Campaign On Dice

What makes an Orc a Great Orc? Are there Mediocre Orcs? Plenty of time to ponder questions like that this week, as we get distracted from our mission to relight a volcano or whatever.        May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

This episode starts off confusingly and never stops, as the numbered paragraphs stop making sense almost immediately and we roll more dice over the course of 30 minutes than we did throughout the entire last book.        May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

It's a hot and heavy episode this week, starting with hot and heavy armour and continuing with hot and heavy action throughout. The heat and weight don't let up, so if you don't like cold or light things this one is for you!         May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

A new book means a LIVE EPISODE, so our listeners make all our decisions for us as we fumble through a confusing story about wizards, crumbling citadel walls, and... ostriches?          May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

When you're in a dracula's castle, you should definitely investigate every tomb and sarcophagus you find. Nothing bad ever comes out of a sarcophagus after all.         May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

Is the Count a vampire? Yes. Is this bat a vampire? Probably, yes. Could this weasel be a vampire? Now you're just being silly. Ow, my leg!         May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

A bloke who looks a bit like a vampire who lives in a vampire's castle has offered us some free food and drink. Sounds safe enough.         May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

Inside the spooky castle of a vampire, we spend some time with an underpaid librarian deciding how much money to spend on information we could probably guess for free.        May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

We've been left to our own devices in the woods, so the local wildlife is in terrible danger, and trespassing offences are likely to be committed.      May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

Backpacking through made-up Eastern European countries is a dangerous affair. the roads are full of headless horsemen, the forests are full of bears, and the rivers are full of scuttling gnomes...    May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

We've met several of the Count's relatives; some alive, some less so, but they all seem willing to help us. This should be easy, as long as we don't take on any monsters with much higher SKILL and STAMINA scores... May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

Heading deeper into the Vault of the Vampire, we discover this might be a very different kind of dungeon. Don't touch any door handles... May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

We avoid a forest full of bears to hitch a lift with a headless ghost, to risk being eaten by a dracula in the vain hope that we might rescue a villager's granddaughter.                May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

We fill up on garlic and invite a load of people to join us for a LIVE recording so we don't get scared, as we start Vault of the Vampire, the spookiest children's book you've heard two middle-aged men read today.               May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

The president of the USA needs to be saved, but the Jazz Mind is dead. Long live the Swiss Army Knight. Probably not too long though, considering how badly last week's battles went.     May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

The Jazz Mind faces his strongest foe yet as our listeners decided he should punch a rock monster with his normal human hands instead of running away. It's a pretty one-sided fight to the death, so don't blame us for stretching this episode out a bit.   May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

Last episode Jazz Mind saw off some radioactive dogs with his Jazz Mind powers, and if you were hoping animal cruelty wasn't going to rear its ugly head this episode you are about to be disappointed. Don't blame us, blame Steve for writing it. And for writing several other questionable things which have since been edited to be more acceptable for a 21st century audience. May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

We return to Titan city for another attempt to defeat the forces of FEAR, or at least keep our appointment with it this time, as Martyn steps into the sparkly boots of a new hero with the power of "Magic Move Mind." May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. To instill fear into their hearts, the Silver Crusader went to his local swimming pool for a bit of relaxing down time. This is pretty much how Mark would behave as a superhero, only with more biscuit-eating involved. May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku

With great power there must also come great responsibility. But with rubbish powers you might as well go to an amusement park, right?  May our stamina never fail!  IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy   SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!   TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.  Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku