The Tom Barnard Show

We're a midwest show, and Charlie is a midwest comedian.  As such, when he's on our show, it's less joking about the midwest and more making personal observations of things we've all seen.  For example, if you've lived here long enough, you're going to hit or almost hit a deer with your car.  That's not a joke, it's just the way it goes.  For more examples of things that are funny to non-midwesterners and statements of fact to midwesterners, he's written a Midwest Survival Guide. THE MIDWEST SURVIVAL GUIDE: How We Talk, Love, Work, Drink, and Eat . . . Everything with Ranch - amzn.to/3dVC2lTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

No, Michele Tafoya hasn't been fired.  That's straight from the source.  Not a news site that copy pasted an article from another news site, also known today as the mainstream media.  It's a sad state of affairs when some random podcast has better sources than Fox or CNN, but welcome to the modern era.  You can't even trust the IRS any more with all the scams out there.  Better stop paying your taxes just to make sure.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do you know what a yeoman is?  It was a type of servant, basically a butler for nobles and royals.  As you'd expect, they were experts at etiquette.  Zoe isn't a yeoman, but her last name is Yeoman and she's also an expert at etiquette.  Whether the name was the inspiration, we cannot say.  What we can say is that people need to learn some etiquette themselves, especially around this time of year, so listen up and you might learn something.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Did you know that we're in a gang?  It's called Christianity.  Gang signs include crosses, wreaths, and dashboard statues of Jesus giving the thumbs up.  Watch for them, because if you see them, you know you're in the wrong neighborhood.  Or right neighborhood, if you like Christmas.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're thinking of having a movie made about us.  The problem is, we want to avoid any cultural appropriation, so we need to find actors with the exact same ethnic, religious, and cultural backgrounds as us.  So if you know anyone with the exact same genetic makeup as Tom who also grew up in the ghetto with precisely six siblings, let us know.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Drama is in right now.  Doesn't matter what kind.  Football?  All drama.  Players sending pictures of various body parts to various people, players dying young, coaches making questionable decisions.  Even the state of Florida is all about the drama, which you probably know by now.  Demand for Florida-related drama is so high that Glenn Beck has to say stupid crap in order to artificially generate it.  That's a lot of demand.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It used to be that dogs would get the byproducts and humans would get the meat.  Now dogs get real meat and humans get fake meat.  We just can't figure out what's healthy and what's not, it seems.  Burt is under the impression that meat is good for dogs, and he's got the science to back it up.  When a great dane lives to be 20, you know something must be going right.  Maybe humans should start eating Gentle Giants food too.  Or just a little less fast food.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Back after a long Covid fueled brake.  Tom has mostly recovered; Doug is back from travelling and we have a show that deals almost exclusively with cars. Lots of talk of electric cars and we dive into some of the shortcomings of Li-on batteries and Toyota's 13 billion dollar investment in solid state battery technology.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

T-Rex cookies are massive and delicious! Can you really make 5 pound cookies? Yes. Meet Tina Rexing. The cookie Queen! Her cookies are viral. Find out why with Moon Pjugg and Hobbs! And email us at moonpjugghobbs@gmail.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My dad is funnier than your dad.  So is Kelly's.  She might actually win that competition.  Her dad is Tim Conway, a legendary actor and comedian who's been in more movies and TV shows than you've seen.  And yes, he is most likely funnier than any of our dads.  Then again, we'll never know until your dad's first open mic.  Make sure to record it if it ever happens. My Dad's Funnier than Your Dad: Growing Up with Tim Conway in the Funniest House in America - amzn.to/31E1lq0See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Pick a card.  Or have Tom do it for you, because this is a podcast and you're not actually in the room with us.  What comes next, you'll just have to listen for.  You'll also have to listen to see what happens if you threaten the child of someone in the radio business.  Something about that field instills a lot of rage in you, apparently.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember yesterday when we told you not to drink alcohol?  Forget all that.  Drink some White Claw and wash it down with some peanut butter whiskey.  You'll probably feel very sick after that.  But for a brief moment, you'll be deep within flavortown.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

First Andy comes back, then Tom, and now Doug.  We're slowly returning to normalcy.  Why settle for the new normal when you've already got a perfectly good normal?  Of course, not all traditions deserve to be called "normal".  Lutefisk, for example.  There's nothing normal about that.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's cold, it's slippery, it's snowy.  It makes you want to drink.  But don't.  Drinking is bad.  Half of the people on the show today are former alcoholics.  They're also all from Minnesota.  That can't be a coincidence.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You may have noticed some differences on the show lately.  For example, the entire family was absent for two weeks.  But do you know why?  Yes, of course you do.  Well, now you can hear the full story right from the source, complete with "Covid Brain".  Also hear about how black people don't like Costaki.  Or you know, something to that effect.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There was a time when Hollywood was synonymous with class.  Everyone was wearing dresses and suits, they talked in this weird faux-British accent, and they could all sing.  Of course, half of them were drug addicts and domestic abusers, but we don't focus on that part.  Audrey Hepburn was all of the class and none of the scandal, which made her unique enough to write a book about nearly 30 years after her death. Warrior: Audrey Hepburn - amzn.to/3pseYkeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Some people can just look at something and know how it works, And some can fix it when it's broken. Who can do both? Meet RANDY THE HANDYMAN! He is amazing and he is a minister as well. Meet Randy Beadle from Dwelling Services! Share this podcast. Like it. Listen... www.dwellingservices.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this Thanksgiving's week I'm thank for a lot of things. Parents, family, friends and Mentors. (My Parents, My God Father Ed Crenshaw, Scout Master William Watkins, Coaches Richard Perry, Travis Brown, James Blaylock , EQ MGR Dick Mattson, Harry BroaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

People always think there's a disconnect between metal and Christianity, but if you think about it, the bible is about as metal as it gets.  Flaming brimstone, the four horsemen of the apocalypse, a battle between angels and demons, cities being obliterated by pillars of fire.  What more do you need?  The answer is nothing, which is why Stryper exists.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Carpenters were one of those duos that codified 70s music.  When you think technicolor flower prints and VW Beetles, you start hearing The Carpenters in your head.  But after they stopped making music, you didn't hear much about them.  It could be because of the tragic ending.  It could be because we collectively cannot remember the 70s.  Either way, Mike Lennox decided someone had to put an end to this.  An end to not remembering the Carpenters I mean. CARPENTERS: The Musical Legacy, An Inside Look Into One of the Most Popular Duos of the 1970s - amzn.to/3rsfhOCSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.