Beat Your Genes: An Evolutionary Psychology Podcast For Finding Happiness In The Modern World

In today's episode Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk answer the following questions: 1. My brother never does anything in moderation, for example if he starts working out, he'll organize his life around it, stop all social drinking and the like. Then he will eventually feel empty and complain he's burnt out. My question is, is he destined to live in this open-unstable roller-coaster ride, or can I give him some advice (perhaps Harry Browne style) that will help him find his place? 2. I've heard Dr. Howk talk about social media as a potential pleasure trap, and I was wondering if she could go into more depth on that. What are the circuits being hijacked? What advice would you give to a low-key social media addict?

In this episode, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk briefly discuss a recent article titled, "Harvard researchers help explain link between emotion and addictive substance use".  https://www.hks.harvard.edu/faculty-research/policy-topics/health/report-sadness-triggers-addictive-behavior They discuss addiction, relapsing, channel factors, Dr. Howk shares a personal story, and we answer the following listener question: Most of the people I know use chemicals to manage their lives as least in some aspects: coffee to wake up, alcohol for social lubrication, SSRIs when feeling down, and beta blockers for anxiety, even Adderall or cocaine for productivity and charisma and so on. Even knowing what I know, it's hard to resist the feeling that I'm leaving some competitive advantage on the table by not partaking. I assume you would discourage the use of most if not all of these substances. It it because you think they are all net negative in the long run, or do you find the whole concept puts the cart before the horse by trying

In today's show, we'll get the Dr's take on a recent study "Surviving and Thriving: Fundamental Social Motives Provide Purpose in Life" published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin." https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0146167219883604 We'll also go over these questions: 1. Where do New Year's resolutions come from?  Why start something Jan 1 vs. any other random day? 2.  Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss the most common New Year's resolution:  weight loss 3. What do the Dr's think about the work of Dr. John Sarno in curing chronic back pain using education of how the mind works as treatment? According to Dr. Sarno childhood abuse can lead to rage in the unconscious mind and brain triggers TMS or chronic pain to repress this internal rage and there have been hundreds of people who have cured their back ache after reading his book, Healing Back Pain

Today's questions are:   1. I’ve been married to a 90% disagreeable man for 42 years. Many times I’ve packed my bags but never followed through. I dream of being on my own, doing the little things in life without being questioned. As he has gotten older his drinking has become a problem. Every year finds me more depressed. How to know when to go? 2.why do men flirt? I am falling for a guy who is a huge flirt. I see him flirting with me and with other women, and he has a long distance, long term girlfriend who he is faithful to. Why does he flirt so much? Why am I falling for him even though I know he doesn't mean anything serious by flirting? 3. How do you deal with toxic and controlling parents who like to believe that they are doing RIGHT by continuing to control your life well into your adulthood ? Is it normal to feel that you have a hate relationship with your mother because of lack of support and love to you? As a daughter it feels awful to feel it this way but I can’t get over the fact that having a di

Today's questions: 1. Is it true that there are parts of the mind that we don't have access to, like a "subconscious?" Put another way, is there any information in our mind that we cannot reach down and consider with our conscious thinking? Some neuroscientists talk about thoughts as if they are served up to our awareness. But it seems like we can "direct" our thoughts. But can we "access" all the information and ideas that are in the darker corners of our brain's file cabinets? 2. You mentioned in episode 2 that people can also get depressed about their personal survival, like in the case of discovering they have cancer, but you didn't elaborate on what purpose that might serve evolutionarily. People in the Stone age wouldn't have known they had terminal cancer, but they might have a good sense that a disease or wound was almost certainly going to fester and kill them... What are the genes telling this person to do and why?  As a follow up, once a person can accept their impending death with certainty, shoul

We celebrate this milestone episode with some fun questions for Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk. 

