Video Death Loop

Oh, you think it’s just going to be a nostalgia trip through commercial land. They always think that. One minute you’re watching the Bubble Tape Commercial on a streaming site of your choice and the next minute you’re buying it at your gas station and remembering that chalky taste that never quite goes away. As… Read more S5:E15 – Bubble Tape Commercial

You’re at the hottest restaurant in town. You think. You’re not sure if your friend who swears by the place said it was on the first or second floor but you’re there. A decision has to be made. Surely, if they’re in the same building, they’re both equally good, right? You make a decision. It’s… Read more S5:E14 – Book Promotional Video Template

Your abs need a shape! Any shape! And you need to find the perfect way to do nothing while doing that! What if I said I had that and can still make you terrified to do small menial tasks while doing so? Then I have the Hawaii Chair just for you! Imagine a chair with… Read more S5:E13 – Hawaii Chair Infomercial

You are Tom Green. You just put a mouse in your mouth. It’s the third time you’ve done it this week for three different movies. You think this one is for some movie called Road Trip, but you’re not quite sure. You’re mixing up the movie plots. You would be mixing up the lines, but… Read more S5:E12 – Road Trip (2000) Official Trailer

The world wasn’t ready for the FlavorPro Injector. Noone was. Not you. Not me. Not the Rocket School where it was used to keep its inventor around because noone knew how to properly baste a meat despite having plenty of access to fire and potential cooking experience from the fire. He was a person of… Read more S5:E11 – FlavorPro Infomercial

It’s time to go to sleep, engineer! Get to the back to the caboose, where you sleep, I think. They didn’t pay for that insurance for nothing! And if they did, well, why did they do that?! While you’re going back there, tell them about our in-transit entertainment, which is nothing but the opening to… Read more S5:E10 – “Going Bananas” TV Opening

It’s 2:04 in the afternoon. It’s time to start getting ready to go home from school. Or… Is it? Maybe you put on your sweatband. Maybe you put on your dancing gloves. Maybe you have the whole suit to go with it! The breakdance suit. Because you’re part of the Breakdance Club at your local… Read more S5:E9 – HCRHS Breakdance Club Commercial

It’s the night shift again. It’s time for you to close up. It was a busy day at your Arby’s franchise, but you feel like the service you gave was at least worth a “3” on the Customer Satisfaction Survey. Heck, maybe it was even a “4”! You’re satisfied. Still, the stress of the day… Read more S5:E8 – Fushigi Ball Commercial

The Sandwich Artist beckons. Come. Enter the lair of magic and protein. Become filled with wonder about the amount of carbs and vegetable-based products in this laboratory of food. You are welcomed here. You and your hunger. We know why you have arrived in this nexus of hunger and salvation. It was not by choice.… Read more S5:E7 – Subway’s Uncharted 3 TV Promo

Matthew McConaughey! A man of action! Romance! The movies! He’s been in it all! But has he been in the Sahara? Yes, actually. He has been, in a movie no one can actually remember seeing but everyone thinks was kind of alright! Was he finding gold? Yeah, sure, maybe. Was he doing the action? All… Read more S5:E6 – Sahara Movie Trailer

What the hell is Cola? We don’t know! We don’t have access to the internet in this business room. It’s against corporate policy! We have a white board, some markers that are half dry and the most powerful tool we have at our disposal: Our minds! Now, let’s make some circles (use the green markers)… Read more S5:E5 – I Wanna Shasta 1983 Vintage Commercial

You gotta make that content! Everyone’s doing it these days! If you don’t have a personal brand, you might as well be Personally Damned ™! You can hear this and more on my self-help audio cassette “Jumping Ropes Through Life”, which has been used by many successful people! Take virtual youtuber Korone Inugami, for instance!… Read more S5:E4 – 130万人いくまでやめられない縄跳び (Inugami Korone)

Welcome to the meeting. Come inside. How you vibing? You vibing good. Well, worry not. While you’re  hear inside the sauna, you can let all your worries go away. Rest your head. Let your stress melt away. Listen to the music of Peter Gabriel play on the radio nearby. We only have one song, and… Read more S5:E3 – Peter Gabriel “Steam” Music Video

It’s a Snow Day! A day of snow! Away from your school and all your fears! Nicklelodeon Movies knows what all the kids wants and they’re going to give it to you in spades (Get it? Spades? Because you need to use shovels for snow and– Okay, I’ll stop. I promise I’ll stop. Spades though!!–) That… Read more S5:E2 – “Snow Day” Trailer

It’s Topps day. Your co-worker is getting the latest uncut set of Topps Football 1989 Cards for the last season. Everyone is excited to find their team’s players name and look at the stats on the back of their known players on the team. Nothing else can be revealed, for if it is, you were… Read more S5:E1 – 1-900-CRY TV Commercial

Barney! Would you get a load of this? I’m trying to invent a new form of food to help us wake up and start the day! You know how I invented day and night cycles, right? Yeah, Barnes, you know it! Well, I put a bunch of salt, rice and sugar together with a bunch… Read more S4:E41 – Fruity Pebbles/Cocoa Pebbles Christmas Commercial

Hey guys, it’s Uno! The game you play with people you barely know and only want to know slightly more about them by the end! Do they draw more cards? Can you make them skip their turn? Whatever! It’s Uno! Noone remembers who even won by the end! Yeah, we’ll have it done by next… Read more S4:40 – Uno PS1 Game Opening Movie.avi

Enter into the dojo of one Chop Chop Master Onion. He’s an onion. Not a wild onion that you may find in your yard or that John cannot find for the life of him, but a real onion. The type you’d put on your pizza or a calzon and sell as a promotional pizza from a… Read more S4:E39 – “Parappa The Rapper Remastered – Chop Chop Master Onion”

This trash just keeps piling up!! What’s a person with an open top convertible to do other than just throw it on the side of the road and give the middle finger to the climate as a whole? That’s just what this Tennessee Trash PSA does and it does it with the most battle damaged car… Read more S4:E38 – Original 1976 Tennessee Trash PSA

Hey Ghosts! Are you a ghost? If you’re a ghost you have to say “Booooo!” At least that’s what this Applesauce container says. It’s really weird that I’m following what an applesauce container says, but that’s because it’s 4 PM and I’m waiting for the reruns of Knight Rider to  hit my TV Screen after… Read more S4:E37 – Knight Rider Theme