I Have Some Notes

Well, this is one movie we are not giggy with. Nineties movies typically have some bad taste jokes we’ve long since learned are not appropriate, but like an oddly placed giant mechanical spider, this movie is rife with them.  Liam, Gregg and Scott power through another rewrite, ditching problematic jokes and giving the singular woman in the film something to do (another common theme in our 90s rewrites). Steampunk cowboys should have been easy money, but Will Smith and Kevin Kline showed us that any winning concept can bomb if you try hard enough.

You may remember, back in March, we started a friendly wager amongst our fellow podcasters to see who could best predict the quality of 2019's summer blockbusters. "March?!" I can hear you say, "I barely remember what episode of Voyager I watched last night." Fair enough, let's remind you of the rules, the prize and who participated. Each contestant guessed the Rotten Tomatoes ratings for an agreed upon list of summer blockbuster movies. Scores were determined by the difference between the guess and the final score of each movie. For example, I guessed Avengers: Endgame would land at 84% and its actual Rotten Tomatoes rating was 94%, so my score was 10. Today we tally all the scores to find out who amongst fellow podcasters from the PS2J Show, Flicks X-rayed, Modern Manhood, Emily Missed Out and Repodcasting podcasts. The person with the lowest total win and gets to select a movie the losers must watch and either live Tweet, or record an episode on.  I'm burying the lead here, but we've two special guests

Our listeners can be forgiven for thinking at this point that we hate the giant monster genre. After all, we've already taken Pacific Rim and Godzilla to the rewriters room, and now we're doing the same for Jordan Vogt-Roberts' Kong: Skull Island. The truth is we've genuinely liked all these movies (well, maybe not Gregg, but what does he like, honestly?), but even the most beloved movies can always be reexamined, tweaked and rejigged. Liam, Gregg and Scott do just that for Kong, taking special aim at the relatively blank cast of characters, as well as tweaking some motivations and, of course, deleting the protagonist.

Liam Creswick choose easily the most colourful and frenetic movie we've attempted to rewrite yet for his first episode as host: Speed Racer.  We spend the bulk of the episode exhausting Lana and Lilly Wachowski for their ability to make interesting choices. Whether they are good choices is up for debate, but they are never boring.  But, with great respect for wild choices, Gregg modifies the mystic surrounding Racer X, Liam cuts the amount of Chim Chim to just Chim and Scott expands the concept into an 8-part mini-series, because Speed Racer is a drug he can't get enough of.

Last month Colin retired as host of I Have Some Notes, so we decided for our bonus Side Notes episode we would salute the man who's given us so many laughs over these past three years. With that, we give you the very BEST of Colin MacIntyre. Thanks for everything buddy, we love ya! Our break is nearly over and season five is just around the corner, so stay tuned to our Twitter and Facebook feeds to get your notes in for the upcoming season premiere!        

The Green Lantern has got Blake Lively in it and not much else. We're used to watching some colourless DC comic book movies around here, but Green Lantern might be the drabbest. However, the blander the script the greater the challenge, Right? And we've got Edmonton comedian Liam Creswick aboard to light the blackest screenwriting. This episode is bittersweet for us, as it is Colin's swan song as host of the show. As a founding member of I Have Some Notes, Colin helped shape our movie fixing podcast into the hilarious, insightful show it is today. I've always felt Colin's positive energy and brilliant sense of humour set the tone for the show, and probably prevented Scott and I from downing ourselves in the obsessively nerdy details.  We wish Colin and his wife Crystal all the best as their family expands by one more. The show must go on, but there is only one Colin MacIntyre. Thanks for everything buddy, we'll see you again soon, because you are now top of our guest list.

Yup, we're criticizing another DC movie in The Dark Knight Rises. If at this point you feel like we're just picking on DC film it would be hard for me to disagree, because we're even rewriting the good ones now. So…fine, we're DC haters and Marvel fanboys. You caught us. It's also somehow our second Chris Nolan film. Yikes. In our defence, The Dark Knight Rises is a film that legitimately could use some tweaks, and that is what we're here for. We rearrange the the rising and falling and rising again of Batman into a film I think we all truly wanted to see. Also, stay tuned at the end of the show for some news about coming changes to the show.

The White House is being attacked by North Korean terrorists who are setting the monument ablaze. You're probably thinking "good, let it burn", but this script is pre-2016, back when it was occupied by someone worthy of respect and you might have cheered Gerard Butler on save it. And save it he does, in the blandest, most mind-numbingly average way possible. But not to worry, Colin, Gregg and Scott hold cabinet positions in the Department of Movie Fixing. We do a White House tear Down and raise the I Have Some Notes flag over top the house we rebuilt in its place.

In 1995 the internet was a new, fledgling technology and baby boomer screenwriters were super scared of it. They imagined a world in which all your information is stored online by a giant, nefarious software company who can use your data against you. Crazy boomers, so paranoid. Of course today the internet is a totally safe place for everyone, a place where we can look back at Sandra Bullock's THE NET and laugh. HA HA…ha…ha……… Abdul Malik of the Kino Lefter podcast joins Colin, Gregg and Scott to upload a patch for this 90's "thriller". 