Today's show we go over these questions: 1. If two people typically rate as 10/10 yet one is deemed more attractive on average, would that mean they're objectively better looking while being in the same tier? 2. Could someone who is genetically lower in conscientiousness maintain performance that would resemble a higher level in the trait? 3. Jimmy the guitar player calls in to the show

In today's show, we go over the following questions: 1. I think that you are absolutely right when you say that happiness comes from esteem, earned in the right way from the people that matter. It's really beautiful to me how that works. But on the other hand, I occasionally meet women who impress me a great deal, strictly based on their DNA- i.e., above-average looks, brains, and personality. Or, as you might expect, even just well above average looks. So my question is, how can attraction be such a profound emotional experience when so much of it is purely on the basis of DNA, and nothing that has been done to earn it? And in fact people are more impressed with someone when it appears that they are not trying? Is how we feel about ourselves based on what we earn, but how we feel about others mostly just a matter of their DNA? 2. How does IQ affect relationships? Specifically, a male having a greater IQ than his female partner, at what point would this cause problems in the relationship and how? 3. I am a re

Today's questions: 1. Does the myelin sheath development also apply to more purely mental abilities like reading and comprehension, or the ability to imagine and come up with inventive solutions to a problem?  For example, how much can learning and practice be helpful in growing infants and children? Will a baby that is spoken to for 5 hours a day learn to speak significantly faster than one exposed to only an hour of language a day? Or are parents kidding themselves when they spend so much effort to give their child an edge in cognitive development? 2. I'm a private person: I cringe when people air their dirty laundry or have what to me are very private conversations in the facebook comment section. I don't signal affiliation or loyalty the way most people do, and tend to minimize advertising even when it would be seemingly beneficial: I recall declining someone wanting to write an article about me back in high school because "it's nobody's business". I realize I'll always be like this, but the way you and G

In today's show, the Drs answer the following listener questions: 1.I was married to a man for 3 years who was a recovering drug and alcohol addict.  In any case, we have recently divorced. There is another man who I have known for about 20 years. We have recently reconnected and are exploring the beginnings of a relationship.I am noticing a heavy drinking behavior in the man in the new relationship. Its hard to tell because right now we are long distance and only see each other on weekends. So am I attracted to addicts?  2. I often hear the term "control" thrown around in pop psychology and fiction. It often turns up in dialogue like one person asking why the other did something stupid or self-destructive and the answer being "I just really needed to feel in control, just for a minute". Or there is the notion that people will calm down when given (the illusion of) control.  3. I'm male, early twenties, been on a whole plant food diet for about 1,5 years. Arguments I can handle (I'm pretty disagreeable), but

On today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk will answer the following questions: 1. Imagine a 20-year-old male.  Every day, he plays video games, eats Twinkies, drinks Mountain Dew, binge watches Netflix, mindlessly scrolls through Social Media, and watches .  What are the long-term and short-term effects of all this supernormal stimuli? 2.I feel like I’m stuck in a diet mindset where my internal audience won’t recognize any of my efforts unless I’m 100% compliant all of the time.   Considering all the crap other people eat, I feel like I should be able to have one meal a week that’s not 100% wfpb and still be fine and not feel all this guilt? 3. I understand your view on how to handle questions about "why do eat that way" etc however i am wondering about what to say when people say things like "Oh i really need to do something about my weight so i have just started eating low carb high fat". Or " i have diabetes so i can't eat pasta or potatoes." Lately my respone has been to smile and say nothing however i am l

In today's show we discuss the Evolutionary psychology of individual, group, and self punishment and revenge. How does this factor in to Hamilton's rule?  Listener questions: 1. Why do people seek revenge and compensation pain from a person who has angered them even if they lose as well? Why do people take an approach of 'I will hurt you back even if it means I get hurt as well' when they are in rage? 2. Are there evolutionary reasons for sending signals to the others by physically harming oneself? 3. Kind of a weird question but why is it so hard to convey to guys/male partners that they should simply put down the toilet seat after they are done peeing?  I find this conversation extremely unnecessary and childish however it seems to me that there is something deeper behind (evolutionary) otherwise it doesn’t make sense to me to make such a big fuss about it. I know it sounds dumb but thanks for answering! 4.  What is it about human social psychology that make Stone age tribes or "villages" tend to Max out ar

In this episode, we have an on-air session with a listener whose new boss micromanages everything he does. 

