Recovery Elevator | Stop Drinking, Start Recovering. | Alcohol, Addiction & Life In Sobriety

Episode 390  - The Secret to Change   Today we have Jess.   She is 37, from Ontario, and has been sober since May 7, 2022.   Ditch the Booze Mindfulness Course starts 9/20.:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Recovery Fit – Paul Lapine.  Lapine Fitness Studio.  https://lapinefitness.totaltransformationtoday.com/ Insta:Paul_Lapine_   Highlights from Paul   YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT! Anyone who doesn’t quit quitting eventually creates distance from alcohol. “The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not fighting the old, but building the new.” Socrates. This journey is about transformation. It’s an invitation to create a life where alcohol isn’t needed. It’s about letting part of you go. It’s about saying goodbye to the aspects of your life that aren’t working,   Paul suggests fighting the old is a waste, and addiction is a messenger letting you know your life is out of balance. Desperation leads to surrender, which leads to openness and willingness.   Don’t resist change as it is one constant

Episode 389  - Journal Speak   Today we have Christy.   She is 42, from Denmark, and has been sober since April 5, 2022.     Costa Rica 2023:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica2023/     Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about “journal speak,” an informal, off-the-cuff style of journaling. The point is to get unprocessed, uncomfortable emotions out of you. It makes you feel less alone and more connected to yourself. This is a significant component connecting with the raw, unheard, vulnerable, pissed-off version of you. When you feel a craving coming on, this is one of the best times to do this because a part of you is screaming to be heard.   Paul suggests starting with 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night. Make it informal, with no spelling or grammar check, and toss or burn it when you finish. Generally, you will find that you feel better and have cleared your mind.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #spon

Episode 388  - Identity   Today we have Liz.   She is 55, from Bend, OR, and has been sober for five months.   Ditch the Booze Mindfulness and AF Photography. www.recoveryelevator.com/events   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Kris   After returning from a trip to DC, Kris realized that connecting his identity to his accomplishments is something he left behind. Presenting his achievements as a “Who I Am” was typical for Kris when he was in active addiction. Kris hoped that showing others the good in him might help him to see the good in himself. Approval seeking was directly linked to his self-worth and what others thought of him. This created conflict because Kris felt like he was leading a double life: the list of accomplishments he shared with others and the poor self-esteem that felt more like the “real Kris.”   Ultimately, Kris hit a tipping point that led to his recovery. During those early days, he identified with the bad things he had done while drinking. With treatment, c

Episode 387  - Why Some Make it, and Some Don’t   Today we have Becca.   She is 43, from Montana, and took her last drink on September 18, 2017.   Sober Travel Update – Costa Rica 2023. Stay tuned for dates. www.recoveryelevator.com/events   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul believes that taking responsibility for your drinking or choosing not to be a victim increases your likelihood of “making it” L.” listening to this podcast means that you are open to new ideas, pathways, resources, and a new outlook on life. Paul suggests telling yourself that you will make it or are already there. Awareness that you have a drinking problem is the beginning, then ownership of the solution.    Paul believes a drinking problem is an invitation to a new life. Never quit quitting. Paul says yes, you are going to make it. You are already making it.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                                                        

Episode 386  - The One Mistake People Make When Quitting Drinking   Today we have Shad.   He is 46, from Indiana, and took his last drink on March 19, 2021.       Café RE Open House Chat: July 16, 2016, at 12 ET. Join Zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83057111516? pwd=NlJyaFdtZ0RBYnhMaytxbkdRU2tMdz09 Meeting ID: 830 5711 1516 Passcode: recovery   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Don’t quit drinking without learning coping strategies, understanding why you drink in the first place, and get some tools for your recovery toolbox. Don’t sell yourself short on how rich your life can be without alcohol. Say yes, to as many recovery opportunities as you can. Books, podcasts, quit lit, retreats, spiritual teachers, music, chats, meetings. Some of it is work. These investments of time into yourself will pay HUGE in the future. A whole new world awaits you after the bottle.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored                              

Episode 385  - You’re Free   Today we have Steve. He is 34, from Boston, MA, and took his last drink on February 18, 2021.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Bozeman Retreat Upcoming Courses:  AF Photography and AF Mindfulness Service Project Courses: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored   Highlights from Paul   An elementary view of freedom is free will or doing what you want. A more rewarding form of freedom includes commitments, discipline, and boundaries for extended periods. Freedom also includes sleep, routine, forgiveness, being present, being of service, overcoming fear, and adding value. Freedom gives you choices; the most important choice is to be your authentic self.                                                                                 [8:40]  Steve has been sober for over a year. Steve’s parents were born in El Salvatore, and Ste

Episode 384  - The path of least resistance   Today we have Matt. He is 40, from Edmonton, Canada, and took his last drink on April 8, 2019.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Café RE Chats:  https://recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Highlights from Paul   Sobriety is the path of least resistance. Moderation was miserable, and drinking is killing me. Paul describes his own experiences with moderation and points out that with moderation, you continue to have decision fatigue and only moderately heal.    Moderation is often a step along the journey toward ditching the booze.   The path of least resistance means – you won't get a DUI or be sent home from work because you smell like booze. Your sleep improves, your liver health improves along with your connections and relationships, and you enjoy more fun (and skittles).    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [13:06]  Matt has been sober for

