Recovery Elevator | Stop Drinking, Start Recovering. | Alcohol, Addiction & Life In Sobriety

Arlina took her last drink on April 22, 1994 and has been alcohol free for 25 years.  This is her story. On today’s episode Paul discuses an article that a listener sent him regarding the term, ‘sober curious’.  This article was published in the New York Times and can be found here.  What is sober curious?  The term is pretty straight forward, it refers to those that are curious about exploring a life without alcohol.  But it can be unpacked even more.  To some, sober curious may mean that they never had a drinking problem, but they had a problem drinking.  In the article the author describes the sober curious as young professionals that are kind of, just a little bit, addicted to booze.   Paul feels that that bulk of this demographic of sober curious people are what would be referred to as high bottom drunks.  They are beginning to experience consequences from their drinking and they are becoming curious to what a life without alcohol would look like.    SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul introduces Arlina. Arlina is 50

Odette, took her last drink on December 17, 2018.  This is her story. On today’s episode Paul talks about control and how it relates to the level of an addiction.  The more our drinking gets out of control the more we try and control our external environments.  This is the main driver why control is such an important concept to deepen with so we can become aware of the level of control we placing on the external environment.  We are left with 2 choices.  Option 1 is to do nothing, and that is not what this podcast is about.  That leaves us with option 2.  Get ready to saddle up.  Once an addiction is been acknowledged it can no longer be ignored, and it cannot be addressed without making major life changes.  Changes like a new self-image, your perception, a new consciousness, your ideas and beliefs, your entire life’s foundations.  That’s a lot of change, and as humans we resist change.  SHOW NOTES [8:10] Paul introduces Odette.  Paul first chatted with Odette on episode 128, which came out on July 31st 2017,

Mark, took his last drink on April 19th, 2019 - This is his story. On today’s episode Paul shares the status on his upcoming book release!  Alcohol is Sh!t should be launched the end of July – to mid-August.  Graphics for the front cover, the back, and the eBook are done.  Thanks to everyone that voted on the tagline and subtitles…this is what we came up with; How to ditch the booze.  Reignite your life.  Recover the person you were always meant to be.  Paul also talks about calming the mind through meditation.  The word meditation comes from the word meditacioun, which means to ponder, and it has been around for a very long time.  What is meditation?  Meditation is about letting thoughts go.  It is about loosening the energetic ties to the past and the future.  It is about being present and focusing on what is, the reality you are currently witnessing.  Meditation is about lowering brain waves to a more relaxed state.  Meditation is a skill and it takes practice.  What meditation is not.  Meditation isn’t no

Melissa, with a sobriety date of October 29, 2018, shares her story. Paul shares one of his favorite emails.  Dale from Pittsburgh says…Paul, you son of a bitch.  You have completely ruined alcohol for me. Your experience with alcohol may no longer be the same after listening to the podcast!  Don’t worry about the how…that always solves itself.  SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul introduces Melissa.  Melissa says that sobriety is the most badass gift she has given herself.  The biggest milestone.  She is from Vancouver Canada.  She is 44 years old and has a 12-year-old son and a 1-year old rescue dog.  Melissa has been a business owner for the last 5 years.  For fun she likes to walk in the forest.  [16:20] What is something you want to try out in sobriety?  Scuba diving!       [17:30] Give us a background on your drinking. Melissa had her first drink when she was 15.  She got drunk the first time she drank and the kids at school thought she was cool.  Her parents got divorced when she was 16 and she took the roll of mo

Sara, with a sobriety date of January 16, 2019, shares her story. On today’s episode Paul shares an internet meme that he saw and loved… “Only in my pain, did I find my will.          Only in my chaos, did I learn to be still.          Only in my fear, did I find my might.          Only in my darkness, did I see my light.” Starting to see a theme, Paul added a few lines…          Only through my self-loathing was I able to love myself. Only through my fears was I able to see how little it has ever served                   me.  Only through guilt was I able to see that all humans make mistakes, and I’m human. Only through shame did I realize I don’t owe anyone in life an explanation, ever again. Only through my failures was I able to see what I was doing wrong and then make the necessary corrections.  Only through blacking out was I able to recognize the misery with living without light.  Only with a crushing headache after a heavy night of drinking was I able to appreciate a clear mind. Only through my addict

