Dr Karin Love & Life

During Lent, many people give up things to create space for contemplation, prayer, or to break a bad habit. One year, Kacie Main decided to give up men! Why? As she explains in her book, I Gave Up Men for Lent, “By most definitions, I lived a social, fulfilling life. I had a good job, great friends, and a solid family. Aside from the 30-something-and-single combination, my life was picture perfect. But that was just a filter, like how the right Instagram filter can hide the circles under your eyes. The unfiltered me was restless, uninspired, uncomfortable. Something had to change—a drunken make-out with my not-single good friend was the straw that broke the camel’s back. So, I gave up men for Lent—a 40 day cleanse in an attempt to figure out why I felt unhappy in my happy life.”Kacie and I discuss how to:· Discover yourself apart from your relationships.· Handle shame and regret.· Make choices for yourself—even when your family pushes back i.e. what developmental psychologists call “individuate” f

Every couple quarrels from time to time. But according to psychiatrists Dr. Phillip Lee and Dr. Diane Rudolph, arguments can become addictive! In their book, Argument Addiction: Even When You Win, You Lose, Dr. Lee and Dr. Rudolph explain how with some couples, heated conflicts, (just as addictions) serve to “make life more tolerable” by distancing them from deep wounds of rejection, frustration, and despair. Yet, as with any addiction, these ultimately prove horribly destructive. But, there is hope! Join us as Dr. Lee shares wisdom from his 30 years as co-head of Marital Therapy at Weill Cornell Medical Center. Learn the subtext beneath every marital spat along with hacks for how to readily dismantle damaging communication patterns—even if these dynamics have been in place for years!

We hear it all the time, “If you don’t love yourself, you’ll never be able to truly love anyone else.” Of course, it’s true. But where’s the owner’s manual for self love? How do we love ourselves when we don’t always feel particularly lovable? Or when the abuse and trauma we endured in childhood causes us to feel unworthy? Or when we’ve been through so much pain and heartache, our sense of self feels obliterated? Author and dating coach, Jonathon Aslay, believes the number one emotional health issue facing singles today is a deep lack of self worth and self love. Join us as Jonathon shares practical strategies for developing authentic self love (and a deeper love for others!) from his book What the Heck is Self Love, Anyway?Dr. Karin’s Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/ Jonathon’s Website: http://www.jonathonaslay.com/What the Heck is Self Love, Anyway?: https://www.amazon.com/What-Self-Love-Anyway-Jonathon-Aslay/dp/1092498397

Words are powerful. Sometimes, it’s that one phrase, that bit of encouragement, or that motivational quote—reminding us we CAN make it through the dark days and we CAN find our joy again! Because there will be dark days. They’re part of life; we can’t avoid pain, but we can dig deep. We can persevere! As Tracey Janowitz puts it, “Life is sweaty. Work it out.” Tracey created her apparel line, SweatySwag, in the wake of grief and struggles. In this third segment of our Women Making it Happen in Their Careers series, hear how Tracey took her pain and turned it into an inspiring brand encouraging women to believe in themselves, know their worth, and remember that when life gets sweaty, they can work it out!

We say it every week on Love & Life, “Take charge of your thoughts, take charge of your life!” And, we touch on strategies for doing so in almost every episode. But this week, I wanted to devote the entire conversation to negative thoughts—and what we can do about them! Psychotherapist Kate Lambie, LCPC, joins me to share therapeutic techniques from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). Join us to learn the counterintuitive process of accepting negative thoughts in order to move through them!

Recently a listener asked me, “What if subconscious beliefs are affecting my love life and I don’t even know it?” Great question! Our beliefs—even those we’re unaware of—absolutely impact our relationships in profound ways. To explore this topic in depth—and to examine how beliefs affect couples, too—I’ve invited marriage therapist, Elliott Anderson, M.A. (aka my brother), to share what he’s learned from 30 years of working with couples. Join us to delve into:· How our negative beliefs about relationships can inadvertently manifest exactly what we fear!· The power in identifying the meaning beneath beliefs, and how to reframe this meaning in a positive direction.· The importance of examining beliefs passed down from our family of origin—and how our single adult years facilitate this process.· Why we MUST keep our standards high in dating and in marriage!· What to do if we don’t truly believe we’re worthy of love.· How a therapist’s belief in a couple’s potential provides hope and emboldens the

Happiness—it’s about doing all the fantastic, fulfilling, fabulous things, right? Or maybe, it’s about NOT doing all the fantastic, fulfilling, fabulous things! As a thirtysomething writer and podcast host living in Manhattan, Jacqueline Raposo had fantastic friends, a fulfilling career, and she lived in a most fabulous city. And sure, she felt happy-ish, but something was amiss. In a counterintuitive move, Jacqueline decided her malaise might best be addressed by eliminating some of the things. Throughout the next year, she removed elements from her life for designated periods of time e.g. social media, sugar, shopping, negative thoughts, waste. What started as a personal quest for clarity morphed into a book, The Me Without: A Year Exploring Habit, Healing and Happiness. Join us to hear what Jacqueline learned by living without!

