Load Bearing Beams

We unpack Matt's lifelong fear of crocodilians by taking a look at 1999's big budget B-movie spectacular, Lake Placid. Is this schlocky special effects extravaganza just a Jurassic Park ripoff, or a sly commentary on the genre with a brilliant cast (Bridget Fonda, Brendan Gleeson, Oliver Platt, Bill Pullman, and Betty White) operating at the top of their game interacting with a killer croc made by a master of practical creature effects (Stan Winston) and directed by a guy (Steve Miner) who seems to know what he's doing? Spoiler: It's the latter. This movie RULES. We were as surprised as you will be.  Want to watch this episode? Head over to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@loadbearingbeams2747 Catch our most recent video episode, on Howard Stern's Private Parts: https://youtu.be/vift8VSjRsM Artwork by Laci Roth. Music by Rural Route Nine (Wade Hymel and Matt Stokes). Listen to their album The Joy of Averages on Spotify: https://bit.ly/42vff7s

Laci picked the Howard Stern movie Private Parts (1997) for this episode, so we thoroughly discuss this odd but very charming film and try to figure out what it's really trying to say. Laci unpacks her history with Howard Stern, which literally involves her listening to his show in class via large headphones hidden by a hoodie. And Matt goes on a too-long solliloquy about his favorite radio show, the Dan Le Batard Show, and how it parallels Howard Stern's show.   Watch this episode on YouTube! Artwork by Laci Roth. Music by Rural Route Nine (Wade Hymel and Matt Stokes). Listen to their album The Joy of Averages on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/3oj7ZSGqfnZTtTlXa1fyeo?si=OaGVYO8bSGagHzf-fOVABQ 

The other members of Matt's band Rural Route Nine join the show for a classic two-movie Load Bearing Beams therapy session. Wade Hymel triumphantly returns to the show to convince the gang of the merits of the 2000 Ben Stiller/Robert DeNiro comedy Meet the Parents, while Patrick Perot presents The Blair Witch Project (1999) for consideration. We discuss the history of found footage horror movies, being fooled into thinking The Blair Witch Project was real back in 1999, whether it's possible to make any sense of the Blair Witch lore, and whether any good horror movies were made in the 2000s. That plus an extensive discussion of the obscure low-budget Meet the Parents from 1992 on which the Ben Stiller film was based, the smokiness of Blythe Danner, and why this movie really should have been a romantic comedy about Greg Focker and Jack Byrnes falling in love with each other. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/VemICqDy70A Rural Route Nine has an album out! You can listen to the whole thing on Spotif

(Do keep in mind that this podcast is rated R for utterly filthy language.) Well hi there, partner. Load Bearing Beams is back for season 2 with a long and free-wheeling discussion of Grease 2 (1982). This famously bad (but maybe it's not so bad?) sequel to the 1978 smash was an enormous flop upon release, but it has built quite a cult following over the years. We break it down, plus talk extensively about the first Grease movie and the different versions of the stage musical that preceded it. Plus we get to the bottom of whether the T-Birds and Pink Ladies in either of these movies actually like each other, and what Michael Carrington (Maxwell Caulfield) is really up to down in that bomb shelter.  Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/6DRCIWgRdHw  Artwork by Laci Roth. Music by Rural Route Nine (Wade Hymel and Matt Stokes). Listen to their album The Joy of Averages on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/3oj7ZSGqfnZTtTlXa1fyeo?si=OaGVYO8bSGagHzf-fOVABQ 

Is this the most forgotten movie we've ever covered? Probably. But if you don't listen to this episode, we'll make fun of you, dweeb. 

Laci and Matt unpack the movie and music career of Will Smith, the biggest movie star of his generation, and the notorious disaster that is 1999's Wild Wild West. Is this movie really the calamity everyone says it is? Listen to find out. 

We prepare to enter the tournament that is the 1995 adaptation of Mortal Kombat.  Time stamps: What are our relationship dealbreakers when it comes to both food and movies? [2:04] Is Homer Simpson the most iconic TV character of all time? [08:43] We react to the Oscars [09:55] Matt returned to the movie theater for the first time in 14 months and immediately regretted buying popcorn [20:08] Laci tries to name Mortal Kombat characters [23:22]

Call in the Insane Clown Posse, because this episode is twisted. Please forgive the audio issues on this one. :(