Chris, with a sobriety date of February 12, 2019, shares his story. On today’s episode Paul shares 8 strategies that you can implement when you are going through hard times.  Everything can, and will, change.  You’ve overcome challenges before. Recognize this life situation as a learning experience, AKA an opportunity. You may not be getting what you want, but you are getting what you need. Lighten up, do not take yourself to seriously. You can self-medicate with kindness to yourself. Don’t make it worse by taking on other people’s tough times. There is always something to be happy for.   SHOW NOTES: [13:40] Paul introduces Chris.  Chris has been sober since February 12, 2019 and is 35 years old.  He is a technology trainer for a finance company.  He is divorced and has three boys, ages 15, 10 and 7.  For fun Chris likes to sing and play guitar in a band, he also does improv and stand up comedy.  Since getting sober he is exercising a lot.  [14:20] When did you start drinking? He had his first drink, tequil

Tim, with 2 days of sobriety, shares his story. On today’s episode Paul talks about 2 articles that discuss alcohol use.  Links for these articles can be found following the show notes.  The first article, published on May 7, 2019 in USA Today, says that alcohol use is soaring worldwide, with the average adult now consuming about 1.7 gallons of pure alcohol per year.  Just in the past 27 years the total volume of alcohol that people consumed globally increased by 70%.  Even though on a global level alcohol consumption is increasing, if you are listening to this podcast you have made it further than 95% of people out there.  You are starting to make changes.  On the brighter side, an article published on January 17, 2018 in Bloomberg, reported that Americans drank less alcohol in 2018, for the third straight year.  Total cases of beer, wine and spirits consumed in the US dropped by .8% in 2018.  This was the third straight year that there had been a decline in consumption.  So globally people are consuming mor

Nick, with 101 days of sobriety, shares his story. Paul is asking the listeners what they want to hear on the podcast.  Do you want more interviews with industry professionals, such as recovery coaches, authors, and wellness leaders?  Or do you like the podcast just the way it is with Paul interviewing sobriety badasses?  Leave a review on iTunes and let Paul know!  On today’s podcast Paul shares that he was recently interviewed on a podcast called, Self Made and Sober by the host Andrew Lassise.  Andrew asked Paul what was the difference between his first 2 ½ years of sobriety and from September 7, 2014 on.  According to Paul, that was a fantastic question with an easy answer.  The first 2 ½ years of sobriety was from January 1, 2010 through August 2012.  On 1/1/10 Paul made a declaration to go 30 days without alcohol.  When day 30 hit Paul was at a crossroads.  He had started to lose weight, feel good, his face was less puffy, life just got better.  So, he decided to go another month.  Going into month 3 th

Gerald, with a sobriety date of November 16, 2015, shares his story. Registration for the RE Asia Adventure is now open!  You can register and get more information about this event here On a recent Café’ RE webinar, our host Odette, who is a sobriety warrior, brought a fantastic topic to the webinar.  The Cherokee parable titled Two Wolves.  It is about an old Cherokee teaching his grandson about life.  He tells the grandson that he has a fight going on inside him between two wolves.  One is evil, the other is good.  The grandson thought for a moment and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”  The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”  This same fight is going on inside all of us.  But we should refrain from labeling our wolves ‘evil’ and ‘good’, because they are both equally important.  We tend to feed our ‘evil’ wolf more, because it’s source of energy doesn’t require much action.  When this wolf gets thirsty, we feed it alcohol.  The ‘good’ wolf takes more effort and energy to feed, it crav

Alex, with 63 days of sobriety, shares his story.   On today’s podcast Paul talks about what researchers, that studied the drinking habits of people that work with the public, discovered.  They found that employees that forced themselves to smile and be happy around customers were more at risk to heavier drinking after work.  Because of this, employers may want to rethink their ‘service with a smile’ policies.    Employees that work with the public may be using a lot of self-control, so later these employees may not have enough self-control to regulate how much they drink.  Faking, or suppressing emotions, is called surface acting, which is also linked with drinking after work.  Overall it was found that employees that interacted with the public drank more after work than those who did not.   Try not to suppress your emotions.  Emotions are just that, emotions.  They are not good or bad.  It’s okay to be authentic in the work place.  The best way to be authentic is with eye contact.  Authenticity replaces pos

