Good Night

I'm sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room, happily thinking I changed the oil in my car last week. When I told My Lady Wonder Wench she said, "No, you changed the oil in my car last week." I said, "Huh?" She said "Go check the little sticker they put on the windshield." I did. She was right. I'm glad I said "Huh?" instead of starting an argument. "Huh?" is very seldom the last word in a discussion. It's usually the start of double checking something. It's a good word..."Huh?" Because lots of times double checking instead of starting a fight is a very good idea. It's not a word we use to start a fight. It just says, "your idea surprises me, and I need to check it out." "Huh?" is not only a good start to checking out a fact, it's also the most under used word in our language. The most over used word is, "Well." Almost any time a person is answering a question, the first word out of his mouth is, "Well. "What's the weather going to be like tomorrow Joe? Well.

My smart phone is watching me...and it can watch you too. There's an app for that. There's an app for almost everything. Almost everthing. I am sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly, black leather poppa chair in my living room, and I have just come across a new survey from the University of Michigan. They used data from a smart phone app to measure sleep patterns around the world. Our smart phones are watching our every move. There is a smart phone app for everything. Well, almost everything. There is an app that measures your weight, your BMI, your heart rate, & then tells you the weather forecast. Why not a little screen that pops up to tell you where you rate on the ugly or beautiful scale? There's an app that tells you when your shower is just the temperature you like. You can't just put your hand in the water instead? Then there's the Oral-B pro 5000 series that alerts you when you're brushing too hard. Seriously. And the August Smart Lock that identifies you by your smart phone and unlocks you

I am sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable black leather poppa chair in my living room trying to get some feeling back in my right arm. Since you know by now that my Lady Wonder Wench and I have been married for a long time, it shouldn't shock you to know that we sleep together. And since you know that I am a testosterone soaked Louie Louie Generation wretch it won't curl you hair too tightly to know that I often like to sleep with her in the spoon position. That's where she's lying on her right side, and I get to put my left arm around her for a comfortable, warm, and sexy snuggle. The problem is that the spoon position leans my entire weight on my right arm, which I have to tuck in under my head, and which in about ten minutes produces a pain so far above childbirth that women can't possibly imagine it. It's worse than the pain that only guys experience when we're at a movie theater, and we put our arm around our date's shoulder and leave it there through an entire feature film. There has got to be an

There's no such thing as a hopeless romantic. Hope is...hopeful, but it isn't sure. That's why cynics aren't romantic. They have no hope. They are absolutely sure about everything. And the things they're sure about are negative. Even about hope they're negative. No hope...no romance. What a shame. Today's podcast is called "Hope Is Hot." Because without hope, life gets pretty cold. There are a couple of emails in the podcast. One guy writes to say, "Like you I'm a little past Springtime in my life. My youth was stolen from me through the years. But I've just decided to get it back." Wow. That's definitely a Big Louie kind of decision. Do you hear the sound of hope in it? There's a Bedtime Story called, "Lonely Lurks" in today's podcast. It's about the threat of giving up hope. Happens to lots of people. That's one of the reasons for doing my spoken word CDs. Hope gets slippery some nights. It has a tendency to sneak away in the dark. That's why lonely lurks in the dark. Some smart guys in white lab coats

This podcast is about a fantasy I've had for a very long time. It involves the airplane that I don't have any more. The airplane is gone, but the fantasy lives on.

"Sunrise, Sunset" is one of the most beautiful and powerful songs ever to grace Broadway. It's from a show called, "Fiddler on the Roof." "Sunrise, sunset, swiftly fly the years." It's about a man and woman trying to come to grips with the changes that have taken place during their lives. Sunrise, sunset. A beginning and an end. But I sometimes wonder what happened in between the sunrise and the sunset. What went on at lunch time? "Sunrise, sunset, Swiftly fly the years, One season following another, Laden with happiness and tears." There was a "Sunrise" in my life, a very long time ago. My Dad took me to Madison Square Garden in New York for some kind exhibition. Part of the exhibit was a Piper J-3 Cub. Yellow. Fabric. Just like the ones I saw flying over the house in Brooklyn. I think I was 5 years old. Dad picked me up, and put me in the cockpit. I very clearly remember that my eyes felt like about 30 pounds each they got so big. It was the beginning, the Sunrise of my life as a pilot. The Sunset came yes

Men and women aren't just different sexes. We're opposite sexes. And that's good. It's like a battery that needs a positive pole and a negative poll. Opposites start the current running. And that's what powers our lives.

