Load Bearing Beams

This is the end, beautiful friends. We conclude the Summer of Rock with the much-better-than-I-remembered Jungle Cruise, a movie we abruptly pivoted to covering after trying to watch Black Adam and giving up out of boredom.  We cover the history of movies based on theme parks, the rocky production of Jungle Cruise, its unfortunate failure at the box office, and then we go through the movie itself, trying to figure out if this is one of The Rock’s better late-career performances or if he’s being carried entirely by Emily Blunt. The Summer of Rock is our summer 2025 miniseries covering the movie career of Dwayne Johnson through nine movies, presented in chronological order. Starting with his attempt at crossing over from the world of wrestling, The Rock’s career got off to a bumpy start before finally taking off in the 2010s. But it wasn’t long before the bumps returned, and we’ll be telling the story for you all summer long! Next week: We’ll have a shorter bonus episode to wrap up the Summer of Rock, and we’ll

They went and made a dang spin-off to the Fast & Furious franchise, and it made a ton of money, and there's no chance it'll ever get a sequel because no one liked it. Especially not Matt. Matt is utterly miserable talking about Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019), but Laci's able to help him get through it by diving in to all the messy drama surrounding Dwayne Johnson's feud with Vin Diesel that led to Luke Hobbs getting exiled from the main Fast & Furious series of movies.  Next week: Black Adam (2022) The Summer of Rock is our summer 2025 miniseries covering the movie career of Dwayne Johnson through nine movies, presented in chronological order. Starting with his attempt at crossing over from the world of wrestling, The Rock’s career got off to a bumpy start before finally taking off in the 2010s. But it wasn’t long before the bumps returned, and we’ll be telling the story for you all summer long!   Subscribe to our Patreon, Load Bearing Beams: Collector's Edition for $5 a month

There were big expectations in 2017 for the Baywatch movie. 21 Jump Street had shown that raunchy, irreverent takes on cheesy '80s and '90s TV shows could earn bofo box office, and with the dual star power of Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron, it looked as if Baywatch couldn't miss. But critics hated it and the movie was a flop at the box office, canceling Paramount’s big plans for a Baywatch Cinematic Universe. So, what happened? And is the movie really as bad as its reputation? What does this movie think it is? Is it a raunchy R-rated comedy that wants to mock its source material? Or is it a loving tribute to the most-watched series in the world in the 1990s? It’s… kind of neither. Does The Rock make any sense in the lead role of Lieutenant Mitch Buchanan, or has he fully entered the “most boring actor in every movie he’s in” portion of his career? Why does the movie suddenly start working as a surprisingly functional comedy when The Rock inexplicably disappears from the movie for 25 minutes and Efron takes over

We're off for the week but here's an extensive chunk from our premium episode to tide you over till then. It's a spoiler-filled discussion of The Fantastic Four: First Steps with our guests Neophyte Reviews and Screentime Kota. The Summer of Rock resumes in one week with an episode about Baywatch (2017)! Another MCU movie has arrived, and Matt’s being a real Ebeneezer Scrooge about it. Neophyte Reviews and Screen Time Kota join the show to try to convince him not to be such a grump and to welcome things like light and joy into his heart.   And so, we have for you a spoiler-filled discussion of Matt Shakman’s THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS, in which an angry mob tries to steal a baby. (Matt’s on the mob’s side.)   Meanwhile, Kota fills several chalkboards with equations to demonstrate the multiverses upon multiverse contained within this movie, and Neo explains the most powerful being in all of existence: Franklin.   Follow Neophyte Reviews: TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@neophyte_reviews  Instagram - https

Sony made a sequel to Jumanji, that sad Robin Williams movie from the ‘90s, 22 years later? And it made a billion dollars? And everyone liked it??   It’s true. And as a result, every time a movie studio makes a questionable legacy sequel this is why. They’re telling themselves: “It worked with Jumanji.” It’s why Disney is putting out a Tron movie this year.   Well, the thing is, the movie needs to be good! And Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle IS good. It’s a very likable and winning comedy. It’s just kind of a lackluster blockbuster.   But what a fun cast! The Rock is once again able to have fun playing a guy who feels very awkward looking like The Rock. Kevin Hart is very funny, Karen Gillan kicks ass, and Jack Black gives maybe his best ever performance. Nick Jonas is also here.   And this movie has us asking the big questions. What makes you you and me me? Are our personalities completely predetermined? Do NPCs have a right to privacy? If you’re popular in high school, will you be popular f