In today's show we have the following questions: 1. What are Dr. Lisle's thoughts on group therapy? What is the purpose if there is one and how would he apply evolutionary principles and esteem dynamics to group therapy? 2. My MIL treats her 4 granddaughters quite differently.  I am a disagreeable person who really values fairness. It’s hard not to comment or approach her when she treats them so different. Let’s not even begin to get into how many more clothes and toys (resources overall) she gets for her daughter’s girls. Is there a way for her to look at my daughter differently and allocate resources fairly? 3. Recently you described the Enlightenment Trap, which interested me greatly and I wondered if you believed there was some degree to which meditation practice was a means of beating the genetic disposition for egoistic drives for status enhancement. Robert Wright certainly seems to think so. I recognise that there are apparently many examples of pseudo- meditators displaying their practice conspicuousl

We go over the following questions: 1.  What is impostor syndrome? Can you change the perception of feeling like a fraud?  2. A dad's son climbs on a roof to look at his neighbor's nude sunbathing. Dad handles it, but mom is furious and thinks this is huge issue warranting psychiatric medications.   3.  A listener's boyfriend ended up at a stripclub with coworkers.  He denies he got a lapdance even though everyone else got one.  Listener wants to know if she is the one insecure and if a more confident woman wouldn't mind this happening.  And also if this is 'normal behavior' for men and so she should expect it from any future partners.  4. Does having more wealth increase the trait of openness? 5. What does the future hold for humans capable or not capable of thriving in the modern environment in the face of so many traps? 

The questions for tonight's show are as follows: 1. I was wondering how Dr Lisle reconciled two seemingly opposing thoughts I've heard on separate episodes. 1. CBT is an effective therapy to mitigate cognitive distortions and 2. The human brain/nervous system does an immaculate job of evaluating its effectiveness and status within a group. If our brains do such an amazing job of evaluating feedback from the group, why are cognitive distortions so common? 2.I've often felt anger when someone seems to misunderstand something, perhaps honestly and perhaps disingenuously in something that is approaching an argument. The feeling often keeps me from explaining exactly what I mean because I expect that the exact points of the disagreement are disingenuous so it won't matter and I will only regret justifying myself and "opening up". You've often mentioned that that communication in relationships isn't faulty the way most psychologist say, but you've also talked about getting crystal clear. So should I beat my genes a

We welcome to the podcast our newest guest, Dr. Jen Howk. We'll find out about who she is, how she got interested in Evolutionary Psychology, the work she has done, and her thoughts on a few select topics. 

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk, discuss the following questions: 1. My niece and I have been debating whether it’s safe for attractive young solo female travelers to couch surf. She believes that a careful reading of a host’s couch surfing profile enables her to spot would-be predators. What are your thoughts on this Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk? 2. Can you talk about what resilience is with regard to personality/the big 5?  Do you think that it is possible to help people develop resilience or grit?  3. I dated a guy for about 5 years who would never commit and cheated on me several times, though I did not learn of his indiscretions until after the relationship ended. I recently found out that he married one of the women who he cheated on me with after dating her for only a brief time. After our split was all said and done I definitely felt like I came out it with the better end of the deal, and I’m now in a relationship that has major *magic 10%* potential; so my question is: why am I so irritated abou

Questions for tonight's show are: 1. Why am I so stagnant? Despite doing poorly in practically all the dimensions of my life (romantic, social, pursuit) I don't take any effective action. I've done an immense amount of therapies from various modalities, worked with many therapists, including numerous other things to no avail. I stew and rage but don't do anything and I don't know why. I also like to feel like a victim so as to not feel the pressure of responsibility. 2. Your explanation of anger and guilt being mirror emotions really struck me.  Do you think there is always a mirror emotion like anger and guilt? Or is it rather mostly a spectrum like your explanation of depression and boredom, when related to stress? I would be curious to hear about more on categorizing emotions. 3.  I am a bit confused about when disagreeableness is seen as a negative and positive trait. You said agreeableness is a highly valued trait, and while it is clear that one would want a disagreeable lawyer, you also said that charis

We welcome back Dr. Jen Howk for her part 2 debut on the BYG podcast.  Dr. Lisle and Howk answer the following questions from listeners: 1. I would describe myself as a 9. I am pretty and fit. I am educated and have a great job. Since I have graduated college I have had an extremely difficult time with dating.  2. If I slept with someone that I like too soon and they are showing less interest in me is there a way to get their interest back? I remember one episode you mentioned looking your best was a way to do this which I am working on losing some weight. Are there any pyschological mind tactics I can practice in the mean time? If someone is actively ignoring you is it best to do the same? 3.  I have a question regarding the full moon on the female psyche The Mother of my two children becomes more abusive and more unstable during a full moon. Generally she is a pretty tricky person to deal with and tripping over some petty little trap opens a gate for verbal and sometimes physical abuse.  She often blames th