Conversations With Cinthia

Immaturity doesn’t always recognize itself.  Sometimes we assume that, having completed the first eighteen years of our lives and acquired adult bodies, tasks, and roles, we must be adults in every sense of the word.  Cinthia explains, however, that growing up and growing older are two very different things, and learning to take responsibility for ourselves is a major hallmark of emotional maturity.  So how do we gauge our own maturity needs?  How do we make sure we are not emotional children or teenagers who insist we can handle our own lives but have unrealistic expectations of the world?  How do we grow up if we are?  Today Cinthia explores the signs that we may need to keep growing and moving toward adulthood so that we can more effectively be the people we were created to be, as well as ways we can do this.

Do you ever wonder whether you are fulfilling your life's purpose?  Have you experienced times when you felt lost and without vision or purpose?  How does God view you in your uncertainty, doubt, or confusion, and what are you supposed to do about it?  Today Cinthia discusses what it's like to feel lost and offers some guidelines for those who feel this way right now.  She even shares the lyrics to a song she wrote during one of her own similar experiences.  Join her to explore what it means to receive the grace and mercy of God when we have no vision of our own.

Have you ever had someone reject a compliment or other gift you wanted to give?  Today Cinthia discusses the parting gift Jesus left us before His death, resurrection, and ascension: His peace.  We tend to have so much trouble acknowledging and enjoying this gift, often gravitating toward worry and negativity.  How do we access this gift?  How do we open and enjoy it?  Cinthia explains the role of trust in helping us reject worry and access the gift of peace God gives us.  She also discusses the way our thoughts impact our physiology.  Join her this week to consider how to take another step toward wholeness and well-being, regardless of whether our circumstances make it likely.

Do you ever fear being kind to yourself?  Does it seem like loving behavior toward yourself might enable bad behavior and harshness might be necessary to inspire change?  Building on last week’s discussion of dying to the things that are killing us, today Cinthia discusses dying to self-hatred and the belief that self-flagellation is the best way to remake ourselves into what we should be.  In this episode, Cinthia discusses what kindness is and is not (Hint: It’s not extreme self-indulgence or self-deception.) and looks at some research on how being kind impacts our bodies and minds.  She considers passages from the Bible that teach God’s kindness is what changes us, and that this kindness is the example we are commanded to follow.  Join Cinthia to discover what it means to love your own worst enemy when that enemy is you.

Sometimes we hold onto things, things we can't imagine life without... things that are, nevertheless, killing us, stealing the life God wants us to have.  Letting go involves a dying process.  But the dying processes God uses are not those that leave us without life; instead, they lead us into a life we could never have imagined.  Today Cinthia not only discusses her 2011 book but tells the story of how it was written.  Writing on one continent as she prepared to speak on another, Cinthia started with the story of Lazarus and the verse, “Jesus wept,” and soon found herself writing and speaking about a struggle that stretches across culture, nationality, race and ethnicity, socioeconomic status, and so many other differences and barriers: human beings cling to what we think will give us life, while God knows those very things are killing us.  He invites us to go through His dying processes instead of trying to perfect ourselves, and in these processes He offers us life we could never have imagined while we wer

We all face those times when life becomes painful, scary, even terrifying.  Do you ever wish your education had included some kind of instructions for how to deal with these times?  How to survive?  How to thrive?  Today's discussion is about Robert J. Morgan's book The Red Sea Rules.  Only God can part the waters.  Let's talk about what to do in those moments when we are waiting, hoping, not seeing a way out...  We are not the first people to stand aghast at the edge of the Red Sea.

Does self-care sound selfish to you?  Or do you know it's important but tend to let it slide as you focus on other things?  We know we shouldn't focus only on ourselves, but what is the difference between true humility and self-neglect?  And how does neglecting self-care really impact those around us?  Today Cinthia explores a topic that is sometimes misrepresented and misused.  Join her to consider how appropriate self-care can honor the sacrifice Jesus made for us and enable us to serve others more fully.  

Do you ever find trust difficult?  As humans we often struggle to trust ourselves, others, and God.  But aren't there good reasons why we might not want to trust someone?  How do we know when it is safe to trust?  Why do some people find it so difficult?  Can we develop trust if we have issues in this department?  If we have faith in God, is that the same as trusting Him?  Today Cinthia explores trust, including when trust is or is not an appropriate risk, how we learn to trust, the difference between trust and faith, and so much more.  

There are lots of magazines, talk shows, podcasts, books, friends, and family members eager to talk about what goes wrong in a relationship.  But one of the most important things we can learn to recognize is what a relationship looks like when it's actually HEALTHY.  We need to do more than just avoid the bad; we need to recognize the good and to become healthier relationship partners ourselves.  Plus, the best way to spot relationship red flags is to know what the green ones look like so we can tell the difference.  Join Cinthia to look at the signs of spiritual and emotional health that tell us when positive relationship is possible or likely.

Do you know love when you see it?  Do you know how to love well, and do you practice it?  Love may seem basic and uncomplicated since we give it in one form as children.  But loving well as an adult takes more maturity than we realize.   John 3:16 connects God’s love with the gift of His Son to die for us, which tells us that His love for the world involves tremendous sacrifice; our love is a response to His and a reflection of His.  Join Cinthia to explore what it means to love and why it matters.