Pain & Gain is Michael Bay’s magnum opus, a razor-sharp dissection of the American id. This movie has it all: Con artistry, prosperity gospel, and drugs, drugs, drugs! It also features career-best performances of Dwayne Johnson, Mark Wahlberg, and Anthony Mackie, and it’s easily Bay’s best movie. Indeed, it’s a look at an alternate career for Johnson where he could play interesting, complicated, vulnerable characters like he does in this movie. Instead, he made a bunch of movies with big cars and/or gorillas.   Still, Pain & Gain is an absolute blast and we had a great time breaking it down, marveling at how much fun it is and how well it predicted what America would feel like in 2025.   Next week: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)   The Summer of Rock is our summer 2025 miniseries covering the movie career of Dwayne Johnson through nine movies, presented in chronological order. Starting with his attempt at crossing over from the world of wrestling, The Rock’s career got off to a bu

Time stamps: 00:14:24 — Our personal histories with the Fast & Furious franchise 00:30:55 — History segment: The history of the Fast & Furious franchise; director Justin Lin; on the weekend of Fast Five’s release, Dwayne Johnson Tweets the news that Osama bin Laden has been killed 00:49:55 — In-depth movie discussion 02:02:15 — Final thoughts and star ratings   Laci and Matt hop in a go-fast car and head for Rio de Janeiro to join up with Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker), and their whole extended family, as they attempt the heist of the century. All while trying to evade federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), the deadliest agent you’ll find  in Hillary Clinton’s State Department.   We discover how fascinating Vin Diesel is for Laci, who has had startlingly little exposure to the man of the vast empire he controls. We try to figure out what it is he does well… because it’s hard to say what it is, there’s just something about him.   Honestly, that’s

It is with heavy hearts that we have to push back our release schedule one week. Actually, no, our hearts are light and full of joy. A new baby has been added to House Stokes in the form of past guest Elliott (from the Home Alone 2 episode) and his lovely wife having a baby. Said baby was just very inconsiderate in arriving at precisely the time we were set to record our Fast Five episode. So, it'll be here in a week. All will be well.   In the meantime, we're flashing back to last summer when it was the Summer of Spielberg, and we're giving you one of our most popular episodes, the Jurassic Park episode featuring AJ and Kristie from the In Love With Horror podcast.   The Summer of Spielberg continues as Laci and Matt were able to buckle their seatbelts in time for their helicopter to land on Isla Nublar, where they meet up with AJ & Kristie from the In Love With Horror podcast to talk about Jurassic Park (1993). The four team up for a rollicking podcast so good it’ll have you shouting

Hey folks, we're off this week, but we'll be back next week with our Fast Five episode, as the Summer of Rock rolls on! In the meantime, enjoy some samplings from the additional bonus material available on our YouTube channel (https://youtube.com/@loadbearingbeamspod).  Time stamps: 1:30  — Top-Five Jurassic Park Movies (excluding Jurassic Park) 9:06 — Revisiting Gareth Edwards's Godzilla (2014)

Well, a movie finally broke us. Horror and mortal terror have a face.   In the absolutely dreadful “family film” Tooth Fairy (2010)—quite possibly the worst movie our podcast has ever covered—Dwayne Johnson plays Derek Thompson, a hockey player who specializes in knocking out opponents’ teeth. He has a lot on his plate: He’s dating Ashley Judd, who has two kids: An adorable little girl who loves him and a punk teenage boy who thinks he’s full of crap (Because he is.). At the same time, Derek has some hotshot new competition in the form of Mick “The Stick” Donnelly, a hot-shot new prospect who is described in the span of 25 seconds by the team’s coach as both “the future face of this (minor league) franchise” and “only here for a cup of coffee before he makes the NHL.”   Then he becomes the Tooth Fairy. Hilarity ensues.   Next week: We're off! We return on July 11 for an episode about Fast Five (2011).   The Summer of Rock is our summer 2025 miniseries covering the movie career of Dwayne Johnson

