Parent With A Pro

We all know that sassy, spirited, and strong-willed kids have some really useful personality traits. "S" kids are generally strong, not afraid to say what they think, will stand up for themselves, and so much more.  However, they also have traits that make it hard for them to function well with their peers.  I polled the parents of our private Facebook to see what characteristics their kids had that were getting in the way of their ability to make a keep friends.  The parents answers feel into one of the two following categories: Loud and bossy with their peers  Anxious or shy around their peers For the next two episodes, clinical mental health counselor, Mike Fitch teaches how to help kids in each of these categories function better in social situations. In this week's episode, we talk specifically about the Loud and Bossy kids while in next week's we discuss the Shy and Anxious kids.  Both episode's are jam packed with ways to help your children develop much-desired social skills. LISTEN ABOVE

Marriage and family therapist, Jeff Tesch says that around twenty-five percent of the counselling he does is helping parents be consistent in their approach parenting together.  He has had great success helping parents come together to find common ground in their approach.  Jeff Tesch, LMFT is graciously sharing his handout he gives parents to guide them to a place where they can see eye to eye and help eliminate disagreements over parenting.  Click here to download this resource. I know that many of you are working so hard to improve your parenting skills and are starting to see a difference in how confident you feel as parents. You are likely starting to see improvement in your child's behavior. Now that I have spent hundreds of hours working with therapists for Parent with a Pro, I have come to find that there are some things the therapists keep mentioning that we can do as parents that will undo all the hard work we are doing!  That is the last thing I want to happen to you! This podcast will help you un

It is no secret that being a parenting can put a huge strain on a marriage.  With the kids having busy schedules, demanding a lot of time and attention, and so much more, we can find that our marriages take a hit. The good news is that the experts know how to childproof a marriage. In today's episode with Alan Brooks, LMFT teaches his top tips for a successful relationship with your spouse even when you have strong-willed kids! LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

If you are getting ready to potty train or have tried and haven't had success, you'll want to listen to this episode.   Mike Fitch, CMHC has been a child therapist for a decade and in this episode he dispels some myths and teaches the do's and don'ts of potty training your tougher-to-train child. I have a toddler that I'm getting ready to potty train and this episode couldn't have come at a better time.  I feel much more equipped to tackle the dreaded task. LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Mike Fitch, CMHC Here’s Mike’s favorite “do’s” and “don’ts” of potty training DON’T be worried if your child isn’t potty-trained at age two! I love to answer this question for parents because some parents brag that their kids were all potty-trained by age 18 months.  As if they are better parents than you because your four-year old still wears diapers! It is absolutely common and normal for a child not to be potty-trained until age five.  We really don’t start to get concerned as therapists about a child still

Parents of sassy, spirited, and strong-willed children are no strangers to power struggles.  Here at Parent with a Pro, it is our goal to equip you with as many tools as possible to avoid those power struggles. So what is one simple tool you could use starting today that would help you side step many power struggles without your kids even noticing that you did it?  Routines. Having routines, set things you do at a certain time and in a certain order, has saved my bacon many times. In this episode listen as Jeff Tesch, LMFT teaches the why and the how behind routines. I hope that they become as helpful in your home as they have been in mine. LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

Using consequences effectively (learn more about that here and here) is one of the best ways to improve behavior, but it's not the only way.  Evidence has shown positive reinforcement to be an effective way to help our kids behave better and develop a deep sense of self-esteem.  As a parent, I know that I want both of those things. Listen as Jeff Tesch, LMFT teaches the most effective way to use positive reinforcement in your home.  Many of the techniques are things you can start today! LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

As a parent of a sassy, spirited, or strong-willed child, you know what it means to have your patience tried.  Your little cherubs want their way and they'll do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to get it.  Yet, we've been taught over and over again through the podcast, that parents need to be calm, cool, and collected. So how are you supposed to be cool as a cucumber even though your buttons are getting pushed from sun up to sun down? Jeff Tesch, LMFT has some excellent guidance in this fabulous episode! LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