It’s easy to get discouraged if we’re single and we don’t want to be. We worry we’re wasting time—time we could be building into a fantastic marriage. But science shows we can actually work on our future marriage while we’re still single! Join Dan and me as we share psych research from Tara Parker Pope’s book, For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed. We dish on the following research-based strategies:· How keeping your standards high when you’re single sets you up for a stellar marriage!· Why communication is not necessarily the key.· Habits—establishing good ones and avoiding bad ones.· Sex, sex, and more sex.· The importance of creating excitement.· How the emotional work you do as a single adult prepares you to be a better, more loving spouse once you do get married.Even if you’re single for much longer than you hoped to be (as I was), know that no experience is ever wasted! Take a listen to learn tangible steps you can take today to build a

www.loveandlifemedia.com If you’ve been on the dating scene for long enough, you’ve definitely heard this one, ”It’s not you, it’s me.” Maybe it was the explanation he gave when he broke up with you. Or perhaps it’s the reason she says she can’t commit. Either way, it’s confusing and unsatisfying—of course it’s not you! You did nothing wrong! And also, you’re awesome! Then again, part of you worries that maybe you did mess things up. Is it possible you said or did something to ruin the relationship? Well, yes and no. . . Join me to learn how our best intentions often work against us and actually increase the likelihood of us hearing, “It’s not you, it’s me.” I also examine psych research which reveals the one thing we should NEVER do if we hope to keep a relationship moving forward.

In her early twenties, Liz Forkin Bohannon identified an “integrity gap” between what she claimed she cared about—issues facing women living in extreme poverty—and how she conducted her daily life. So, she quit her job and bought a one-way ticket to Uganda. Fast forward to 2019, Liz is the CEO of Sseko Designs, a fair-trade, fair-wage fashion brand employing and empowering women in Uganda and the U.S.! In this segment of our Women Making it Happen in Their Careers series, you’ll hear how Liz’s “beginners pluck” helped her “actively co-create the world she wanted to live in” and how YOU can support Sseko’s mission! Spoiler alert: supporting Sseko’s missions involves shopping for gorgeous bags, jewelry, and shoes—what a fantastic way to help empower women! P.S. In our conversation, Liz and I realized we’re reading the same book at the moment so we meandered into a few psychological and sociological topics just for fun e.g. how comparing ourselves to others objectifies them, why risk taking is essential

Sports anchor Laura Behnke had it all—high-powered career in NYC, fantastic friends, and amazing travels. The one thing she didn’t have? A husband. In fact, at 35 Laura had never been in a long-term relationship. And everyone wanted to know why. How could a bright, beautiful, successful woman like her be single? Over the years, Laura experienced her fair share of “single shaming” and frankly, she still experiences it, even though she’s now happily married—which is why Laura created her platform, Life Actually and its slogan, #OwnYourTimeline!Join us to discuss:Ways to deal with invasive questions about your love life—or lack thereof.How to reframe your experiences to take charge of your thoughts!Being a strong, independent woman who still wants a husband and kids.How Laura integrated what she learned in therapy to embrace her “life actually!”As Joseph Campbell put it, “We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that’s waiting for us.” Laura did exactly this and she’s

It’s definitely complicated in today’s dating scene—can we learn to date smarter, not harder? Of course, we can! In this Q&A episode, I respond to 3 questions from listeners striving to navigate the disorienting and often demoralizing dating landscape:1. “Danielle” wants to know if she should go on a second date if she’s not feeling sparks during the first date.2. “Sarah” wonders if after 5 ½ years of dating “Chris” on and off, should she tell him her true feelings? And furthermore, is a legitimate, committed relationship with him even possible after so much back and forth?3. “Lily” and her ex-boyfriend, “John,” have remained friends for years. He visits (from overseas) once or twice a year and financially supports her and her children (although they aren’t his). John is in love with Lily and though Lily loves him as a friend and appreciates his years of commitment to her and her kids, she doesn’t have romantic feelings for him. Then again, he’s such a good guy, she wishes she could fall fo

When a relationship breaks down, we want answers—especially when things end abruptly or we get ghosted. We feel hurt and confused, and we hope getting “closure” will somehow help us process our grief and move on. But will it? And perhaps the question most central to this conversation—is closure actually a thing? In this episode I delve into the concept of closure, addressing these questions and sharing two circumstances from my dating history—one time when I was looking for closure, but didn’t get it; and another instance when my ex asked me for closure, but I struggled to provide it. Join me for a deep dive into closure, as we examine why it’s so hard to get—and sometimes even harder to give.