Dwayne Johnson followed up his debut lead performance in The Scorpion King with The Rundown. Released as Welcome to the Jungle outside America, The Rundown might be his very best movie. Along with Seann William Scott, Rosario Dawson, and a deliciously hammy Christopher Walken, The Rock is firing on all cylinders as both a physical and emotional actor. He can be funny when called to be, but leaves most of the humor to Scott and Walken, and he really shines as a stoic badass.   It's no mistake that Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a cameo at the beginning of this movie, passing by The Rock and telling him to "have fun." It was his world now. As The Scorpion King was The Rock's version of Conan the Barbarian, The Rundown was his version of Commando. Unfortunately, the world had changed since the 1980s, and the public appetite for throwback action-adventure movies was waning.   We were robbed of a world where he made a movie of this quality every year. But we’re also robbed of a world where dozens of mo

The Summer of Rock begins as Laci and Matt dive into the movie career of Dwayne Johnson with his first leading role in The Scorpion King (2002). The Rock first graced the big screen a year earlier in The Mummy Returns, in a brief prologue in which he plays a character who seemingly has nothing to do with the sturdy nice fellow he plays in Scorpion King. And now he gets to lead a picture. And what a picture. An old-fashioned picture, you might say. One refreshingly free of irony, self-awareness, or any of the oppressive trappings of modernity. This movie’s kinda great, actually. And so is The Rock. Is it possible his career peaked with his first feature? We shall find out in the weeks and months ahead.   Bonus video: Matt explains why all movie studio CEOs are basically the exact same guy and why they all make the exact same decisions. Watch it on YouTube: https://youtu.be/MC1dxeLQrgY     Next week: The Rundown (2003) Subscribe to our Patreon, Load Bearing Beams: Collector's Edition for $5

We're off this week, preparing for the Summer of Rock, which starts next week with an episode about The Scorpion King (2002). In fact, here is our schedule for the rest of the month: June 13 - The Scorpion King (2002) June 20 - The Rundown (2003) June 27 - Tooth Fairy (2010)   In the meantime, please enjoy Matt's semi-spoiler-y review of Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning. And please follow us on YouTube to get all kinds of bonus content: https://youtube.com/@loadbearingbeamspod  

Friend of the Show Wade Hymel makes his triumphant return to the podcast, and he’s brought with him I Love You, Man (2009).   So what’s up with men, huh? With their man caves, and their jam seshes, and their pizza pies. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t help but love ‘em, am I right?   And how do adults make friends anyway? It’s pretty weird. Somebody should make a movie about it.   Oh, that’s what this movie is.   Hear Wade's amazing album WHO SAID THAT? on Apple Music (https://bit.ly/4kinkpJ), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3SoQnM3), or wherever else music is streamed. Or you can purchase the album from Bandcamp (https://bit.ly/3I2Syje).   Bonus video: Matt unpacks the story of The Black Cauldron, Disney’s biggest ever flop. Watch it on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rHeypRjToic    Next week: We’re off. Our Summer of (redacted) miniseries begins the following Friday (June 13) with an episode about (redacted… listen to the episode to learn what it is!).   Subscribe to our Patreon, Load Bearing Be

Join us at Stan Mikita’s for crullers, dear listener, as we go through one of the very best comedies of the 1990s: It’s Wayne’s World. Excellent.   But is it truly Wayne’s world? How much control does Wayne really have? What does he want? What does he stand for? And will he ever transcend the limitations of his corporeal space? We definitively answer these and so much more, as we cover both the making of the movie (including what sounds like a very difficult experience for director Penelope Spheeris in having to work with Mike Myers) and the movie itself, reading very closely to divine its message. Bonus video: Matt tells you about the ONLY Disney Animated Feature that you won’t find on Disney Plus, and why that is. Watch it on YouTube: https://youtu.be/upu6z3Zyf40 Next week: I Love You Man (2009) with special guest Wade Hyel Subscribe to our Patreon, Load Bearing Beams: Collector's Edition for $5 a month to get two extra episodes! patreon.com/loadbearingbeams    Time stamps: 00:03:00 — Our

