Wizard To Wizard

Paige, Kit, and Kenyatta shitpost for 80% of the episode and talk about Voldemort for 20% of the episode. What if Voldemort went around on Heelys all day? Also, what did he ACTUALLY want? WARNING: All of our episodes are NSFW, but this episode is ESPECIALLY NSFW. We make a lot of tongue-in-cheek jokes that are problematic in nature. If you have aversion to that kind of humor, maybe skip this one. If not, enjoy!

Kit, Paige, and special guest Kenyatta lay down some TRUTH for characters. HEY SNAPE? We actually don't have a lot to say to you. BUT HERMIONE? We have some pretty sweet wisdom for you.

Kit reacts to information about the wizarding schools not seen in the books (and Paige just relays that information). How can Japan, with a massive population, have the smallest school? Is the protection around the South American school actually good enough to keep the students safe? Can African children convince their parents that they're wizards because of this dream they had once? Find out in this week's episode!

We said it wouldn't happen again, but here we are: two days late with the episode. It was worth waiting for, though. Kit and Paige talk about how everyone living would impact the story. Kit takes Paige on a nightmarish journey through the prospects of Snape marrying Lily. 

In this episode, Kit and Paige spend more time talking about the 90s and muggleborn culture than Dean Thomas. But at least we know what his Pokemon starter would be....

Paige and Kit decide that Ollivander is probably a little unhinged and talk about the practicality of and implications of selling a bone wand to an eleven-year-old. Seriously, dude, what?

Kit and Paige discuss literary themes! Paige embarrassingly stumbles over a word and STILL doesn't get it right. (It's om-NI-shent, not whatever stupid thing she said.) For once, there is some self-control on the topic of Snape. Sorry for the episode being a day late, but now it's like a Thursday treat! Right?

Kit and Paige ramble on and on about how Voldemort slowly took over and ruined Narcissa Malfoy's life. That black, drab look just wasn't the right call for HER manor home.

Kit and Paige FINALLY GET EVERYTHING OFF THEIR CHEST! Your favorite worst person is the subject of today's episode, and all that can be said is: Do you like talking about Snape's probable hate erection?

Kit and Paige embark into a world thus far unknown to them: the world of sport! Today's episode is all about the history of Quidditch! We also take a crack at creating a better magical sport than J. K. Rowling. Do we succeed? Take a listen and find out!

Paige and Kit talk about their own headcanons, headcanons found online, and make a bunch of jokes. What was Sirius Black's favorite class? How does a Horcrux get made? What was the REAL reason Voldemort's curse backfired? All these questions and more are pondered upon!

Kit and Paige get informational as they talk about Professor McGonagall's backstory. She almost gave up magic for love, and maybe she wished she did after having to deal with the Marauders, the Weasley twins, and Harry/Ron/Hermione! 

Kit and Paige go over all the cool shit you knew and never knew about Patronuses! Discuss: Harry Potter is an idiot, and Aberforth remains as weird as he always was. Also, what happens when a Patronus backfires? It's pretty gruesome...

Kit and Paige get down and dirty as we discuss all the kinks a wizard might have. This one is pretty suggestive, so delicate extendable ears should be protected!

Kit and Paige consider the various reasons one might become a Death Eater in the first place, though the main reason is clear: fashion.