There are two mighty questions that every married guy faces. You cannot avoid them. And how you answer them will determine the future of your sex life. Question# 1- "If I died would you get married again?" Question #2 - "Were you a virgin when we got married?" This podcast will help you navigate this awful trap.

I do a lot of these podcasts sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in the middle of the night. The middle of the night is a time for strange thoughts. I think it was in the middle of the night that Louie Pasteur said "Ok everybody...boil the milk. When everybody woke up they said, "Boiled milk...Louieeee?" I don't remember who discovered atoms or if it was in the middle of the night. Big Louie says "You can't trust atoms, because they make up everything." How about this for weird. Everything you see is made up of atoms, but atoms are way too small to see. Catherine Zeta Jones is a bunch of atoms. I can't see her atoms, but I am delighted to be able to see her. I don't understand that, but I do appreciate her. Better be careful of getting too chummy with your nearby atoms. Remember what happens if you drop an atom. You get a mushroom shaped cloud. Atoms are so small that a lump of sugar contains as many atoms as there are stars in the universe. Not just the milky way, the whol

E mails occasionally pour in to dick@dicksummer.com. Here's one that just poured. It says, "Dick, Just thought I'd share a couple of life rules with you that I've learned that have helped my marriage (of 45 years): Rule #1: Instead of arguing or debating with your wife too often, always agree with your wife on all the little things. This will make her happy and make your day go much more smoothly. Rule # 2: EVERTHING is a little thing....For you to share (or NOT to share) with you podcast listeners. -Jim Merrill-" Jim's note got me to thinking. As some of you know, that can be dangerous. As Big Louie, the head guy of the Louie Louie Generation says in my book Staying Happy, Healthy And Hot…available at Amazon…Louie says, "Salespeople have relationships with buyers. Lovers have romances…together." I have a decades long romance with my Lady Wonder Wench, based on the premise that folks who sweat together, stick together. There are some quick rules of thumb that can help you develop some mutual sweat. For e

Our next door neighbors, Randy and Bernadette invited my Lady Wonder Wench and me over for dinner last night. Having good friends for neighbors is very special. Randy and I have lots of things in common, including working some pretty weird overnight hours. One of our basic points of agreement is, "There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee." Randy is a lot younger than I am, so he sometimes looks to me for guidance in dealing with the onrushing years. I'm young at heart, but not so much young in other places. I always tell Randy, "Life is short, so smile while you still have teeth." And, "We have a left brain and a right brain so we can keep secrets from ourselves. Secrets like 'Why did I just walk into this room? Where did I leave my car? I tell him, "Be careful, because with age sometimes comes oldness. Don't let that happen. You're never too old to decide to act younger. Remember what Big Louie says in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot…'If you have any moving parts l

I have been sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly black leather poppa chair in my living room, cleverly disguised as a responsible adult for quite a while now. It has taken some time, but I have come to the "Been There Done That" place in my life. It's a comfortable place. A place where I can safely sit back, breathe deeply and say Huh to the great confusions that are all around us. I just saw a commercial that rates a big Huh. It's a super on the screen that says the people in this commercial are real people not actors. As some of you know I have done more than my share of voiceovers for TV commercials. People who do TV voiceovers are called voice actors. So I am an actor, but the IRS seems to feel that I am never the less a real person, who better send them the appropriate tax on what I have been paid as an actor. That doesn't affect very many people, so that just gets a single breath Huh? I have just read a book written by a very well known smart guy doctor. It gets a three breath Huh? The esse

Nailed it. The sign on the wall at the airport today. It nailed the explanation for why we boys need to have toys. The sign says, "Don't let the boy die before the man." That's why God made the word Toy rhyme with the word Boy. Boys need toys. I keep telling you that. I suppose that's why an Email one guy sent to me called me the, "Toy Boy." And I kind of like that name. Here's what made me want to tell you about this. My Lady Wonder Wench and I were enjoying a charity pancake breakfast at the airport today, and one of the guys had nailed the sign up on the wall of his hanger. It said, "Don't let the boy die before the man." I don't know who originally said that, but wow it's just like Big Louie's most important rule. Big Louie is the head guy of the Louie Louie Generation, and in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, he always says, "If you have any moving parts left, for cryin' out loud, MOVE 'EM".