Laci and Matt are broadcasting to you from a cabin in the woods, where they're eating canned cat food with oven mitts, trying to dodge that pesky Grim Reaper. But the rats need their cheese, so here’s a new episode about Final Destination (2000). (You’re the rat, I guess.)   It’s the movie that launched one of the great horror franchises. A franchise that Matt posits is Friday the 13th for the decade of the 2000s. This series has it all: Primitive cell phones! Internet research on big ole computers! And nu-metal, nu-metal, nu-metal.   And it all started here, with this movie that began life as an X-Files spec script and, even in its final form, has forgotten to take the X-Files out. That’s not a bad thing.   Next week: Wayne’s World (1992)   Bonus Video: We suggest scenarios we’d like to see in future FInal Destination sequels. Check it out on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.   Subscribe to our Patreon, Load Bearing Beams: Collector's Edition for $5 a month to get

Matt's declaration that he was forever finished with the Marvel Cinematic Universe lasted all of one movie, once Thunderbolts* started getting good reviews. So he went out and saw it, and thought it was..... okay. But to go through it, he needed to bring on two big-time fans of the movie, so Neophyte Reviews and Screen Time Kota join the show for a discussion of Thunderbolts* and the Marvel Cinematic Universe in general. This CLIP features the first 35 minutes of the discussion. You can get the rest of the discussion by subscribing to LOAD BEARING BEAMS: COLLECTOR'S EDITION on Patreon: https://patreon.com/loadbearingbeams Follow Neophyte Reviews: TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@neophyte_reviews  Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/neophyte_reviews/  YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@neophyte_reviews  Follow Screen Time Kota: TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@screentimekota  Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/screen_time_kota/  YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ScreenTimeKota   

Please note: Like how Death Proof uses fake film grain to make it seem like it’s an older movie, only to stop doing it halfway through, Laci and Matt’s audio improves halfway through this episode. You might not even notice the audio isn't great in the first half... but if you do, just know it gets better eventually.   Friend of the Show Cinema Chris joins Laci and Matt to talk about Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof (2007). Originally a 90-minute movie presented as part of a double feature alongside Robert Rodriguez’s Planet Terror, Death Proof now stands on its own (in an expanded edition) as one of the more fascinating entries in Tarantino’s filmography. We discuss the beautiful animal that is Kurt Russell, Rose McGowan’s captivating pronunciation of “chocolate milk,” and how much joy there is to be had in a car going vroom-vroom real fast.    Follow Chris on TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@cinemavault), Instagram (https://bit.ly/3GKiYc9), and Letterboxd (https://bit.ly/4m5AGqr).    Next wee

Hey folks, we had to make a programming change this week because one of our bodies did a medical oopsie and we ended up in the emergency room. Everything's fine... but wait till the bill comes, am I right?? Anyway, we had to push back our Death Proof episode, so now, we have unlocked our Royal Tenenbaums episode from behind the Patreon paywall. See you in a week! Love you goodbyeeee.

Friend of the Show Jen (@JenWalksN2Walls on TikTok) joins us to cover Sister Act 2. We once again follow the misadventures of Deloris (Whoopi Goldberg), a Las Vegas headliner who selfishly abandons the backup dancers, crew members, and support staff who rely on her show to make their living, all so she can go be a substitute teacher at a Catholic school for some reason. Seriously, is she paying all these people out of her pocket while her show is on hiatus? Or is she like Jimmy Fallon during the 2023 strikes, sending them each a $20 gift card and best wishes?   Anyway. This movie’s a lot of fun, but it is all over the place. Looking into the production history, we see it’s a hastily produced sequel that seems almost as if it started as an original, unrelated script about a high school choir competition and then had the Sister Act nuns awkwardly grafted onto it. Still, Whoopi Goldberg is her usual delightful self, but she’s outshined by these delightful kids, including a just-about-to-be-a-superstar