Rude Tudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole get real about virginity. Highlights include: semi-offensive Australian stereotypes. Forging notes from your gynecologist. Ye olde paternity tests. The hymen as a problematic membrane. The evil that makeup obscures. All-female virginity squads. How to get yourself an annulment. Also check out our spot on Renaissance Festival Podcast for an extra dose of Rude Tudors. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

Wherein Liz and Nicole discuss which is scarier: a haunted Port-a-Potty or a man-eating Port-a-Potty? Iconic historical locations of pooping. Questing for the Ur-Toilet. Potty-training your little prince. Death by enema. The dispute of the One-Toileted Man. And OG Toilet Daddy, John Harrington. Plus new segment: Renaissance Jokes!

In this episode, Liz and Nicole figure out how people loved cats before the invention of the internet. Then, as now, cats are an ambivalent life force. They also liked to eat poisonous things and could cure hemorrhoids. So helpful. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole sheepishly laugh at stupid ways to die during the Renaissance. Wrestling, harvest diapers, and bacon all factor in. Check out the impressive source for the fatalities featured in this episode: Everyday Life and Fatal Hazard in Sixteenth-Century England. Plus, a new installment of Wack Translations. rudetudors.com @rudetudors      

In this episode, Liz and Nicole discuss the beefy, BBQ-scented topic of manwitches, or male witches. More commonly than one might think, manwitches would read evil books, search for buried treasure, make pacts with the devil, and attend to other manly occult activities. Also, hear the new segment Wack Translations. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole delve into the London criminal underworld to talk about Mary Frith, aka Moll Cutpurse, unapologetic thief, burglar, fence, and crossdresser. Did we mention she's a woman? Also, Liz mis-reads the year of her death, which was ACTUALLY 1659. rudetudors.com @rudetudors 

In this episode, Liz and Nicole react to the SHOCKING NEWS of a new, (incorrectly identified) portrait of Shakespeare! Then pick up some gardening tips and tricks to help your pumpkins win some prizes. Finally, delve into the weird and wonderful world of Shakespearean-themed fan fiction, Harry Potter style. rudetudors.com @rudetudors.com Reviews make our day, week, month, and years!

In this episode, Liz and Nicole dig around in a ripped-from-the-headlines pamphlet about an incestuous romance that caused monstrous progeny. You know, the usual. Why would a couple risk the wrath of God for a few minutes of taboo pleasure? Because the devil. Find out how this all plays out. Plus, we play Guess the Shakespeare Play with negative Amazon reviews. rudetudors.com @rudetudors Leave a review and support the rude arts!

In this episode, Liz and Nicole demystify the menses. How did people feel and deal with their special lady moon time? What magical and medicinal properties was menstrual blood believed to have? And what were their practical approaches to blood management? Plus, this week’s “Crazy Shit” segment celebrates the recent royal birth. Congrats, Will and Kate, you crazy kids. rudetudors.com @rudetudors Leave a review and help a lady out!

In this episode, Liz and Nicole discuss the sexploits of Simon Forman, the Most Interesting Man in the Renaissance. The professional necromancer/ astrologer/magician/physician kept a log of his romantic conquests, which our brave hosts discuss at length. There's also an update about historical dildos. Finally, this week's "Crazy Shit" segment delves into historical Barbie reviews, both the indignant and the tragic. rudetudors.com @rudetudors Leave a review, pretty babies!

In this episode, Liz and Nicole disgust and delight each other as they talk about the role of cheese in early modern lives. Would you eat human-derived cheese? Why are both cheese and women considered troublesome during the Renaissance? Does cheese give you nightmares? Plus, this week’s edition of “Crazy Shit That People Say On The Internet About Things Related To The Renaissance” shows what unites us all: just trying to get back to that Ren faire life. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

Liz and Nicole have beards on the brain. What were the different styles popular during the 1500s and 1600s? What do beards have to do with masculinity? And why did they need so many fake beards to put on a play? Plus, this week’s edition of “Crazy Shit That People Say On The Internet About Things Related To The Renaissance” about the Disappearing Wives of Henry VIII Coffee Mug.

Who is your favorite villain? In this episode, Nicole and Liz discuss historical badboy Richard III’s recent rediscovery and reburial. How much do you think it hurt when the top of his skull was lopped off? And just what do you wear to a twenty-first-century funeral of a medieval king? Plus, a steamy reading from Philippa Gregory’s overly graphic Renaissance fanfic The Other Boleyn Girl. 

In this episode, the new Wonder Woman costume redesign prompts a discussion about her foremothers, the Amazons. People get so upset on the internet! There were a number of wonder-woman types running around in Renaissance literature, fighters with a mythological past and present. What kind of a threat do warrior women pose to dudes and their order? Also check out our new segment, “Crazy Shit People Say on the Internet About Things Related to Shakespeare.”

In this episode, Liz and Nicole discuss the high stakes of getting engaged during the Renaissance. It was serious business, folks, and could mess you up for life. Under consideration is a veritable buffet of sources: a layman's guide to getting hitched, Shakespeare's Measure for Measure, and a Buzzfeed pictorial.

In this episode, Liz and Nicole discuss the Restoration pamphlet "The City-Wife's Petition Against Coffee" (1674).  Under discussion: what are the racial and sexual politics of drinking caffeine? How does dehydration affect sexual performance? Did this murky brown liquid contribute to the demise of English masculinity? And were coffee houses the internet of early modern England?