Ryan, with 90 days of sobriety, shares his story.   On today’s podcast Paul talks about the 3 major players when it comes to sobriety.  The players are; the mind, the body, and the breath.  Paul likes to call this the 20/40/40 rule, because that is how we should allocate the importance to these 3 major players.     The mind (20%) should be used as a radar to scan the body, do not try and use the mind to solve addiction.  The body (40%) never lies, it is your unconscious mind.  The breath (40%) is like your fighter jet.  Once your mind has located where on your body your energetic mass has accumulated get in your fighter jet (the breath) and start building circuits in this area.      SHOW NOTES   [12:15] Paul introduces Ryan.    Ryan lives in Sacramento, Ca.  He works in sales for a large software company.  He is 35 years old and got married last year.  For fun Ryan likes anything outdoors.  He enjoys snowboarding, hiking, running, and he is currently training for a half marathon.  Ryan says he is an extrovert

Liz, with a sobriety date of July 8, 2017, shares her story.   Workshops for the Bozeman, MT, retreat in August are lined up!  There are still a few spots left!  You can find more information about this event here   On today’s podcast Paul talks about a common misconception people have as they move forward in a life without alcohol.  That misconception is that when we get sober, we will finally find out who we really are.  But that isn’t how it works.  We do get to that point, but first we must find out who we aren’t.     During this phase; people, places, things, ideas, thought patterns, identities, that are no longer in line with your new direction in life will start to fade away.  Just allow this process to happen.   Recovery is all about action, but this is a process of inaction.  This is a recurring process.      SHOW NOTES   [10:05] Paul introduces Liz.    Liz is 29 years old and is originally from Indiana but is now living in Frankfurt, Illinois.  She is a licensed, board certified, acupuncturist and C

Nick, with 111 days sober, shares his story.   On today’s episode Paul discusses anxiety, depression and stress.   “These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.” ~ Rumi.       Depression is when mental energies are stuck in the past, anxiety is when we are living in the future, and stress accumulates when the end goal is more important than the task at hand.   Liberation from all three of these dysfunctions resides in the present moment.    There is an undeniable connection between alcohol and depression.  Remove alcohol and the bulk of melancholy should be lifted within a matter of months.  Anxiety levels should also return to baseline after removing alcohol from your life.  When we are primarily focused on the end outcome, and not the task at hand, we experience stress.  Stress can be devastating to the equanimity in the body.  The most powerful remedy to depression, anxiety, and stress is to ground yourself in the moment.    SHOW NOTES   [10:40] Paul introduces Nick   Nick is 32 years old and lives

Sami, with a sobriety date of July 21, 2018, shares her story.   On today’s podcast Paul discuses surrender.  What does is really mean to reach a point of surrendering?  It doesn’t have to be complicated.  Surrendering simply means yielding to your next stage in life.  As Paul mentioned on a previous podcast, addictions are no more than sign posts in life, and surrender is when we fully accept them and make, what is most likely to be the most important change in our life, quitting alcohol.    Once we reach that moment when we realize that there are no more ways to moderate, when we clearly see that any attempt at moderation results in a dumpster fire, we usually find ourselves saying things like; f*ck it, I quit, I’m done, or I can’t do this anymore.  If you’ve ever muttered those words then congratulations!  You’ve hit what Paul calls the ‘now what’ milestone, which is huge.  This is when we enter into a moment of clarity and surrender.    Surrendering is not a one and done thing.  Surrendering is something

James, with a sobriety date of November 12, 2016, shares his story.   Recovery Elevator is on Instagram!  Please follow Paul and Ben here .   On today’s podcast Paul discuses relapse.  For some, and Paul has only met a few, relapse isn’t part of their story.  But for the vast majority it is, and it isn’t something to be ashamed of.  Spontaneous sobriety is rare.  Paul feels that the word ‘relapse’ is another word in recovery, similar to the word ‘alcoholic’, that needs to be thrown out.  The word ‘relapse’ has implications of failure.    When we drink again, after having made the internal declaration not to, we are simply doing more field research, learning lessons along the way.  If you find yourself in a continuous cycle of field research, self-compassion is key.   Stop placing success and failure parameters on whether you drank last night or not.  When we start addressing what we are using alcohol to cover up than relapse will become less frequent and even a thing of the past.    When you do find yourself

