Orthodixie

With the recent falling asleep of Archbishop DMITRI of the Orthodox Church in America, Fr Joseph was reminded of the many occasions in his presence—especially the one concerning his feet and His Eminence, which is included in this repeat episode. (Fr Joseph writes: "Forgive me; it’s silly really—obviously an attempt at humor by a fool. But even a fool can recognize the truth of . . . clay feet.")

From Bert and Ernie to parents, kids, and a pope—Fr Joseph talks about the struggles and the goal of sexuality in part two of this two-part series.

What do you say when a ten-year-old says, "My best friend is gay"? How 'bout cartoon friends, can they be gay? Fr. Joseph wades in where even Elmer Fudd dares tread in this first episode of a two part series on . . . well, you know what the topic is.

Fr. Danislav Gregorio visits the Orthodixie studio to plug his latest publishing efforts, a series of Great Books that cover bachelor fasting, Orthodox evangelism, patience, and mindless middle-aged mishaps (among other things—perhaps even the most important thing).

Fr Joseph offers an "audio snapshot" of life at Camp St Raphael - 2011, Session One. (Oh, and for him to hear it, that fat lady will need to sing a little louder.)

Kiss the bride ... check! Walk the aisle ... check! Enjoy the honeymoon ... check! (Then what?) Pulling an episode from the "Best Of" files, Fr. Joseph discusses the ch-ch-changes that come with love and marriage. (Just for fun, see if you can identify all of the songs used in this oldie but goodie.)

Fr Joseph is lost. Perhaps you are, too? Great. Salvation loves company! A 2008 rerun about recalculating. Keep coming back!

Studies show that no matter how many people get on an elevator, riders move around to allow the same amount of space between themselves and each of the others. Some elevator riders stare at the numbers, some continue conversations, and others start superficial ones. Uh oh, someone just asked about Orthodoxy! You've got about 30 seconds (and a $100 prize riding on it); what do you say?

It always comes on a Thursday and, after a familiar dialogue of forty days, it always leaves one speechless (so to speak). In this episode from 2007, Fr. Joseph looks at the "Hi's" and "Hello's" of the Feasts.

Fr. Joseph speaks at the Greek Orthodox Metropolis of Denver's Clergy-Laity Conference, hosted by St George Greek Orthodox Church, Albuquerque, New Mexico. (He was going to title the talk "What Does a Greek Look Like?"—but then again, what DOES a Greek look like?)

Everyone from Nero to Kissinger to Osama to GaGa has been believed to be the Antichrist. The weekly Bible study group at St. Joseph Church, Houston, is about to learn from—I mean, of—another one.

From clerical collar-wearing altar boys to (apparently) Alice Cooper and KISS attending the Paschal Matins -- Oh, and you've never heard the Good News till you've heard it read in German, with a Japanese twist and a Southern accent. (In this "blast from the past," Fr. Joseph even describes how to get one's choir-directing wife to "do her job" only 48 hours after giving birth!)

A silly visit from the "Easter Bunny" leads to a serious exposé of "Spring Celebration Customs," the bunny basket, and the Pascha basket—even red eggs—in this timely encore episode.

In the last episode, Fr. Joseph encountered a little green church elf, Elton John, Lady GaGa, Archie Bunker, and Buzz Lightyear in pajamas. In this concluding episode, he tries to make sense of it all (with the help of Ol' Scratch).

Due to a knock on the noggin, Fr. Joseph finds himself fast-forwarding toward Pascha and holding hands with a green elf at midnight in a church where everybody is clothed in their pajamas and the iconostasis has been replaced with ... dirty laundry?

Due to circumstances beyond his control, Fr. Joseph recorded this podcast from his bathroom. This is a true statement and has nothing to do with the title of this episode (which, thanks to St. Paul, includes a bad word seldom uttered politely).

Fr. Joseph revisits "The Tonight Show" and dreams of hosting, guesting and side-kicking (featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Conan O'Brien, Carnac the Magnorfodox, David of Wales, Red Skelton, "the world's greatest grape catcher" and more)!

There is perfect freedom in Christ, but when it comes to the church: don't cross your legs, leave your crumbs, or even bring your gum! Fr Joseph rehearses a few of the dos and don'ts of temple worship.

From handling serpents rightly to singing services wrongly—not to mention girl crushes, bike crashes, and the lack of clairvoyance—the clergy of the Diocese of Wichita and Mid-America have tales to tell.

Fr. Joseph reads a few of his own obits—just don't say he "died" on the radio.