Cry-borg 009

We're joined by Ryan for Episode 33: "The Frozen Time". In this episode, 009 undergoes some routine maintenance, which of course means something goes horribly wrong.  Topics discussed include Clockstoppers (again), Yakuza shenanigans, the MBMBAM show, boob lady from Slayers, bittersweet Ouran memories, shitty balloons, Nyquil Driver, 007 hates mondays, child bothering, the ennui of 003, 009 factory reset, ambien in peanut butter, sudden acting syndrome, the most dangerous cargo, natural selection, worst radio, strained grunts, the speed of gravity, the 100-meter obliviousness race, anime john henry, "Slam That Pipe", time-stopping clown, and a season-and-a-half emotion refractory period.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Sean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitt

We're joined by Jess this week for episode 32: "Man Or Machine". In this episode, 004 spends most of the episode playing the highest-stakes version of rockem' sockem' robots you can imagine.  Topics discussed include boring opening, Easy Petepocalypse, gamer grandma, freefall airlines, forgetting what phones are, worst apartment, Tokyo drift into the castle, spookiness aura, owl scare, the power of 004's stand, obligatory Futurama joke, weird eyes surprise, just like Gilmore!, a robot made of basketball shorts, not how lightning OR trees work, Gilmore gets fucking murdered, placeholder lines, and wondering if maybe 004 died.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Jess' tumblr: http://severalbadpunslater.tumblr.com/ Jess' twitter: https://twitter.com/severalbadpuns Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's Twitter: https://

We're joined by Teddy this week to recap episode 31: "Monster Island". In this episode the cyborgs find a research facility that's making zombies and robot animals for... reasons? Topics brought up include comedy actor stats, alien furry husbands, the ownership of the word "morph", nightmare skill tree, moods about mouths, portals to the hollow Earth, failing the horror test, a horde of Sasukes, evil laser deer, worst driver 006, karate neck-chopping some wildlife, inter-shot teleportation, midday Resident Evil, more fetishes for the 007 list, the sequel to Big Hero 6, giant pinball bumper of lightning doom, 007 is fucking dead, hyperrealistic fish creepypasta, 002 gets shark vored, sci-fi original movies, Birdemic 3, hell aliens from the b-movie dimension, cyborg 009 but every episode it gets dumber, handsome zombies, load-bearing computer, and the Gamera song. Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, an

This week we're joined by Tim for episode 30: "Computopia", where the gang travels to a futuristic domed city run by a hormonal master computer. In this episode, there's sports talk, workout mistakes, the horniness of Shantae, Naruto children, hit British anime Wallace and Gromit, the benefits of nazi-punching, shakespeare-bot, casual dome city, off-model Tommy Pickles, a quick action scene, Dr. Suess professor, 3rd-rate muppet, passive aggressive AI, boxtops, crimeboy 007, 004 the skin harvester, impending het, Tex Avery takes, gamer jokes, nuclear mechazord family, shape-shifting blackface, Bob Jackass, oculus rift virtual love, correspondence course doctorate, and 7/10.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Tim's Blog: http://skarchomp.tumblr.com/ Tim's Twitter: https://twitter.com/skarchomp Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tum

We're joined by Tessa for episode 29: "The Blue Earth"! In this episode, 005 goes to his former home and fights the planet, who is a cat.  Topics discussed include ska concert parallels, play the Shrek song, the duality of concert-goers, fabric hell and dildo emporiums, sausage stand bag check, Sean goes off on hard cider, Kozumi is missing, a pup named 002, liver fistfight, free range oil, the telltale pile-driver, the most unlikable character, some weird straight animal, tomato asmr, dead bland husband, daily pokemon movie VHS watch, boobs up the wazoo, 005 has a religious experience in the velvet room, 1v1 me bro,ans  punching all the garbage into space. Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Sean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twitter.com/Chumpers

We're joined again by Marty for the conclusion to the alien children 2-parter, "Awakenings". The cyborgs travel to the alien children's home dimension to free their people and repel the invaders. In this episode, Sean discovers a new billboard, we get a new sponsor, Switch hype, Bowser dad simulator 2017, Zelda for furries, TAKE THE ROCK, noted indie game Bobmerman, babby.exe is shutting down, ancient aliens, violence IS the answer, Sean has shapes trouble, 002 in the piss dimension, some big assumptions, fear as a motivator, the subspace emissary, bazooka joe, the aliens hacked Grandia II, the perv couch, the precursor Naruto run, violence for violence is awesome, the saddest greaser, LIGHT POWER, and the twist that wasn't.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's twitter: https://t