If peace is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, why do so many of us struggle with it?  Even as followers of Jesus, many of us continue to feel, think, and live as though we are at war with ourselves and/or the people around us.  We assess situations and obsess over what could happen.  We hold onto grudges toward ourselves and others.  We view life and the world as things we have to manage constantly as though we have enough control over the world that our worry keeps disaster at bay.  We trust God with our salvation, but we act as though everything before Heaven is still ours to solve.  Yet throughout the Bible, God tells us, "Do not be afraid."  What is stealing your peace?  What are you carrying, and how long have you carried it?  Join Cinthia to take an honest look at the things blocking you from enjoying the peace that Jesus left with us.

Have you ever struggled to figure out why something was happening to you -- whether you or God or someone else was to blame?  Suffering tends to get us looking for causes and making giant leaps to explain the mysteries of the universe, sometimes rushing in where angels, as the saying goes, fear to tread.  Furthermore, we know that God refines us in our suffering, a fact that often causes us to see Him as the cause of our pain rather than the One Who brings good through it.  When Job suffered deeply, he begged for a mediator, someone to help him engage God and enable him to plead his own case and understand his own suffering.  Cinthia tackles this topic today, encouraging us to look at what we do know and see God for Who we know Him to be -- the One Who suffered for us -- rather than the cause of all our suffering.

"You follow me," Jesus told the other disciples when they wondered what Jesus had planned for John.  Such simple instructions, but following Jesus as ourselves rather than looking around at everyone else can be more difficult than we imagined.  Do you ever wish you could follow Him as someone else?  Do you wonder if He has a path for you, if He even likes you?  Cinthia asserts that it takes courage to be the person God created you to be but that He made you the only one who can do it.  You need His forgiveness, His strength,  His guidance, and the assurance that He made you on purpose and has not lost the vision He had for you, no matter what's happened or what you've done.  Join Cinthia for a look at what it means to be brave enough to accept the assignment of being yourself.

The lizard lets go of his tail, releasing a part of himself to which he was firmly attached.  In doing so, he gains his own life and lives to grow a new tail in freedom.  What is it that you find impossible to let go?  What will it cost you?  What must you lose in order to win?

                The United States is in a time of great political change and upheaval; people on all sides are angry and afraid.  (For those in other countries, this may or may not be a time of similar political transition, but struggle and conflict are ongoing realities, sometimes much more so than in the US, and are exacerbated in places by the pandemic and the attempts of various leaders to deal with it.)  If our hope is in anything but Jesus, we are going to lose our footing.  Any vision that requires society to be the way we think it should be will ultimately fail us.  Today, Cinthia acknowledges the reality of pain and loss as we struggle with the realities of our time but encourages us to look beyond the assumptions and systems on which we depend.  God cares about what happens in our governments and communities, but He is never worried or surprised.  Are we going to ask Him for His vision and place ourselves humbly in a position to let Him birth that vision within us, or are we going to hang onto our o

The tradition continues, this time with the added excitement of leaving behind 2020!  Every year, we look at what it means to find closure with the past year and embrace the new one.  Since so many people have struggled in 2020 and are hoping 2021 will be better, this year's discussion is  especially timely.  Join Cinthia to explore fresh application of time-tested principles at a time when we most need them!

Have you ever struggled to trust God as you watched your life unfold differently than you thought it would?  For some, 2020 has been an exercise in loss and disappointment, and some have seen gifts come quietly with the change.  How do trust and acceptance apply when we struggle to deal with the reality of life as it is?  Mary was a young girl, probably about thirteen years old, probably still living with her parents when an angel appeared and told her she was going to give birth as a virgin to the Son of God.  This was an incredible blessing, and Mary seems to have been able to see this.  However, it also meant that her life was at risk since she could now be charged with adultery, and it carried tremendous losses, such as those to her reputation and her dreams of a wedding, marriage, and family life.  Mary responded by stating that she was the Lord’s handmaiden and stating, “Let it be to me just as He said.”  In the middle of our joys and pains, gifts and losses, wonderful surprises and crushing disappointm

Have you ever been at the point of saying, "I got nothing!" -- nothing to give, nothing to offer, nothing to draw on, nothing?  We all face times of discouragement, disappointment, exhaustion, and even the temptation to despair.  Today Cinthia addresses those who are (or have been or will be) in that place.  When you've got nothing, it's not the time to give up.  It's the time to find out what is being offered to you by the One Who has it all, gave it up for us, and will one day be acknowledged as Lord of everything.  Join Cinthia to consider whether "nothing" may be all you need to take the next step.

Feelings... Some think of them as touchy-feely nonsense, the kind of thing only the weak really notice.  Others feel dominated by them, tossed about by a swirling ocean of emotions that ebbs and flows but never seems to stop.  Lots of people pay attention to some feelings but don't even notice others.  So what are these things called feelings?  Why do we have them, and what are we supposed to do with them?  Today Cinthia explores what it means to be created with feelings by a God who also has feelings, as well as what we are supposed to do with these feelings and what role they may or may not play in our faith.  Whether you love them or hate them, embrace them or ignore them, feelings are part of our lives as human beings, so join Cinthia today to gain some perspective on how to use them the way they were meant to be used.

Our culture tells us we should be so many things we are not, then tells us (without knowing us) that we should accept ourselves and embrace high self-esteem.  God, on the other hand, is completely aware of who we are and how He made us.  The things He has to say about us are not uninformed or generic.  He knows what He made each of us to be, and He knows what we've each done with it so far.  Today Cinthia looks at Psalm 139 where the Psalmist expresses awe at how well God knows him and at the amazingly creative work God did in making him.  So what does this mean for how we handle our lives?  Join Cinthia to look at God's incredibly intimate care for us and what it means to respond to the One Who made our fingerprints.