fear of the unknown. And fear can also be used against us, as it has for many hundreds and hundreds of years. We are sold products on the promise that they will keep us safe from the bacteria on our kitchen surfaces. That they will stop us failing at life. That they will make us whole and happy, and prevent us from becoming nobodies with crappy lives instead of somebodies with all the shiny things we could ever dream of. But fear can be used for much more sinister purposes than just selling us stuff. It is regularly used to sell toxic ideologies. It is used this way by politicians throughout the political spectrum, and it has become a staple of modern campaigning – and more. Whole demographics of society can be demonized, and fear can b

If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention. That’s the oft quoted phrase intended to snap us out of our happy – yet ignorant – bubbles and make us take action. And right now it feels appropriate. The world is facing a health crisis in the form of COVID-19, we are being told by our leaders to stay indoors, yet people are taking to the streets to protest hundreds of years of wholesale oppression, injustice and racism, that has manifested in the killing of yet another unarmed black man by police officers. On the one hand, we have our own lives, and the seemingly unsurmountable challenges of getting by, making something of ourselves, and finding a sense of peace amongst the antagonism of commercialism, capitalism and success-porn. And on the other hand, we see a world on fire, the collapse of modern politics, and the voiceless taking to the streets and demanding to be heard. How can we balance our own inner peace and quest for happiness, with the anger that an unjust world demands of us now, in the quest to

There is this notion that in order to get ahead in life, to be successful and to receive our just rewards, we must sacrifice ourselves somehow. Working all hours at the office to prove our worth. Constantly giving, giving, giving. In time, money, energy, emotion and attention, to show that we care, that we’re worthy, loyal, or that we’re moral or somehow superior. But sacrificing ourselves like this ultimately has the opposite effect. It wears us down, burns us out, lowers our frequency, harms our energy. Not only do we become tired and unable to properly fulfil the roles and obligations that we believe we must give part of ourselves to, but we can become resentful that life isn’t easier, that we are receiving nothing in return, that we are being drained. Slowly but surely, bit by bit, life is no longer working for us, but happening to us, and our power becomes diminished. The sacrifices we have made for the job, the role, the obligations, have made us less able to carry out those tasks. And that hurts us. Bu

We don’t perceive reality the way it is. We perceive it the way we are. Through the filters of our personality, our ego, our experiences, our circumstances, and myriad other factors, all influencing how we interpret our surroudings and our place in them. Many of these influences which affect our view of the world – and of ourselves – are not us, but baggage that we have acquired along the way. Humans have a natural tendency to focus on all the things that are going wrong, often to the point where we become blind to the positive things that surround us. The beauty, the abundance, the wealth. And we fuel this attention bias by feeding on negativity – the constant consumption of news media, the constant obsessing over our weaknesses and our faults, the constant comparisons and judgement, the constant striving, and the constant focus on everything that we don’t possess, instead of everything that what we do. And life reflects this negativity back to us. The more we focus on the negative, the more we bring it into

We experience our own lives in high definition.  The frustration when we’re already running late, and we can’t find our keys. The moment of irrational hurt when we allow a throwaway comment from a friend to get under our skin. The dissatisfaction of not being where we want to be in life. The taste of that first cup of coffee in the morning. Those sounds and smells that remind us of holidays. This vast patchwork of feelings, emotions, sensations, macro and micro, makes up our lives. Birth and death, television and toothpaste, allergies and habits, sorrow and joy. Such an intricate mesh of details that only we are aware of. Because when we see other people, we see them in low definition. What they say and what they do. We don’t see the nuance, the daily battles, the struggles and the confusion, the same things we enjoy and endure day to day, and minute to minute. This makes it easy to judge others, and hard to be compassionate. It makes celebrities the target of cruel attention when they reveal themselves

