Dr. Ross Greene

You can't solve everything at once, so you'll have to be selective in choosing problems to start solving first. The algorithm: safety, frequency, and gravity. Thanks to a mom who called in, you'll get a real-life example on this program.  

The standard advice is defuse, de-escalate, and keep everyone safe. But Collaborative & Proactive Solutions goes further than that. It's crucial to identify and solve the problem that caused the child to become physically aggressive in the first place. Once the problem is solved, the child won't become physically aggressive in response to it anymore. And if you're only defusing, de-escalating, and keeping everyone safe, the problem won't get solved.

Lots of helpful topics covered today including adjusting the model for kids with language difficulties, drilling for information, wording unsolved problems, and more!

If only solving problems collaboratively was really easy! Well, sometimes it is, but sometimes some fairly common roadblocks can get in the way, and on today's program we talked about a bunch of 'em, thanks to our callers and emailers.

Well, aside from providing guidance to a few parents on diffiuclties they're experiencing with their children, we also heard from a parent who feels strongly that government shouldn't tell parents how to parent. While we didn't agree completely, it gave us a good opportunity to listen, something that seems in short supply these days...

On our first program of the fall, we heard from a mom who's having trouble engaging her son in Plan B...and having trouble keeping her energy up to stick with the process. Hopefully the guidance of our panel was helpful.

Does behavior belong in step 2?  How do you find your "window in" with a reluctant older teen?  Dealing with guilt over giving in...all these topics and more were covered on today's episode.

But probably not the "f" word you're thinking of. And, when it comes to wording unsolved problems well, even "f" words are relevant.

Two callers provided lots of great conversation today - everything from sibling strife, can an adult's concern be "I feel disrespected," and how to revisit a solution that isn't working.

Findings from the Lives in the Balance survey on Parenting During the Pandemic are now available on the Lives in the Balance website, and were discussed at the beginning of the program. Then we heard from a mom whose first attempt at Plan B went a lot better than she realized.

Thanks to four parents who emailed us with questions, this podcast provides a great overview of the basic components of identifying and solving problems collaboratively and proactively. Nothing beats real life...

After helping a mom sort through the ins and outs of doing Plan B with her son, we turned our attention to email, including one from a mom who was concerned that doing Plan B meant she was always going to be accomodating her son's problems. Good to get that cleared up.

On today's program, we responded to a mom whose son was having difficulty participating in the Define Adult Concerns step and Invitation step of Plan B, prompting some hopefully helpful words of wisdom from our panel. Also covered: should consuquences be used in tandem with Plan B...and should parents explain Plan B to kids before doing it?

And we're back...with the first segment of Parenting Your Challenging Child of the fall, after a very tumultuous summer. We responded to two moms with specific concerns about how to approach unsolved problems using Plans B and C, but a lot of the themes were the same as usual, whether related to parenting or society: the importance of listening to each other, empathizing with one another's concerns, and solving problems collaboratively.

Whether the schools in your neck of the woods are opening or not, the pandemic continues to present parents with major challenges. Here's your opportunity to vent, ask questions, and share ideas, and get some guidance from Dr. Greene, Kim Hopkins-Betts, and Deb Hagler, M.D.

We had quite the response to the free screening of The Kids We Lose, and our first followup discussion of the film just wasn't enough. So we're doing it again. And we'd especially like to hear from those of you who have reduced or eliminated restraints and seclusions in your schools.

COVID-19 is clearly a formidable disease, and many have suffered because of it. And the pandemic has definitely added some new expectations to the mix for kids, parents, and educators: too much togetherness, distance learning, and social distancing among them. Yet the way to approach these expectations -- especially if kids are having diffiuclty meeting them -- has been there all along. So, with apologies for the silver lining, these trying times do present us with an opportunity to model and practice some pretty importand things...

Thanks for participating in the free screening of The Kids We Lose. This one-hour, online discussion with Dr. Ross Greene is your chance to ask questions about or comment on the film. To participate in the discussion directly, call (347) 994-2981.

On this program, a very endearing grandma called in to get some guidance before trying her first Plan B with her grandson. Yes, Plan B is a different animal, but perfection is not the goal. She sounds like she's ready...now it's time to take the leap.

After checking in regarding how everyone is fairing with the COVID-19 restrictions, we talked in detail about the emergency application of Plans A, B, and C thanks to an emailer's question.  We also addressed whether the lagging skill of chronic irritability and/or anxiety can be addressed through proactive Plan B.