Rude Tudors

Do you know how God sent warnings to people during the Renaissance? Find out as Liz Rodriguez and Nicole Keating discuss the 1608 pamphlet A True Relation of the Birth of Three Monsters. Highlights about include be-boobed, ballerina babies; adult-sized children; the gaping maw of the vengeful earth; viral human interest stories from history; the Virgin Mary’s appearance in various baked goods; sexual sins, like woman-on-top; good and evil sisters; classism, bastardy, and poor people; flesh ruffs and tutus; Christian punishment and Thor; learning the true meaning of Christmas; and much more! rudetudors.com Twitter Facebook Snapchat: RudeTudors

Are dreams are interesting to no one but the dreamer? What about dreams from history? In this episode, Liz and Nicole discuss beliefs about dreams in Renaissance England. Highlights include embarrassing sex dreams about dogs; the naked and natural thoughts of our souls; indigestion and its effect on the brain; fever dreams and portentous ravens; prophetic dreams like in Buffy the Vampire Slayer; anxious displays of masculinity and femininity; the cannibalistic undertones of King Lear; lots of dead children and inheritances; wrestlers and their pregnancies; and much more! Leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher to enter the contest for a RUDE TUDORS T-SHIRT! Website Twitter Facebook

In this episode, Liz and Nicole discuss a tale as old as time: women's quest for beauty in the face of popular messages telling them they're ghouls. Find out Renaissance recommendations for beautifying the face, feet, and everything in between. Keywords: Rude Tudors, Renaissance, England, history, English, comedy, education, women, teaching, drama, literature, Shakespeare, Liz Rodriguez, Nicole Keating, Tudor Dynasty, Rudeness, funny, culture, podcast, Fake Geek Girl Productions, Henry VIII, Elizabeth I, Renaissance fair, festival, makeup

In this episode, Liz and Nicole get to the bottom of "Remember, remember the fifth of November." Apparently, Catholics were pissed about the Protestant government and wanted to stage a revolution. Unfortunately, they didn't spend much time planning. But there was a whole lot of digging. And gunpowder. Find out the origin of Anonymous' iconography. And what Bonfire Day is all about. rudetudors.com

So many things to report about Renaissance werewolves. Find out about the German werewolf who liked to wear an enchanted girdle and tear the throats out of his victims. Plus a delusional Italian from an English play who digs up corpses because he thinks he's a werewolf. Truly horrific stuff. Liz and Nicole find a way to joke about it all. You'll be down if you like comedy, history, and/or edutainment. And now, a long list of interests that may overlap with the content of Rude Tudors: English, literature, history, Shakespeare, Henry VIII, Elizabeth I, theater, sexuality, comedy, feminism, women, gender, digital humanities, education, teaching

In this episode, Liz and Nicole get morbid discussing Sawney Bean and his clan of 40+ incestuous cannibal killers. This is the stuff of legend, literally. Learn about why stories of this Scottish brood lasted for hundreds of years and even inspired the cult horror flick The Hills Have Eyes . Lots of gory, and funny, details to get you into the Halloween spirit.      