We're back to business as usual, ladies and gentlemen, and it feels so good! Marty joins us for the first episode of season 2: "Little Visitors", where a bunch of weird stuff is going down and aliens are to blame! In this episode there's Schrödinger's Universe, mo' mods mo' problems, Jasper jeans, VHS rips and classic Cartoon Network, vaporwave in my cyborg, penny discourse, important 007 lore, bad bad CG, generic Africa, and truly fucked up civilian deaths. Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifier Sean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twitter.com/Chumpersonable Marty’s music: http://thearkhand.bandcamp.com/releases Marty’s blog: http://www.hardymartyparty.tumblr.com 

Mark and Sean are by themselves this week, and instead of the real episode 26, which is just a clipshow, they watched the 2012 movie "009 Re: Cyborg". It was bad and they didn't like it much! In this episode, Sean has a new microphone, the horrifying realization that 007 is one of the best characters in the movie, Gilmore is a monster, het plane sex, and Sean goes off on the state of Maine for soda crimes.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's Twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifier Sean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twitter.com/Chumpersonable 

We've reached the end of the season, everyone. Sean and Mark are fully out of their depths, having never watched any of this or any future episodes before, and are joined by new guest Jess for the culmination of the Mythos arc; Episode 25: "Mythos". In this episode, we hold a belated holiday special, Sean describes the worst thing he's ever seen, seriously how the fuck do we keep having poke-talks, Ducktales canon, Sean becomes an anime, Conan's hints are USELESS, MST3K commercial parodies, nipple rockets, suicidal overconfidence, hippo home security, Dr. Gaia's Mean Bean Machine, psychic battles instead of good characters, EXACTLY like Evangelion, replacing blood with Nickelodeon Gak, ancient Grome, Sean makes Mark cry, we celebrate the death of a child, pulling a Joe Pesci, the mechanics of sinking islands, and the rumor come out: Does Cyborg 009 Is Good?  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we

We're nearly done with season one, everybody! Teddy joins us for episode 24: "Artemis", some more fights go poorly and we find out about who built these cybergods. In this episode, there is somehow more poke-talk,  John Carpenter's Overwatch, Sean does some foley work and forgets how to talk, we take a Robotech detour, aim for the Rhydon's horn, how to be a psychic douchebag, Mario is Missing, VHS memory storage, snakes are a myth, idiot Gilmore, 003 and Liberal ideology, 009 the Tin Man, the dreaded antics, mystery hippo god, Pajama Sam flashbacks, taffy monster 007, we go full Iron Giant, and Caveman Gilmore.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Teddy's blog: http://wulfriciceberg.tumblr.com Teddy's twitter: https://twitter.com/TeddyArrives Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's Twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifi

We're joined by Lily again for episode 23: "Mythology Arises"! In this episode, the cyborgs take on the gods, and things go... well, they go poorly. We welcome the podcast guest that almost wasn't, think with portals, shoot to kill at small children, come to the horrifying realization that Achilles is both a furry and a No Man's Sky fan, and find the most bizarre example of product placement that any of us have ever seen. Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifier Sean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twitter.com/Chumpersonable Lilly's blog: http://www.spitblaze.tumblr.com Lily's twitter: https://twitter.com/bitsplaze

Today we're joined by Marty for Episode 22: "Attack of the Gods"! It's the end of the world as we know it, and we all feel fine! In this episode, Sean checks to see if you can mail wax lips, we have what is defintely the last poke-talk for real this time, we discuss the un-fucking of EVs and the un-grimacing of Fallout 4, who wants to smooch Jasper most, Ramona Flowers amiibo, Mark still needs to listen to TAZ, threeshadowing, flashbacks to flashbacks, Roman Catholic cyborgs, immigrants from the pokemon anime, vore: the true original sin, and the arrival of furries.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifier Sean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twitter.com/Chumpersonable Marty’s music: http://thearkhand.bandc

We're joined by Johnny for an episode all about completely accurate dinosaur depictions. Nary a laser in sight on these bad boys.  In this episode, we discuss the recent holiday, the finer points of spider biology, we have what may be our final poke-talk, we establish the new gender binary, truly terrible dinosaur drawings, Sean repeatedly wishes for a death battle between robotic 19th-century paleontologists, Johnny and Sean recall a shared childhood educational tool, and we boggle vacantly at possibly the worst "next time on" segment in history. Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifierSean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twitter.com/Chumpersonable Johnny's blog: http://frog-and-toad-are-friends.tumblr.com/

On this episode of Cry-Borg 009, we're joined by Ryan for the episode you've all been waiting for, "A Phantom Dog". People are spontaneously combusting in Tokyo, and 009 just suddenly has a dog, with no connection at all. In this episode, we break kayfabe, desperately avoid talking about the episode, Ryan and Sean bond over a mutual love of awful movies, JoJo continues to be weird, we rejoin with our friend the forshadowing hammer, 003 as sexy grunge Waldo, one pokemon-lookin' dog, the Balto tapes, David Fincher intercut with Homeward Bound, local celebrities the Math Dogs, 009 staring at a dog's asshole, casual death transition, people are very bad at math, a hit and hit and hit and run, cyber impants for dogs of child inteliigence, Clifford the Big Red Dog pre-evolution, Joe Pesci is instantly immolated, maybe the dog is Batman, Sean has a drink accident, and perspective gets well and truly fucked. Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send