Episode 383  - Clearing space   Today we have Phillip. He is 46 and took his last drink on February 28, 2019.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Bozeman Retreat:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Early Recovery Podcast Guests:  email info@recoveryelevator.com   Highlights from Paul   It's hard to visualize a sober life when you are still drinking because your body is using every drop of energy to get rid of the poison that is alcohol from your body. Paul suggests once you ditch the booze, sit back and be the observer to watch your life unfold and resist the urge to control everything. In his eighth year of sobriety, Paul bought a home in Costa Rica, a longtime dream. After quitting, his life became a blank canvas, and now he is exploring his love for nature in his new home – which would not have been possible if he was still drinking. Paul feels connected to his inner child and is grateful for his life today.   In chapter 4, Paul wants to showcase listeners' talents. Feel free to send an

Episode 382– So now what?   Today we have Ryan. He is 40, from Denver, and took his last drink on January 7, 2013.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Bozeman Retreat:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/   Highlights from Paul   Recovery Elevator Newsletter:  https://recoveryelevator.com   Paul shares Odette’s wise words,  “we can’t be hard on ourselves when we do hard things.” He also examines those who abuse alcohol and the correlation with being hard on ourselves. Could the pace you are setting for yourself be driving you to drink?   Not drinking isn’t an activity. I quit drinking, so now what? You are making space for a new chapter in your life. A theme you will find in that chapter is your relationship with yourself.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [11:15]  Ryan has been sober for over nine years. He is the founder of Free Spiritual Community for addicts to break the cy

Episode 381– We are all addicted to something   Today we have Amy. She is 39, from Canada, and took her last drink on August 21, 2016   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about a book he is reading called, The Urge. It's about an Indian in the Seneca Tribe named Handsome Lake. He developed a program similar to AA about 150 years before Bill W and Dr. Bob created AA.    Connection pulled people out of addiction. The Urge:  https://amzn.to/37KVS3Y   Paul describes an experience at a Sauna in the hot springs where a group of men started talking about addiction. It began with one man sharing that he had ten years without a drink and moved to Montana for a fresh start. After he burned the ships, the other men in the sauna talked about their struggle to control substances beyond alcohol and drugs. When one person opens up and shares from the heart, it gives others a safe space to do the same.    Paul reminds us:  1) It's a challenging universe to live in; 2) we are all

Episode 380– What is Sober?   Today we have Shrene. She is 46, from Arizona, and took her last drink on September 10, 2019   AF Photography Class for beginners will start in August.  Details to follow. AF Ukelele Course #2 starts in June.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about the word sober.  For this podcast, sober refers to alcohol, because alcohol is what got Paul behind the microphone to launch Recovery Elevator.   Paul suggests not getting too attached to any idea of what sober looks like.  It’s not about the substance, but the freedom you have from the substance.  Try not to judge others for their definition of sober, because it’s rarely black and white.  When you judge others, you judge yourself and create separation.  Defining sobriety can be a fool’s errand.   Sobriety is living authentically.  Sobriety is not being a slave, to a substance, behavior, or action.   Sobriety is living your life how you want to live, living with a connected head and hear

Episode 379 – Service   Today we have Aaron. He is 40, from South Carolina, and took his last drink on September 15, 2021.   Jeff was interviewed for the podcast on episodes 104 and 377, has a book out, and is now leading sober travel trips. See links below.   Finding Bishop Castle: A Road Trip to Recovery -- https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Bishop-Castle-Road-Recovery/dp/0578882612/ref=sr_1_1?crid=350FVMX9SZBRI&keywords=finding+bishop+castle+jeff+bowersox&qid=1649339640&sprefix=Finding+Bishop+%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-1#customerReviews   Afterglow Recovery -  https://ourafterglow.com   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about the benefits of service and climate change in recovery. Service gets you out of your head and out of your story. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are released when we help others.   Climate change could save us as a species by forcing us to work together and develop a collective strategy. Alcoholics can help because there’s one thing

Episode 378 – Finding Grace   Today we have Susan. She is 46, from Ohio, and took her last drink on June 14, 2019.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Odette   "Whatever courage got you here is going to take you far." You are brave, and you have courage. Learn to trust yourself. Define far for yourself. The unfolding of healing takes time, have patience with yourself. Odette has two sentences of a poem on her forearm: "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." Those words are a reminder of her strength, courage, and perseverance.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [09:20]  Susan has been sober for nearly three years. She is speaking on the podcast to get out of her comfort zone and overcome some complacency in her sobriety.   Susan is married and lives in Ohio with a stepson and two dogs. She works for an investment company and loves the outdoors, the