Jeah! It’s a new episode in which the less-than-sacred memory of Christopher Columbus is thoroughly trashed. Highlights include Nicole’s bizarre historical cosplay; cool and exotic coconut drinks; historical revisionism, crotchety old people, and Facebook rants; the impossibility of discovering inhabited landmasses; Viking and Celtic people representing Europe back in the day; nicknames for ships, like the Girl, the Ho, and the Virgin; how to refrigerate 60 pounds of fresh flan; corpses, the Renaissance building material and insulation of choice; mixing up Ferdinand and Isabella with Rodrigo y Isabella; historical X-Files; kidnapping is bad form, not that Columbo cares; and much more! Also, check out Fake Geek Girl Productions’ new webseries, Debcam. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole deconstruct the idea of vermin. And then proceed to get grossed out all the same. Find out how to get rid of fleas, mice, foxes, and more! Highlights include the allegory of An American Tale; greedy bastard mice who don’t know their proper place in the food chain; species supremacy and the dismal state of interspecies cooperation; flaying and ransoming Star Wars fanfic; being protective of food; hanging crafty creatures. Also, a special taste of Fake Geek Girl Productions' new webseries, Debcam. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Pope Julius II captivates and entertains your humble hosts. Was he more of a lover or a fighter? Find out about his martial escapades, artistic patronage, and much more. Highlights include bad Italian accents; Pope Francis’s U.S. visit; Catholic panic; artisanal cardboard papal cutouts; half-breed fae; smoke and God, the ultimate deciders; Borgia shenanigans; beefing with the Holy Roman Emperor; having too many children while celibate; turtles painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling; bunga bunga parties. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole get real about the history of contraception. Find out about the wide variety of things to put in your vagina to maybe prevent babies. Highlights include rude cavemen and dinosaurs; dual witch-gynecology degrees; Mountain Dew douches; ancient Egyptian sluts; the benefits of child labor; abstinence and the American way; malnutrition and gout; Pepper’s Adventures in Time; purging and bloodletting, the Galenic way; the penis in the machine; textual healing; tongues in tails; the original definition of sodomy; the chink in the wall as the proto-Fleshlight; the multiple powers of rue; birth control workarounds; Plan-B potions; historical masturbation updates. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole criticize the inanity of Renaissance hairstyles. Don't you want to know what a lovelock is? Highlights include: haters and foes; celebrating the old-as-fuck Elizabeth Windsor; red-headed hotties; dyed horse tails; gruel-bowl haircuts; proleptic Benjamin Franklin hair; Shakespeare's preferred shampoo; hanging out with Arthur and gleeping; the Folger Shakespeare Library's strangest holdings; Shakespeare's pube; Samuel Ireland, notorious forger; unmanly curls and the Royalist cause; Renaissance Jherri curls and rat tails; the political statements aligned with being bitchy about hair; commemorative Charles I hair embroidery. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole discuss the sordid details of a French triple murder. Find out just how uncanny Nicole's intuition for murder is. Highlights include: Rude Tudors' Buzzfeed listicle; shoutout to dildos; old timey good cop; rowdy wine-selling; noisy neighbors; fucking with knives in the French fashion; Russian ax holds; discovering criminal intent; Notorious G.O.D.'s all-seeing eye; Regis Philbin, noted regicide; what to read before the internet; law and order tabloids; surly Cockney Renaissance baby. Plus, Two Renaissance Truths and a Lie! Send us pics of your pets via Twitter or Facebook to get involved in Cat Hamlet! rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole scroll through almanacs, the internet of the Renaissance. Find out when the best time to harvest, bathe, and purge, among other major life events. Highlights include: the almanac as OG internet; witchy woo-woo secret knowledge; Mr. Bucky Balls, a beaver from Narnia; discovering the zodiac sign of your greatest enemy; hitting the snooze button on a rooster; when to duck and cover from the eclipse; Steve Jobs seeing the future from heaven; black magic feminism; talking smack about the weather man; knowing the right time to bathe; what stink lines are made of; hot bodies being overmuch haunted; having two baths a year; Anal Tarts, part of a balanced breakfast; Capricorn’s governance of the crack; taking a razor to a literary anthology. Plus, singing the Wack Translation of “Greensleeves.” Send us pics of your pets via Twitter or Facebook to get involved in Cat Hamlet! rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole sort fact from fiction among what we know about Pocahontas. Highlights include: Disney’s lack of documentaries; digging into AP American History; Jamestown’s lack of amenities; baby capitalism, joint stock companies, and making money; DIY governance and the colonial way; never forgetting about racism; John Smith, the big blond bully; Paris Hilton might save your life; hanging out in James Fort’s mud; excitement and nudity; whitey getting to Pocahontas; clubbing on the East Coast; whitewashing and commodification of history, the Disney way. Plus, the latest installment of Crazy Shit: Amazon Reviews. Send us pics of your pets via Twitter or Facebook to get involved in Cat Hamlet! rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole get to the bottom of this stoner Shakespeare business. Under discussion is recent media coverage of Shakespeare's possible marijuana use. Highlights include crappy DEA websites, invention in a noted weed, drugs' relationship to art, CSI-ing historical artifacts, early modern drug dealers, learning to speak with historical locals, academics making bad stoner jokes, figuring out jackhole riddles, being skeptical about evidence on the internet, trying to dig up Shakespeare's bones, to weed or not to weed, Shakespeare's bath-salts plays, writing press releases every time you get stoned, and humanizing geniuses. Plus, the latest installment of Wack Translations. Send us pics of your pets via Twitter or Facebook to get involved in Cat Hamlet! rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole ask, do you believe in love after death? Under discussion is the duration of love and marriage once the couple bites the dust, sandwiched with a consideration of Romeo and Juliet. Highlights include polyamorous ghost hauntings; in heaven, we are all angels, duh; unfinished love business; running cheerfully toward heaven; Jesus, the ultimate home wrecker; meeting new friends in heaven; the fuck-fiends of Sodom; posthumous intimacy in the grave; and the family history and filmography of Antonio Banderas. Plus, the latest installment of Two Truths and a Renaissance Lie. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, discussion gets risqué as Liz and Nicole discuss self-pleasure/harm in the 16th and 17th centuries. Highlights include intersections of law, religion, and sexy sex; women expressing themselves through glitter orgasms; who’s the perviest puppet on Sesame Street; where to find masturbatory sources in the archive; jargon for your daily filthiness; the story of noted masturbator, Er; biblical terminology for pulling out; death by masturbation; Renaissance strobe blacklights; that one internet masturbation trick doctors don’t want you to know about; Slim Jim penises; lacking Puritan envy; Caroline Courts Gone Wild; diary code words to hide what you’re up to; masturbating your way out of loneliness. rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, things stop being polite and start being holy as Liz and Nicole discuss William Hacket, self-styled messiah and angel of the apocalypse. Highlights include Charles Manson's need for his own reality show; the fact that Jesus was born during the Renaissance; messiah hype men; watersports as a tenant of Puritan faith; stopping gay abortions; staying up too late talking to God; putting your soul on the line; running between raindrops; and how the state stuck it to religious outliers. Plus, the latest installment of Crazy Shit That People Say On The Internet About Things Relating To The Renaissance. rudetudors.com @rudetudors patreon.com/fakegeekgirlproductions

In this episode, Liz and Nicole discuss William Herle, reputed pirate and spy for William Cecil (a.k.a. Lord Burghley) and Queen Elizabeth. Highlights include developing your Renaissance spy skills; Law and Order: Special Sea Victims Unit; the goings-on of the Marshalsea Prison; developing a convincing cover story; toilet rum and basement wine; the Ridolfi plot to overthrow Elizabeth; the pope’s beef with England; the average running speed of a papal bull; bro-ing out over Catholicism; transhistorical butthole smuggling; and Mary, Queen of Scotts, the ultimate Girl Who Codes. Plus, the latest installment of Wack Translations! rudetudors.com @rudetudors

In this episode, Liz and Nicole plumb the plump depths of Renaissance breasts. Highlights include: freeing captive nipples; confusing Dr. Seuss and Gertrude Stein; the whimsy of The Bresticle, a boobular monster; embossed boobs; the deliciousness of the Lezberita, a newly invented drink; the connection between breasts and testicles; Galen, the Web MD of the Renaissance; saggy demon boobs; the medicinal properties of breast milk. rudetudors.com @rudetudors