Live From Love

It’s all about context. We all want to feel emotionally connected to our spouse but are we sabotaging that with what we’re thinking about and focusing on? When you’re working on the mountain of laundry and your husband starts to help you, do you think, “He’s so supportive!” Or do you think, “It’s about time!” Context! And sex is all about context. Listen to this episode to find out why and what you need in order to have an amazing sex life!

Have you ever heard the phrase that a woman is like a race car? It isn’t that far from the truth. Our bodies were created with systems. And those systems are constantly scanning the environment for things that will press on our sexual accelerators or stomp on the brakes. The key is to figure out how to use that system to increase your sexual desire and have a little fun in the process. Let’s work on releasing those brakes, pushing on those accelerators and seeing what happens!

Garments aren’t sexy. It’s just the truth of the matter! But we are taught that they are an outward symbol of an inward commitment so maybe it’s time that we look at them differently. Symbols are arbitrary - they only hold the meaning that we assign them. So in this episode, we talk about some ways that we can change how we look at our garments, what we can do to change the way we think of them, and how we can increase our intimacy with our spouse.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard about the 5 Love Languages and how you need to figure out what your spouse’s love language is and give them love in that way. Now, there is some truth to this, but I also think that it often becomes a way to keep score to see who is the better partner. That’s not good for you or your marriage. In this episode, we talk about what is good for you and your marriage! You may be surprised by the answer.

Does your orgasm take too long? This is a complaint I hear all of the time from my clients. We as women are culturally trained that our needs are secondary to our husband’s and children’s needs. This is what makes us good wives and mothers, or so we’re taught. So, we often worry about how much time it takes us to orgasm. About whether our husband is bored. About whether we’re being selfish to even want to orgasm. Let’s talk about orgasms in this episode. You are well worth the time!

Did the title of this podcast surprise you? It surprises a lot of my clients too. But it actually makes a lot of sense that you don’t like sex. In this episode, we talk about the top reasons why you don’t like sex. Which one will resonate with you? Then we talk about why those reasons make it so you don’t like sex. Maybe in the end, you’ll find that what you’ve been thinking all along may not be the actual problem.

I want to ask you a question. Are you afraid of pleasure? Maybe you're thinking, “Of course not! I find pleasure in my family or my job.”  But the pleasure I'm talking about is intimate pleasure. Are you afraid to let go and be vulnerable in order to feel pleasure? Is it easier to focus on your spouse's pleasure rather than yours? In this episode, I share with you why pleasure is important! Why, in fact, it's part of who we are made to be!

In this episode, we’re talking about pressure. Both the pressure we put on ourselves and the pressure we feel from our spouses. And in reality, how the internal and external pressure isn’t good for our marriages. Let’s talk about why we put that pressure on and what we can do to let it go and have the relationship we want! Let’s get rid of some of that pressure!

In this episode, let’s talk about words. What are words? They are just letters and syllables that we have been taught are good or bad. But why are they good or bad? It all comes down to our culture. The English language lacks the subtlety that other languages have when it comes to love and our bodies. Maybe we need to take a look at that and change what we see as “dirty words.” Maybe it’s time to change some of those dirty words into sex positive works for us and our spouses.

In this episode, I speak with Mike Peterson about his experiences with fixing his sexual relationship in his marriage. I am so excited to share with you the male perspective of what happens in a marriage when you become more like roommates than intimate partners. Mike lives in Sandy, Utah with his wife Tami and their 5 kids. His passion is talking with other men who are struggling in their relationships to help them avoid some of the mistakes he made while trying to improve his own marriage.

In this episode, I am going to get a little vulnerable with you and talk about my experience with boudoir photography. I, like you, had the wrong idea about what it was and who it was actually for. Through my experience, and the experience of some of my clients, I have found that boudoir photography is less about your husband, and more about you! Once you listen to this episode, maybe your perceptions will change as well.

In American and Conservative Christian culture, we are often taught things about men’s sexuality that are myths. Actually, they are really outright lies. In this episode, we go through 3 myths about a man’s sexuality in the hopes that as we learn what is really true about men and their sexuality that we can have a more intimate relationship with our partners.

In this episode, I’m speaking with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about equality in marriage. This is something that is ingrained in our culture but can be really detrimental to our marriages. We want partnership marriages but to have a partnership marriage, we need to be partners in all aspects of our lives. We discuss how to reframe those ideals we were raised with in order to have the best marriage possible.

Have you buried your sexual desire? How do you know if you have? In our conservative Christian culture, we are often taught that sex is bad or unpleasant, that thinking about it is sinful, or that we should feel ashamed for having sexual desires. But this isn’t how it should be or even has to be! By developing your sexuality, you are going to receive a richness in your life that you have never experienced before. It’s like I always say, when the sex gets better, everything gets better.

Is your husband always initiating sex? In a recent study, that’s what they found, that often men are the ones initiating. But why aren’t you initiating sex? Today we are looking at the reasons why we as women don’t initiate sex, why we should, and how to do it. 

Consent is truly a buzzword right now. In this episode, we take a look at what consent truly means, in your sex life and beyond, and how we can be true to who we really are and say what we really want and need. As women, we are taught to put our desires aside for our husbands and children. Let’s really look at that and see if you can find your true desires that you’ve buried deep down.

Is sex a need? The answer is no...kind of. There are differing viewpoints on how important sex is to each of us, but what we really need to look at is how important it is to us and how we can share that with our partners. Men and women, higher and lower desire partners need to meet their own needs as much as possible. Then your partner is just there for you to love.  It makes for a great marriage and a great relationship.

The 3 keys to any healthy sexual relationship are safety, trust, and vulnerability. And they all build on each other. If we don’t feel safe, we can’t trust our partner, and in turn, we can’t be completely vulnerable with them if we can’t trust them. That’s why we’re talking about safety, trust, and vulnerability in this episode. Let’s find ways to help you be courageous and choose to trust, feel safe, and be completely vulnerable with your partner.

I get asked a lot about desire. My clients notice that throughout the month they are either really ready for sex or they don’t want it at all. And then I ask them if they’ve ever tracked their cycle to see if these days coincide with what’s going on in their bodies. Most haven’t. So today we’re going to talk about what is happening in your body during your menstrual cycle and what that means for your sex life!

In our conservative Christian culture, oral sex comes with a lot of hang ups. But it doesn’t need to. In this episode, let’s talk about how amazing oral sex can be between you and your spouse. Let’s look at the hang ups that either spouse might have and see what we can do to help them. After all, a high percentage of women say that oral sex is the most reliable way for them to orgasm. There is a lot of pleasure to be had there. Maybe it’s time to give it a try?