I'll be honest.  Parenting a strong-willed child has brought out the best in me and the worst in me.  I never knew I could be so forgiving, so resilient, and so loving.  I also never knew I could be so irritable, short-tempered, and angry. As I have accepted that I am an imperfect parent and that I might not always do what I'm supposed to do, I have wanted to learn if there were some things I should never do.  What things I should vow to not do no matter how mad, exhausted, or fed up I am.  Which things could do more harm than good. That's what today's episode is all about.  This is all evidence-based advice that I feel completely confident in sharing with you today.  I hope that you'll give it a listen as it may make a world of difference for you and your child. LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

The big part of being successful in changing behavior is finding out what consequences work with each of our kids and using consequences effectively. Time out often works when other things don't. I often hear parents say, “It doesn't matter if we take screens away. It doesn't matter if they don't have friend time.” Those kinds of consequences for some kids don't matter, yet time outs generally do. Learn how to use time out effectively from therapists and dad of six, Jeff Tesch, LMFT LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW There seems to be a lot of debate about Time-out vs. Time-in.  If you would like to read more about that, here is a GREAT article! Here at Parent with a Pro, we are supporters of time-out when done appropriately.  We also use time-ins for certain situations.  We love having both tools at our disposal. Personally, using appropriate time outs has drastically changed our strong-willed child’s behavior.  We watched carefully to see if time-outs would have any negative affects on her self

Strong-willed kids want their way.  Heck, I want my way!  However, kids throwing a tantrum when they don't get their way is frustrating behavior!  I learned from today's episode, that tantrums are a behavior we should NEVER give into. Listen to learn what else you need to know about tantrums. LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

Here's the deal.  We all need some help calming down from time to time (or often).  We learned in last week's episode on anxiety that some basic breathing techniques can calm the body and communicate to the brain that you are OK. I asked Mike Fitch, CMHC to do a special BONUS episode designed to teach simple breathing techniques to help us calm down.  My favorite part?  They only take five minutes a day! These techniques are for everyone. Happy Listening!

Could my child have anxiety?  This is a question many parents of sassy, spirited, and strong-willed children may have. In today's episode we learn what anxiety is, how it effects your child's behavior, and some exercises for calming the anxious child (or anxious adult). I was surprised to learn that much of my child's behavior stems from his anxieties and I am excited to start using the new tools Mike Fitch, CMHC teaches. LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Mike Fitch, CMHC Is it common for a strong-willed child to have anxiety? Yes! It is not uncommon for a strong-willed child to have anxiety.  In fact, for some strong-willed children anxiety is the ROOT of their behavior.  This is not the case for all kids. But many parents don’t know that anxiety (and depression) can manifest in a child as anger or defiance. What is anxiety? True anxiety is when a person’s brain “misfires”.  You have different portions of your brain. You are have one portion of your brain that is responsible for thinking and bei

Do any of you have kids that are starting to lie?  I do and I have googled what to do about it.  The different articles that I have read have conflicted with each other.  I finally decided that it was time to talk to the expert to learn what he had to say. In this episode, Jeff Tesch teaches about two different kinds of dishonesty, which one you need to address and how to address in the best way. Best of luck to all of us with this behavior! LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

Being a parent of a sassy, spirited, or strong-willed child is a ton of work!  If only that were our only responsibility.  Unfortunately, we also have the enormous responsibility of running a household as well.  Wouldn't it be such a relief if we could get our kids to help out more around the house so we didn't have to do it alone?  Have you ever wondered how to do that? In this episode you are going to learn how to share the responsibility of caring for the home with your children.  We have specific tips for those extra stubborn kids who are very reluctant to help. LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Mike Fitch, CMHC For more ideas on getting your kids to help around the house, click here. How doing chores helps your kids Children need to feel like they belong to a group, that they can identify with a family.  This is why kids look to friends and gangs for community. You want your kids to feel like they belong to YOUR family.  One of the best ways to do that is by having them contribute to your fam

