Video Death Loop

Did you realize the Game Boy Camera solved all your problems? No? Well, that’s because you were probably one of those poor saps playing Pokemon or Tetris or whatever “fad” was happening at the time. The Game Boy camera is real! It has your face in it! Or your dad’s face! Or your bully’s face!… Read more S4:E16 – Game Boy Camera Commercial

The Blair Witch! Oooh,  scary! It has symbols everywhere! The camera is shaking and they are scared and being picked off! We’re all shocked! But it’s rated R so we better not see your 16-year old behind in here! Unless you sneak in with a plate of chicken livers, and then you better share (And… Read more S4:E15 – The Blair Witch Project Movie Trailer

You ever just go to into your car (The passenger side, since you never get to ride in your own car. Enjoy the experience!) and just… Chill? Snoop Dogg does. Or maybe he’s riding in someone’s car and they went inside for a few minutes! Who knows! He could be in mid-transit to making the… Read more S4:E14 – Snoop Dogg Just Sitting in His Car Listening to Let It Go

Have you heard the tale of your local dentist down the block who will give you laughing gas whenever you want?! He’s a little more expensive than most, but he does the job! He’s got only a 3 star on Coruscant Review, but he’s trustworthy! I think he might also be the an emperor of… Read more S4:E13 – The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

What do you think Kenny Loggins is doing during quarantine? Do you think he’s doing the same thing he is doing in here in the music video for pinnacle song from the pinnacle soundtrack of our time, “Top Gun: Music From the Motion Picture”? Probably! Because it’s kind of not a great video! He’s just… Read more S4:E12 – Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone” Music Video

Is the Monterrey Jack Quesadilla date a first-rate date idea? Taco Bell sure thought so! Just as the goop from the bottom of the bag is scooped up into your mouth orifice, you may also experience the joy of a slightly spicy delight of Monterrey Jack cheese with your date on your low-rent sofa meant… Read more S4:E11 – Taco Bell Monterrey Jack Cheese Quesadilla Commercial

Sometimes, you gotta make that sale. And in the cereal world, making that sale is hard. The Rice Krispie guys got a corner on the air puff and desert market. Tony the Tiger knows his stuff is addicting and doesn’t care who he peddles it to because he stands by his product. And we’re still… Read more S4:E10 – Hulk Hogan Honey Nut Cheerio Commerical

Have you seen Speed 2? We sure haven’t. I mean, we’ve seen the trailer yes, but the movie, not so much. Why? What was it about a franchise that lost one of its temporal B-listers and replaced him with boats (ships?) that makes even the truly uncultured such as us lose interest? This week we… Read more S4:E9 – Speed 2 Trailer

Where were you when the new Sakura Wars theme song dropped? Were you watching online? Were you in the audience? Were you, most horrifyingly of all, on…stage? Yeeeesh. This week we watched the New Sakura Wars theme song reveal video on loop! Well, mostly anyway. John Hurst hosts and trims and beard. Aaron Littleton co-hosts… Read more S4:E8 – New Sakura Wars Theme Song Reveal

Whatever you do, do not bing shiny hands. Don’t do it. It’s…it’s not good. Don’t turn off safe search. What are you doing. I said don’t do that. STOP STOP STOP YOU DON’T NEED TO DO THIS It’s an intermission! We’re in our respective homes. There’s not really a host and there’s no video. But… Read more S4, Intermission 1 – The Opposite of the Open Road

I want to tell you about these so-called “humans”, with their so-called “boats”. They dangle…dangle’s the right word right? They dangle worms, the juiciest you’ve ever seen, right down here in our faces. IN OUR FACES! But let me tell you friends, these worms are not what they seem. Oh no, not at all. Not… Read more S4:E7 – Fishing Show Bloopers

What’s your aesthetic? My aesthetic is essentially the Matrix DVD menu: an endlessly looping SD video of overwrought motion graphics hiding special features no one will ever watch and Easter Eggs no one will ever find. On a good day, I prefer this aesthetic through the filter of an early consumer digital camera, applying a… Read more S4:E6 – Sony Mavica Commercial

Just like with money, chicken nuggets have also been hit hard with inflation. It used to be that you could get five chicken nuggets for 99 cents at Wendy’s. Today, in 2019 time, you pay $1 for FOUR nuggets. Where did the other one go? Were we bad enough that we don’t deserve the fifth… Read more S4:E5 – Wendy’s Crispy Chicken Nuggets Commercial

Pants? So modern. Shirt? IG as F. Overly simplistic computer graphics that look like they came out of a Chinese AI factory for children’s YouTube video creation? Near perfection. A symmetrical ring of underwear poking out from above your belt? Ehhh – some things will never be cool. This week we watched the “Butterfly” music… Read more S4:E4 – Smile.dk “Butterfly” Music Video

Dunkaroos loom large in our collective unconscious. Sydney or Duncan or whoever was your Dunkaroos mascot, villain of a thousand faces, almost certainly lurks in some forgotten corner of your brain. His domain is somewhere between barely suppressed animal instincts and memories obliterated by alcoholic whipped cream. He waits, cookie held at ready, waiting on… Read more S4:E3 – Dunkaroos Commercial

Dr. Light slams hatch on his 200X Pontiac Aztek, the back seat folded down and full of plastic pet carriers. Stifling a chuckle, the bearded scientist pats the back window. “Y’know, Dr. Light, some of us were wondering,” the young shelter worker rubs the fronts of his pants nervously, “well, we were wondering…uh…what you do… Read more S4:E2 – French Mega Man 2 Commercial

It’s time for season 4 of Video Death Loop, and we’re starting off with…something. Something really real. Something by David Lynch, though we’re not entirely sure what. Sure, it’s a PlayStation 2 commercial, but what if it was also not that? Or even more harrowingly, what if it is that? What if that’s all this… Read more S4:E1 – PlayStation 2: The Third Place

Fuck Donald Trump fuck Trumpy bear fuck the person that invented Trumpy Bear Fuck that aloe plant in the fake office in the Trumpy Bear commercial Listen you know, I have feelings about this Anyway, John Hurst struck back with the Trumpy Bear commercial which I cannot believe is real but seemingly is. John Hurst… Read more S3:E45 – Trumpy Bear Commercial

A scream. A scream in the darkness. Your eyes dilate, searching the horizon. You stumble forward, rough bark from a tree you couldn’t see ripping your arm. You’re in the woods? The scream continues. Who is that? Warm blood trickles down your arm, pumping much faster from the wound than you would expect. What is… Read more S3:E44 – LeetStreet Boys “She’s So Kawaii” Music Video

The Heinz lawyer stares at you through steepled fingers. His suit is a deep, deep red. His face is indistinguishable and you’ve already forgotten his name. He sits, expectantly but in no hurry. Your eyes drift to the contract on the desk between you. Level 1. You expected as much, but it’s still a disappointment.… Read more S3:E43 – McDonald’s Kiwi Burger Commercial