Warriors Journey - A Narcissistic Abuse Survivors Journey To Peace

Thoughts on a peaceful space and how a lifetime of narcissistic abuse, peace is uncomfortable for me. I feel anxious and out of my element. It’s one of those nights. So I just chatter away until the anxiety reduces. Thanks for being part of my journey! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

This is why you don’t break no contact, once again. I talk about my weight issues and how it’s hurt me that he loathed me for it. I talk about a few other things in order to talk myself out of a panic attack and crying fit I didn’t need another night of. It means so much to talk to the people that will be listening. I feel extreme comfort in that. So Thank you for being there with me. ❤️ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

A little pep talk and prayer from me to you. I hope you’ll realize your worth and how potent you are as a loving, beautiful being who deserves a narcissist free life! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

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Mild Sexual Content Warning - This snippet might get offensive to some??? Maybe??? Idk I just speak freely about how I miss my sex life with my Narcissist husband ( currently separated from) and let out a little details of our private life to help you in case you’re in similar shoes. I actually miss him sexually quite badly and .....well take a listen and I’ll tell you!!

I talk real quick about Inspired actions, what they are and how they can help us heal! We need good happy things around us as narcissistic abuse survivors so that we can heal! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Are we emotional cutters?? Here I talk about an analogy I was presented with in therapy today that makes me say, yeah we definitely are! If we’re staying with a narcissist, or falling off the wagon and breaking no contact...we are definitely emotional cutters! Interesting! We can learn from this. Tomorrow it will be 1 year 4 months away from him and now 1 day no contact. God it sucks when you’re up to a couple months and then break. But all we can do is pick ourself up, dust ourself off, and start all over again! That’s where I’m at. I’m right there with you in the no contact struggle. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Deep down you might’ve known the narcissist was going to no longer be part of your life some day??? I bet with some self reflection you will find you sensed it like I did when I was close to him. And just tried to soak the moment with him up as if I knew I’d later need to live on the memories. It’s almost eerie when I think about it. What a tangled connected, scripted, universe we live in! So yeah I talk about all that stuff in this few little minutes! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Inspired Action Can Never Be a Wrong Action! Talk about making vows to keep myself safe from harmful people like Narcissists. I apologize in advance because I kept losing my train of thought between 420 and PTSD I can’t focus well, although that is improving everyday I’m happy to say!! The ring in the picture is a reminder that just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly.

A little more pick me up tips or survival tips that I actually got from my Narcissist soon to be ex husband and some I learned from my mother in law as well. Please listen to Part 1 first to understand the days will drag part a bit further. #NarcissisticAbuse #survivingAbuse --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

6/5/18 - several months into my journey to peace. I realized that the narcissist gave me some advice years ago that I’ve been using to help get me through this very difficult time of my life. I used his words directly to remind me that this can’t and won’t last forever, in fact it will fly! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

This was 6 months into my journey to peace, 6 months out from my Narcissist/Psychpath husband. When I left him I left all my stuff. I spent the last few awful days before I left at my desk in our bedroom, writing to my support system for advice and help. The desk was finally driven up to me 1200 miles away and the thought of sitting at it gave me great anxiety. On this night I finally sat at it and was comforted by a great Abraham Hicks I found along with some repeating number sequences. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

I haven’t checked the audio on this as I’m standing with my phone in my shower. I got in here lifeless and the energy I received just from recording what I was feeling without thinking about it, helped me to feel lighter. Please use this as a message that you cannot keep it inside. You have to get the feelings out and talk yourself through them. May your vibration be raised with you listen to this, no matter where in time or space you are! Love you world! Good night. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Uploaded an old recording I found unexpectedly earlier, and now hours later see something regarding the topic in my Pinterest feed. Signs... they’re everywhere! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

2/21/18 - Five months into my healing journey. Reading an article from my therapist about trauma bonds and do a audio recording about it to her. Thought I’d share this because it’s all part of the process and the more people can relate to what I feel and say, the more we can work on healing together! You might not be codependent, you might be suffering from trauma bonds from Narcissistic abuse. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

If you’re seeing 777 it means the angels are proud of you and that you’re on path to your purpose in life. In this segment I just finished a prayer for peace in my healing journey and saw 777, it was yet another synchronicity. If you pay close attention, the universe loves to send you these synchronicities to help you and guide you. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

2/6/18 Five months into my journey to peace on a bad night. Crying and getting things off my chest that I wished I could tell him but it wouldn’t matter because narcissists don’t have the capacity to understand the pain they cause and wouldn’t care even if they did. My narcissist said the most horrific things all the years of our marriage and rarely if ever apologized. I’m publishing these moments because I know so many can relate. You are not alone and it will get better I promise! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

5 months into my journey to peace - cool synchronicities stand out to me. They amaze me so much and it can’t rain all the time right?? So I’m laughing and just talking about the synchronicity that presented itself to me. This is to inspire you that in your pain, you can still find magic in this journey away from narcissistic abuse. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

My heart felt feelings on a rough night. 1 year 4 months out and I still have plenty of them! I say a little prayer for all who need it. Love and Light. Bella Light --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

I truly believe being with a narcissistic person or Psychopath or anything under that Anti-Social personality disorder, is part of enlightenment and spiritual awakening. This is just a quick thought I had on the matter. Someone has to play the villain, so they are that person. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support