Brad, with a sobriety date of August 31, 2018, shares his story. Paul talks about the ‘now’ and ways we can ground ourselves while we find ourselves taking this thing one day at a time.  At some period in our journey we will find ourselves logging our days in our tracker like it ‘ain’t no thing’.  Then there are other days when we wake up and keeping the mind in check can be a constant struggle.   Paul shares some of his own favorite personal techniques that he uses to ground himself.  Acknowledge what is really happening. Think in terms of “we” rather than “I” Take your shoes off and walk barefooted outside. You are nature…take time to go out in your natural setting, nature. Slow down. Do not multitask Pay close attention to the body Go from saying, “I can get through this’, to saying, “I AM getting through this”. Go with the gut. Last one is I tell myself “Dude, Paul…this isn’t you!” If you have a grounding technique that you use, that isn’t listed here, email it to Paul and put “Grounding Techniques” in

Libby, with 112 days of sobriety, shares her story. Paul talks about a trend he noticed in the airport bookstore.  Amongst the ’20 best sellers’ there were several books with clear, unambiguous titles.  Our society is collectively starting to wake up and are looking for ways to unf*ck ourselves.  He says that all of these books, including the one he is currently writing, are not fulfilling a trend or a niche, but that it’s a movement.  https://newrepublic.com/article/153153/age-anxiety Paul recently read an article titled the Age of Anxiety in the New Republic, According to studies by the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly 20 percent of Americans experience an anxiety disorder in a given year; over 30 percent experience an anxiety disorder over the course of their lifetimes. And the rate is rising: The American Psychiatric Association, in a May study drawing from a survey of 1,000 American adults, diagnosed a statistically significant increase in national anxiety since 2017. But listeners listen clos

Ashley, with 192 days of sobriety, shares her story. Paul talks about how alcohol is the invitation.  What is this invitation?  It’s called addiction.  Depending on how you RSVP you could have a life filled with infinite joy.  The fact that you are listening to this podcast right now is a good clue as to how you’re going to RSVP.  At first the invitations may not show up with enough frequency to connect the dots.  But, sooner or later, these invitations will start to show up more frequently, once a year, once every 6 months, once a week, once a day in every aspect of our lives.  For many that struggle with addiction they ignore this invitation their entire lives and it is not pretty.  If we stick to this long enough it will become clear that our addiction is the best thing that has happened for us.  For those of you listening, you have earned your invitation.  Keep in mind the pain and suffering required to initiate this positive change in behind you.  This thing called life, if it hasn’t already, is about to

Dr. Sue Morter, talks to us about how our bodies and minds have the capacity to heal themselves if we allow it. Registration is now live for the Recovery Elevator retreat in Bozeman, Montana this upcoming August.  You can find more information about this event here Paul discusses addiction and how there are hundreds of definitions for what addiction is.   He has covered several of them on this podcast already, and covers many more in the book that he is currently writing. Some definitions are scientific. Some are psychological. Some explain the disease theory. He brings up another definition that, in his opinion, may be the simplest and most accurate. Paul suggests that addiction(s) are nothing more than signposts in life. Addictions are nudges from the body, your internal and external environments, that signify that a change needs to occur. Many people struggling with addiction ignore these internal and external cues their entire lives, and this gets ugly. There are signposts everywhere in life.  Paul’s advi

Mina, with a sobriety date of May 30, 2017, shares his story. You can sign up for a FREE 5-day Recovery Elevator video course here.  Paul discusses the most controversial word he has encountered in AA.  The word is recovered, as in your addiction to alcohol is behind you.  Although recovered is mentioned in the books of AA, after Paul said the word in an AA meeting, he noticed a shift in the energy in the room.  Ty (who has been editing the podcasts for over 150 episodes straight…Thank you Ty!), found the word recovered mentioned over 20 times in The Big Book and the Twelve and Twelve.  So why is the word recovered so controversial?  Is recovered even such a thing?      SHOW NOTES   [10:30] Paul Introduces Mina.   Mina with a sobriety date of May 30, 2017, is 37 years old and is from Stockholm, Sweden.  He is single and has no children.  He is a software engineer.  For fun Mina likes to read, visit museums and exhibitions, and spend time in libraries.         [12:20] Give us a little background about your dri