Seattle Sucks

Greg and Brian sell you a new grift, discover the unwholesome truth about the navigation teams, and effectively crash this podcast into the ground like it's a Boeing product in yet another wasted hour without Colin's guiding hand. Subscribe for access to all our premium episodes. https://www.patreon.com/seattlesucks

Greg and Brian read a solicitation from one Egan Orion before talking about The Stranger's stupefying cover ad on their recent endorsements issue, and the City Council endorsements from very Real Boy, Christopher Rufo, and the Seattle Police Officers Guild (SPOG).

In this episode liberated from behind The Paywall, Greg, Brian, and Colin talk to Rebecca Parson, candidate for Washington's 6th Congressional District and Democratic Socialist, about her district, the incumbent, Modern Monetary Theory (MMT), and her campaign. Subscribe for access to all our premium episodes. https://www.patreon.com/seattlesucks

Greg, Brian, and Colin talk about Bill Gates, Shaun Scott's promised appearance at the Seattle Police Officers Guild (SPOG) Public Safety Forum, recent violence related to policing in Dallas, murder outside of a bar in Portland, and KOMO's vacuous, medieval, and coprophilic followup to "Seattle is Dying," "A Tale of Three Cities."

Greg and Brian talk to the magnanimous and indefatigable Shaun Scott, city council candidate in District 4.

Greg and Brian talk Central Perk pop-up, a food and history (as in class) shortage in Seattle public schools, and more systems of bowel control (for students this time).

Greg, Brian, and Colin examine the "Portland Loo" from all angles, and Mayor Durkan appears to lean on the ACLU w/r/t public criticisms of her police reform plan (or lack thereof). Subscribe for access to all our premium episodes. https://www.patreon.com/seattlesucks

Greg, Brian, and Colin talk Boeing in light of the New Republic's "Crash Course."

Greg, Brian, and Colin talk movies (sorry) before delving into conditions in the King County Jail (we hope you like lead) and Mayor Durkan's plan to expand its use as an ad hoc shelter, and we hear a harrowing tale from the Seattle Times about police inception and the standing up of vigilantes in pursuit of their property.

Greg, Brian, and Colin regretfully pass on publishing a recent "piece" by Ari Hoffman in the city's elite subterranean paper, Mechanical Freak, and an extremely reasonable member of WE Demand SAFE Shopping (this is not a joke) tells Safe Seattle harrowing tales of rampant "robbery" (shoplifting) at their local Safeway, where we learn no cut of meat is safe from pillage and no employee willing to die for the cause of loss prevention. Subscribe for access to all our premium episodes. https://www.patreon.com/seattlesucks

Greg, Brian, and Colin discuss burger failson Saul Spady's inability to procure the usual salmon breakfast at his favorite Capitol Hill restaurant on account of having bad politics, a much needed showcase on dangerous rhetoric w/r/t the unhoused featuring the turgid documentary "Seattle is Dying" from Citations Needed, the ease and simplicity of going back to school on public transit, a broken contract and the continued dependence on the kindness of strangers for the beleaguered First Avenue streetcar project, and a Class War double feature at The Beacon.

Greg, Brian, and Colin are joined by co-chair of the Seattle Democratic Socialists of America (DSA), Captain Maddie, to contemplate the existence of law when drinking The Claw, Elizabeth Warren's kowtow to our "progressive" mayor, the recent rescinding of funding from FEMA for helping the unhoused in King County, and a mistrial after a jury breaks on "political lines" in the cases related to the Milo shooting incident. Subscribe for access to all our premium episodes. https://www.patreon.com/seattlesucks

Greg, Brian, and Colin are joined by co-chair of the Seattle Democratic Socialists of America (DSA), Captain Maddie, to talk about the recent national DSA convention, Shaun Scott's primary win and campaign in the general, the extremely cool city council candidate (not at all a malleable shapeshifting extraterrestrial excavated from a tomb of Antarctic ice) Alex Pederson, and the Political Action Committee (PAC) money that backs him, and stories from the incredible talents showcased in Candidate Survivor.

(Former Captain) Greg, (Captain) Brian, and Colin are joined by once (and future?) Razr owners Mary Anne and Chuy to first mutiny, and then to talk all things Texas: from the possibly polluted groundwaters of tank possessing Lubbock, to our favorite political phenomenon Beto, to shady political dealings and run ins with Agents of Alcohol in San Antonio, and a shocking trip to Dallas (or close enough) in 2008. Subscribe for access to all our premium episodes. https://www.patreon.com/seattlesucks

Greg, Brian, and Colin talk about customer delight and mechanized spider robots in Amazon fulfillment centers, terrible jobs at call centers and on set, and the latest howl from heckin' werepupper, Jason Rantz, about Sawant's singular responsibility and failure to keep Capitol Hill's Williams Place park "clean" (of the unhoused).

Greg, Brian, and Colin discuss the transfer of the public to the private with the announcement of the sale of the Mercer Mega Block, and an unduly credulous article in the Seattle Times about the city's war of terror against "vehicle ranching," the "vehicle ranchers" that run them, and the people living inside those vehicles. Subscribe for access to all our premium episodes. https://www.patreon.com/seattlesucks

Greg, Brian, and Colin talk about the Falling Down commuter, a.k.a Our Lady of the Bus Lane, before diving into a Geekwire interview of the Greatest Seattle Partner that suggests the city is awesome and there's plenty of growth to sell.

Greg, Brian, and Colin witness the shotgun wedding of ED-209 and Jenny, Your Digital Mayor, before digging into the prospect of fare enforcement on street cars (for safety, of course), and the Platty Wagon rolls in to deliver more heartwarming cop content about fearful teachers, horned up School Resource Officers, and dead eyed child soldiers. Subscribe for access to all our premium episodes. https://www.patreon.com/seattlesucks

Greg, Brian, and Colin enumerate "50 Ways to Boot the Seattle City Council" before discussing K-Pop, photoshopped political flyers from Moms for Seattle, living an idyllic life in the Stacks, Ron & Don: Podcasters and Real Estate magnates, and the contentious nationalistic beauty of the accursed Blue Angels.

Greg, Brian, and Colin talk televsion, the eradication of printed newspapers from our favorite Third Place, Starbucks, flying Frenchmen and Amazon drones, and a very special opinion piece in the Seattle Times about Civility, or maybe cars, or...something? Subscribe for access to all our premium episodes. https://www.patreon.com/seattlesucks