It's Roth v. Stokes in this episode. The gloves are off. Fisticuffs. A brawl for all. A royal rumble. Malice at the Palace. We got a donnybrook on our hand, folks, because Laci thinks the Roland Emmerich-Matthew Broderick Godzilla (1998) is the worst movie Load Bearing Beams has ever covered, while Matt thinks it is merely bad. Who will prevail? Matt's brother Elliott and sister Maggie stop by eventually (at the 1 hour, 4 minutes mark) to help settle the whole ordeal.  Other topics covered include: Laci and Matt have both now received the COVID vaccine Matt suspects a boomer is sending him conspiracy theory videos in response to his advocacy for the vaccine on Facebook The history of the Godzilla franchise Why neither Laci nor Matt cares for Matthew Broderick The Green Day song "Brain Stew" Why Independence Day is good but Godzilla is bad Why this Godzilla is bad, but still probably the best American-made Godzilla movie (Yes, it's better than the 2014 Gareth Edwards movie, is what we're saying.). 

Elvis was a hero to Laci, but he never meant s*!@ to Matt. When your two hosts first started dating, Laci asked Matt a fundamental question: "Are you an Elvis person, or a Beatles person?" Matt thought it was a nonsensical question. What kind of person would choose Elvis over the Beatles? His future wife, that's who!  And so. We were going to pick an Elvis Presley movie for this episode and use it as a springboard to talk about Elvis in general, and see if Laci could persuade Matt to warm up to him. But, after watching a four-hour documentary on the man and doing a deep dive into his music, we decided to skip the feature film and just talk about Elvis. You'll love this episode so tender, you will! The discussion covers: Elvis Presley: The Searcher - HBO documentary Why we're always bummed when our favorite podcasts have guests Sexual assault allegations against Marilyn Manson, a person we inexplicably talk about a lot on this show but now must recognize as a piece of shit Non-fungible tokens Death certifica

A very cranky Matt and Laci discuss the 2009 man-playin'-God thriller Splice. Topics covered include: TV vs. movies, bioethics, children, parenting, Koko the gorilla, plus an extensive breakdown of this movie's opening credits.

Celebrate this weekend with your very-much-alive-thank-you pals Laci and Matt, who are discussing the 1989 comedy classic Weekend At Bernie's (1989). 

Because he saw Red Dragon (2002) before he saw The Silence of the Lambs, a young and idiotic Matt thought it was just plumb terrific, and so he and his bride review it on this episode, which features extension discussion of the entire Hannibal Lecter/Thomas Harris universe (except for the television show Hannibal). 

This one's a jazz set, a lazy river. Let the conversation take you where it's gonna take you, ya know?  Topics covered: Waterparks Whether or not talking about food is interesting The merits of the Foo Fighters The TV show The Crown  The merits of a system of government wherein the head of state and head of government are separated 

Another of Laci's faves is a cult classic from the '90s: 1999's Jawbreaker, the tale of three popular girls who accidentally murder their friend and then clumsily cover it up while also navigating the minefield that is high school. But about half of this episode is Matt explaining why he is disgusted by candy and how hard it was for him to watch this movie given the prominence of the titular Jawbreaker. 

Deploy your cowcatcher and join Laci and Matt as they unpack Buster Keaton's action-comedy classic, The General (1927). Often considered the greatest of all silent films, it is undoubtedly an impressive technical achievement... but can the jaded and cynical people of today enjoy a movie like this 100 years later after it was made? Listen and find out. 

Your favorite podcast hosts who are married to each other and talk about movies that they loved when younger but haven't seen in a long time and are concerned might not hold up to the scrutiny and cynicism that is aging return to discuss the classic 1994 comedy Dumb and Dumber.  Matt's distaste for 1990s Jim Carrey has been well explored on this show, but will he be won over this time around? Or will Laci have to eat a headless parakeet and admit that the film just isn't very good? You could cut the tension with a knife, folks. 

Laci and Matt unpack the movie Network (1976), a movie that predicted that one day, the television news would be kind of silly. Can you even imagine? 

Laci and Matt didn't watch a proper Load Bearing Beams movie for this episode, so they instead reflect on all the TV and movies they've been watching recently: Munich, The Post, JFK, Nixon, Spotlight, The Simpsons, Futurama, Disenchantment, I Know That Voice, High Score   PLUS: Two separate stories about being scammed A story about Laci's appearance at a meeting of the New Orleans Historical Landmark Commission Laci has a fantasy wherein she talks her way out of a mental institution. Matt's favorite and least favorite movies that Laci has picked, and Laci names her favorite and least favorite movies that Matt has picked for the show

Are you ready to get twisted? Wicked? Witch-tisted? Some of those? Then grab your woz-blomkers and fiz-tizzlers and mouse-growsers and dog droppings and catch this quintessential "child's horror" film, 1990's The Witches.