For the first time we set our sights on a 3D animated kids movie, proving that no film is beyond the reach of our desire to cynically rewrite Hollywood's most popular movies. Colin, Gregg and Scott peak inside the Secret Life of Pets to find weak motivations and convenient plot devices and together discover they're wasting their lives. How has it come to this, seriously discussing the merits of a Louis C.K. dog movie?

Christopher Nolan may be the most prolific and successful blockbuster filmmaker of our generation, so naturally we felt the need to pick apart one of his movies. His films are brilliant, fun and inventive, but they aren't perfect. There's always room for improvement, and who better to launch a reimagined Interstellar into the atmosphere than a rag tag crew of middle-aged, arm-chair screen writers? No one, that's who.

This episode has been a long time coming. Years back, when Colin and Gregg sat down at the Route 99 Diner to hammer out a new movie podcast, Godzilla was on the early list of film to go through the notes process. How it took us 4 years to get to it is anyone's guess. Let's say a health fear of giant, city destroying monsters. But good kaiju movies come to those who wait, and we've got some atomic fixes for this Gareth Edwards monster mash. Now smash that play button!

Once a year we look to the stars for another Star Trek movie to fix, and this year it is Star Trek: Insurrection's turn. Admiral Beever, Captain Bourgeois and Acting Ensign Colin MacIntyre lock and load for a battle with sci-fi mediocrity. We keep picking on Next Generation movies, for good reason, they aren't great. But we've only got one more to go, and then we're one to other Trek movies. I've personally go my phasers locked on those J.J. Abrams films.

You knew this was coming. At some point we were going to get around to Michael Bay's bombastic robot punch fest, Transformers. It was inevitable.  None of your hosts wanted to watch this movie. It's long, it's obnoxious, and it assaults all your senses all of the time. The things we do for our audience. Spoiler alert: the first cut we make is Michael Bay. Not particularly surprising, but you may find some of our other keeps, cuts and changes surprising.

Summer blockbuster season is upon us and we're back with another critic score prediction show, the Rotten Tomater Prognosticator. This year, not only will Colin, Gregg and Scott be competing to be crowned the Nostradamus of movie quality predicting, but they'll also be contending with fellow podcasters from the PS2J Show, Flicks X-rayed, Modern Manhood, Emily Missed Out and Repodcasting podcasts. Follow the LEADER BOARD HERE! The Rules Each contestant guesses the final Rotten Tomatoes ratings for an agreed upon list of summer blockbuster movies. Scores are determined by the difference between the guess and the final score of each movie. For example, if I guess Avengers: Endgame will land at 80% and the actual Rotten Tomatoes rating is 90%, my score is 10. At the end of the summer we tally all the scores, and whoever has the lowest total is deemed the most accurate, and the winner! The Prize In addition to all the prestige and glory, the winner will get to select a movie the losers must watch and either l

Sigh, Ghostbusters was back in the news last month and once again it was for all the wrong reasons as Jason Reitman bungled the roll out of his entry into the franchise. Luckily Danica LeBlanc and Anita Bourgeois stopped by to help us work through our exhausted frustrations. This episode also marks an I Have Some Notes first, Gregg is sitting in the host chair. Don't worry, he felt just as uncomfortable with it as you do. Colin will be back in two weeks, so you can relax.

Ah, sci-fi in the sixties, sexually liberated, costumes changes abound, and not a single plot thread connected to another. It's hard to fathom why things ever changed, today's "modern" sci-fi is so fixated on being "coherent" and "understood." Pssshah! I say. Danica LeBlanc, Anita Bourgeois and Erin Beever are back to break down the psychedelic mess that is Barbarella. Together they relish in its beautiful set design and ponder its plethora of literal boob windows. 

What is it about bad movies that are so much fun? Why do we take so much delight in someone else's failure? How is it that Tommy Wiseau is beloved for his badness? Robin Taylor from Cinematological is back with us again to explore the nuances of bad movies and what makes them tickle our happy lobes. Did that sound sexual? Too late, I'm going with it. Set your ears to "intrigued", hit play, and examine the cult of bad movies with us.

Once upon a time, movie studios saw Jean-Claude Van Damme as an action star they could build a big budget action blockbuster around. Studios would say, "Hey, let's rent out the Pittsburg Penguins' arena and drop a helicopter onto a hockey rink…and Van Damme will be there!" Now, in 1995, you might be forgiven for thinking Die Hard + Van Damme + Luc Robitaille = boxing office gold, but today they take away your producer hat and give it to someone who wants to make Batman…again. However, we at I Have Some Notes believe we've come up with some script tweaks that would get Van Damme's arena romp a green light, even today! This episode's guest is the glorious leader of the Church of Moving Picture himself, Robin Taylor. Check out his video series, Cinematological! But do that after listening to us.

Bonus content! We’re still on break, but we recorded some bonus content for your back in December in which we recommend some good viewing for you. Currently we’re eyeing an early February return to regular episodes, follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram for news on that front. Here’s what was recommended: Gregg Locke Sorry to Bother You Sunshine Scott The Nice Guys Only Lovers Left Alive Seven Samurai Colin Upgrade Batman TV Series Movie Hardcore Henry