Apocrypals

Pack your bags, Theophiloi, because we're going on a trip to India with Thomas, the Second Christ, who works hard and flays harder. Thanks to Dr. Tony Burke and his new book, New Testament Apocrypha Volume 2, hitting shelves this summer, we're taking a look at one of the weirder apostolic adventures, translated for the new book by Janet Spittler and Jonathan Holste. That ol' doubter Thomas is out to spread the word, and believe us, he's got skin in the game. Spoiler warning: Jesus does a miracle. Topics of discussion: Normal human times to sleep, the best titles in Bible, a drumline we can't name, our new cover art by JC Florendo, the Christian flag and its weird pledge, Chris making himself laugh very hard with a joke about Sonic, résumé tips, Jesus inventing the Cool S, umlaut vs. diaeresis, a real pickle, Yamcha Didymus, How Mary Beat Shaq. Hymnal: "Celebrity Skin" by Hole, "Money, Money, Money" by Bens Happy Church Organ (https://youtu.be/2XzMLjVwI8g) Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gol