I was just standing by my front door admiring the lights I just put in on my driveway, when all of a sudden I was on the floor. I assumed the push up position, and pushed, but Mr. Floor didn't budge. Very embarrassing.

There are some things we simply never admit. For example, when you get a phone call on Saturday morning at 2 AM...and you think, "Oh my God I hope this is a wrong number," but it turns out it's a friend who immediately says, "I didn't wake you did I?" You never admit you were sleeping. You don't admit that your idiot friend woke you just when you had a dream going about Catherine Zeta Jones and her twin sister Desire. No sir. When your friend says, "I didn't wake you did I" you say something like, "No I was just sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair reading the bible." It's just one of those harmless lies that keep best friends from taking after Caine and Abel....especially when it comes to politics. That leads me to wonder if there is really anything like a harmless lie. Next time I'm reading the bible, I'll check out the 10 Commandments, and see if I can find any appropriate loopholes. By the way, the first time I looked in the bible, which was a long time ago, I found something t

A bunch of guys in powdered wigs and funny hats carrying flintlocks got it right all those years ago. Some of them didn't like each other very much, but they understood the value of E Pluribus Unum. Roughly translated that means "Teamwork." We're yelling at each other a lot these days, but I'm glad to see that we still take time out from screaming to enjoy our fireworks, hot dogs, baseball and beer together. I got a lesson about that a while ago at a baseball game. It was a shot in the gut that made me feel so good, so proud that I wrote about it in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. It happened at a New York Mets game when the PA announcer asked everyone to "stand and honor America, as eight year-old Grace [somebody] sings our national anthem." I don't remember her last name. I wish I did. Because she was amazing.

The softest nights of the year are making us comfortable right now. Soft Summer nights. They have special sounds. Can you imagine all the "hooking up" that's taking place with all the crickets and fire flies, and whatever creatures are making those Summer night sounds? I recorded tonight's soft Summer sounds and I'm going to use it to spin some friends heads around on New Year's Eve.

Oh my gosh what I found in the wash! It's an ancient T shirt from my WNBC radio days. It says, "The Dick Summer Holy City Of Brooklyn Stick Ball Championship and Doo Wop Festival Extravaganza!" And it still fits. As a matter of fact it looks a little chesty. I called Brooklyn the "Holy City" because I was born there. "What" you might say "was the Dick Summer Holy City Of Brooklyn Stick Ball Championship and Doo Wop Festival Extravaganza?" And that would be a reasonable question. It was FUN, that's what it was. See, there was a time when we used to have fun on the radio. We didn't play as many songs as today's radio guys play, because fun takes some time. This particular hunk of fun was exactly what the title says. We made arrangements with the city to use the parking lot at Brooklyn's Riis Park, and we had a free fun day with our listeners. Doo Wop groups from all over town got to sing, and we had a stick ball home run derby. We had all kinds of Brooklyn food. Hot dogs from Nathans, cheese cakes from Junio

The flowers are so bright they're almost noisy. The hot dogs and beer taste best at the beach. The ladies are wearing their summer outfits. Vacations are getting close. Don't let the bad stuff that's going on in the news distract you from smelling the roses, enjoying the pretty ladies/handsome guys and walking around in the sunshine.

Bad morning this morning. I caught myself saying, "oooff" when I stood up this morning. And my feet hurt. And it felt like a bug carrying the dreaded "instant old virus" was buzzing around me, looking for a place to bite. So as I was drinking some coffee out of my cup that says "Dad" in big brown letters, I realized it was such a nasty morning, that if I didn't want to let it spoil my whole day, I'd better take a minute and think about a couple of ideas from my own book, Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. Idea #1- As long as you have some moving parts left, for cryin' out loud, move 'em. And idea #2 - You can never tell when something wonderful is going to happen. Think about that one. So many people are afraid that you can never tell when something terrible is going to happen...but it's also true that you can never tell when something wonderful is going to happen. Haven't you found that to be true?