Conversations With Cinthia

Yesterday, Cinthia gave some specific ideas for examining and developing our own value systems.  Today she explores other exercises, such as a method from "Notorious Living" that involves creating a value system circle with sections for different areas of life.  This exercise offers clarity so we can more effectively apply our value system when making decisions.  Note-takers, grab a pen!

Today, Cinthia continues discussing the "nuts and bolts" of values and developing a personal value system. If you're not sure where to start, Cinthia suggests places to start, including the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians and a values clarification exercise she has used with groups.   

Are you aware of your own value system, and is your value system attached to your conscience? Are you able to interact respectfully with those who have different value systems, and do you know when to limit your expectations of intimacy in relationships where values are not held in common? Today kicks off a week on values with discussion of what values are and are not, their role in our relationships and function in society, and the importance of knowing and defining our own value systems.  Cinthia also addresses basic boundaries regarding the value systems of others.

Do you ever feel like a child in an adult body?  Do people ever indicate perceiving you to be emotionally immature?  The progression of years may force physical maturity, but emotional maturity does not always keep pace, especially when childhood environment or complications in the transition to adulthood make it hard to grow up.  Living as children in adult bodies is both painful and costly, but it doesn't have to be a life sentence.  Today is an eclectic mix of discussion on several topics related to becoming emotional adults.  Learn what principles emotional adults master and how you can start addressing these.

You can have pain for gain, Cinthia tells us, or pain in vain.  You just can't have no pain.  The third core truth behind the "be your own best version" teaching is that pain in life cannot be avoided, and that learning to manage it in ways that help turn it to beauty is crucial to becoming all we are meant to become.  As an example, Cinthia shares some deep pain she faced in her own young adulthood and how she made intentional decisions to draw strength instead of bitterness from her experience.  Whatever you are facing, the pain is real, but it does not have the final word.

Ah, change... It really is possible, at least if you are trying to change things that are yours to change.  But why is it so much harder than it sounds?  Where do we start to create effective change?  Cinthia discusses the power of beginning by changing ourselves, and beginning that by changing our own thinking.  

Dysfunction is never original.  It's been all over the place since Genesis, and it's become pretty predictable.  But your real design?  The one God had in mind for you when He made you?  That is completely unique and will never be repeated.  Today, Cinthia looks at the first of three core truths that underlie her battle cry to "be your own best version!"

Humans tend to struggle with time, often wasting it, other times wasting more bemoaning the minutes already wasted.  Yet time remains one of the most precious resources we have, especially since God spends those minutes with us.  Join Cinthia as she discusses her own struggles and insights as a hyperactive person stuck in time.

We often hear about the need to help young women become more confident, more empowered, more interested in science careers, etc.  Does it ever seem that we hear less about the hugely disproportionate number of boys in special education or diagnosed with ADHD, or the possibility that the educational system may be designed much more for the typical brain and body development of girls than boys?  Today's guest verbalizes concern that boyhood today is being treated as "a social disease that needs to be eradicated" and asserts that this attitude is part of what creates the problems that are eventually labeled as "toxic masculinity," etc.  Mark Hancock started Trail Life USA to give boys a safe place to be boys with other boys and men, to test themselves, to learn to value women and value themselves.  Listen as he and Cinthia discuss the need to be careful not to criminalize masculinity itself, and to give boys what they need so they can become the kind of men society needs.

The term "failure to launch" has become widely used to describe adult children who continue, or return, to live with their parents due to difficulty achieving financial and/or emotional independence.  While there are times when returning (or staying) home is appropriate, it can be difficult to keep these situations from becoming stressful, enabling, or even harmful.  Cinthia reminds us that the goal is never to let our help hinder our children from becoming all they were meant to be, and she discusses specific boundary ideas in various scenarios.

Parenting is a time-limited activity intended to help children become adults; ideally, parents then become friends and mentors to their grown-up children.  Lots of parents these days, however, are unsure how to make this transition or whether they should try.  What if an adult child is struggling?  What if the grandchildren are affected by the adult child's negative choices?  What kinds of support are appropriate?  Cinthia offers insight regarding what relationships with adult children should look like, how they can go wrong, why it can be so hard to change, and where to start.

If you've listened much to Conversations With Cinthia, you know that Cinthia encourages growing up emotionally so that we can live in the world as adults.  This is different, however, from losing the childlike openness to God that allows us to depend on the King and be part of His Kingdom.  Today, Cinthia looks at the attachment needs infants bring to the world and encourages us to re-awaken those needs in ourselves, this time bringing them to the God Who alone is the perfect Caregiver and Who alone can make us safe and whole.  

Jesus shocked his followers with his willingness to take time with children, holding and praying for them when He was expected to be doing "bigger" things.  Who are the little ones in your world?  Are they true children?  People with needs?  People who are struggling with a big world they haven't figured out how to handle?  Cinthia encourages us not to hinder any of these little ones from coming to Jesus, and she reminds us that sometimes we, too, are little ones who need to bring ourselves to Jesus.

This week's focus has been on suffering, and there have been beautiful insights and inspiring stories.  Still, on a day-to-day basis, how do we deal with mundane choices and practical issues while also carrying the impact of our suffering?  Relationships, self-care, and commitment to emotional freedom can slip while we are surviving.  Today, Cinthia offers practical places to focus while putting one foot in front of the other.  

Today, Cinthia continues looking at the biblical account of Job's life and offers beautiful insights we can take with us.  How can we utilize Job's wisdom when dealing with our own suffering or with the accusations of others?  How can we avoid doing the kind of harm that Job's wife and friends did?  Comfort and joy are coming.  Eternity will go on after our suffering, and the beauty will last forever.

Suffering raises questions of justice.  There doesn't seem to be an equation that explains who suffers and how; it isn't tied securely to our positive or negative behaviors.  Job's wife suggested he get rid of the problem by cursing God and dying.  Instead, in the middle of his suffering, Job took his protest to God, and he was brought into the mystery of God, Who also suffers.  The book of Job isn't just about suffering; it's about relationship.  Join Cinthia in looking at God, Job, Job's wife, and the friends who became accusers while trying to help their friend.

Have you ever suffered so deeply that you wondered why you were still alive?  Have you asked for answers, wondered if it's all your fault, analyzed the situation in desperation to figure out what was  happening and what you could do to make the pain stop?  You're not alone.  Today Cinthia begins looking at the book of Job in the Bible.  

Americans often take for granted our access to the Gospel, and we tend to imagine that most of the world now knows Who Jesus is.  Today, Greg Kelly, Executive Director of World Mission, explains to Cinthia that well over two billion people in the world today do not have access to the Gospel.  He discusses World Mission's efforts to provide and distribute solar-powered audio-Bibles in the languages of various people groups; he explains that most of the team members making this happen on the ground are members of the people groups being reached and native speakers of the languages being used.  Don't miss this discussion of unknown heroes of the faith around the world today and the passionate ways they are telling the people Jesus loves that He loves them. 

Like it or not, we each influence the world around us.  Sometimes it's beautiful.  Sometimes we lead others to wonderful, important places.  Sometimes in our best intentions we do more harm than we ever wanted to imagine.  Still, God uses us and our mistakes, even the horrific ones.  Cinthia continues looking at men in the Bible who influenced the world around them and discusses how our relationships with God shape the impact we have on the world.

What does it mean to be a man of influence, and what makes that influence positive rather than negative? Cinthia explains that men have the capacity to be the immovable objects that stand for what's important.  Join her as she looks through the Bible at men who had influence, including one that made a huge comeback after using his influence destructively.