Parent With A Pro

This whole month we get to talk about behaviors that drive us nuts.  It was hard to pick just four. We get to start out with our kids driving us crazy  during the summer. If you’ve ever felt like your kids want you to entertain them all summer, then you’ll want to check out this episode.  Laura Tesch, mom of six and Child & Family studies major, teaches us SIX tips for surviving your child’s summer break! These tips have already helped us a ton at our house. Happy learning! LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Laura Tesch   I want to make it clear, that a perfect summer isn’t really attainable.  It’s better just to try to find ways to have this summer be better than the last and shoot for the same goal next summer. But keep your expectations at the right level so you’re less likely to be disappointed. Tip #1 Provide some structure Research shows that kids do a lot better in an environment with structure.  Kids need to know what will be happening each day and what times during the day things will be

Research shows that consistency between parents is critical to parenting success. If parents differ in their parenting approach, they unintentionally undermine each other's good parenting efforts and cause friction in their marriage. That being said, different parenting approaches are an extremely common issue in families. Parents come from different backgrounds, have different personalities, and are even neurologically wired differently from one another. So to help you get on the same page and eliminate disagreements over parenting, we have teamed up with marriage and family therapist, Jeff Tesch, LMFT to create this guide for you. It will walk you through the exact steps Jeff uses with his clients. LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Jeff Tesch, LMFT Why It's Important for Parents to Be on the Same Page 1. Kids won't develop as well if they're getting mixed messages from their parents 2. It can lead to marital conflict.  Even extreme enough to destroy a marriage The Top 3 Reasons Parents Parent D

This month we’ve been talking about how the strong-willed child can affect the relationships in our own home.  One of the relationships that can be affected is the sibling relationship. Today we talk with Child and Family Studies major, Laura Tesch to learn how she helps her six kids develop friendships that will last a lifetime.   LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW   Laura Tesch Why it’s important for siblings to be close   It helps the home feel more peaceful-I think every parent wants their home to be a peaceful and happy place.  If you can help foster close sibling relationships, that will help decrease the tension between your kids.  It is important to remember, that siblings will only get along about 50% of the time. That is normal and healthy. The sibling relationship is one of the longest lasting human relationships each of us will have- Friends will come and go, even cousins will come and go.  One day parents will pass away. But siblings, are there from the minute you are born and thr

This month we've been talking about our strong-willed kids and how they affect other relationships in the family.  This week we get to talk about something that I feel is really, really important. If you have a strong willed child and other kids that are easier going in your home, you might see that there can be a negative effect on the other kids.  This isn’t because a strong-willed child is bad or they are the root cause of all the problems. But a strong-willed child can be challenging to live with and can take a lot of their parent’s attention. Today we're with clinical mental health counselor, Mike Fitch to talk about some of the big concerns that he is seeing.  Then he's going to guide us through some things we can do to resolve those concerns. If you are looking for some ways to “Childproof Your Marriage” go here.   LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Mike Fitch, CMHC Unfortunately,this topic is not addressed enough.  I think parents are so focused on dealing with their strong-willed child

This month, we're talking about how having a strong-willed child can affect other family relationships. Today we're going to talk about something that I've seen brought up several times but not really ever addressed in a in a helpful way.  The reality that sometimes we don't like our strong-willed child. We love our children passionately and we would do anything for them! But sometimes our strong-willed children are so challenging that we can start to foster some negative feelings towards our child. We have Laura Tesch with us today to talk about what to do when we’re having a hard time liking our strong-willed child.  As a reminder, Laura not only has her degree in Child and Family Studies, but she also has six kids of her own. Two of her six kids are strong-willed children.  Here’s what she has to say: LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW   Have you ever had a hard time liking your strong-willed children? I have. I really have. We're not always going to like our children and they're not always goi

LISTEN HERE OR READ THE POST BELOW One concern that comes up over and over again in our private facebook group, is “How do I get my kids to sleep through the night?” We get to talk to Jeff Tesch, LMFT today, all about getting our kids to sleep through the night.   Jeff Tesch, LMFT Is it normal for kids to have issues with sleeping? Both normal and very common. It's understandable that kids have to kind of learn how to soothe themselves at night and how to stay in their beds.   The phase where they are learning is a hard time for parents. It’s also really common for a child to be sleeping well, the to experience some regression.  We experience the same kind of cycles as adults. I think one of the things that's really, really hard about a child not sleeping is it’s negative effect on everyone’s mood.  When we’re sleep deprived, we’re more emotional and have less control over our behavior.  The same is true for our kids. Tips for getting your child to sleep and keeping them asleep. Tip #1: Take time to unwi