Episode 377 – Your favorites   Today we have Jeff. He is 47, from the Dominican Republic, and took his last drink on December 4, 2016.   Bozeman Retreat:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Listeners provided highlights of some of their favorite episodes of the Recovery Elevator podcast.   330 – Learn to love yourself as your dog (or cat) loves you. You have a certain amount of energy and days in your life, and it is your choice on what to spend it on.   207 and 220 – Tom Topp inspired a listener to see social anxiety as a similarity. Another listener helped her learn that the body does heal from elevated liver enzymes without alcohol.   Another listener couldn't name one episode but instead said, sharing your story and recovering out loud helps shred the shame of addiction. It made me realize that I'm not alone, and together we can fight and overcome this!   370 Stephanie – a listener, learned to put the same energy into her recov

Episode 376 – You can be right, or you can have peace – Part 2   Today we have Ronda. She is 56, from New Orleans, and sober for 2.5 years.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   We are all human, with faulty machines in the dome. It's okay to be right or want to be right, especially in the moment. Sobriety teaches us that we must choose peace. We don't have to choose peace immediately, but eventually, we must, or we develop resentments. Resentments, for many of us, can kill us. Why?   Resentments separate us. Disconnect us. And what's the opposite of addiction—connection.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [10:23]  Ronda and Odette discussed the sobriety journey and celebrating the decision to quit vs. the date of your last drink. Ronda is from New Orleans and recently moved to Colorado. She has three grown children, and she is an anesthesiologist. She loves sail

Episode 375 – Decoupling   Today we have Amanda. She is 40, from Florida, and took her last drink on March 25, 2019.   The Bozeman Retreat has openings for men:  https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul discusses anxiety and decoupling. Paul’s tipping point was in 2017 when his anxiety or hangxiety was so bad that he thought he was having a heart attack. As he sobered up, the anxiety temporarily worsened, then improved dramatically. 85-90% of Paul’s anxiety is gone today. Anxiety no longer controls him.   Decoupling is untangling the thoughts, actions, and behaviors no longer serving you. Decoupling is a muscle. Start small and watch the momentum build.    You are the Placebo:  https://amzn.to/3M3ChKJ     Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [10:20]  Amanda is married to a military husband and has two children. She works as

Episode 374 – Then go back again   Today we have Meegan. She is 37, from Georgia, and took her last drink on April 21, 2019.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Addiction has the propensity to crack you open. We fight and dig our heels in, but eventually, the Addiction wins. This doesn’t mean you are destined to drink forever, but the Addiction cracks you open. Paul encourages listeners to use their energy to find what recovery method works for them. When you find it, go back again to the beginning. You will find that the messages you heard early in recovery have different lessons for you later in recovery. Go back again. Listen to those podcasts again, read the quit lit again or recovery books again, and do the steps again. You are a different person with a new set of skills,  experiences, and tools.    Revisiting those messages often provides a new value bomb.    Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                         

Episode 373– Control and Connection   Today we have Chris. She is 46, from Baltimore, and took her last drink on August 28, 2016.   Exact Nature:  https://exactnature.com/RE 20   Highlights from Paul   Paul thanks all the guests who have shared their stories to help us on the path toward sobriety. Paul wants to hear about your favorite episode or the value bombs that resonated with you. Please include the episode number if possible. Contact Paul at: info@recoveryelevator.com.   Support this AF bar - https://volsteadzeroproof.com/   How are you reconciling the elements of control in your life? Paul talks about our struggles with control at the macro and micro levels. Is the opposite of control connection? We have never been more disconnected.   Paul’s homework for listeners is to invite a friend out to coffee instead of placing your mental energies on trying to control things. Go on a walk with your dog in Nature. Learn to play the ukulele with us, go on a meditation retreat, join Café RE, call your mom, volun

Episode 372– The three stages of healing   Today we have Sherrie. She is 58, from Oregon, and she took her last drink on January 21, 2019.   Highlights from Paul   Paul explains the stages of healing have less to do with how much time you were drinking and more to do with how you view your problems.  “The Energy Codes”: https://amzn.to/3I9MgMh   The three stages of healing are: Victimhood – you are playing the victim card Self Help – you identify the problem, then solve it Creatorship – there was never a problem; drinking was there to help me. You take responsibility for everything in your life.   Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [13:52] Sherrie lives in Oregon, has two children and three grandchildren. She loves hiking, kayaking, house projects, and her dog.   Sherrie lived overseas during her childhood. She started working at 16 and drank because older workers never asked about her age. Drink

Episode 371– Define your sobriety   Today we have Cyndi. She is 52, from California, and she took her last drink on  July 1, 2021.   Registration for the Bozeman retreat opens April 1. https://recoveryelevator.com/bozeman   Highlights from Paul   Recovery is recovering the person you were meant to be or is the most authentic version of yourself. This isn’t a practice you want to end. It’s not a checkbox or to-do list item. Besides, if you stick with it, you will start enjoying this work.   What is success in recovery? Paul says YOU should define success for the most essential endeavor of your life. Know your why and write it down. Loving yourself and being okay with yourself should top the list.   Kala Ukelele: www.kalabrand.com/elevator - 15% off your first ukelele Better Help:  www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month                                                                               [11:12] Cyndi is married loves hiking, puzzles, and pets.   Alcohol entered Cyndi’s life when she w