For those of you who aren't super familiar with Parent with a Pro, we have a private Facebook group for parents like us (come join us).  In this private Facebook group, therapist Jeff Tesch does a weekly "Ask the Expert" where we get to ask him any parenting questions we have.  During one of these Q and A sessions, the topic of consequences came up.  It turns out that many of us had a lot of questions about consequences.  Jeff and I covered several of them in Episode 012 but decided that we needed an additional episode. That's how this episode came to be.  I asked Jeff all the consequence questions from the parents in the group, thinking that I would be able to stump him, but Jeff knew the answers to each question!  We are so lucky to have him. This episode is a must listen if you have any issues with consequences at your house. LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

As parents we all know that we need to use consequences.  But has anyone sat down to teach you the ins and outs of consequences?  The do's the don'ts? The common mistakes to avoid? That's what today's episode is all about.  Therapist and parenting expert, Jeff Tesch talks about the most common consequence mistakes that he sees parents making and how to avoid them. I loved learning from him and doing a self-evaluation to see if I am committing any of the common consequence mistakes.  I was surprised to find out that I was making ALL of them. LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

Once, when I was 16 or 17 years old, I got up the guts to tell my mom "No" right to her face...once. Holy moly, if only that were the case for us as parents of sassy, spirited, and strong-willed kids!  My kids were born with the word "No" on the tip of their tongues, just waiting to be used daily.  Many times daily.  Defiance is honestly one of the things that wears me out the most.  When I hear my kids get up in the morning, one of my first thoughts is "I can't do another day of defiance." I don't want to feel that way any more and I don't want any of you to feel that way either.  Because of that, I am over the moon about today's episode! Alan Brooks, LMFT gives us not only one way to respond to defiance, or two ways, he gives us SEVEN different ways for you to choose from! After you listen to this episode, you won't wonder what to do in a defiant situation, you'll wonder what you did before this podcast. LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Alan Brooks, LMFT What you need to know about defiance Kid

Ooooh, few things irritate me more than back talk!  Can I get an, Amen?!  Backtalk just feels so disrespectful! I have to say that my visceral response to backtalk is to ground my child until they can apply for social security. Since that's not an option, I'm grateful that Jeff Tesch, LMFT has a healthy, effective way to respond to back talk. Next time your little whipper-snapper says something rude to you, you are going to respond like the in-charge adult that you are. Won't that feel great? LISTEN ABOVE.  A BLOG POST VERSION OF THIS PODCAST WILL BE COMING SOON!

On my side of the family, we only have kids that are sassy, spirited and strong-willed (it may have something to do with the fact that 5 out of the 6 grand kids are adopted).  One of the things that has been most surprising for me is how much emotion these kids have!  When they are happy, they are intensely happy.  When they are upset, they are intensely upset! Watching these kids get so upset has been hard for me. I keep drawing a blank on how to help them and just find myself repeating "calm down" over and over again. That's why I am so jazzed about today's episode!  Mike Fitch, CMHC gives calming techniques that are specific to your child.  By the end of the episode, you will know how to create an "emotional emergency kit" for your kids. (Bonus: these techniques are great for parents, too.  Kids aren't the only ones with big emotions.) LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Mike Fitch, CMHC Note: If you need help being calmer, use the techniques in this post for yourself, too! How do we help our st

Does this scenario sound familiar? You're somewhere public: the grocery store, the park, or a restaurant.  Your child starts to misbehave in one way or another. Time freezes. It feels like everyone's eyes are on you, watching to see how you are going to handle your little sidekick.  You ask your child to behave, they get worse.  You threaten, bribe, beg and they still continue to misbehave.  What do you do? If you have found yourself in this situation, you're going to want to listen to this episode. Mike Fitch, CMHC provides clear, actionable steps to follow when your child misbehaves. I have to say that I was surprised by some of the steps. By the end of the episode, when everyone looks at you wondering what you're going to do, you'll be able to wink at them and say "I've got this". LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Mike Fitch, CMHC Tip #1 Prepare before you go Kids like to know what the rules, boundaries, and expectations are.  They also like to see what they can get away with. They will test