Strong-willed kids have a lot of frustrating behaviors.  For me though, meltdowns are one of the most challenging behaviors.  I want to cry in a corner because my child's totally out of control with emotions.  I am usually left with a lot of questions; “What do I need to do to help my child manage their emotions better?”, “What can I do to weather the storm of their emotions in a healthier way?”, and “What's even going on? Why are they doing this?” So we're here with marriage and family therapist, Jeff Tesch to talk about all things meltdown. LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Jeff Tesch, LMFT What causes a meltdown?  What's going on in the child's brain during meltdown? Meltdowns are really a flood of emotions.  So many emotions that your brain starts to be overstimulated and stops thinking rationally.  But where do all those emotions come from? All emotions are driven by thoughts.  Emotions are really a response to what you’re thinking. For example: when you are afraid of something, you don’t

Do you ever feel apprehensive to go into public with your kids?  Are you nervous they’re going to misbehave at the store or during a play date?  I have been there.  That’s why we’re talking to Child & Family Studies major AND mom of six, Laura Tesch today.  Laura has had a lot of experience being in public with misbehaving kids.  She’s also learned a lot over the years.  Here are her favorite tips and tricks! LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW   Laura Tesch Parent the same no matter where you are I know that this is one of the most difficult things to do. When you’re in public and your child starts throwing a tantrum your gut reaction can be… “Oh my goodness! Please no tantrum today, please.  I’ll give you whatever you want if you’ll just stop screaming!” I've been there thousands of times.  However, it’s important to show your child that you're going to parent the same no matter where you are. Embrace the Embarrassment One of the biggest struggles that parents have in feeling embarrassed if the

  Raise your hand if you feel like you are the only one trying to keep your house clean! That feeling can be so frustrating! It is time to get our kids to help around the house. In today's episode, child and family studies major Laura Tesch is going to teach us not only why chores are critical to our children's development but also positive ways to get kids to help. The tips Laura teaches are what she has used with her own six children over the last two decades. You won't want to miss this one.  LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW The Upside to Expecting Kids to Help Around the House They learn how to work hard They learn about delayed gratification It teaches them how to contribute to the world around them When it's time to move out, they will be very capable of caring for their own home It helps them develop Independence They feel a sense of accomplishment It helps develop fine and gross motor skills It teaches them that they have responsibility for the cleanliness of the home I

It's a new month and that means a new monthly topic. This monthly we are going to talk about Tough Times of the Day and solutions to better handle those. We start the discussion with mealtime. I think that EVERY parent out there has a picky eater in their house, a child that exclusively wants pizza or mac-n-cheese. If you are one of those parents, you are in for a treat (pun intended) CMHC Mike Fitch teaches us his do's and don'ts with picky eaters. Here's the thing, Mike has a child with cerebral palsy, which makes eating very difficult.  He has had to receive extensive training on the do's and don'ts for picky eaters and is truly an expert on this topic. LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW I really appreciate Mike taking the time to teach us the do's and don'ts of picky eating.  Here's what he has to share: DO be aware that there are two categories of picky eaters: A child that has an underlying medical issue that genuinely affects their feelings towards foods.  Some examples are: A child wit

Today we interview marriage and family therapist, Jeff Tesch to talk about something that is SO frustrating to SO many parents.  In fact, we have some questions that we ask parents who enter our private Facebook group (You're welcome to join, too!) to figure out what struggles they're facing with their strong willed child.  Over and over again we see that parents have asked their kids to stop a certain behavior or to do something the parent has asked and the child's behavior simply isn't changing. Here's what Jeff Tesch teaches about why our words aren't working and what to do instead. LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW First, there are times that it is appropriate and really good to use our words with our kids. 1. When we're getting CLEAR with our kids about behavior. Our children are not minds readers and they need us to be really clear with them UPFRONT about what behaviors are okay and which are not.  It's important to not only be clear about behavior expectations but to also be clear about wha

Research shows that one of the best ways to train a child out of a negative behavior is to give the child an appropriate consequence when they use inappropriate behaviors. But what do you do if no consequence seems to work?! This is not an uncommon scenario for parents of strong-willed kids. Today, we again interview two therapists Stephanie Carbajal, LCSW and Mike Fitch, CMHC to ask what they tell their clients who are having a hard time finding an effective consequence.  What to do when no consequence or discipline seems to work for your child. 8 parenting tips from child therapists LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW EIGHT Things to Try When No Consequence Seems to Work 1. Know that you are not alone: This isn't really something to try, but something that's just a relief to know.  There are many parents who are struggling to find an effective consequence for their child.  You are not alone.  Strong-willed children are a joy and a challenge to raise.  One of those challenges is finding something tha

