Dr. Judy Wtf

Fragile parents create pressure on a child to hold them up and compensate for their weakness. Whether the fragility steams from mental or physical health issues; the child is often time parentified and expected to over function in the family. This kind of pressure leaves the child feeling isolated, anxies, and social rejected. They may not even be aware that their parental dysfunction is the cause of the distress because they might just think this is normal for the family. When parents lean to hard on the child, the child will eventually fall apart. It is important for children and eventually adults to understand that their role is not to be the adult to their parents. Psychological clarity and good boundaries go a long way in restructuring the relationship gone wrong.

Building a sense of self after narcissistic abuse requires that you identify your childhood wounds, dismantlement their effects on you and re-code into health. The messages your parents left you with diminish your sense of self, leaving you at the effect of life. What ideally should have happened, is proper attainment and mirroring and support of yourself. What happens in narcissistic abusive families, is that the emerging self is hijacked in order to serve the needs of the parents robbing you of proper development. Sometimes you have to severe the ties with people who don't support you.

When a child comes from a family where the parents are not able to take on the parental role, the burden falls on the child's' shoulders. The saddest aspect of a child gone wrong is their childhood is lost. This kind of stress can wreak emotional havoc and also create mood disorders such as: depression, anxiety, and abusive compulsive disorder or OCD. It is important to catch these patterns so you do not repeat them in your choice of relationships and you do not continue to bleed out. Today we shrunk the Tune Fix You by Coldplay.

It might be tempting to rescue another person, but what happens to that person who gets strong and is no longer needy. Are you still going to be supportive of him or her, or will you be threatened that you are losing control and being taken off the pedestal. Knights in shining in armor are attractive to damsel in distress and vice versa. At first the story is off to a good start but later the story unravels and the knight in shinning armor gets kicked off the horse, and the damsel in distress might step on him because she is sick and tired of being controlled.

Why Do We Chase After People Who Don't Seem To Care About Our Well Being. When we have been raised by apathetic parents, we have more of a tendency to chase after people who are also apathetic in order to convert them to empathetic people who will reverse the damages of our childhood. Rarely if ever does this horrible system work. One we do our inner work and heal our own hole in the soul we don't need to engage with our herders by setting boundaries and calling out the truth of their game of demeaning, devaluing and destroying for their own gain. We ensure that we can bust the system gone wrong and play a better and healthier game of life.