A few months ago, I was lucky enough to host Dr Maggie Gilewicz as a guest on my podcast, to discuss her book How to Make Sure Your Life Doesn’t Suck. Her book is unique and well worth reading, and it also share a few common themes with my last book, Shine Manifesto. So she decided to return the favour and invited me as a guest on her podcast, and has graciously allowed me to share the recording with my listeners, too. We spent nearly two hours discussing a wide variety of themes.  We explored how how materialism Is driven by dissatisfaction. We touched on how, when we live life according to our own internal compass, instead of seeking approval, validation, affirmation or permission from others, we are much more likely to gain the success we crave. And we discussed how we need to abandon judgement and complaining in order to find beauty in life and lift each other up. Enjoy this wide ranging conversation, conducted via zoom under COVID-19 lockdown conditions.  Maggie’s website: www.drmaggieg.com

I meditate every day. I sit still with my eyes closed. I try to relax and focus my attention on my breathing. When I notice that my mind has wandered and I’m thinking about something else, I bring my attention back to my breathing. And repeat. And repeat. And keep repeating until my timer beeps, or I feel that it’s time to stop doing this. I’ve been doing it for several years now and I’m not sure what I gain from doing this. But I do know that by doing it I get to take a break – even if it’s just for a moment or two – from the constant stream of thoughts that inhabit my head. I get a short rest from the constant push and pull or everything that I’m supposed to be thinking of at any given time. I wanted to speak to someone about meditation and why it’s such a healthy and worthwhile practice. So, I reached out to Nelli D and Jim Martin, the people behind The Unusual Buddha. Jim literally wrote the book about meditation – it’s called The Practical Meditation Journal – and you can get your copy here. We chatted f

After my previous conversation about mindfulness with Michelle Butler, I wanted to explore the topic further. So, I reached out to Neil Seligman. He’s a mindfulness expert and former barrister who works both with individuals and also organisations, encouraging them to bring mindfulness into the workplace through his Conscious Professional consultancy. A conscious visionary and inspirational speaker, Neil has travelled the world sharing his thoughts on mindfulness and encouraging others to bring it into their lives. Helping people find clarity, balance and resilience – particularly in challenging times – Neil’s insights and training have helped countless people reframe their perspective in order to live deeper, more meaningful lives. Our conversation took in Neil’s own story, and touched on a variety of different subjects. Due to the COVID-19 lockdown it was my first podcast conducted remotely, something I plan to do a lot more of, and I’ll be speaking with a lot of interesting people from around the world in

When we have a thought or carry out an action, we create a connection between neurons in our brains. If we repeat that action or thought, then the connection gets stronger. And the more we do this, the more we literally wire our brains in favour of that behaviour or action.  If our thoughts are negative or undermining, then we move closer to creating beliefs that don’t serve us. If our actions don’t work in our favour, then we move closer to developing habits that can harm us. And considering that we usually think the same things, and follow the same patterns of behaviour, day in and day out, it’s not surprising that we get stuck into ways of thinking, beliefs and actions that, at best, don’t serve us and, at worst, actually harm us. But, as I discovered during my conversation with mindfulness practitioner Michelle Butler, if we change our routine and our thoughts, and introduce practices that are different to the harmful habits we normally follow, we can undo this mental wiring. We can literally reprogram

There is only this present moment. Our entire life – indeed the entire history of time – is made up of a long series of present moments. But we can only exist, and live, and take action, in one moment at a time.  And then we find ourselves in the next moment. And the one after that. And in each moment, we have a vast array of choices. We can choose action or inaction (though inaction is still an action of sorts). We can choose love or fear. We can choose cowardice or courage. We can choose vanilla or chocolate chip. We can choose to get up when the alarm goes off, or to hit snooze. We can choose a life that happens to us, or for us. Fundamental to all of these choices is our perspective. Do we choose an ‘outside in’ perspective, where we are subject to our circumstances, to the things that happen to us, to all the things that are beyond our control? Or do we choose an ‘inside out’ perspective, where we understand that our situation, our circumstances, and our view of reality, are based largely on how we p

When you step up to life, life will step up to meet you. But when you don’t engage with it or put the energy in, then life will happen to you. It will roll over you, drag you along behind it. You either take control of life, or it will take control of you. Life is like water flowing downhill. It will find its way to the sea – it’s essential destiny – one way or another. And you can either harness its energy, or you can be washed away. Admittedly, I was not the target audience, but when I read Leanne Pero’s self-help book, “Take Control” it really resonated with me. So much of what she wrote, inspired by the steps she took to take control of her life, seemed to reflect my own experiences. She talked about gratitude, about fixing yourself because no-one else can, and about being human. Having known her for years as a confident person – a leader – I suddenly saw her in a new light. And my respect for her grew almost instantly. I’ve always known Leanne as a dancer, and the businesswoman behind Movement Factory