Years ago, discipline used to be so harsh that it at times would have been considered child abuse. Now, in our culture, we are so afraid of damaging our children that we wonder if we can even use discipline. Today we talk to two therapists to learn what evidence shows about discipline. If you've been worried at all about discipline, you'll want to listen to this episode.   LISTEN ABOVE OR READ BELOW Here's six things to think about when it comes to discipline: There ARE ABSOLUTELY some discipline techniques that do cause damage.  WE WANT TO BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR ABOUT WHAT THOSE ARE.  Download this FREE guide to see what our therapists encourage you to avoid at all costs.   Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription. There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again. Email Address Send me the guide! /* Layout */ .ck_form.ck_naked { /* divider image */ background: transparent; line-height: 1.5em; overflow: hidden; color: #666; font-size

One of the most common questions parents ask is "What discipline approach will actually be effective for my strong willed child?" Luckily, there have been decades of research on that topic and there is answer. Today, Jeff Tesch LMFT teaches us what discipline has been PROVEN to work with our kids!  LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Jeff Tesch, LMFT I regularly have parents in my office asking me “How do I get my child to stop using X behavior?”  I like to teach them the formula I’m about to teach you. This formula was developed through decades of research. In fact, there was even one study that monitored kids for 40 years, starting at age 8 to see what kind of parenting the child received and continuing on to age 48 to see what effect the parenting had on the child.  The kids that were parented by parents using the formula I am going to teach you behaved better in their younger years and performed better throughout the next FOUR DECADES OF LIFE! They had higher education, better jobs, healthier rel

If you have a child that does NOT like the word "NO" then you'll want to give this episode a listen.  This is the last episode in this month's series "Emotional Life Skills for the Strong Willed Child" and will help you know how to respond to kids who may whine, complain, or throw a fit when you tell them "No".  Clinical mental health counselor, Mike Fitch shares his best tips for handling this issue.   LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Mike Fitch, CMHC Tip #1: Be Aware of The Reality Kids aren’t really thinking about their behavior.  When they don’t get want they want, they instinctively yell or cry for what they want.  Saying NO can be a catalyst for a power struggle or some whining.  Our kids simply don't like to hear the word "NO".  Especially when they really want something.  We feel the same way as adults.  When we get our mind set on something we want or think we need, it's hard for US to hear the word no. Also, there will be times in your children’s life when the word "no" is more of an iss

At the beginning of this year, I asked our private Facebook group what emotional life skills they felt their strong-willed children needed.  So many of the parents said that patience is something their children struggle with.  So today we get to talk to Mike Fitch, CMHC about practical ways to teach our children patience.  Mike knows what it takes to develop patience as he himself has ADHD, he has a child with high-functioning autism, and he coaches hundreds of clients a year.  We are grateful for his willingness to teach us some of the tricks he has learned.     LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW.     Mike Fitch, CMHC We all struggle with patience When Celeste first asked me to talk about patience, I thought she meant parents having more patience.  Why would I think that?  Because we ALL struggle with patience. I think knowing that helps us be more patient with our kid’s impatience.  Developing patience is a life-long process and one that we’re all working on. Patience is a critical life skill

If you've been looking for ways to help your kids manage their anger, look no further!  This episode is jam-packed with tools designed to help your child recognize and manage their anger in a healthy way. LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

It's a new month, which means it's a new theme for the podcast!  This month we will be talking about teaching our strong willed children... emotional life skills! Let's be honest, this is a topic that we all need some coaching on.  However, our strong willed kids usually come with really strong emotions.  If left unchecked, these emotions can RULE THEIR LIVES!  That's why we are spending this month teaching you how to teach your child to develop emotional life skills. To help you out, we are giving you some tips on how to begin discussing emotional life skills with your child in this week's episode. In this episode, you will learn how to start talking about emotions with a younger child and how to create an emotional skill coping plan with an older child. LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

Our kids struggle when they only hear negative things about themselves or are in trouble much of the time.  They can start to feel like they are just “bad” kids. They start to feel an emotion called shame. Brene Brown teaches that guilt and shame are two very different things.  Guilt is when we feel we have done something wrong, but there is hope, because we can change. Shame is when we feel WE ARE a mistake, WE are the problem, WE cannot change. Therefore, there is no hope.  This leads to self-doubt, depression, and anxiety. We want our kids to avoid the pain that shame brings and have to work EXTRA hard to help our strong-willed kids.  We want to teach you how to use positive praise and encouragement to help your child feel connected to you and feel positively about themselves. LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Mike Fitch, CMHC Our strong willed child may be trying even if it doesn’t look like it We want to teach you this principle using an analogy.  Two kids are in the same class, with the same

So many people join our private Facebook group completely overwhelmed by their strong-willed child's behavior, knowing that they want to change their child's behavior, but not knowing where to start. Luckily, we have Jeff Tesch, LMFT to teach us a simple secret designed to help us improve our children's behavior without loosing our minds! LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!