We're joined by new guest Maxie for an episode that Mark and Sean have been hyping for a while, episode 19: "The Hero". Jet's living on his own and has befriended a little kid. The kid's mom, on the other hand, is not a fan.  In this episode, Sean beefs the intro, we invent a sci-fi harem anime, Sean and Mark get dick spoiled, we tell Maxie about that one time that 003 and 009 fucked, tfw all the gfs, You Have Died Of Sicknasty Dunks, Black Ghost the Casltvania boss, the Appalacian fall collection, trust fund 002, acceleration mode for teen sitcom plots, rememberin' wharfs, 002 as Ryo, bringing fists to a knife fight, Sean forgets when Black Friday is, cyborg juice, and Maxie's call drops like 3 times in 10 minutes.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Maxie's blog: http://maxiesatanofficial.tumblr.com/ Maxie's twitter: https://twi

Teddy joins us once again for episode 18: "Story of a Struggling Restaurant". We take a wild 180 in terms of episode content and go from high-stakes action to domestic slice of life as the cyborg team goes their seperate ways.  In this episode, Sean makes some election jokes that his future self has come to regret. we introduce the new segment Segatalk, The Ballad of Ken Penders, 002's apartment from Friends, Cooking Mama speedrun, domestic scientists, 005 being Very Obviously A Cyborg, and the rake stepping gag but with landmines.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Teddy's blog: http://wulfriciceberg.tumblr.com Teddy's twitter: https://twitter.com/TeddyArrives Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's Twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifier Sean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twi

Today we're joined again by Ghostric for episode 17: "The Final Battle". The cyborg team infiltrates Black Ghost's Australian base of operations and wrecks up the joint! So that's it, that's the podcast, I guess. It sure was fun. In this episode, Sean gives a 6 second eulogy, we pitch Ridley Scott's "Cyborg", discuss turning natural wonders and national monuments into kickass sci-fi bases, cyborg water, Skull the robotfucker, ordering Taco Bell at evil NASA, Undercover Boss: Black Ghost edition, and how CONSISTENTLY extra 002 is.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's Twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifierSean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twitter.com/Chumpersonable Ghostric's blog: http://ghostric.tumblr.com/

We're joined by new guest Ghostric, a MUCH larger fan of the Cyborg 009 series than either Sean or Mark, for Episode 16: "Breaking In". In this episode, Generalissimo Jontron returns with a fresh coat of paint and an ocean-themed throne to capture the cyborgs. Naturally, the cyborgs evade his grasp and- oh. Oh wait they were totally captured. Huh. In this episode, we discuss how time zones are bullshit, metric maladies, torpedo spooning, and Sean goes onto deviantart and proceeds to share the pain.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's Twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifierSean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twitter.com/Chumpersonable Ghostric's blog: http://ghostric.tumblr.com/

We're back with the second half of 008's backstory arc, joined once again by Tim for episode 15: "Goodbye, My Friend". 008 finds out that the mysterious cyborg man is none other than his friend from the revolution, and tries desperately to bring him to the side of good. He fails. In this episode, Tim succumbs to Toto madness, 009's memory is going, it becomes clear that whenever Tim guests on an episode I'm going to have to break out The Spanish Flea, and 009 finally finds his empathy shutoff switch.  Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Tim's Blog: http://skarchomp.tumblr.com/ Tim's Twitter: https://twitter.com/skarchomp Mark’s blog: http://www.avengifier.tumblr.com Mark's Twitter: https://twitter.com/avengifierSean’s blog: http://www.chum-personable.tumblr.com Sean's twitter: https://twitter.com/Chumpersonable 

We're joined by Tim once again for episode 14: "The Land Of Reunions". In this uncomfortably real backstory episode, we find out about 008's past, fighting for the freedom of his completely fictional country, and said country's current state as a resource-rich dictatorship where the citizens are worked like slaves! Fun times in our silly sci-fi action show. In this episode we talk about clown proofing your home, the mirthlessness of New Jersey, imagining a fire/fighting type boot stamping on a human face forever, Sean gets stuck in a demo loop, 3 modding truths and a lie, deviantart powerpuff girls edits, Gilmore's gross gross nose, overextended meta-vores, and Global Cyberpolitics. Remember to follow the official twitter (https://twitter.com/cryborg_009) for dumb bullshit, and also to send us questions!  We're also on iTunes, and we've set up a patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3829270  Tim's Blog: http://skarchomp.tumblr.com/ Tim's Twitter: https://twitter.com/skarchomp Mark’s blog: http://www.aveng