Strong, independent adults in our twenties, thirties, forties (and beyond!) sometimes still feel pressure from our families—pressure to conform to family expectations, pressure to be at a certain stage of our lives, pressure to make choices consistent with our family’s values. Moreover, establishing a distinct identity within the context of our families often proves even more challenging for adult children from traditional upbringings and/or members of “third cultures.” Life coach Varsha Mathur shares her experiences with dating, marriage, and divorce as a “third culture” American woman of South Asian descent. Join us to learn:· How to assert yourself within your family in a psychologically healthy manner.· Why individuation is typically more difficult for members of a “third culture.”· The pervasive fear inherent to the individuation process—for both parents and adult children.· How to identify and manage covert “family rules.”· The difference between following your hear

Have you ever admired someone’s career and thought, “How did she do it? How did she make it happen?” That’s what I wondered when I met Showbiz Shelly, Chicago’s go-to entertainment expert. I always wondered how Shelly made a splash in this crowded media landscape, so when I started my occasional series about women making it happen in their careers, I knew I wanted Shelly to appear as one of the first guests. Join us to learn how Shelly moved from intern (passing out key chains and merch at neighborhood festivals) to midday host on Chicago’s hottest radio station! Hear how she pushed through shyness and anxiety to interview actors, musicians, and sports stars such as Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bieber, Angelina Jolie, Michael Jordan, and John Travolta. Be inspired by Shelly’s drive to make it happen and learn how you can make it happen in your career, too!

Dating is awkward and anxiety provoking—no question. So, if you’re dating with anxiety, it’s EXTRA awkward! Psychotherapist Alison Seponara, AKA “The Anxiety Healer” on Instagram, knows this all too well. On her Insta platform, Alison shares powerful cognitive behavioral techniques for managing anxiety, and just recently she’s started opening up to her over 45,000 followers about her pursuit of love and the role anxiety plays in this process. Join us to discuss:- Why the typical first date advice of “just be yourself” doesn’t work for those with anxiety.- How “inner child work” greatly alleviates dating anxiety.- Why taking time to visualize yourself with the love you’re looking for is a GREAT idea—and could even rewire your brain!- How your single years can be a gift to yourself and your future partner!- Why the cliché of “you have to love yourself first” is wonderful in theory, but simply doesn’t cut it. Hear Alison’s love journey and learn tangible, manageable strategies for tackling the dating scene A

Clinical psychologist Steven C. Hayes suffered from panic disorder. He tried all the therapeutic techniques he’d learned in his training and had employed with clients. But the attacks persisted. So, Dr. Hayes created his own therapeutic orientation—Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Dr. Hayes describes how through ACT we can resonate in the fullness of who we are and turn toward what brings us meaning and purpose in life! Join us to discuss:- How to manage our inner critic—what Dr. Hayes calls, “The Dictator.”- Our desperate need to belong and the ways we often self-sabotage in our efforts to connect with others.- Why a victim mentality feels vindicating, yet prevents us from getting anything we truly want!- How “defusing” from our thoughts empowers us!- Why our “problem solving mind” can wreak havoc on our emotional state.- Psychological flexibility and why it makes all the difference!- How we can more effortlessly live in alignment with our chosen values.Learn ACT therapeutic techniques you can i

Stepfamilies are the “new normal.” In fact, 50% of American kids will have a stepparent at some point in their lives (Health Research Funding, 2015). But, according to the Stepfamily Foundation, 75% of stepfamilies complain of “not having access to resources as a stepfamily.” For this reason, Kendall Rose wrote The Stepmoms Club: How to Be a Stepmom Without Losing Your Money, Your Mind, and Your Marriage. Kendall shares both her personal experience as a single woman who married a man with kids and the collective wisdom of the members of The Stepmoms Club. Join us as we discuss:- The imperative step you MUST take before marrying a man with children—and if you’re already married, do this immediately!- The “Stepmom Vortex” and how to avoid getting sucked into it!- Which blended family elements you can control and which you can’t.- Combatting the “evil stepmother” stereotype.- The infuriating Disneyland Dad Syndrome—why he does it and how to handle it.- The optimal way to deal with his difficult ex.- Why hi

I’m so excited to kick off season two with Ken Page, LCSW, the author of my new all-time favorite dating book, Deeper Dating! Ken’s wisdom and teachings will transform your approach to dating, love, and most importantly—your relationship with yourself! Join us to learn:- Why you don’t need to figure out the origin of your fear of intimacy or abandonment in order to find true love. - The question you must ask yourself when dating and, how it leads you to love—and heals your soul in the process. - How to stop being attracted to people who aren’t good for you and start being attracted to people who are!- The essential quality your future partner must have!- How to break your fear of rejection once and for all!- Why safe, loving, good-for-us people can scare us.- The greatest saboteur of healthy new love!- How examining your prior, unhealthy relationships help you identify red flags to examine.- How to excise 70% of future relationship-related pain!Ken asserts your search for love is one of the most important,

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week and I’ve got you covered with plenty of Love & Life episodes devoted to helping you stay happy, hopeful, and positive despite the frustrations and challenges of today’s dating scene. Learn how to deal with “single shaming” and discover the “date-onomics” which impact the dating landscape and your love life! You’ll feel encouraged and empowered as you discover strategies for how to thrive—not just survive—while living la vida solo. I wrap up the episode with a sneak peek into Season 2 of Love & Life. There’s so much good stuff ahead. Stay tuned!good morning by Amine Maxwell https://soundcloud.com/aminemaxwellCreative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0 Free Download / Stream: http://bit.ly/2vpruoYMusic promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/SQWFdnbzlgI