Dr. Ross Greene

Some behaviorally challenging kids don't like to be suprised by the topic and timing of Plan B, even when it's proactive. Better to make an appointment with the child...and even give the child the heads-up on the topic.

Parenting and teaching kids with behavioral challenges is really hard.  But there are things adults can do to make it even harder, and things adults can do to make it easier (not easy, easier).

Lots of callers on today's program, and we covered lots of key themes of Collaborative Problem Solving. One of the most important: when you're solving problems, you're not primarily trying to figure out what a child should do once he or she becomes upset...but rather solutions that will durably solve the problems that are causing the child to become upset in the first place.

On today's program, the Parents Panel heard from a mom who's son's academic difficulties had become problematic again recently...did he lose his motivation or did the academic tasks begin exceeding his capacity to respond adaptively?  That's what the Empathy step is for.

If a child's behavioral challenges are the result of poor motivation, then rewarding and punishing makes perfect sense.  But if it's lagging skills...and if the behavioral challenges occur in response to specific unsolved problems...well, you have some problem-solving in your future...hopefully, the collaborative kind.

A mom called in for help on gathering information in the Empathy step of Plan B.  And our emailers provided additional grist for the discussion mill:  How do you tell the world about your challenging child?  What if the adult is lacking some important skills, too?

The title of this program tells you about an issue raised by one of our callers.  But lots of additional issues were covered as well, including what to do if one parents is on board with CPS and the other isn't (yet).

Susie, a member of our Parents Panel, raised the topic of paddling kids at school, and the discussion took off from there...with some fairly predictable conclusions.

There are lots of things that could be slowing things down when families are implementing the CPS model...but it's good to remember that getting good at Plan B and making fundamental changes in family interactions doesn't happen in a week anyway. 

A variety of topics on today's program, thanks to our emailers, but what to do if the first solution doesn't work? That came from our caller.

That's the topic we led off with, but we moved on to other interesting discussions, thanks to our callers.

Sometimes grandparents have strong opinions about the manner in which challenging kids should be disciplined, and aren't so familiar with Plan B. What to do? The Parents Panel weighs in (on this and other topics).

On today's program, Dr. Greene responded to the email that has gathered over the past month or so. A variety of topics were discussed, including the need to identify specific unsolved problems, whether the CPS model is applicable to "imploders" as well as "exploders," how to word a neutral observation in the Empathy step, and the fact that vague concerns tend to lead to vague solutions. Very informative!

Lots of callers on today's program, and lots of good information, too.

We heard back from some prior callers today, who gave us updates on how they and their kids are faring with Collaborative Problem Solving. The news is good (but the work is never done).

"Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays the Parents Panel from completing its appointed rounds." Dr. Greene got stuck away from his office in a snowstorm when the program began, so he conducted this program from his car in a parking lot. Which isn't actually the most interesting part of the February Parents Panel, but does explain the long delay at the beginning of the program. We heard from a father who was having difficulty getting his daughter to participate in therapy sessions, and that was the most interesting part of the program.

What information is most important to focus on when you're trying to understand and help a child with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges? And how does one organize the effort so as to intervene proactively rather than reactively?

How do you make sure your child gets what he needs to help him overcome his social emotional and behavioral challenges? Why does the system sometimes fail to help our kids? Can young kids participate in Collaborative Problem Solving? What if a child is too hyperactive and impulsive to participate in Plan B?

Is Collaborative Problem Solving a good fit for kids with attachment issues? Should the model be modified in any way for such kids? These questions and more on this program.

How do I get my husband (or co-parent) on board with Collaborative Problem Solving? The Parents Panel has some ideas!