For most of my life I was waiting to receive the rewards you get for keeping your head down and working hard. But they never came. Life was something that happened to me and not for me, and ultimately I felt powerless to steer it in a direction of my choosing. The result was that I ended up somewhere I hadn’t planned to be. But then I learned that if you change your perspective and your approach to life you can also change your results and the world around you. By engaging with life you can literally design it in a way that works for you. This is why I started writing my books and my blog, and recording my podcast. My latest guest was the photographer Ameena Rojee. She is living the values that I’ve talked about in so much of what I’ve written. She’s going out into the word and finding experiences that are transforming her life, and she’s documenting the process. This approach to life has seen her training at a Kung Fu school in China, walking thousands of kilometres across Europe on the Camino de San

Caroline Millington and I have been friends for 20 years. We studied for our postgrad in Features Journalism together in London, and since then she gone to write for some of the best known magazines to grace the shelves of the newsagent, before moving behind the scenes in television. Most recently Caroline’s become an author. Her first book, Kindfulness, is about recognising that you’re not a robot but a gloriously imperfect human. Her second book, which was published recently, is The Friendship Formula, and is all about… friendship. We got together for a catchup, to talk about writing books, finding yourself, and lots more besides in this rambling episode of my podcast. We go all over the place with this one, so I hope it’s as much fun to listen to as it was to record. Her books, published by Head of Zeus, are in any decent bookshop or on Amazon.

I’ve been trying to get my neighbour Karl Morgan on the podcast for ages, because he has a really interesting story. He spent years as a professional dancer in the West End, appearing in musicals such as Cats, and Guys and Dolls. And then he founded Movement Warriors (https://www.movementwarriors.com) with his partner Janine, a company that teaches youngsters how to dance, instilling them with confidence and helping them keep fit. But he also has an amazing garden. It’s overflowing with greenery and amazing wonderful heritage vegetables. Karl is a permaculturist. He has adopted a low-effort approach to gardening that puts complimentary varieties of plants next to each other, to create an ecosystem that is gentle on the earth and self sufficient. Some plants are there to support others, some are to be eaten, and some are to feed the earth. And the results are astounding. But there are parallels in the garden with Karl’s on philosophies on life. Borrowing from the Buddhist traditions, Karl finds his garden

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” said motivational speaker Jim Rohn, and this is advice that has stood Pip Jamieson in good stead. As the founder of the dots (www.the-dots.com) she’s made it her job to surround herself with good people. Everyone on her team has been carefully chose not just for their skills - she rates her data and tech teams incredibly highly - but also for their attitude. When the shit hits the fan you want people around you who will keep a straight, positive head, and seek to fix things instead of complain or blame. More than this, though, it’s clear that if you want to build something - something bigger than you - and to succeed in that process, you have to work on yourself. On way to do this is to surround yourself with mentors. When you’re taking a leap out of your comfort zone into the unknown it’s good to have people on your side who have already made that leap. We all need mentors, and these days there’s no excuse not to be able to pick the

Most of us live our lives according to what we think we are supposed to do. There are conventions and traditions, the well-worn paths of those who’ve gone before – and trying to do the things that will keep others happy – steering us throughout our lives. But the problem with these tried and trusted modes of living, is that they have been created and decided by other people. And what happens when we follow rules of engagement in this entirely made-up system which have been made up by others, is that we end up living a life that isn’t authentically ours. We exist within the parameters and values of others, and like wearing someone else’s shoes, we find that our life just doesn’t fit. Which is why it’s so important to find the empowerment to live our own lives, according to our values, and to speak our truth through the actions we take. Sometimes, though, finding a channel through which to express this truth isn’t always straightforward. That’s why it was such a pleasure to catch up with my friend Chrissa A