Dr. Ross Greene

Unsolved problems can be hard to word...but if you want your child to respond to your efforts to gather information in the Empathy step of Plan B, some precision on the wording can be helpful. And that's not all Dr. Greene covered on today's program!

The Parents Panel covered lots of territory today, including the pearls of wisdom Panel members wish they'd been provided before they began their long journeys with their behaviorally challenging kids.

On this program, Dr. Greene spent some time talking with a mom whose son is diagnosed with ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and Tourette's disorder...a very tough combination. How can she (and her son's teacher) figure out which challenging behaviors her son can control?

After a summer hiatus, Dr. Greene responded to questions today, and there were some good ones! How do you know you're using Plan B? What if your co-parent isn't on board with CPS?  What do you do once your child is already in the midst of an explosion? Answers, of course, were provided!

In this first program of the season, the Parents Panel tackled the very tough issue of bullying.  But not bullying at school...bullying at home.  

On this last radio program until the fall, Dr. Greene answered some email and focused in particular on what might be going awry in a mom's attempt to use Plan B with her son.  Back in the fall!

On this program, a mom called in seeking help on her son's difficulties tolerating frustration during little league baseball games...but the guidance she was provided would help on other unsolved problems as well.

As the caller on today's program has discovered, one of the hardest parts of getting started with Collaborative Problem Solving is identifying specific unsolved problems (instead of challenging behaviors). But she seems ready to tackle that one now!  

Dr. Greene's guest on today's program was Robbyn Peters Bennett from the US Alliance to End the Hitting of Children (www.endhittingusa.org)...and this is one you'll want to listen to.

Well, this was our last Parents Panel until September, but it was a good one!  

Just because an unsolved problem doesn't set in motion a challenging episode every time doesn't mean it's not predictable.

What could be more important than homework? Lots of things! And trying to solve every problem at once is the surest way to guarantee than none get solved at all.

Making amends is fine...but solving problems so the child doesn't have to make amends in the first place is even better.

Well, not exactly...but your respective concerns have equal standing and both sets of concerns need to be addressed for a problem to be solved. 

Sometimes parents who are new to Collaborative Problem Solving are very hard on themselves for not knowing about it in the first place and feel pretty bad about what they were doing before. But you can't fault yourself for what you didn't know.

Solutions arrived at with Plan A -- through imposition of adult will -- are not only unilateral, they're uninformed...and that's a big part of the reason they often don't work very well.

The Parents Panel covered a wide range of topics on today's program...including the difference between "lowering" and "adjusting" expectations for a behaviorally challenging child.

It's certainly fine to ask a child how he or she feels about an unsolved problem...but if you want to solve the problem, gathering information about his or her concern or perspective is even better.

Two different moms called into today's program asking for guidance on helping their kids' schools get on board with the CPS model.  Their situations were a little different...but the guidance was pretty much the same.

On today's program we were reminded of how important it is to get a handle on a child's lagging skills so we understand what's really getting in the way for the child...and to nail down highly specific unsolved problems so we know what we're working on.